Not after a fight - just want to know some honest things about breastfeeding

[Moomin]

Some questions for successful and not-so-successful breastfeeders (I fall into 2nd category with dd1 and am 8m pg now) :
How long did it take you to 'get the hang of it'?
How much or little did you persevere if it was hard?
How much/little did it feel like an extension of pregnancy - I guess what I mean by this is how much did it restrict you? [Please don't jump on me for that one; I'd like honest answers about how it affected your day-to-day life/routine(s)]
How enjoyable was it (if at all) and when did it become enjoyable?
Thanks in advance for anyone replying

It was a nightmare at first! Much crying in the hospital as midwife after midwife tried to get me to learn how to latch on. DS didn't want to feed for the first 36 hours so we ended up handexpressing and feeding him by syringe. Then, on his third night, he wanted to feed all night. Apparently this is really common... More tears! By the time I left hospital after three nights we'd just about got the hang of it but genuinely believe that if I hadn't had midwives' support, I'd have jacked it in.

When we got home it was, oddly enough, much easier. A nursing pillow (the round snake ones) made positioning a doddle. Nipples would hurt like mad at first for about the first four weeks. DS not great at emptying breast completely so had to massage out lumps on regular basis. But after six weeks, no problem. He became expert at draining and I was much better at getting him on. Now, at 10 weeks, he can strip a breast in 10 minutes flat. Makes night-feeds v. short indeed!

Absolutely no restrictions at all, as long as you're not too bothered about where you breastfeed and don't mind having to be no more than 2 hours or so away from him. He's still cluster-feeding in the evenings and while it can be a bit of a pain having to run to the loo, and not having time out to do anything that last more than 10 minutes, it's really nice time with him. Plus, I get to be waited on hand and foot for a couple of hours. Think I'll really miss that when he stops the cluster feeding.

As for enjoyment, well it took me a few days. But now I really enjoy it. And what helped me through those first days/weeks, is the fact that I was never able to see how bottles could be more convenient, especially for night-feeds. Even more so come the winter months when a trek down to the kitchen for a bottle would be Artic! Far better to just whip him out of his cot, plug him on and put him back after ten mins - all with eyes half-shut!

All in all, it's tough going at first, and there are nights when DS wants to be fed hourly, which are tough becuase you're all but on your own for those. And it's a little odd whipping out a discreet breast in front of the father-in-law. But it really is worth it and I'd recommend it to anyone.

Hi, Moomin,

I was in second category with dd (briefly, she was pre-term, never got her to latch on, didn't get help from bf counsellor - she was on holiday , was v upset for ages) so was v apprehensive when pg with ds. He is very nearly one and my answers to your (excellent) questions are:

unlike dd, ds was full-term and latched on easily (though he didn't want to straight after delivery, which really freaked me out as I thought it would be like dd all over again). He latched on after we'd both slept for four hours (had him in bed with me in hospital). It probably took us 8 weeks-ish to really get "good" at it.

I did persevere as both my nipples were cracked for 9 weeks (OW!), Used Lanisoh and walked round topless. Also, got blocked ducts a few times but managed to clear them.

Interesting question - I suppose it felt like an extension of pregnancy for the first six, seven months, really, whilst he was totally dependent in me for his nutrition. But I found it MUCH easier than bottlefeeding, MUCH easier, especially at night. Actually, I got my first period yesterday and have been feeling that it is kind of the end of my post-natal phase...

I LOVE it. Am still feeding ds whenever he wants and will do till he decides to stop (hopefully). It was enjoyable from the first time he latched on (though painful) but it became EASY and enjoyable from when my nipples healed!

hth - good luck with everything

obviously, I only walked round topless in the comfort of my own home

no time at all .. both children latched on in delivery suite

With first it hurt for about a month but manageable pain that if I counted slowly to ten would dissipate

I didn't feel restricted I felt lucky and warm and like a mother .. the restriction on my life comes with the buggies and paraphenalia .. I was fine bf in public

I liked it much more with DD (went to nearly eleven months) than with DS (to 4 months)

they are honest answers for me

QoQ: the leaky breasts thing -- that really is only a "very short period of our life" for most of us, i don't think it's an unfair thing to say at all.

Things that I think could have bothered me if I hadn't been completely happy with what I was doing:

I leaked the entire time but I just used breast pad

restricted by clothes

DH couldn't do night feeds

1 Three/four wks before I was really comfortable.

2 With later pg's was absolutely determined to persevere, come hell or high water, after giving up at 3wks with my first.

3 Once established it didn't restrict me at all. One of the joys of bfing for me was to be able to go out at a moment's notice and not having to worry about getting back in time.

4 It was always enjoyable, right from the start, but only when it wasn't hurting! As I got the hang of it it became more and more enjoyable. There's something so satisfying for me to look at my baby and think 'All my own work' (Dh maybe had a teeny little bit of input right at the start. )

I really struggled with bfing so it's one of the things in my life that I look back at as a big achievement. And I know dh is proud of it, he's always been behind me 200% of the way.

