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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

BF beyond a year - your TOP TIPS

63 replies

blinder · 07/09/2010 23:28

Well it's dd's 1st birthday on Saturday and she shows NO signs of giving up the boob. So it looks like we'll be doing 'extended' feeding.

What do I need to know? What issues am I likely to face? Will I ever be able to wear a dress again? Can I still breastfeed in John Lewis restaurants without the old biddies tutting?

I'll start it off:

Tip 1: get a new bra, the one you've been wearing continuously for the past year is the new Dulux shade, 'ennui'. Get a white one quick.

Your thoughts?

OP posts:
MoonFaceMama · 09/09/2010 15:44

Lurking, pencil in hand...

Original poster
blinder · 09/09/2010 19:03

Thank you for all the great tips!

Monkeytoo miniblinder is a night feeder too. I am trying to get her to feed more in the day, but I'd love to be able to ditch my nursing bra so I might go with it and keep feeding all night. Sleep is for wimps!

Loopymumsy that's a great tip. So far I have made myself totally indispensable in the bedtime routine. Rod, back etc. Maybe I should start getting dp to take over once in a while. Did you do anything specific to reduce the nurse-to-sleep association?

Kveta Grin!

OP posts:
Original poster
blinder · 09/09/2010 19:06

Pagwatch and SPB I'm glad I'm not walking into a lion's den. Lots of my peers are bfing in secret after one so I think that has made me more self-conscious than I need to be.

OP posts:
theidsalright · 09/09/2010 20:31

My tip is try the manners stuff (on kellymom) but don't be very upset when you are not firm and consistent enoughwhen they don't work very well Confused

I also agree with the choosing a suitable work. DS (17 months) says "muck/mulk" very assertively and with a cheeky smile now (usually with one hand down my tope...see above...)I'm pleased that it's appropriate and that my saying it every time I fed him from when he was about 10 months has finally paid off Smile

Oh and if he asks I will offer, no matter where we are and have never ever had any comments, despite him having TEETH and SHOES (don't ask!).

spiderlight · 09/09/2010 22:25

My DS is 3.6 and still a total boob-monster, and I've never had any negative comments (apart from my very straight-laced 86-year-old great aunt exclaiming 'Oooh - bitty!' and revealing herself to be a secret Little Britain fan :o ). I do try to encourage him to feed only in private now, partly because I don't want him teased and partly because he's too blooming big to feed comfortably anywhere but the sofa, but we've had a couple of very public feeds lately (like when he got hit by a swing in a packed playground on bank holiday Monday!) and I've not noticed so much as a funny look. I definitely agree with the importance of nursing manners though - DS had a big pinching/mole-twiddling phase and it was no fun at all. 'Don't offer, don't refuse' has its limits - if I never refused he'd treat me like a snack machine! I think you just have to take it a day at a time. I never, ever thought we'd still be going at 3.6, bur now I'm just vaguely hoping he'll have stopped by the time he starts school! Hmm

Notquitegrownup · 09/09/2010 22:39

Another accidental extended feeder here. I got to 3 and 3.5 yrs with my two. (I'm sure I was also taught 'don't offer, don't refuse' as a feeding technique rather than weaning technique, but wished I had asked the questions you are asking. I would have had a few more boundaries, based on keeping me comfortable, as well as my milk monsters happy!)

You asked earlier about biting. It shouldn't be a huge problem for a baby who loves his milk, as to latch on properly the tongue has to cover the bottom teeth. I was only bitten a couple of times, mostly when they were teething, and were testing out ways of easing the pain for themselves. My technique was to remove offending biter from the boob and plonk him nearby on the floor nearby, usually whilst saying "Aaaagggghhhh!" (I was bitten once when, most unusually, I had refused the boob for a few minutes, whilst on the phone. When I finally got ready to latch him on, DS1, then 14 monthsish, scrunched down on my nipple, whilst watching me carefully to see what I did. I nearly went through the ceiling!) I wasn't cross, but put him down to make it clear that that wasn't what my boobs were for. Picking him up ten seconds or so later, having regained some composure, he latched on like an angel . . .(Err - if angels latch on, that is. )

Best of luck and enjoy . . . .

Original poster
blinder · 09/09/2010 23:07

I am secretly thrilled at the prospect of still feeding in two years time. I thought it would be finished with by now and I was already grieving the end of breastfeeding months ago. You guys are giving me permission to feed for as long as miniblinder and I want to.

I am determined to follow all your advice on manners.

Re not offering or refusing, I am so disorganised that I only offer when I remember. Therefore somedays she feeds loads and others not so much. I haven't ever refused yet but then she has only just learnt to properly ask me.

This feels like a great stage!

OP posts:
jemjabella · 10/09/2010 08:36

See [http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning_techniques.html#dontoffer]]

jemjabella · 10/09/2010 08:37

Or ques.html#dontoffer even.

