horrific first night. baby screaming unless at breast. haven't slept

[Bumperlicious]

God, am having a horrific time. Haven't slept in 24 hours. Baby screaming unless at the breast, but can't seem to stay latch on.

Tried laying down but kept delatching and getting hysterical. Tried biological nurturing position, normal cross cradle position. Some latches good, some bad. Nipples taking a bashing. Neither of us slept really. What can I do| I'm a small bout of delirium away from sending DH for formula and/or dummy which I really don't want to do.

Please help (this is DD2 btw)

How old is your LO?

This is literally the first night. About 12 hours old.

Oh God. You poor thing. No advice as I went the formula route but if you really don't want to that won't help in the long run.

Can DH take her into another room and try and settle her so you get some sleep? Does she seem hungry?

I'm assuming she was born yesterday. I found this with my DD2 as well, maybe not screaming all night but not dead easy. Your last experiences of breastfeeding were of a much older child who knew what they were doing, so it's hard to remember the early days of having to teach them how. How was your labour?? My DD2 was fast and I think she was a bit shocked, she didn't really calm down until i put her in a sling and held her tight to me for a good hour or more, after that she seemed calmer.

My DS did this constantly for the first 18 hours after he was born. The midwives wanted to take him away to give me some rest but I wouldnt let them and although it was utter hell and agony im glad I kept feeding him. Im sure he was in pain and feeding him was the only thing which stopped him screaming. The screaming was so bad we even took him to A&E!

So sorry you are having such a rough time, just take each feed one at a time and I hope it gets better for you soon.

Thanks. Have expressed a little onto a spoon an DH fed her. She is a bit more settled. I do want to feed her, just absolutely knackered. Feeding laying down was ok, but kept delatching then getting hysterical, in the end I wasn't caring how well she latched back on.

Not sure where to go from here. Need sleep but expect MW will be round soon. Mum here is about 3 hours (she is not great on the bfing thing, if I show weakness she will get stressed and try and get me to give formula). It's only the first day, I don't want to take that route yet unless I really have to, but SLEEP...

DD2 and DS were both like this. It didn't last long though, and the constant attempts at feeding should help your milk come in really soon. It's quicker the second time around and once it comes in properly things should become more settled. Best of luck. I hope it get better soon

My Dd was like that, god the noise of her when I was in the hospital, i was in the recovery ward and no one got any sleep.

As soon as I got home I gave her a dummy and she settled down fine, she is my second, we still breastfeeding at 8 months but it was a life saver in those early days.

I had a very similar first night when my DD was born. Nothing would calm her, she wouldn't latch, wasn't windy, couldn't be rocked to sleep.

In the end the midwifes insisted on giving her 30ml of formula as a top-up.

This wasn't ideal but she went straight to sleep which gave me a chance to get some sleep and get my head together.

N.B. this is the only formula she has ever had and we are still EBF at 11 weeks.

Next day I managed to feed her by expressing colostrum and syringe feeding her. By day 3 however we had the latch working and and we've gone from strength to strength since then.

You're doing really well to have been able to express some colostrum to feed her but if worst comes to worst and you do feel so exhausted you have to give her a top up then don't beat yourself up over it. As long as its just the one it won't do any long term damage and you might find yourself more able to cope after some proper sleep.

DS was like this, and I remember it very well. I found that skin to skin helped, as it calmed us both down. Have you tried baby led latching? Place her on your chest and let her find her own way to the nipple. You're best off doing it laying down, so you can also get some rest at the same time.

Avoid the formula if you can, know how tempting it is at the moment.

Congratulations on your DD. It does get easier - when my milk came in DS seemed to settle immediately. Keep latching her back on if she takes herself off, she'll get there eventually.