1. After a complicated beginning involving jaundice and supplementing, took ds 3 1/2 weeks (and lots of MN support for me ) before he stopped refusing the breast. Since then it's been absolutely wonderful and worth all the stress and expressing at the beginning
2. See above.
3. Of course, I was very restricted while we were having our troubles, but since then it's been soooo easy - I just pop him on the breast wherever I am.
4. See above.

I gave up after 5 weeks as couldn't stand the pain and bleeding nipples any longer. Midwife assured me they would heal by using kamillosan and nipple shields etc but they never did so gave up

DS took about 8-10wks to get the hang of it but I did have a breast abcess when he was 3wks so that set us back!!!By 4 months we were both experts!He is now 9 months and going strong. We both love it and if you can persevere it is soooooooo worth it Trust me! It does affect your day to day life but when does a baby not? But it affects it in a good way, I think anyway, and not to the extent that u cant do anything! I will feed DS anywhere so going out is not a problem and sooo much easier that bottles! Breast feeding is such a special thing. I have had great support from my DP, HV and all my family but I know some ppl dont have much support which makes it hard.I think alot of support is needed when there are so many emotions involved.My MIL has given no support wot so ever, totally against it!I think breast feeding must be the best and most enjoyable thing I have ever done and probably will ever do.I look foward to doing it all over again and Ive not finished feeding this one yet!
Good luck I really hope it works for you

I was a bit too blase with no2 - thought I knew exactly how to breastfeed and forgot that the last time I breastfed a baby it was a hulking great year-old child who could latch himself on and leave me with both hands free! So I was lazy and inaccurate with positioning and ended up in agony. However, a visit to the hospital breastfeeding clinic and to the GP (got antibiotics in case of skin infection on the nipple) I started to get better fast.
I was very determined to breastfeed. I just know so much about the benefits I felt this was something I simply had to do for dd regardless of my discomfort, esp as it was clear I had tons of milk. It's not restricting IMO - you can go anywhere and do it, and you don't have to remember bottles or faff with sterilising etc. Yes, you do have to have the baby with you most of the time but I really loved that. I don't sit there swooning with pleasure every breastfeed, but I feel very happy that my daughter was fed by my body, and I feel proud and pleased. And I like the intimacy of it a lot. Yes, sometimes I wish someone else could feed her, but not enough to feel remotely motivated to get her on bottles. She is my last child and I think this made breastfeeding even more important for me.

Message withdrawn

Oh, I have a drink! And I don't leak, well hardly at all. For me it's totally worth it. It's lovely, in fact, and the pain didn't last long at all. I had PP too and a long stay in hospital and my milk didn't come in much for five days. This time I had a section and was home in two days and it was so much nicer. But make sure you can get help with breastfeeding. A small change in positioning made a world of difference for me.

Cod, my dh would divorce me!

1. Took about six weeks to be reliably good at it (ie latching without massive fannying about, etc) although it did get progressively easier over those six weeks.

2. I really wanted to breastfeed, both for him and for me. So I was willing to put up with anything (I didn't have the probs some women have, just a blocked duct and very sore nipples for a few weeks).

3. I don't really fund pregnancy restricting (except not being able to do complicated shoes up ), but then I'm not an abseiler by nature! I had no problems feeding him in public and I suppose the only thing I'd possibly have changed was for DH to have given him EBM for one feed a night when he was a couple of months old, so I could get a bit more sleep.

The only thing that was a bit restricting was when I went back to work when he was 6mo and I expressed for him. I worked 18 hours initially, over two days and used to leave 20oz EBM and feed him morning and night - which was very tiring, but I did it because I'm very stubborn.

4. I enjoyed it - I stopped about ten days ago (DS is 17mo and self-weaned). I clearly recall looking at him when he was about three months old, feeding in the night and not wanting to settle back to sleep. I felt myself getting annoyed because I wanted to go to sleep, then thought "He will be a hulking great man with hairy legs and stubble in the blink of an eye - I want to enjoy this moment with my soft little baby boy. He'll sleep through one day"

Moomin, give it a go, and make sure you get good support. If you don't like it, you won't look back on it in the future and wonder what if if you know you've given it your best shot. Good luck!

Great questions, I would have loved to read a thread like this when I was pregnant with DS2 as I struggled with bfing DS1.

With DS1 I lasted 12 weeks and couldn't wait to stop. I found it difficult, painful and embarrassing. This time round it's been much better (DS2 is now 13 weeks).

It took me about 3 weeks to get the hang of it this time, or rather, for it to stop hurting (had a headache from gritting my teeth with the pain) and for the milk flow to settle down. Now I don't leak or have to worry about breastpads etc.

