low/no milk supply, please help

[PearlyDewdrop]

Hi,

Newbie here having a dreadful time. Ds was born 3 days ago and has cried endlessly since. We suffered a traumatic back to back birth, I have been awake for 6 days straight now and seem to have a terribly low supply of milk. DH has gone out and bought formula/bottle/sterilizer, he is concerned that ds is hungry.

I desperately wish to breastfeed, but it seems that I am already failing the first test of motherhood.

One would welcome any advice from those of you who have experience breastfeeding your little ones.

Thank you.

:( :( pearlydewdrop

Are the midwives supporting you here?

A baby crying endlessly for 3 days needs urgent investigation - this might be nothing to do with feeding. At 3 days most women have very little milk - you don't actually start making milk until about day 3-4 when your milk 'comes in'. Until then you produce tiny amounts of colostrum, and the baby only needs tiny amounts...your baby may well be distressed/uncomfortable but he will not be desperately hungry at three days.

Please, please ask the midwife/wives to explain this to you and your DH, and have someone check your baby out for post-birth issues (was he born with the aid of forceps/ventouse? Did he have a hard time being born?).

Keep your baby close, skin to skin, for as much of 24 hours out of 24 as possible, and get help to latch him on, or enable him to latch on himself.

Let us know how you get on...will be thinking of you.

And you are not 'failing' and feeding is not a test of motherhood :( :(

If there is a 'test', it is caring about making sure your baby is ok, and that you are succeeding in :)

pearly, i am sure you are not failing!
if you desperately want to breastfeed then you CAN!
tiktok is right that up until now your body is only producing colostrum, which comes in tiny amounts.
my milk didn't come in til day 4 with all 3 of my babies by which time they were literally wanting feeding every 15-20 minutes!!!

has your midwife/gp checked baby over for any physical causes of pain etc that might be causing the crying?
how are you dealing with the crying? does anything stop him?

ds2 was back to back and fairly unhappy after birth. I think he was in some discomfort as his head was a bit squashed.

do you have a local breastfeeding counsellor you could contact?

hi -
having similar problems myself. lost a lot of blood & then painkillers affected my milk supply after birth of DD.

positive steps:-

1. try to go and see breast feeding expert midwife for consult to check all ok with technique.

2. i hired a hospital grade medela breast pump from their website - good for in between feeds to stimulate supply.

3. also stopped taking painkillers unless i really needed them.

4. also got some motherlove "more milk plus" herbal capsules.

5. drink an obscene amount of water!

supply has been improving slowly.

I still don't have a lot ( at 4 weeks) but now can do 1/2 breast and 1/2 formula at least. I will probably try GP for medication if we don't keep improving

a big hug to you as it is horrible not being able to bf.

oh and 6)try your best to ignore the smug BFers who insist you are "just not doing it right - of course you have plenty of milk" as there will be loads who will make confidence destroying comments, not realising how hurtful they are being.

A response so quick

Thank you so much Tiktok

Where to begin? Yes he did have trouble being born, it was unfortunately both forceps and ventouse. Our hospital was fantastic, and yes our doctors and midwives there have checked him thoroughly during our stay and again before being rleased.

We are struggling with the latch, he is so fussy. I undertsand what you are saying about milk 'come in', I am trying to learn his 'cries' and what they may be for, I so wish to fulfill ds's needs. Dh is convinced he is hungry.

I really do feel I am failing. It is such a disappointment

Do you have a number for your community midwife? I struggled to start with and they were fab. Someone came to see me every day until I was happy with it.

As others have said, babies feed frequently in the first few days- it was explained to me that it's when babies "put in their order" to make sure you make enough milk. Also, in the case of my DS he wanted to latch on all the time just for comfort, could your DS be doing the same?

