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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Christ its started already <sigh>

60 replies

TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:19

At my booking in appointment!

Already going on about breastfeeding, handing me leaflets, talking about classes, asking about my other kids feeding.

I'm 8 weeks pregnant for gods sake!

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 15/09/2010 15:20
Hmm

So? You are pregnant. When better to start talking about how to feed your baby?

jemjabella · 15/09/2010 15:24

It'd be a bit late several weeks PP, don't you think?

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:25

Yes but she refused to talk about homebirth or pain relief, she wouln't even go into details about my 20 week scan, but she had plenty of time to rant about breastfeeding.

Theres enough pressure over it without that.

I don't even want to think about it yet :(

OP posts:
Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:26

Yes of course 2 weeks pp would be too late! lol

but ask me how I plan to feed at 34 weeks or something, it just upset me. I don't want to start all that already!

OP posts:
EdgarAllInPink · 15/09/2010 15:26

that mkes a change... first time round they just asked me, ticked a box, and that was it...

until i gave birth and then didn't have the first clue how to get a tiny tot to latch on!

if it annoys you OP, how about a firm 'No'?

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:28

Because its not as simple as a firm no.

Arghh, see I've gotten myself further into it by starting this, nobbyphant I am!

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 15/09/2010 15:28

Why has it upset you though, have you had bad feeding experiences in the past (apols if this is your first).

To be honest it is good to get all the info you can to make a reasoned decision, perhaps this is what midwife was trying to do.

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:29

No its my 4th and I don't want to be made to feel bad for bottle feeding or feel like a failure again.

OP posts:
jemjabella · 15/09/2010 15:29

TBH most of my midwives wouldn't really talk to me about anything like that (pain relief etc) until after the 20 week scan.

chocolatefroggie · 15/09/2010 15:31

This really gets me too OP - If they say it's too early to talk about how baby is born then it's definitely to early to talk about how baby will be fed! I'm not at all anti breast feeding but I do agree it gets very tiresome.

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:34

i think you said it better than me froggie Blush

I'm not anti-BF, I truely love to see a BF baby, but I feel its too much pressure to start this stuff already.

OP posts:
jemjabella · 15/09/2010 15:34

Ahh, you have previous exp - might be worth talking to someone about this at some point (although not right now, as you're obviously not ready) just to settle things in your mind :)

I know they do de-briefing style thingies for traumatic births, I wonder if they do the same for feeding issues with previous babies...

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:36

jem, last time i decided to FF from the off, but was made to feel so guilty for it that i tried in vain to re establish BF at a week old.

she latched once.

So if i try to do it (like with my first 2) i fail.

if i don't try at all like with DD i'm consumed with guilt and fail.

Why can't it just be OK to FF?

Because it really isn't anymore :(

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 15/09/2010 15:37

Oh I see.

Don't feel guilty, though, just tell her calmly 'I am bottle feeding like my other 3 children, thanks' and make it clear it is the end of the discussion.

You evidently have your reasons for not doing so, and to be honest you come across as quite wound up by it. I would hope that your midwife would respect your decision, and just leave the subject well alone.

Agree at this stage you are probably better off talking about a potential homebirth.

Try not to let it stress you out and make you all defensive. You don't HAVe to defend anything imo, you have made a decision as an adult and that is that, imo.

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:39

I have 'tried' to BF all 3 (though my last attempt was probably doomed from the start) and I just CANNOT do it.

OP posts:
jemjabella · 15/09/2010 15:45

Have you ever been supported with BFing or just made to feel guilty when it goes wrong? 'Cause I think support makes the difference, and would make a difference to your frame of mind.

Obviously you can choose to FF. Nobody can force you to breastfeed, and if YOU are OK with FF then that should be enough.

I am in the "it never hurts to try" camp but actively guilting mums into something they're not comfortable with is pointless and counter-productive IMO.

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:48

theres no support,

both times the babies latched on with MW there but i couldn't do it when they went

my milk never came in.

i have never had a gush of milk from my breasts, never after 3 babies.

I hve squeezed and a trickle come out but never anything more.
i just don't think my breasts work for BFing.

OP posts:
Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:48

no one in my family has ever done it so i have no one to ask.

OP posts:
jemjabella · 15/09/2010 15:51

Where are you based? Could probably find you local support groups / LLL - but this would only be worthwhile looking at if you wanted to try again and wanted to talk through what you've been through beforehand, no point me digging up info if you don't :)

chocolatefroggie · 15/09/2010 15:52

I had this with my first I felt really pressured throughout the pregnancy and got really worried that I wouldn't be able to, which in the end with a prem baby I wasn't able to. I felt guilty which wasn't helped by my the breastfeeding police dear MIL and having to justify my decision to hv, nosy friends etc.

Next time I am simply going to say to mw that I will make my decision on feeding once baby is born and I do not wish to discuss it further.
I think you need to be firm and not feel you have to explain why, it's annoying but definately say something now or if your like me at all you'll end up getting wound up about it everytime you see her

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2010 15:52

totoros, a lot of people never have gushing milk. it isn't a sign that there is none there

if you do want to give it a go again that's tgreat, i would second finding out if you have a local LLL group for support.

otherwise if you WANT to FF and feel that is the best option for you then you have no reason to feel guilty do you? cos you'll be doing what i sbest for you

jemjabella · 15/09/2010 15:53

'I think you need to be firm and not feel you have to explain why'

wigglesrock · 15/09/2010 15:57

Toto I understand exactly what you mean, when I was pregnant with my first, I was asked several times at booking in, I was so worried I was going to lose the baby as I had waited so long to conceive, that in the end I just shouted could you just wait until I have my first bloody scan to make sure baby is still there Blush.

Am now 18 weeks with 3rd and have perfected my "we'll talk about it when I want young lady stare". If you are interested in breast feeding there is some good support on feeding forum here.

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:57

I don't know how I feel though.

I want to BF - but I feel like if I try I will fail again so I'm just setting myself up for a huge disapointment.

I also want to FF - but if I d I will feel bad for not even trying!

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 15/09/2010 15:59

I think it's a standard question at the booking in; 'how would you like to feed your baby'. It's so that it's on your maternity notes and tehy know what kind of support they need to give you.

Did she push it because you said you were going to FF or was it that you dind't really know.

they are probably just trying to help.

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