Breastfeeding beyond 12 months, debate but not a fight!

[Demented]

I am truely interested to hear different opinions about this after the matter was raised on another thread.

I am still feeding my DS2 who is 14 months and have no fixed time to finish so obviously you can see which side of the fence I am on but I am genuinely interested in hearing why some feel it is not appropriate after 12 months. BTW I still feed in public and don't see that ending until DS2 is down to one feed a day.

Eualia, I don't think that we diagree at all on the 'comforter' thing. My only point was that while undoubtably breast is best (and I had to bottle feed) the breast as comforter cannot allow the degree of separation that comes with a child's increasing development. As children become older it is natural for them to use comforters of their own, as your daughter is using. I repeat my only point was that while breast milk is best and provides for a childs nutition and emotional security, it cannot, of itself, help the child to more independant behavior. The use of comforters by children should not automatically be seen as a form of emotional neglect, but can be a part of a child's normal development.

can't be bothered reading all this as unfortunately it seems to have degenerated into unpleasantness ! Just to add my pennyworth - am still feeding dd at 22 months and no plans to stop until she wants to really. She can go a couple of days without but now is able to ask for "m'k" so it's nice to know she really wants it. Only at night so not feeding in public any more but I'm very much not ashamed or embarassed about this so count me in if anyone's planning a mass b/f in Next any time soon

tamum - exactly! Although militant is too strong - why use a word at all? None of us here are saying that everyone should breastfeed over 12 months or even that they should breastfeed at all!

robinw comments just don't make sense - as you say tamum it is HER that is telling us what we shouldn't be doing. She hasn't told us WHY she thinks extended breastfeeding is wrong except for some vague comment about indepedence totally unbacked by any knowledge of the subject or any evidence. I can only conclude by her silence on the subject that she realises that she is wrong.

hmb - yes I see, well of course as zebra points out there is a hell of a lot that makes a child dependent or independent.

emkaren - I hope you post more often and realise that the majority of us do not need to resort to offensive comments.

Totally agree that toddlerhood, early childhood and beyond for that matter sees a normal, gradual increase in independence and an increasing repertoire of comfort strategies. Breastfeeding allows for this beautifully, as a child cannot be forced to breastfeed. Typical weaning in cultures which have no social problems with bf beyond (say) a year or so happens over quite a long time, with the gaps between breastfeeds stretching to days and even weeks, with maybe short periods of more frequent bf as the child expresses a wish for this to happen, and if it's convenient for the mother.

This is not interfering with the normal, natural process of a child's emotional and psychological development, but rather it supports it. Obviously, it's not essential for normal, natural development, but there is nothing in what we know about normal, natural development to suggest there is anything wrong with it....and mothers should be fully supported to continue to bf as long as they and their children wish. We already know that there are measurable health benefits.

Of course, if a mother thinks it's distasteful, or 'wrong' , then she probably wouldn't be doing it anyway!

Why anyone feels able to judge another mother, or her child's propensity to independence, on the choice to bf beyond a year (or not) is something I fail to understand. Live and let live

Message withdrawn

This just takes a moment but says it all...

Breastfeeding attitude

Scroll down to the item called 'How do you really feel about sustained breastfeeding?'

Just shows how some countries have a lot more open minds than we do!!! Just a thought though, in poorer areas, surely they're more likely to breastfeed for as long as physically possible because of factors such as really bad water quality etc. Where that woman was, it didn't exactly look like she'd be able to nip down the shops, buy a few bottles, some formula, a sterilising kit. Then she'd have to go home, clean up the bottles (with....?), sterilise them (how....?), and make them up. Somehow I can't see it happening! So no wonder they breast feed for so long and have high breastfeeding rates!

Wobblymum, what you say is true...up to a point. But mothers in cultures where bf for several years is normal don't think 'I will bf for X years because I cannot rely on a clean water supply'....they just do it and no one bats an eyelid. That's the reason - it's normal.

In many parts of the developing world, this normality is undermined by the activities of the baby milk manufacturers and distributors.

How bizarre I didn't realise I was doing anything controversial.

I stopped bfeeding ds1 when he was 13 months- he weaned himself off- ds2 is still bfed at 19 months. He has a feed in the morning (just to give me longer in bed I have to admit), one at nap time (if we're in) and one at bedtime. I don't feed in public now but mainly because he's too nosy.