Big hugs. x

Hello you

Just searched for you name to find the birth announcement. Congratulations - what a size difference between DD1. DH said you were amazing xxx

I had a very similar first night with DD. She wouldn't latch on and when she did she would fall off again. Even when she had fed she would start screaming again. I remember feeling hysterical with tiredness and worry - it is so hideous not being able to go to sleep after giving birth.

I know you are a strong breast feeder and you know the best thing to do to establish breastfeeding. But you also need to do what is right for you without worrying what others will think - remember you are doing this in the context of 9 months of sleeplessness. I expect things will improve once the midwife comes and gives you some support. Also you could always ask for a breast feeding advisor or a friend from your bf group to visit to give you support (and hugs and chocolate). I found breast feeding became easier when I was given lots of support and encouragement.

Wish I was nearer I would love to meet new DD and give you both a big hug xx

Oh I remember this sort of night well. You do actually go a bit crazy with lack of sleep and stress.

I echo the skin to skin, and I had great success with feeding in the bath- calmed me down, there was lots of warm skin to skin and the water supporting ds' weight seemed to help my latch, which was terrible at first.

Another thing I tried was swaddling- not really as good as skin to skin and biological nurturing in terms of research but it's good to have another trick in your bag.

Hang in there, and keep coming on mn for help if you need it. x

She could just be totally freaked out by the whole birth thing, who wouldn't be!

I concur with the swaddling DS2 still likes to be wrapped up tight at 6mths. Wrap her up and try to find a comfy latch.

She will get it but you both need time to learn. She is designed to last a couple of days while learning, don't panic.

Congrats!

Congratulations Bumper, I was lurking whilst you were in labour but never went back to check on you.

Am not an expert but thought I would put my two pennorth in just in case any of it helps you.

Babies can survive several days with no food after they are born. So first of all, don't worry about your DD, and she doesn't need any formula.

That said, you could offer her some as a one off so you both get some sleep and then can go back to BF with a bit more energy. It is so so hard when you are totally exhausted esp straight after giving birth. I really don't believe that giving formula will interfere with BF, esp if you can give it via a syringe - I find these far easier than a spoon for medicine etc as no spillage so worth sending DH or DM out to get one from the chemists.

When feeding lying down, do you have her and yourself propped up with pillows? Even now feeding 7mo DD lying down I need her on a pillow in front of me, and another pillow behind me keeping me propped up on my side so I can relax.

Do you have a sling? Could DH put her in that and walk her round or even take her out for a walk so you can have an hours kip? Will she suck on his knuckle at all and does that help with the screaming?

Would DH be able to ring and find out when the MW is due to come round? If you knew that maybe you could relax more to have a nap.

Sending you as much positive energy as I can muster, you will get going with it, the first day or two are always the hardest.

Good luck :)

Hi Bumper

I feel your pain- had the same non-stop crying thing 2 nights ago with my son, who was then 3 days old, having been lulled into false sense of security by lovely 3 day stay in hospital with loads of help.

Anyway, that makes me a total newbie to this so prob not qualified to advise. However, some good advice I got from a MW in hospital was that in the first few days, it's just colostrum and for some babies (esp smaller ones) it's all just a bit too much hard work. She told me to basically massage my breasts to help squeeze it out and keep him a bit more interested- if you squeeze a few drops onto your nipple before attempting the latch, this seemed to make him open wider as well.

When the milk comes in properly you can stop doing this so it's just a few days.

Bumper - congratulations on your DD!

I had 2 nights like this with DS when he was born. I think I managed to get an hour's sleep both nights when DH managed to get him out of earshot for me. It calmed down hugely once my milk came in (went to about 3 night feeds quite quickly and then dropped to 2 very soon after) - so I think the answer really is just to keep trying to feed to stimulate your milk supply and get it coming in.

It's horrid, horrid, horrid. I think we met briefly on another thread last week - I'm 10 days overdue at the moment - and I'm dreading those first couple of nights. So you have lots of empathy from me, for what little it is worth!

