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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Christ its started already <sigh>

60 replies

TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 15:19

At my booking in appointment!

Already going on about breastfeeding, handing me leaflets, talking about classes, asking about my other kids feeding.

I'm 8 weeks pregnant for gods sake!

OP posts:

jemjabella · 15/09/2010 16:07

TotorosOcarina - you're obvs. still very early along. I think tbh I'd leave it a while, put it to the back of your mind and then in a couple of months have a think. If you want to try BFing again, post on here and there's loads of mums who'll help / point you in the right direction. If you decide you don't want to try, then there's also support for that too. Nothing is set in stone.

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2010 16:12

well you don't even need to think about it yet. just say whatever you like to them at the booking apt. it doesn't matter.

talk to your MW about it if you feel you need to. otherwise don't worry about it

GetOrfMoiLand · 15/09/2010 16:37

Poor you. I think it would be lovely if you could speak to some advisors (have no clue who) who could help you try BF with no hassle/judgement at the time. I imagine that you have got yourself so worked up about 'failing' (horrible word, you are not failing them) that you have had problems in getting them to latch on from the start.

You do need to convince yourself that whatever you do, if you try or not, that you are NOT failing your babies.

MumNWLondon · 15/09/2010 19:03

If they ask again you could say something like - well I'd like to breastfeed, but I haven't managed in the past, and as the BFing support post partum is non existant, it seems likely I'll be FFing again.

It annoys me that the NHS push BFing so much when they don't really provide the support for those who find it difficult.

FioFio · 15/09/2010 19:05

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FioFio · 15/09/2010 19:07

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Original poster

TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 19:23

Please Fio, that would be great, thankyou.

I just feel like even though they go on and on about it, theres not actually anyone THERE to be with you when it happens!

OP posts:

FioFio · 15/09/2010 19:25

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FioFio · 15/09/2010 19:26

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Original poster

TotorosOcarina · 15/09/2010 19:33

thanks fio, will pass it back to you once read.

i always felt a bit intimidated by LLL, i dunno, i thought they would be really posh and ridicule me, lol.

OP posts:

MigGril · 15/09/2010 19:37

TotorosOcarina I total get where you are coming from, they push BF then there isn't the support there to help you achive that goal. (and this is coming from some one who did BF)

I feel I was lucky in that I didn't have to many problems. But still felt like I had to find out the information for myself and not relie on MW/HV to actualy know anything about BF.

I think it's great if you want to try again, but agree that you shouldn't be presured into it.

Maybe look into finding what support is avaible localy at a latter date. Most of the best support avavible is through volantry orginisations like NCT and BfN.

strawberrycake · 15/09/2010 19:50

I would happily support all the bf push they do in pregnancy and more...

They offered any damn support with actually doing it. I've lost count of how many people gave me/ are still giving the breast is bests lines but I can easily count the number of people who helped me/ showed me how to. It's zero.

Yes I am quite bitter. I wanted to bf really badly, tried daily for 6 weeks. Asked for help numerous times. Failed. Now my son is allergic to every milk he's had so far and his skin's a mess. I now know the combination of silent reflux/ dairy allergy and flat nipples would make it hard for anyone, let alone a first timer with no family support.

ThatDamnDog · 15/09/2010 19:53

Toto, you sound so sad :(

If, and only if, you think you might want to try again with breastfeeding then I do really think contacting one of the support organisations would be a great idea. They won't judge you - goodness me, you've been terribly let down by the sounds of things, what's to judge anyway? - and you can ask them to go through your previous experiences with you to try and identify the problem. That might help you decide whether you want to go down that road again.

You can get support and advice by going to a meeting or cafe, by phoning a helpline or by email, whatever feels best. I'll link you to a list of contacts if you would like.

I don't think anyone has the right to make you feel bad - you've had a rotten time by the sounds of things.

catinthehat2 · 15/09/2010 19:53

Jemjabella is right:
"'I think you need to be firm and not feel you have to explain why'

ethelina · 15/09/2010 20:13

Totoro I am in the throes of trying to establish bf since discharge from hosp Sunday morning. I managed to do it when the mw was there to hlp but only once on my own in hospital. From sun 6am to tues 9am every attemp failed and we resorted to ff. Finally made it happen tues am and milk came in tues eve. A day later and about half the attempts work. I've bought a pump to try and keep flow going, not able to express much yet at a time though hopefully practice makes perfect? Anyway the only info I was given was a leaflet on discharge with local group phone numbers.
In desperation my lovely dh called one and now I have appt at the nearest group tomorrow. Feeling much mor optimistic - dh glad as I was a total wreck when I realised it just wasn't happning for me.
The support and info I was given in my pregnancy re bf:ff was zero and I would have been grateful at around the 28 week I was given ANY info at all. I agree that a/n booking is too early but wish I had something to help me before the birth.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope it turns out successfully for you this time.

ethelina · 15/09/2010 20:15

crappy iPhone touchscreen - gave up correcting mistakes in the end...