Why do I still bfeed? Well he's unvaccinated, and I read somewhere thatfeeding until 2 gives 10 years protection against meningitis, but can't say that's the main reason. He just still so obviously likes it. If he wanted to stop before then then I would. I get to read mumsnet while I'm feeding him (feeding him now). I say "do you want booby?" he says "eh" and nods his head. I say "go the booby chair then" and he runs to the computer chair. I don't feel like I have any emotional issues. I have an older child with a messed up immune system (despite bfeeding) and if something is meant to help then I'll do it. Particularly as its hardly a chore (beats cooking dinner anyway). I can't begin to imagine why anyone else would have an opinion on it.

And now to really freak out all the anti bfeeders -a confesion. Sometimes ds2 misses a feed. If he does and I get a bit full I express it into a cup and give it to my 4 year old (often topped up with a bit of soya milk). Quite a few parents of autistic children give their kiddies colostrum (no idea whether its human or cow- but you can get it from nutricentre I believe). I've never done that - but I certainly give him my milk if I get a chance. And if I had another baby I would also give him a bit of colostrum- from a spoon/cup whatever.

Eulalia I love that postcard!! I got the caption wrong!

There's quite a lot on the web about the medicinal uses of human milk (in a cup) for sick older (weaned) children and even adults.

The colostrum sold for health reasons in wholefood shops and on the net is always cows.

I stopped breast feeding my first son when he was about (can't actually remember) ohhhh 14 months old or so. I definitely didn't do extended breastfeeding - my son didn't want it.

This weekend I gave my son a piggyback in the park - he asked for one, he was very tired and had been up late the night before. He still often comes to sit on my knee as well. He's 9 years old.

He plays out, he likes being with his friends, he is a normal happy little boy. But from time to time he still likes to be babied a little.

How much physical independence a child wants is IME not dependent on how long they were breastfed.

Thought it would be tiktok..... Does it do any good (protect against bovine disptemper or something )

My nearly two year old is a real baby. He talks brilliantly (IMO!) but doesn't feed himself well, struggles with stairs, doesn't run or jump, but loves to sit on mama's knee reading books and is a big cuddle fan. I like him. I think independence for babies is overrated. I don't 'force' him to be th way he is, he's just like that.

What a great idea jimjams - may as well use what is free

Still feeding my dd at 13 months and no intention of stopping just yet - I'd like to carry on until she weans herself. I can't believe my choice to continue feeding my daughter is anyone's business but my own, my daughter's and my partner's. But I am fully aware that other people do think it's their business - my MIL for one is mildly disapproving (though she breastfed her 3 boys till 8 months old). We saw my partner's brother, his girlfriend and their 9 month old yesterday - she is still breastfeeding and is a well-educated woman, but still felt she could confide in me about a "nightmare breastfeeding story" she'd heard, of a friend who's daughter was 2 1/2 and STILL feeding, and would come and ask for her milk. I said I thought that was great and lucky girl to be still breastfed, which caused some surprise!

If extended breastfeeders come across as being militant it's because we are so often forced to be on the defensive about what we're doing. Our society doesn't expect women to continue feeding this long. I totally respect someone's decision to stop feeding whenever they're ready, and women who can't breastfeed at all for whatever reason should also get full support - but equally I would ask that my decision to continue feeding is not met with tutting and disapproval and the assumption that I am somehow unhinged

Agree with so many of the comments here - can't ever understand why so many people have a view on something which doesn't impact them and which has no demonstrable ill effects for the mother and child concerned (after all isn't the average age for weaning globally close to 3?). Also find the arbitrary markers for 'independence' unconvincing. My DD is 21 months and still breastfed. She isn't walking but is very keen on dressing herself and is generally quite an independent soul in terms of doing things for herself.

I hate the way my extended breastfeeding has developed into something resembling a 'dirty little secret'. Mothers who choose to give up breastfeeding at 3 months or so in order to 'get my life back' have no qualms about making it public so I don't understand why those of us who have chosen a different route are made to feel we are doing something so odd.

Oh I know that my dd (6) is so independent with the outside world BECAUSE she can be a baby with her mummy (me).