remind me why I'm doing this again!

[motherinferior]

I don't have problems breastfeeding. In fact, I gush with milk - one big problem with giving expressed bottles at night (although I can express, no problems there either). But at the moment, I feel absolutely chained to the baby - because even an expressed bottle is ultimately my responsibility, and also because as I've said expressing for the night isn't an overly feasible option (I'd just wake up in swollen pain, like I did when dd1 started sleeping through), which means stumbling out of bed to feed a couple of times in the night; so all in all I'm seriously wondering why, if formula is supposed to keep them going longer and there's more chance of a night's sleep, I'm doing this. I suppose I know why, really. But it's getting to the stage (which happened last time) where I start envying other women who have more reasons for giving up. Can you just remind me, please, why I'm bothering to continue breastfeeding?

Can you feed just before leaving? Are you able to tape breastpads on? You are really brave - I leaked at all sorts of times. If you feel a tingle of a letdown, press the heel of your hand firmly on the nipple area and that should stop the leak in it's tracks. You can do it quite subtly. Try not to think of the baby at all. Have a lovely night

Thank you everyone. I should say that as far as I can see neither of my babies have gazed at me adoringly (I wish!) but rather gaze into space as I feed (mind you, I tend to be reading at the time, so no doubt we're both buggering up our Beautiful Bond). And no, sorry, I don't like night feeding - yes, I do it lying down but quite frankly given the choice between sleep and having somebody chomp away on my breast, I'll go for option 1 any time (oh, and I tend to fall asleep with her there and then wake up in a cold sweat later convinced I've smothered her). I'm really sorry, I'm not trying to be negative, but that's my experience. I have to add that for me, the nights are always a constant cycle of filling up and emptying - however far along I am. So it all gets quite painful, and then very painful, if the baby DOES sleep, which is the most appalling catch-22 (I had SIX WEEKS of painful nights when dd1 started sleeping through. IMO it's a total myth that your body adjusts automatically. Mine didn't!)

I will keep going, honestly, obviously, because I don't have any reason/excuse for stopping. And I will be glad I did it. I think the idea of expressing regularly for later in the evening is BRILLIANT - I have been expressing a bit, but a regular routine for this would be fab. (Yes, elliott, I've been using the Medela and I think I would recommend it - the letdown isn't as good as with the Avent but it doesn't half get going, albeit with strange vibrator-style noise which would make me slightly hesitant to use it in a work loo .)

thank you so much. Any further suggestions very much appreciated. I'm sorry to sound so down. I will get better, honestly!

Have you tried hand expressing motherinferior? I did it with no.4 when I returned to work - was so much faster than the pump, no euipment required other than clean hands and recepticle plus no noise

motherinferior I expressed after/during every feed I did. I had lots of milk, so dd would only ever empty one breast and as we got better at feeding I could quite easily feed from one and express from the other. I would do a feed at 7pm, and then dh would use EBM to do a 10pm feed. If she did need feeding in the night I would do a bf, but I'm sure that not feeding/expressing after 7 helped to calm down my supply. I did have a couple of weeks of waking up with a wet bed in the middle of the night, but took to sleeping on a couple of towels. I would then feed dd in the morning, and express off all my spare milk whilst she snuggled in bed next to me.

Is there an easy way of hand expressing then, because I've tried it and it didn't seem to work? I asked the HV for ideas and tried what she suggested but that didn't work either.
Sometimes it feels like it takes a while for the milk to get going, but then I can't stop it!
Taped-on breast pads, mears, why didn't I think of that? ( doh!) I'll try that. I will be feeding ds just before we go out at 6pm but I find I'm fairly full by 10pm.

The trick is to be patient - no milk will come until the letdown starts. At that point the milk will flow. As you express from one side, the letdown starts on the other so when the flow slows down on the first side, switch to the other one. Keep switching from side to side as the flow stops and starts. Milk comes down in jets rather than a constant flow. Even when expressing with an electic or hand pump it is better to keep switching rather than sitting with the pump going for 10 mins at a time on each breast. You get more milk, more quickly. Hope that was understandable

Found this today for hand expressing - explains it well.

handexpressing

That looks really helpful, thanks mears. I hope to use this too when dh and I escape for our anniversary next month.
A whole night away, I feel quite giddy

you can phone eat type and use the remote whilst feeding!!

My dd doesn't give me a loving look while I'm breastfeeding but the greedy look of success that she gets (like some film villain who's about to blow something up!) is so cute that it makes it worthwhile anyway!!!

motherinferior - I know what you mean about the agonising boobs at night time; sometimes I would be lying awake desperate for my baby to wake up for his feed. But if you express, surely that boosts your milk supply and increases the painful boobs? If you can sort out the over-full boobs, would night-time feeding then be more realistic for you? From my experience, night-time feeds were the easiest ones - just grab baby out of cot, plonk on bed, boob in, done. Usually I'd go back to sleep again, maybe wake up sometime later - baby gently back in cot, no winding required (must admit it took a couple of weeks to get this bit down to the fine art that it was and it didn't work in the first month or so) and back to sleep again.

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to say breasfeeding is now going quite marvellously, and the babe is blooming.
Thank you!

Many congratulations - you've done brilliantly. Isn't it amazing when it goes well? After weeks in agony and weeping over virtually every feed I began to wonder why on earth anyone ever described breastfeeding as pleasurable. But when things did finally start getting better, I understood and it's an amazing feeling.

You should be v. v. v. v. proud of yourself!

OOOO - Motherinferio I'm jealous - but also inspired - thanks and congratulations.

you all made me feel bit guilty! i lost my milk when ds was 4 mo. when i could feed him once in two days i thought it's time to dry off. and i knew i would get it back if i tried but was so so fed up with sleeping in wet bed! not a pain, night feeding, being the only one to do it, but wet bed and leaking all the time pushed me off! tell me breastfeeding up to 4 mo is stil not that bad! i was sorry for giving up.
about painful boobs- i coudn't sort things out- most of milk i had at night time and if i didn't feed ds at night he wouldn't get enough during the day! and one silly question- next time i want to fix cot to my bed and have baby handy, but- when did you stop changing them at night? when ds was young he had dirty nappy after every feed

MI - huge congrats - I know how tough it was for you and to manage with a toddler demanding your attention is a real feet.

well done motherinferior
I didn't believe bf would ever become enjoyable but after ten difficult weeks ...it did .

Glad to hear it!! Well done.

Jedy....I, for one, can't think what you have to feel guilty about at all! Just because MInferior was asking for help to support HER choice doesn't need to be any reflection on your choice in your particular circumstances.

Absolutely. Really. I'm very, very clear that with more difficulties I'd probably have given up!

Re feeding and pooing...I just don't know, myself. Post it as a separate question?

i will. thanks. sorry for jumping in like that.

That is great news, motherinferior, just caught up with this thread. Agree with all the pluses and loved Wobblymum's description of the furtive look of success they have when the milk comes in, the little pickles.