StarlightMcKenzie · 15/09/2010 20:19

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MoonFaceMama · 15/09/2010 21:18

i know the thread has moved on somewhat, and op i really hope you get support to feed how ever you decide.

But i just want to make a more general point about the promotion of bf in early pg.

Most people on here know something of bf. Many people just don't even consider it as an option. There are women who have never seen bf. Whos mothers were ff, and theirs. Who have no knowledge of bf at all really.
When a woman finds out she is pg for the first time there maybe an assumption by those around her, and herself, that she will ff, because that is her experience of how babies are fed.

After a lifetime of that, surely the notion that there is another way should be raised as soon as possible. Six months for that seed of knowledge to grow to a point whereby a woman feels it's something she could do?

AngelDog · 15/09/2010 21:29

OP, sorry that you had such a miserable experience. It seems to be so variable - I'm sure I was asked (I planned to bf) but I had virtually no information during pregnancy, and literally no support on the postntatal ward after DS was born.

As it happens, I have managed to bf and I am very grateful that I haven't faced many problems with it. But there was certainly a lack of useful support and information on the issue both during my pregnancy and after the birth.

I do hope you find some decent support for whichever route you decide to go down.

Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way. :)

HoopsAndBaby · 15/09/2010 21:43

When I found out I was expecting I got every book out of the library, researched on the internet and basically swotted up because I had heard that support was crap, anyway after giving birth (in a very drugged voice) pleaded with the midwife to help me latch on and sure enough she did, when I was in the ward afterwards, I kept ringing my bell to get help, I think they got pissed off with in the end but I have successfully BF for 6 months....I think if you want to breastfeed then you can get the help you just have to ask/beg/plead for it, not good but that's what you have to do.

lucysnowe · 15/09/2010 21:47

Totoro I do sympathise, I had major major major problems with latching and gave up in the end. It is a bloody nightmare. I'm fine now but know that if I get pg again the old stress is going to come back. Listen get the support if you want but remember that lots of people even when they bf perfectly pretty much give up when they have another 3 to look after. Take care!

FortunateHamster · 15/09/2010 21:50

Just want to add that I am breastfeeding and have never had a gush of milk, just a few drops appear when I squeeze, but I have a ten-week old who's happy and healthy, so please don't take that as a sign of it not working. That's kind of why I think there needs to be more info out there, so you don't think things like that.

I was 'lucky' in that by having a c-section, I had to stay in hospital for three days, and during that time I made the most of asking the midwives to help with a lot of my feeds and I feel it really did give me a head start. I think a lot of people who are only in hospital for a short time end up back at home without much support at all sometimes.

montoyadiary · 15/09/2010 22:28

Absolutely agree that it's your choice - you don't need to justify your decision to anyone!

My experience is that breastfeeding is not an intuitive thing - you AND the baby need to learn how to do it.

I've had three and have found getting feeding started each time difficult (including cracked nipples & mastitis). Once past the initial stage though it got easier and easier - i carried on to just over a year with them and it was a pleasure (until they got teeth top and bottom .)

Third time round I used the midwifes at the hospital from the very first feed to help with latching on - the most helpful advice I had was 'tummy to mummy nose to nipple'

The NCT have breastfeeding counsellors, available either over the phone or in person - if you're considering whether to try again perhaps have a chat with them?

BTW, IMO you did not fail to feed your previous babies - the only failure was the total lack of support you received.

yosushi · 15/09/2010 22:39

Totoro - I never ever have leaked - no matter how many months I have breastfed.

What I found really helpful was a BF clinic - without this it would have been a nightmare.

Oh and cracked nipples and mastitis are not fun.

But I really think if you really are determined and you read some books then you can do it.

Good luck with the pregnancy and with whatever you choose.

jemjabella · 16/09/2010 08:33

Hope you're feeling better today TotorosOcarina - been a lot of lovely support on this thread :)

Just wanted to add that the LLL aren't posh. They let me come to their groups and I'm a proper working class scrubber

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