It's happening again - please help, really upset

[narmada]

Hi everyone

Sorry long post.
Had a terrible time trying to BF my first daughter. Very traumatised by it at the time. We did relactation at 7 weeks and eventually she was off formula completely.

New DS was born on Tuesday evening, all well with him and the birth, save for me being a GBS carrier and there not having been time for IV antibiotics.

We are now home, I have plenty of help around the house and with my DD, now 2.5, but she is being very demanding, wanting to be in DS's presence all the time, bless her. I have spoken to hospital BF supporter, and recieved I think good advice, but finding it hard to trust myself and my instincts, and trying to establish BF with DS extremely stressful again.

He does not really wake to 'demand' feeds, so I am having to wake him to feed him, struggling to latch and gape wide enough (checked for tongue tie, doesn't appear to be a problem), struggling to get him to stay actively feeding when he is on. He has now not pooed since yesterday morning. And just a couple of wees, dry-ish and cracked lips, so I have been giving him formula supplements and EBM supplements where possible as I do not want him to get dehydrated. I am also trying to do skin-to-skin (I do not want to do bed-sharing) and hand expressing after top-ups but finding it totally exhausting. Milk not come in, but it didn't last time until day 5-6? Amount of colostrum I can express is now significantly less than pre- and immediately after the birth. I am a competent hand-expresser after last time's relactation efforts

Have probably had about 5 hours sleep in total since he was born.

Gotta wake him to try and feed him now, while DP and grandparents wrestle DD in to bed. Can anyone talk me down and tell me what to do succinctly??!!!

crikey, yes, much better day today. thanks for your post . DS fed quite well and we even managed a trip to town. it all seemed so bleak yesterday when both kids were throwing up and crying, and DS was sleeping and fighting the breast ....

Very common for them to fuss, my DD is nightmare in day feeds great in night! -

www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/fussy-while-nursing.html

Hope you all better? Hubby got this week off to help as DS off preschool for half term, not looking forward to him going back next week and having both to cope with all day ARRRRRGH! :-)

Good news narmada- sounds like you're getting there.

hannah, yes the psospect of having 2 at once scares the living daylights out of me. thank god for nursery. my DD in 2 days per week.

slightly off beam here, but i am right in thinking it unusual for a week and a bit baby to spontaneously roll onto his side?? he does it when he is posturing and arching. i think it's a bit strange ....

A progress report. Had DS weighed today and he has apparently put on 6 oz since Monday. He was weighed naked on a hard surface and with an empty tum so I think it is likely to be reasonably accurate. I know weight isn't everything, but I am so pleased as it means he has nearly regained his birthweight - another 80 g or so to go. Along with the wet and dirty nappy indicators, I am now quite sure he is doing OK.

All we have to tackle now is the probable reflux (we had a bitch of a night with that last night - he over-consumed and boy did we know it) and I am really hoping that that might get better as my supply regulates and he gets used to the fast flow.

That's a great weight gain narmada- must be reassuring.

Do you think it is a fast let down that is causing problems? If so, have you tried leaning back when feeding or just feeding from one side?

Yes trying both those things, crikey. it can only help. he takes in a lot of air, clicking and popping as jhe breaks the latch. Also have stopped expressing after feeds and going to have trial of letting DS regulate his own millk supply (shock horror) now he is nearing birthweight.

TBH i think there is probably an anatomical cause behind the reflux too - as his sis had it when FF (so not related to my flow or fast letdown) - his paternal grandfather suffers with reflux issues and my parther is on the fairly heavy-weight omeprazole to control his.

So it's probably a combo of factors ....

thanks for your ongoing support.

No probs, guessed you would already have thought of those things.

always nice to have soneone else's perspective

Good to hear Narmada

DD suffered with really bad wind and clicky latch but sorted herself out after a while, you just have to get through it! Past 3days she has started to bring some back up after nearly every feed, sure it will stop just as suddenly as its started!

DS does preschool for 3hrs 4days a week, 5days from Jan and off to proper school next Sept!

Now my supply has dropped (fewer poos and wees, less efficient feeding, sleepy son again in day) and up all night with him screaming, choking, coughing, sicking up inrto his gullet and/ or visibly and being generally miserable (both of us). I feel like i am on some kind of insane rollercoaster. i am chronically sleep deprived, emotionally wired and missng my poor DD who i have no time for.

hannah thanks for your post

Oh no narmada - not good.

Can you see anyone at a bf support group or give a helpline a ring for some ideas?

What do the hv's say, or did you say its hard to speak to a hv in your area?

Poor you and DS, whats he feeding like now? DD every 1.5-2hrs sometimes longer if out and she falls asleep, only feeds for 5-10mins on average with odd long one if sleepy!

I feel so bad for my DS as nearly 5months later DD still takes up most of my time, its really hard when DH is not here to help :-(

Yes i will do that crikey re phone lines. We are coming to the end of our ropes. or at least i am! now on reflux thread on here too. i am certain it's at issue. he has an episode every time he feeds, poos, lies down - basically all the time.

GP tomorrow. Just gotta last till then. Have also summoned mum back from north.

Oh the HV is totally mad. worse than useless.

ds feeding 5 mins every 2.5 hours or so, sometimes going longer. hourly during night sometinmes but not happily - mostly on off, scream, on off, poo, on off, sleep, squirm, vomit himself awake. need i go on?!

Sounds like my HV!

Good idea to go to GP and get the support from the reflux thread. Sounds like meds would help.

You're right though, you just gotta hang in there for a while.

my hv told me that it wasn't her proper job - and that when she'd got her mba she would get a better one.
that was one of her more minor useless / inappropriate comments

WHAT?! How unhelpful is she, def ring bf helpline tomorrow after docs, know docs sometimes give infant gaviscon powder sachets to help reflux but if bf and baby wont have bottle not quite sure how you suppose to get it in them?!

Yes that doesn't exactly show much dedication in her job does it!

Hope you get some more help at the docs narmada.

ah, gaviscon via syringe/ spoon i believe. if they will accept it into mouth. had it for DD, didn't work, but hey ho. she was bottle fed at that point so easier to administer.

I had it for DS but like your DD he was bottle fed, dont think he actually had refux looking back but he went of bottle at few months old for weeks and was unsettled then snapped out of it!

Hope your having an ok night we up for first time hurrah, just hoping she goes back to sleep ok when finished! :-)

meant off bottle, eyes not focusing properly!!