Breastfeeding beyond 12 months, debate but not a fight!

[Demented]

I am truely interested to hear different opinions about this after the matter was raised on another thread.

I am still feeding my DS2 who is 14 months and have no fixed time to finish so obviously you can see which side of the fence I am on but I am genuinely interested in hearing why some feel it is not appropriate after 12 months. BTW I still feed in public and don't see that ending until DS2 is down to one feed a day.

still feeding ds aged 16m but feel a bit odd doing it in public for reasons I can't quite explain (started a recent thread on this called "breastfeeding an older baby in public" ). Not that I often have occasion to feed him in public.
I don't get out much.

still feeding ds aged 16m but feel a bit odd doing it in public for reasons I can't quite explain (started a recent thread on this called "breastfeeding an older baby in public" ). Not that I often have occasion to feed him in public.
I don't get out much.

Jasper - you beat me you lucky thing. Go and give some words of comfort to wobblymum on the 'I want to give up thread'. You have been in her shoes.

I fed ds for 10 months, but as he couldn't bf (cleft lip and palate) I was having to express and it was b**y hard work.

I fed dd for 16 months. I loved feeding her and never had any problems feeding her in public. I was really proud to still be doing it - I don't know anyone else who has fed for that long. I was shocked by the amount of people who tried to convince me to stop!

I stopped at that point because I just got to the point where I felt I needed to reclaim my body a little bit. If (when) I have more babies I will try to bf even longer.

Mears - thanks for campaigning for me!! Not sure I deserve it though - keep looking longingly at the box of formula and wishing I could produce powdered breast milk!!!

I'm still feeding dd at 18 months, morning and evening only, and not in public any more, not due to any feelings of discomfort, but because I'm always at home at those times!

I feel that it's about time to be winding down, but am not sure how...dd is so keen on her milk and snuggle that I would feel a complete b*tch saying no to her. I'd probably get a good kicking from her as well.Toddlers....

Sorry, demented, absolutely nothing to do with your point, just something I was pondering on the way to work today.

To get back to the topic, I think that people start to feel uncomfortable feeding an older baby when they become less babylike. Once they can drink from a cup, eat a piece of bread and run around they seem less dependent, I suppose.Maybe it's also the way that they toddle up, lift up your shirt, tug at your bra and say "drink"

I dont care if people do it and its nothing to do with appropriate - i just think that I wouldnt see the need if they can eat and drink themselves.

MInd you lets wait and see when I stop!

I was just thinking about a discussion I had with my Mum the other day we were talking about a friend of mine who has a baby the same age as my DS2 (two days older I think), I said something about her still b/feeding and my Mum said "oh no I don't think so" and I said "well that's the impression I got the last time I spoke to her" and my Mum said "well she (friend's baby) is running about now, wearing shoes and everything she is surely not still feeding her". I just found this really interesting, obviously I don't know how I will feel until my DS2 is running around wearing shoes as well, maybe I'll have a sudden change of heart.

My reasons for continuing are DS2 won't drink any breastmilk substitute, I'm a SAHM with close to no social life so we are rarely apart, I know he is still getting health benefits and the health benefits (protection against cancers etc) are kicking in for me now, whenever I think about giving up it seems too much like hard work and I am also scared that we will lose a very special part of our relationship. I struggled to feed DS1 so that may have something to do with it also. I think the public feeds will stop soon for us, DS2 is capable of having a drink in a cup (water or juice) and a snack but when you are out shopping and he is screaming for a feed it just seems easier to go to a cafe and get on with it as I would imagine he would be less than impressed with anything else. Thinking about it now the shoes thing probably will make a difference in public.

I'm a bit like you Tissy, I'm not sure how we will give up either, we're not ready yet but I know the time will come.

The whole subject just interests me as I believe there is evidence to prove that we were designed to feed our babies for 3 to 5 years and yet I am finding myself that since my DS2 has turned a year attitude around me are changing, almost like someone is saying 'that's enough now, you've done a great job, proven a point etc, he can have cows milk now, you don't need to sterilise so you had better stop'.

I don't think b/f an older baby is inappropriate as such, but I know I wanted to reclaim my indipendence from dd at some point, and somehow I just didn't feel confortable at the idea of dd being able to ask for milk or to ocme and ge it by herself!

I'm not even sure about the nutritional value, you read contrasting opinions, and anyway, there's so little left by that time I don't think it makes a huge difference.

I do believ it's more an emotional issue it's a very personal and exclusive way for mum and baby to be together, but for it was a bit too exclusive. Sometimes I wonder if some mothers (this is not intended for anyone here!!!!) find it difficul to let go themeselves as this is like the last link to babyhood...(just a thought)

I must admit, because I would do it it myself, I don't feel confortable seeing older toddlers breastfeed, but I don't think it's a question of appropriateness, if you're confortable do it, but I suppose the attitude of pother people can amke you feel less confortable. It's a matter of personal choice in the end.

