remind me why I'm doing this again!

[motherinferior]

I don't have problems breastfeeding. In fact, I gush with milk - one big problem with giving expressed bottles at night (although I can express, no problems there either). But at the moment, I feel absolutely chained to the baby - because even an expressed bottle is ultimately my responsibility, and also because as I've said expressing for the night isn't an overly feasible option (I'd just wake up in swollen pain, like I did when dd1 started sleeping through), which means stumbling out of bed to feed a couple of times in the night; so all in all I'm seriously wondering why, if formula is supposed to keep them going longer and there's more chance of a night's sleep, I'm doing this. I suppose I know why, really. But it's getting to the stage (which happened last time) where I start envying other women who have more reasons for giving up. Can you just remind me, please, why I'm bothering to continue breastfeeding?

Ok, formula, solids etc never made my ds sleep a minute longer than breastmilk. I think it's all a myth. Breastmilk makes them cleverer so you save on private tutors later on , breastfed babies are less likely to be wheezy, get infections etc, the LCPs in breastmilk may be protective against everything from depression and poor eyesight later in life, not to mention obesity, cancer, heart disease diabetes etc etc. These were my reasons and they kept me going. Also, you can take your breasts anywhere and you can't leave them at home by accident, which for Mrs Forgetful like me, is truly an advantage. I know, the sleeplessness is hell, but soon you won't get so engorged at night as the boobs will be more a supply and demand operation, I think and then you can opt out of some of the night stuff. Also, you won't be doing this again probably, so this is the home straight.... Go girl!

OK I'll try:

• you can go out without having to take a bottle -you don't have to remember to make up the next days bottles at some point before you stumble into bed exhausted
• You don't have to remember to get all the bottles and teats sterilised before you do the point above -you can go away without taking a suitcase full of plasticware with you -bottle feeding always takes two hands -realistically, at the moment, how many feeds would someone else do for you?? -when you look back on it, you will be really pleased that you did it - I think you know that bit really! -carrying on gives you flexibility to add in the occasional bottle so that you will be able to go out without the baby

Is that enough?? I do know where you're coming from though - I remember getting very fed up at 3 months or so that I was still spending SO MUCH of my time feeding ds - things would go on around me and I would just feel chained to the chair helpless!
Oh, and while I'm here - would you recommend the Medela pump? Is it quicker than a hand pump? I was pretty hopeless expressing with ds and would like to try to do better next time

I was trying to steer clear of the 'better for baby' reasons as I think that's taken as read, but how about reducing your risk of breast cancer?
Personally I don't think the sleep stuff is such a myth (my ds definitely slept better on solids) but its almost certainly overplayed. Also, it must be really inconvenient sorting out a bottle feed in the middle of the night, compared to grabbing baby and sticking on to boob and then dozing off while they feed??

Breasts are made for babies and they love them. Just look at that wee face as you are feeding. This is such a short time in your life to be tied to a baby that ultimately it is worth it. It is a myth that formula makes babies last longer - I can think of nothing worse than stumbling out of bed to bottle feed twice a night - and partners do not always do it instead!
Anyway, at night I brought them in to feed and slept through the whole thing. IT IS LOVELY

Lots and lots of health reasons - these were posted on a midwifery list today (cited form an article by Maureen Minchin)

"Artificially fed babies are at greater risk of: gastroenteritis, inflammatory bowel disease, Crohn's Disease, coeliac disease, idiopathic hypertrophic pyloric stenosis, necrotising enterocolitis, obstructive bowel disease, appendicitis, inguinal hernia, food allergy and intolerance, insomnia, colic, colitis, respiratory disease, bronchiolitis, bronchitis, pneumonia, wheezing, ear infections, tonsillectomy, diabetes, childhood lymphoma, cot death, meningitis, autism, schizophrenia, urinary tract infections, rheumatoid arthritis, tooth decay, orthodontic defects, speech problems in boys, hypoxia and bradycardia for prems, possible long-term consequences for appetite control, unfavourable lipoprotein profiles, tragic outcomes for children with enzyme deficiency disease, organ transplantation, PKU.
Additionally artificial feeding is associated with higher risk to the mother of pre-menopausal breast cancer, ovarian cancer, cervical cancer, osteoporosis, anaemia, hip fracture."

You know it is best, for both of you. You know that you can do it - you are doing it! Chances are baby will still wake in the night even if formula fed, and bottles are a lot more efforrt to sort out (especially if you have a bay screaming at you when you are trying to do it) - so what would you gain by stopping? this way you know you are doing the very best you are able to for your baby! It DOES make a difference - the long term implications for this are vast. You are doing a brilliant job - and it IS a bit of a fag, but it is worth it.

Does that help at all?

The warm snuggly bedtime feed when they fall asleep.
The way their eyes roll back in ecstasy when the milk lets down.
That little hand resting on the top of yur breast when you feed
The continued feeling of "I made that!" when looking at your baby. I got immense satisfaction from the fat that I'd built this baby and was continuing to give him the food he needed to grow with.

You can feed any time, any where without having to sterilise a bottle, make up a feed/open a carton or warm the milk. No fuss, no hassle!

