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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

What would a bf culture look like?

84 replies

MoonFaceMama · 16/09/2010 14:12

We live in an ff culture. How would you imagine the alternative to look?

I'll start with an obvious one. Smile

It would be the norm for babies to be bf in public. There would be no snearing/leering because everyone would know that feeding babies are what boobs are for.

OP posts:
fuschiagroan · 16/09/2010 20:50

I always assumed that breastfeeding is normal and ff (right from birth) is usually a last resort. I didn't realise people felt persecuted about it. I am quite middle class though.

usualsuspect · 16/09/2010 20:53

I know loads of mums that bf .never known them to have negative comments..I'm working class as well Shock

nickytwotimes · 16/09/2010 20:54

hardly any bfers here.

have had awful reactions in public.

fluffles · 16/09/2010 21:04

i was bf and my little brother was bf (i was 7 by then so noticed) all my friends bf.. i haven't carried a pregnancy to term yet but i so far do live in a bf 'sub-culture'... i hope that this lasts when i do feed my own child.

Original poster
MoonFaceMama · 16/09/2010 21:14

Bertiebotts that is a great point about non branding formula. And all the others. Can't help that think more flexible working would be beneficial for society in general. Eg carers.

Nicky and usual. I'm glad you and "hardly any bfers here" have not had bad reactions. What about the few that have? It may be a few but it's a few too many in my book. What about those who never even got that far, the (possibly imagined) thought of the attention putting them off bf altogether? And how many bfers experience pressure from friends and family to stop before they and dc would really like to? How many continue to bf in secret, behind closed doors?

So that's another for me. In a bf culture natural term bf would be encouraged (like in mongolia!)

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Original poster
MoonFaceMama · 16/09/2010 21:17

so sorry nicky. Completly misread your post. Blush

Sad about those reactions. Do you mind sharing what happened?

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EdgarAllInPink · 16/09/2010 21:17

apparently 25% of UK women still BF at 6mo..
biggest drop out from the initil 70% odd in first 6 weeks.
so not that common after the first few weeks.

Original poster
MoonFaceMama · 16/09/2010 21:20

fluffles, i really hope the best for your future pregnancies. Make sure you seek out support from the nct or lll before your lo arrives so they at your fingertips when the time comes. Smile

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nickytwotimes · 16/09/2010 21:29

no probs moon!

tutting, being told i am starving my kid...

usualsuspect · 16/09/2010 21:33

I'm trying to say if you let it become normal it will .. some people on here banging on about bad experiences don't help ..its not special iyswim just normal ..probably not expressing (pardon the pun)my self well here..sorry

tabouleh · 16/09/2010 21:35

Breastfeeding culture videos from around the world.

I've looked at a few - v. interesting!

Original poster
MoonFaceMama · 16/09/2010 21:39

Sad i do sometimes wonder how people think we survived before formula. Confused

It makes me so Angry and Sad feeding young is something women used to be revered for (look at the willendorf venus with all those boobs!) and now we doubt our ability, and deny other womens ability, to do it at all Sad and those that manage risk being pilloried. Sad Sad

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Original poster
MoonFaceMama · 16/09/2010 21:45

I see what you mean usual, the fear of reaction does put people off bf (and therefore finding out that abuse is unlikely) , but some people do get stick for bf in public.

Surely we tackle the idea that bf in public is in someway bad, rather than pretending no one ever says anything negative to a bf mother?

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Original poster
MoonFaceMama · 16/09/2010 21:47

Thanks for the link tabouleh. I'll have a look tomorrow when i'm on the computer Smile

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SteepApproach · 16/09/2010 21:57

There would be no pressure to feed "discreetly". Anyone who needs to use nipple shields, etc. would feel they could do so in public without anyone staring.

I second the idea of increased integration of paid work and childcare.

crikeybadger · 16/09/2010 22:05

Edgar- only 3 per cent of UK babies are bf at five months (according to the 2005 infant feeding survey).

In my bf culture we would have parents and relations who would encourage and praise women for breastfeeding (even if they were ff themselves). Not undermine it by suggestions of offering a bottle, weaning early, poor milk quality, needing Guiness to fortify the milk, making comments about frequency of feeding, blah blah blah.

theboobmeister · 16/09/2010 22:42

I reckon a BF culture would be as judgemental and unsupportive as our current one, just a lot better informed about BF ...

The old granny on the bus would lean over and say "Oooh you don't want to latch him on like that dear, your nipples will be torn to shreds"

A baby crying in a restaurant would be met with tutting comments of "Why isn't the silly woman getting her boobs out?"

ClimberChick · 17/09/2010 07:06

I wonder if our children will be close to this world.

lol at the theboobmeister, funny but oh so true.

EdgarAllInPink · 17/09/2010 08:29

do you mean exclusively BF? I don't.

Original poster
MoonFaceMama · 17/09/2010 09:00

steepapproach, yes that whole "discreet" thing really riles me! We're talking about feeding a baby in a world where sexual nudity is every where and people blether on about being discreet! stfu!

Lol at boobmeister! Sadly yes, i think people may always judge something.But i do think bf has taught me a whole new way of going with the flow. I really think that has made me a bit less judgey. I'm certainly more aware of judgeyness since mn motherhood.

Edgar i'm still not sure of the point you were making with your stats. Sorry! Blush

And...dolls would not automatically come with bottles and children would play at breastfeeding.

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mollycuddles · 17/09/2010 09:13

There would be no need for bf support groups which although useful do make it seem that bf is akin to an illness. But if you did go to such a group you wouldn't hear (as I did yesterday) the hv leading it encouraging a not very confident mum of a 3 week old to add in a bottle of aptamil to make life easier.

spiritmum · 17/09/2010 09:22

I'm another one who lives in an area where bf is the norm and ff is actively frowned upon. I felt a huge amount of shame over ffeeding my dc in public even though I had no choice, whereas bfeeding dd2 got heaps of praise.

What woudl a bfeeding culture look like for dds like mine who want to feed their dollies? Is it acceptable for my 8 yr old, who is developing, to pull up her top and pretend to bf in public? (although she is going off dolls tbh, not all are at her age). What about boys playing with dolls? My ds used to love bottle feeding his doll. Don't think he cared if it was formula or expressed.

TrillianAstra · 17/09/2010 09:29

Silly to say that there would be no need for BF support groups - even if (I could say especially if) BF was everyone's first choice, some people would still find it difficult and would need help.

If we lived in a "BF culture" how much worse would it feel to be someone who tried BF but failed? All the old ladies would see you with your bottle and mutter 'didn't want to ruin your figure, hmmph, selfish cow', and younger women would say 'it's pregnancy that makes them sag, not BF, but I suppose it's too late for that now'.

Why not strive for a culture of education and choice, where a woman (or man) feeding their baby in any way is unremarked upon and people are nothign but helpful and considerate.

SirBoobAlot · 17/09/2010 09:30

Hooter Hiders and the like would go out of business because there would be no need to feel you should cover up when feeding.

Breast pads, Lansinoh and breastfeeding helpline adverts would replace formula adverts on the television and in magazines.

Women would be well aware of the myths about breastfeeding / breast milk, and would be educated enough to challenge them.

There would be one-on-one breastfeeding support available from day one.

Bottles would not be used on baby cards, clothes, feeding room signs, to accompany dolls...

Extended feeding would be viewed as a year (or two...) plus, not from six months.

TrillianAstra · 17/09/2010 09:33

Just playing Devil's Advocate, obviously there is work to do before BF is accepted as much as it should be, but I don't like the phrasing of 'BF culture', sounds as if you want things to go too far the other way.