SOmeone mentioned getting the baby to try and latch on herself and I definitely recommend this. Lie down, skin to skin with her lying on top of you (try her tummy to your tummy with her head up nearer your boobs) and let her find her own way to your breast, maybe offering a little nudge if she is just missing the nipple but otherwise just letting her do it. My DS would root frantically and then latch on and feed better than when I was trying to help position him. It was a life saver during the first few weeks as if we were having an unsettled time we could retreat to bed and he would feed much better and be more settled and I could just relax a bit.

Best of luck :)

Congratulations on having your baby. DS1 was like this (difficult birth, was in pain and the suckling helped - on plus side all that suckling meant milk came in by day 3 and he got full and was perfectly happy as soon as that happened). Top tips are (i) co sleep, (ii) let baby fall asleep in your arms after feeding - all that skin to skin hels, (iii) if you dont want to co sleep, swaddle, (iv) get DH/DP to pop baby in sling and take him out for a walk (guarantee he'll sleep for a couple of hours) while you get 2 hours sleep today - you'll feel human and better able to cope with things - do this every day while the nighttime sleeping is distubed - if possible get DH/DP to sleep on sofa/in different room so one of you is compos mentis for the daytimes and (v)remember, lots of us have been there and survived - it will pass and life will get so much easier after this tough start to having baby at home.

congratulations!
do try and keep her at the breast. You could keep trying to hand express and then feed on a spoon / syringe. keep working on her latch - all totally normal

Congratulations!!

The first few days were horrid, but I can't really remember the first night. I have to be induced and was on oxytocin for over 13 hours before DS would could out and then had an infection following delivery so was feverish.

I seem to remember coming in and out of conciousness thoughout the night to feed, but DS spent the entire night in the bed with me, and a midwife was on hand everytime to help him latch on.

We did end up having to do top up cup feeds with formula as DS blood sugar was low and he was also suffering from infection. We spend five days in hospital and it wasn't until the 3rd night I'd let the midwife ake him so I could get some proper sleep. As soon as he was away from me he slept for 3 hours straight, the midwife said this was probably because he couldn't smell the milk anymore.

Hang in there, it does get better.

You've had lots of good advice here, but just to add this little tip. Our fantastic breastfeeding clinic ladies told us to let DD suck a (clean) finger while learning to feed. We also swaddled her a lot in the beginning.
Congratulations!

Dd1 was like this for the first couple of nights. It's so hard. Dd2 was more settled, but on her second night she wanted to feed for 12 hours in a row with only a couple of short naps, luckily she latched ok, though my nipples took a real bashing too.

What helped me was to think that after this she will at some point settle and get lots of sleep. Your baby WILL sleep at some point! And this could only last a day or two, your dd will probably be much more settled in a day or so - this is the hardest part and once you get through this it'll be easier. Get your dh to take her for a while and have a cuppa and breathe, or a lie down. Take some painkillers. As others have said, if you do decide to give her a topup, then go for it and don't feel bad for one minute, but if you decide not to, bear in mind that she might conk out for a few hours any minute now! She's bound to be tired after all that fuss after all! Good luck!

I seem to remember some similar advice belinda, with regard to letting the baby suck a dummy or a finger before a feed so they get the correct position before starting on the nipple?

Also, (sorry for double post) I used vasoline on my nipples when they got cracked as it creates a barrier and stops the nipple from drying out... others recommend lansinoh cream.

Congratulations on your dd - I found the first couple of nights much harder the 2nd time around and like you was seconds away from driving down to the chemist in my pj's to get some formula at one point! Assuming you want to bf - as I did - then the best advice I was given was just to keep her attached whenever she makes a noise. Let her feed, feed, feed and then feed some more...as you know as soon as that milk's in she'll start sleeping for gradually longer and longer spells.

Have you got a bf counsellor you can call? Or try La Leche for some advice.

Stick with it, it won't last forever , and she'll settle soon, honest . Send dh out for some lansinoh cream too!