My milk came in on day six and like you I was panicking that I had no milk. This wasn't helped by a stupid midwife who persuaded me to give him formula on day two cos she thought he was hungry. I had a c-sec which can mean milk takes a bit longer to come in. Keep going. I have ebf my four month old ds (apart from the one off formula incident) and it is the best thing I have ever done. He is such a healthy and happy little boy. The others are right, pls listen to their advice. Xx

Oh this is wonderful, thank you so much for your replies

Kailie your list is wonderful, I am so tired, as I already mentioned I have been awake for 6 days/nights straight as I could not rest in early labour because of this back to back position, I have not really been drinking, actually with all the trauma I have rather gone off my food. I will go and pour myself a glass of water immediately.
I too am on painkillers, maybe I should stop?
Are those more milk plus capsules easy to find? Dh could go and buy them now.

Thisisyesterday thank you,yes I am finding ds's crying hard to deal with and I feel about that.

PS Expunge the word "fail" from your vocab! You are doing brilliantly, you're a caring mum who wants to do the best for her DS, BFing is bloody hard to master, you are absolutely not failing!

i would say don't worry about learning his cries right now

just keep feeding him whenever possible. this will stimulate your supply and help to ensure a good supply now and in the future.
crying is normally a last resort for babies whose other feeding cues have been missed, although i realise that with a baby who may have other issues it can be hard to spot other cues, esp if he is crying an awful lot

i would def second the idea to try and have a day or 2 in bed/on sofa getting a lot of skin to skin and feeding as much as you possibly can. when your milk comes in hopefully he'll start to settle a bit

ventouse/forceps can both leave baby in pain, so that might be something you can talk to your midwife about with regard to giving painkillers or similar?

i'd also recommend cranial osteopathy if youcan find a good paediatric osteopath in your area. ours did wonders for ds1 and ds2

whereabouts are you?

I support all that thisisyesterday says. Kallie's situation is not the same as yours, pearly - your baby is much younger and while of course he needs to learn to feed and to take milk, it is far, far too soon to talk about low supply or not enough milk.

If you feel he is not feeding effectively, you can be helped to hand express colostrum and this will help 'prime' your supply system and also get this precious, but small amount, of fluid into him.

Forget about distinguishing his cries! Just keep him close and assume that any squeak or wiggle or grimace or hand-wave or leg kick is a feeding cue - not because he is desperately hungry, but because he needs to be close to you, sucking and enjoying the contact and the milk, and getting things underway :)

You absolutely need to see a midwife asap and get things sorted. Some babies do need formula, in an emergency, but nothing in your post suggests your baby is in this category - check with the midwife before doing this, and again, explore hand expressing of colostrum/milk as the preferred option to formula.

Pearly, so sorry you're having a hard time.

Just to add,that you need to eat and drink to recover from the birth and give you some strength, but what you eat and drink will not affect your milk supply.

Would also recommend cranial osteopathy as thisis yesterday suggested.

Hope you get some help from your midwife soon.

I bet he has a stonking headache after the birth, my poor DD2 did as she shot out so fast she burst a blood vessel in her eye, nobody gave any advice or cared the poor mite must have been in agony :(
Agree with everyone else keep putting him to the breast as often as possible and you'll get there. I gave my baby a few bottle of formula in the first week without giving up on the breast and it worked for us, took the pressure off.
I'm on my 4th baby and it's still a struggle but it does get better and is worth the effort.

Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. My dd didn't feed the first 4 days. I Was in a different situation from you as my dd showed no interest in feeding and did not cry. However, I would do what tiktok advises and see a midwife as soon as possible. You should be getting seen daily until day ten. I Was supported by midwifes to hand express colostrum and this was fed to my dd in a syringe. Midwifes helped me do this. Why don't you phone your community midwife unit and ask advice about this.

You've been given brilliant advice already but I just wanted to add my tuppence. There's no better reason to bundle yourself and your newborn up into bed and stay there. Lots of skin to skin - just knickers/PJ bottoms for you and a nappy for baby. Then he can have free access and will be soothed by the smell & warmth of your skin, the smell of your milk and the sound of your heartbeat. And there is no better excuse to be waited on hand and foot by your DH

Everyone has given good advice but just wanted to offer support. Agree take the baby to bed and offer the breast as much as possible. You are not failing.