Message withdrawn

It seems to me that 'feeding', breast or bottle, is very much a baby thing, and once the baby is a toddler, then its a bit confusing to us to continue baby things. Some people think it's shocking when you see a toddler being buggied around a shop with a bottle in its mouth.

Breastfeeding really is a very intimate thing, but I feel I get more interaction and bonding with my children when bottlefeeding, as they made/make much more eye-contact then. My dd is 7m old and I haven't set a cut-off date for stopping breastfeeding, but I know I'd like to continue as long as it feels right. On the other hand, I'm begining to feel very frustrated at the blubbery state of my body and dh feels very pushed away by what he sees as dd and my special intimacy.

boyandgirl, neither breastfeeding nor stopping breastfeeding made any difference to my blubberiness. I didn't lose any when I was feeding and I didn't lose any when I stopped, either, so don't hold out too much hope! Now I've rejoined weightwatchers and hope that I will have the willpower to make a difference.

I b/f until around 14months, but also wanted to be able to go out in the evening and not have to be home for the bedtime feed etc. Ds didn't seem to notice by that point either. I'm extremely glad I b/fed, don't think it's inappropriate or anything to feed longer (close friends have fed until 2) but it didn't feel necessary for me, and yes, I know there is so much public condemnation of extended breastfeeding, I would have felt increasingly uncomfortable in public (which is a shame, I think).

My almost 14 month old is still having his night-time feed and occassionally has a daytime feed if I am at home and it fits in with his morning nap.

He had an awful time last week with new teeth and couldn't settle in his buggy for his normal sleep while we were out and about. So went into local cafe with the intention of feeding him while having a coffee. The cafe was really busy, and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt awful, he was crying but drank coffee quickly and legged it home to do it in private (about 2 minutes away). It is the first time this has happened to me in a total of 24 months feeding ds1 and ds2! I don't know why i couldn't bring myself to do it - he is now quite big and throws his legs around while feeding and trys to grab my neck/shoulders and cleavage so not very discrete. I couldn't position myself to turn my back to people, and I couldn't bring myself to feed in their toilet. Once we were home, we had a lovely relaxed feed and he went on to sleep for a couple of hours.

I have carried on his night-time feed longer than I expected because it is a perfect wind-down after his day and he mostly falls into a deep sleep which carries him through to morning.

My DS is 7mths and people are starting to ask me when I am going to give up breastfeeding (I think in Germany it is not as popular espec after 6mths). I can't think of a good reason to and I often reply maybe after 12mths (my dh was shocked the first time he heard me say this - probably worried about the frequency of sex). I then sat down to read my weaning book by GF only to find that she pretty much says that you should give up between 6 and 9mths. I can't think why I would go from breastfeeding to mixing formula and giving it in a 'beaker' and she doesn't really make a good case. She says if they are still having a bottle (probably means to imply breastfeeding too) after 12mths then they will probably drink too much milk and not take enough solids. I must say I am a bit disappointed with GF for not discussing the topic better and exploring different options. Can anyone recommend another weaning book that is more sympathetic to longer term bfing?

AussieSim my baby is 17m , still breastfed and people have stopped asking!
Current World Health Organisation recommendations are: fully breastfeeding for sixmonths before introducing solids, then still breastfeeding (in addition to normal foods) for two years or more.
It came as a revelation to me that there is no need for a baby EVER to drink formula . Formula manufacturers apparently make most money out of breastfeeding mums who automatically assume you go from breastmilk onto "follow on" formula.
Keep breastfeeding that babe of yours!

AussieSim: Gina Ford surely does not say you should give up breastfeeding between 6 & 9 months, does she? I mean, she isn't anti-breastfeeding is she? I'd love to hear the direct quotes!

Thanks Jasper - I will.

Zebra
I don't think that GF is anti-breast feeding - but she does have very strong views on how long (and how much) it should go on for. The quotes below show that GF advises that by 9mth the only BF should be the bedtime one and by 12mths none.

'When protein is well established at lunchtime, the milk feed should be replace with a drink of water or well-diluted juice - try to encourage him to drink this from a beaker. Once he is happy to do this, introduce a beaker for his 2.30pm feed. By eight months, try to get him to take at least some of his breakfast milk from a beaker.

By the end of nine months, try to encourage your baby to drink all of his breakfast milk from a beaker. Apart from his bedtime milk feed all other milk feeds and drinks should ideally be given from a beaker.' p52

'During the thrid stage of weaning (9 - 12mths) it is important that you encourage your baby to take all his milk from a beaker.' p91

Eventually, I wanted the freedom from feeding DS. I enjoyed it but felt we had come to a natural end by 11 months. I continued until he was 1 but I gave him a couple of drinks of cows milk from a beaker during the day. This was because I am pregnant and slim and I didn't feel there was much there anymore. Plus it wasn't great heaving while he was slurping away first thing in the morning.