Original poster
blinder · 10/09/2010 12:48

Jemjabella do you mean this?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2010 12:53

spidelight, your DS must be about the same age as mine, and I'm having the same concerns about teasing when he starts school (or in fact at nursery). OTOH I don't want to tell him not to talk about it, as I don't want him to feel uncomfortable or ashamed about it. We have a year to do something!!

camflower · 10/09/2010 19:59

jemjabella i have a v fidgety 1 year old who did all the hair pulling, pinching, twisting, fiddling, flicking, lip-grabbing, nose-pulling, breast-punching ... then suddenly one day that all turned into nipple twiddling - drives me NUTS!!!! can't remember how long it's been going on but probably some time around the 10-month mark. there was a phase where he would laugh at my nipple too!

Original poster
blinder · 10/09/2010 20:01

You have a year to campaign for mandatory breastfeeding till 4 years of age SPB. Voilà! No problem!

(ps this is a joke)

OP posts:
Original poster
blinder · 10/09/2010 20:04

I always wear a bra for feeds now. Hoping to avoid the nipple twiddles.

However, dd loves to slap my breast hard, and then my belly, into which she then buries her face, laughing. Hilarious, apparently.

OP posts:
jemjabella · 11/09/2010 17:11

blinder - yes, seemed to be having a crap linking day Blush

jamaisjedors · 11/09/2010 17:19

I agree with others: don't be afraid to "impose" limits.

I have "ended up" extended bf DS2 (3.9) after bf DS1 for "just" a year.

I nightweaned DS2 at around 14 months and have gone away several times (twice for a week), been back to work since he was 3.5 mths, but he is still bf every few days.

I am still waiting for him to lose interest, but have actively discouraged/distracted from feeding in public for a long time now.

Contrary to what a lot of people might think, you don't need to be a martyr to extended bf Smile.

Babieseverywhere · 11/09/2010 18:27

spiderlight and StealthPolarBear I wouldn't worry about your older nurselings starting nursery/school.

I did worry a lot last year about this but I have found that my 4 year old DD never mentioned nursing to anyone at nursery last year and I doubt will ever raise the subject now she is at reception either.

I guess it doesn't occur to her to discuss such a mundane part of her life when there are far more exciting things to say and do at school, just like she doesn't discuss teeth brushing or bathing with her school friends either Grin

rubyslippers · 11/09/2010 18:36

This thread is lovely

Astill feeding DD and she is heading for a year old

I am enjoying it a lot and have no intentions of stopping

Howver, other people are intrigued/surprised that i am feeding

Now DD has teeth, a friend said that "you'll be stopping now ...."

So it is more how do i respond to these comments?

elvislives · 11/09/2010 18:50

My DD is 3.6 and would feed all day if I let her. Now she asks for "two please" Grin

She is very wriggly and likes to fiddle but at least at this age can understand "stop that or I'm putting it away".

I never set out to BF for this long..

dawntigga · 11/09/2010 19:22

Marking place to come back and read when it's not The Cubs bed time.

VInterestedTiggaxx

jemjabella · 11/09/2010 20:58

Nobody has asked me about stopping yet but we're only at 10mo. I can't wait to try the 'oh, possibly when she goes off to uni' line.

Original poster
blinder · 11/09/2010 21:18

Well we had her first birthday party at our house today. Lots of friends from a breastfeeding support group were there. I think I am now the only one still nursing.

I partly wonder how on earth they stopped. Dd has 5 or more feeds a day. She would have a total paddy if I refused the night time ones I think.

Jamaisjedors interesting that you only nurse every few days. I am afraid I'll dry up if she sleeps through! Maybe that's to do with being 'established' lactators?

I love the word lactation. Rubyslippers just tell them you haven't finished lactating yet. That should shut them up.

OP posts:
MrsLionHeart · 11/09/2010 21:36

I'm still feeding DS who will be 15 months in a couple days. My top tip - night wean as soon as possible! I don't have great advice on how to do this, as we tried for months before it magically succeeded shortly after his first birthday. Not that he didn't still wake for feeds, but we could actually get him to go back to sleep without more than 5 minutes of complaining (he is strong-willed and could go on for a very long time, longer than I was willing to deal with). Within one month's time he was able to sleep fairly solidly from 7 pm until around 4 am, at which point I usually do give in and feed him, which gets him through to the rest of night until morning.

Night weaning has changed my life!

I rarely offered the breast, but my little guy never showed any signs loosing interest and was still feeding at least 5 times a day until recently. (I am now actively but gently working on weaning onto goat's milk as am pregnant and my supply is diminishing).

rubyslippers · 12/09/2010 07:38
Grin

I night weaned DD at 6.5 months but very gently as I was going back to work

Have only stopped the 10 pm feed

My supply is grand - when I am around more at weekends she feeds more, and when i am work she doesn't and my supply is fine

StrawberrySam · 12/09/2010 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.