It isn't restrictive at all, completely the opposite in fact, it's liberating not having to worry about sterilising, taking the right number of bottles with me when we go out etc. Even with a toddler to look after it works out ok as you do still have one hand free when bfing (with bottle feeding I could only ever do it with two hands). I've not had to amend my diet much and decided to stop stressing about the odd glass of wine or two after reading advice on here from Mears and Tiktok. Night feeds are quick too, and if I do want to go out DH gives DS2 a bottle of expressed milk or formula if I don't have time to express.

Not sure enjoyable is the right word but in the last month I've started to appreciate the benefits so much more. I'm definitely very proud of myself for sticking with it. I look at DS2 and think 'all my own work' (was thinking exactly that today, then I read your post Suedonim) and I love his milk-drunk face after a good feed. I'm actually worried about having to stop whereas before I couldn't wait.

The negatives are:

Bigger boobs so none of my old clothes fit.
Can't shift the last chunk of baby weight.
Constant hunger, particularly in the first 6-8 weeks.
Having to do all the night feeds.

Good luck with everything, hope the birth goes well.

Hi moomin, good luck with your new babe

1. Took me about 2 weeks - lots of pain at first, nipple shields saved me
2. I was determined - didn't want to sterilise bottles/make feeds/pack bags. Carried on til 13 months.
3. I hadn't realised how much time it would take. DS fed every 2 hrs for almost an hour. Could write a good PhD on Cagney & Lacey.
4. I liked the freedom of going out without bottles. had to fly a lot when he was young & bf was easy & portable. I enjoyed the cuddles & the chance to sit down!

Good luck with whatever you do, watch out for the 3am Cagney & lacey repeats

LOL EM! I got quite into Chicago Hope by watching repeats while bfeeding!

Watched tons of TV with ds, but with dd I don't have time. I breastfeed while playing animal dominoes with ds, or at a cafe or in the park... it's very different second time around, I think.

with ds2 the first two weeks were nightmarish, peaking at about day fivish.
was brilliant as feeding time became me time which i would spend on the interent, reading a book, atching telly. chatting on the phone. and no bottle s to faff around with.
was difficult in that he was tied to me. but considering how short a period of your life it actually is, wasnt really a problem. both the younger two stopped breastfeeding at eight monthsish.
2nd time, first three weeks wer very hard. then easy.

Not long to get the hang of it - 2/3 weeks.
It was hard actually, and quite painful to start with, sore nipples etc. Also lots of contradictory advice. And at the beginning it felt a bit odd/strange. In the end I just threw away the books (literally) and listened to my mum and my baby and just went with the flow.

Difficult to answer whether it felt like an extension of pregnancy because an extension of pregnancy is not a negative idea for me, I love being pregnant. But bf doesn't feel the same as pregnancy. I suppose I didn't feel restricted in my movements, I wouldn't have wanted to leave her any more than I did IYSWIM although at the beginning it would have been nice not to get up for every night feed. Once my boobs had settled down a bit then I used to express and sleep a little more.

Enjoyable doesn't begin to express it. It is the most wonderful feeling. I think we shouldn't be afraid to say that, actually. We hear a lot about how "good" it is for babies etc etc but not enough about how bloody lovely and incredibly convenient bf is if you can get it established.

Anyway, still bfing 2.5 years later and we both love it.

oh yeah, just reading some of these posts reminded me - watched loads of tv. get yourself loads of channels. I must have watched A Knight's Tale 50 times...

DS1 - it took about 2 months to stop being painful. I asked everyone I could think of why it was still hurting, and the most persuasive answer I got was that it was because I am very fair skinned.

DS2 - hurt the whole 6 months I fed him as I had thrush in my milk ducts which I couldn't shift. I thought I was being such a great mother by sticking at it but I was horrible to poor DS1 as I was in such pain

DD (7 weeks old) - stopped being painful after about a week, slight blip when I got mastitis but now it's going very well. I have a painful "let down" this time round which is a bit of a nuisance.

For me it feels like a gentle way of getting used to not being pregnant: you maintain that very intimate physical link with your baby.

With DS1 and DS2 it really helped me lose weight. Remains to be seen with DD!

I am really disorganised and have a grotty kitchen with no room for a sterilizer! I preferred being able to feed whenever, wherever rather than have to bring bottles out with me. If you don't mind feeding in public and you are likely to be within easy reach of somewhere you can sit down and feed, I think breastfeeding is really convenient.

It makes you sit down, and may give you the only sitting-down time you get all day.

My DH wouldn't do night feeds if I was bottle feeding so it probably gets me some extra sleep (not having to prepare a bottle).

Disadvantages:
Massive boobs so I look like a partially-deflated balloon.

I am rubbish at expressing (and can't find the breast pump!) so I can't leave her. Doesn't bother me at all at the moment but may do later.

I have a bigger appetite than when pregnant so really hope the bfeeding is burning it all off!

Enjoy your new baby when he/she arrives