He got so fidgety I didn't know how much he was getting. He loves his beaker of milk and often has a cuddle with his dad while he drinks it. Nice for DH after all this time of milk time being so exclusive.

He never had formula or even EBM from a bottle. That was my aim so I'm pleased I did that but I'm not sure I would have felt comfortable feeding him in public. He's big now and wriggly and I think I feel it's a 'baby thing'. Good luck to those who do - it's just not for me.

Do you think GF is being supported by the formula companies? Just a cynical thought. Also, as a maternity nurse it means she can boot the nursing mother out the door for good and have the baby all to herself

If you look at the last section of TCLBB, where she gives day menus for each weaned age group, GF gives 'Breast feed or a drink of formula milk from a cup' 2-3 times a day right up to 12m (the end of the book). When she talks about cups I think that is aimed at any use of a bottle, so if you are giving ebm from a bottle, I presume she would aslo give that from a cup!

There are some very good 'selfish' reasons to continue bfing as long as you like, see this thread . Not to mention the benefits for the baby continue and increase. Even though the baby is on solids, their digestive system is not yet fully mature, nor are their kidneys or liver, so why challenge them unnecessarily? I'm also being asked, now that dd is well onto solids, when I'll give up bfing, and more and more I don't bother trying to answer in detail, I just say 'why should I?' If you are happy bfing, then there's far more reason to have to justify going over to bottles than to have to justify continuing on the breast.

I think AussieSim's quotes just go to show how "One-size fits all" is the GF routine; if she can't be bothered to proofread it to tailor equally to both breastfeeding & bottlefeeding mothers.

Well, this is my take on the matter ... and my personal experience is not much to go on as I gave up bfing ds at 8 weeks (not willingly) ...
I hope to breastfeed my next baby for at least 6 months and anything above that is a bonus.
This is the way I see feeding past 12 months ...
From 12 months my DS only drank milk (from a bottle) in the morning and in the evening ... if he was thirsty in the daytime he got water or juice. He got a very healthy diet from the food he at and he had lots of calcium from things like cheese and yoghurt and green vegetables. He was and is a very healthy child who has good teeth. My DS only just gave up his bedtime bottle and he is 3. So I kind of feel that if I am still breastfeeding this next one at 12 months then I don't see why I would have to stop the bedtime feed .......
BUT I personally (please don't all hate me for saying this) don't see why a toddler would need milk (breast or bottle) as a drink during the day time ... especially if they have a healthy diet ... if they are thirsty what is wrong with water? If we lived in a third world country and we only had one meal of a staple food once a day then I can definitely see why breastfeeding a child until 5 years old would benefit them healthwise ...
I definitely don't find it offensive or inappropriate when I see someone breastfeeding an older baby in public ... I just don't think I would do it as I don't see why it is necessary as a drink during the day .....

Maybe there's a difference between "need" and "benefit". Toddlers may not "need" breastmilk after 12 months, but they still "benefit" greatly from it.

Ghosty, I think you will find that if you do feed your baby past 12 months, they will soon let you know if they want a feed during the day! At this age, it is very much a comfort thing, if they are tired/feeling ill/in pain. Think "human dummy" - don't know if your DS had a dummy, but the level of attachment to the breast is probably similar. Personally, if I had to do it again, I would try to give up before my baby was old enough to ask for it, because it is so much harder to be firm when they start tugging at your top, grabbing your nipples, and yelping "Feed! Feed!".

Really interesting to hear people's different experiences ... I'm still bfing my 13 month old dd. She gets four feeds a day, and I'm beginning to get the impression that that's rather a lot, but she eats three good meals as well, so it doesn't appear to affect her appetite. Of course because I'm bfing I have little idea how much she gets at each feed, but she goes to nursery three days a week and I send in a 6oz bottle in the morning and 3oz in the afternoon (on top of her morning and evening feeds from me).

Yesterday I found out I may have to work full time from October and am going through agonies at the thought of a) abandoning dd for so many days and b) having to give up the breastfeeding. But I'm rather reassured from comments here that I could just feed her morning and evening and that may be enough milk? Though the nursery seem to think that most babies that age still get milk during the day, so maybe I'll provide her with some cows / goats milk when my frozen expresed milk supply runs out.

Anyway, I intend to continue with morning and evening feeds for the foreseeable future. I too have come under some pressure to stop now dd is one (e.g mother in law!), but I'm happy to continue and am sure my milk is still good for dd.