Because it's utterly bizarre to give your child modified cow's milk with strange additives you can't even spell. Especially when your body is making lovely purrrfect milk that is the very best thing in the world for your child.

oakmaiden, how can an artificially fed baby be at greater risk of PKU?! It is a congenital problem, either you have it at birth or you don't (similar to the congenital problem my ds has) - whether you feed them breastmilk, formula or whiskey sours!

just a question, really...

Hm, to be honest I was just quoting a cited source, but I think it means that an artifically fed child would be at greater risk of a "tragic outcome" caused by PKU than a breastfed child. i hacen't actually seen the research myself, but that is how I read the quote. Of course, as you say, the actual chance of having PKU is unaffected.

ahhhh...
confused me, that!

Agree agree esp with Mears - partners (or shall i say Husbands!) soon get over the
novelty of bottles

Because you lose weight. (Although it didn't seem to work for me) And as long as you are bf, you can eat cakes because you need the nutrition.

motherinferior, spare a thought for those of us who have struggled to get into breastfeeding!
You say you gush milk, I wish I could say the same.. my little one needs supplementing with the formula as I didn't produce enough milk to start with, I now produce more milk but he still gets a bottle at night.

Why didn't I give up on giving him the breast even if he made my nipple sore and it broke my heart to see him crying for hunger as I didn't have much milk?
Because I want for him the best start in life and also because I have always envied the closeness mothers have with their babies when they breastfeed: it is a magic feeling!

Try putting your baby in bed with you and feeding lying down at night, then a quick burp and back in the cot. Should help the gushing milk too. You may even persuade your partner to go and get the baby. I find I drift in and out of sleep, but always wake up the moment my baby falls off the breast.

You talk of being chained to your baby. Well I'd rather get a sit down with a baby several times a day than have to be chained to my steriliser and bottle washing routine. You may be creating the worst situation for yourself by doing the bottle cleaning thing to express rather than just doing it the natural way, which would give you the right hormones at the right time for you to cope.

Another thing which works for me is to add up how much formula costs per week or per month and then spend that amount on a cleaner or gardener or whatever frees you up to have more great times with your baby.

Please don't give up, your baby needs you.

Hope this helps.

Well done happyspider. Since you are now producing more milk have you considered giving EBM instead of formula? Do you feel more confident giving a bottle of formula? Just asking out of curiosity really

When I was giving up b/f someone said to me to think hard about it as it would be the last time I would ever be that close to my baby. Very wise words .... she was right and I have regretted my decision to give up so early ever since ....
Now that I am pg again and I have very vivid and bizarre dreams I regularly dream that I am b/fing my 3 yr old DS ... I wonder what Freud would think of that????

Oh, yes the one handed aspect of breastfeeding is great. Feed while a/turning pages of book b/operating remote on tv c/drinking nice glass red wine. My favourite feed was while watching TOTP2 with my nightly 'medicine'.

Re: the chained feeling, I found it helped to surround myself with stuff - sandwich, drink, telephone, tv remote, newspaper, magazine, murder mystery novel, etc etc so I was quite content not to move for days. Dh also had to act as house elf, which was nice too.

EBM? Mears, I may sound naive, but I don't know whta EBM is. Is it something to do with expressed milk?
We give him formula because he seems to sleep longer on it and he really likes it. Also, my dh can take over and I can have a bit of a rest (which, as you know is important to produce even more milk)

EBM is expressed breast milk. You are absolutely right that rest is important for milk production although the stimulation of feeding or expressing is what actually triggers the production of milk. Your baby might go just as long on your own milk now. My first ds slept through the night at 9 weeks exclusively breastfed. The only thing about giving formula is that it can disturb the balance of milk being produced by your body in response to your baby's needs. It is counterbalanced by expressing at other times.
Your body is capable of making enough milk even for a hungry baby. If you are expressing you could still give a bottle but with expressed milk instead of formula to give you a break. I just wondered if you had considered aiming for exclusive feeding now that your baby is now feeding so much better?

If it helps at all, dh gave ds a bottle of formula last thing at night from 6 weeks so I could go to bed early. I expressed at 9pm to keep my supply up and we thought that maybe ds was sleeping longer on formula.
He is now 15 weeks and has slept through the night for a few weeks so this week we have gone back to me feeding ds at 10pm, so he is now exclusively breastfeed. He has still slept through the night, which was my main concern, so there must be enough milk there!
I too was considering giving up feeding him and it took several threads on mumsnet and a supportive dh to persuade me to try it for a bit longer! I found that I was waking up every morning so full that it hurt to move so I was waking up at 5am even though ds was sleeping through. Now that I am feeding him last thing at night rather than expressing I am no longer painfully full in the morning, so I think he must empty me better than expressing can.
That was a bit rambly, sorry, but I hope it has helped!

nursie - we did something similar. I expressed at 9pm and went to bed. dh woke and fed ds at 10pm ish and we all slept till 8am from 9 weeks. It also meant we could go out in an evening as long as I expressed when I got back.

That's my next concern now - dh and I are going to a reasonably well-behaved work dinner ( dh's work ) and we won't be back till at least 1030. I'm leaving a bottle of formula out for the babysitter just in case ds wakes up before we get back, but I am worried that I will start leaking in the middle of dessert!
I'm wearing a strappy evening dress as well, so wearing a bra is out. Any ideas?