Baby probably has a headache from his difficult birth hence the crying.

re: the no sleep for 6 days straight you need to hand the baby over to your DH for a couple of hours at a time to get some sleep.

Hopefully you will have milk tomorrow.

What everyone else said, but wanted to add...eat flapjacks. Oats are SO amazing for milk production and also give you much needed energy.

I just wanted to offer a little support and remind you that there is so much more to motherhood than whether your breasts "work" or not. My son is 5 weeks old and he gets everything I can poduce (enough to drown aosquito in! ). I know there's a lot of pressure for us to bf but on your baby's first day at school for example, this will all be a distant memory.

Some people talk about a closeness they feel when bf-ing, bit for me, the first time I accepted what was happening and gave him a bottle it was wonderful. There were no tears from either of us and he gazed in to my eyes.

This site is great and the friday stories really helped reconcile my feelings.

fearlessformulafeeder.blogspot.com/

*My son was premature, by emcs and I had pre-eclampsia (amongst other issues) - sometimes it just doesn't happen.

Please excuse name change, one had trouble logging on, prehaps one made a mistake when joining due to tiredness.

Again, thank you all for your advice and support, it feels wonderful to know that I am not alone.

I have taken all your advice on board and am now drinking like a fish!!!

I wish to particularly thank those of you who are busy with little ones as your time is precious.

mamatomany it is such a relief to hear that should we resort to offering ds a bottle exclusive breastfeeding is still possible. You should know having 4 little ones yourself. Wonderful Dh is so concerned about ds's constant crying. Yesterday I did quite a bit of it myself, prehaps it is the baby blues

SkiHorseWonAWean congratulations on your baby! You are an inspiration, you are absloutely correct, there is far too much pressure put on us. One just loved where you described feeding your ds a bottle, so peaceful and tranquil, how feeding should be one would imagine. Thank you for the link, very kind.

One has been practicing skin to skin from birth, sorry, perhaps I should have mentioned that. Dh does so too, he takes off his shirt and vest and carries ds whilst pacing the floor, to give me a break.It does seem to reassure ds somewhat.

Tiktok I am so far just so dreadful at expressing but as kaillie recommended we are in contact now with the hospital about hiring a breast pump.

Thisisyesterday we shall have a cranial osteopath check ds this week, one shudders to think that there might be something wrong

Good news is one managed a couple of hours sleep in the early hours this morning
But ds is still crying and crying

Has your DS had much sleep? Are you keeping him close to you? if he's crying a lot, try holding him and gently rocking him and ssshhhing him.

Have you got a sling you can carry him in?

Pearl, glad to hear that you've had some sleep .

that ds is still crying alot- when is your mw coming to see you?

Igglybuff ds is just not sleeping at all. Tiny naps here and there, nothing to ease his discomfort. A sling perhaps is a good idea, one worries about safety though.

crikeybadger thank you, our mw will be along in the morning

Ds was the same in hospital, crying and crying. One had hoped once home things would change. A mw in the hospital told me he was crying because he is hungry, completely dry, as she held him, his crying stopped but once handed back to me, he would start again. She said it was because she smelt of milk. I cried when she left my room

Pearl, what an awful thing for your the mw to say, that's terrible.

What a terrible thing for your midwife to say :(

You can get a sling where the baby is held upright and close to you. Pretty much the way in which he would sleep on you. Do you let him sleep on you?

It becomes a vicious cycle - no sleep, gets overtired, cries, too wound up to sleep, cries etc etc. Can you keep him in a dim room, with white noise or something gentle playing in the background?

Actually, that's not just a terrible thing to say, it's shocking and unhelpful. Babies get the tiniest amount of colostrum in the first few days, so to say he's 'dry' is just unhelpful and obviously made you feel bad.

Keep asking for help and you can turn this around.