Please tell me how you cope with breastfeeding at night...

[gaelicsheep]

.. because I'm not coping at all. For the past couple of weeks, DD has had a bottle of formula at night and I can see that rapidly turning into two bottles. I am just so tired for much of the day and night that I cannot function. I cannot get comfortable breastfeeding in bed and I am finding feeding at night to be absolute torture. If I try I usually end up in tears with sheer tiredness and frustration (DD is not an easy feeder) and begging DH to make up a bottle. I've tried feeding lying down and it just doesn't work with DD's latching issues.

I don't understand why I'm so tired. I barely slept at all for the last two months of pregnancy and I was never this knackered, so it can't just be sleep deprivation. DH takes DD in the mornings anyhow to let me sleep so I'm not sure I'm that sleep deprived.

How do other women cope with breastfeeding at night, or with breastfeeding fatigue full stop? Is it like this for everyone? DD's 5 weeks tomorrow btw.

Not her, harverina - me. Night times have been hell until very recently so as little time in bed as possible is good for me. She's in exactly the same position wherever we are (in my arms) so it makes no odds to her.

Anyhow we're now (finally) settling into a pattern. We're going to bed around 12:30am at which point I give her the rest of her late feed and then she'll sleep until around 4.30 or 5 ish. The past three mornings she has then proceeded to feed/suck for 2 hours or more and is then wide awake. DH then gets up with her and sees to DS while I get a couple of hours sleep before she's ready for feeding again. It seems to be working for us.

Thanks for everyone's advice which helped give me hope that night time feeds need not be hell on earth. I've also found a more comfortable position for feeding in bed so things are gradually improving. No formula for 3 nights in a row now and barring a really bad night I plan for that to continue.

Who would put a puppy in a sling?!

I used to use a breastfeeding pillow and a comfy rocking chair. I have one with wings - old fashioned but perfect for sleeping in whilst feeding sitting upright. Baby supported by pillow so as comfy as you can get I would say. In this position it is possible to snooze and feed ime.

I too never got the hang of feeding lying down! DC always used to give me sore nipples doing that!

OP, glad to read that things are improving.

I would definitely recommend a decent fabric sling too rather than a Baby Bjorn - it would be comfier for you and baby. I had one of these which I used till my DS was about 18-20lbs. I didn't get on with a ring sling, and I found it very hard work having the weight only on one shoulder.

If you google 'sling library' you may find somewhere local where you can borrow a sling to see what suits you. If not, google 'sling hire' and there are a number of companies who hire out slings by post.

On the bedtime thing, I know it feels awful at the time to go to bed early and then be woken up by LO needing to feed. But I still found that in the medium term it meant I coped much better, despite the short term pain! I would generally be in bed by about 8pm for the first few months, even if I had to wake up to feed DS within half an hour.

It sounds like you're doing a grand job - congratulations and keep going.

glad things are improving,gaelicsheep.

can i hijack for a minute.

ds (4 weeks) feeds around 10.30ish, then sleeps pretty well in his crib, from about 12 until 2. He feeds really well from both breasts, then will not settle unless he is in a sling. It is killing us, dh takes him at 4ish,so i can get a couple of hours sleep before 6 when our dds wake up and ds wakes for another feed.

he doesn't seem hungry, i have tried bringing him into bed with us, but he doesn't settle.

any ideas?

When you say he doesn't settle do you mean he crys? As dc3 takes about half an hour to settle at night but she just wriggles madly whoops and hiccups and coughs then eventually goes to sleep. we put her in her moses basket and i keep an eye on her if i can stay awake.DC1 and dc2 used to cry at night so we rocked the moses basket. You could put him in his crib and pick him up to burp him and check his nappy if he's really wriggly then put him straight back down and rock him or put a hand on his chest. Does your crib rock?

That was a response to hazeyjane

Hazey I feel your pain! My LO also won't settle after the 1 am feed. He is OK on earlier and later ones. He is hiccupy, windy and seems in pain. Using Infacol to no effect but will try gripe water when he is 4 weeks.

I pick up, wind, walk around with him and it can take an hour to settle him. I know this can be normal but it's killing me! Any suggestions? Is it wind or does he just want cuddling?

Sorry to hear you are having a crap time of it. I'm not brilliant being awake at night but DS2 is now 11 days old and so far things going well (even though I'm crap with sleep deprivation). I make sure he's latched on properly and getting a good amount of breast tissue in his mouth at each feed, wind him a bit, and then offer the other breast. If he doesn't take it, I use the loo, change his nappy then try and get him on again. If he is v sleepy then he goes back in his moses basket. He usually wakes around 12 then 3am then 6am. It is exhausting and I often wonder how I coped with DS1 but he's a 3yo now and there is an end in sight, so that's probably what's keeping me sane for now!

just read your latest post gaelicsheep and I'm glad things have been improving for you.

ds (3 wks) was really clingy and wouldn't be put down, then we got a bouncy chair with vibrations, which was the single best baby thing we bought!

he often sleeps for part of the night in that, and part of the night in the bedside crib, but even in the day is a surefire way to stop him crying, once all the possible "actual" reasons like hungry, nappy, cuddle etc have been ruled out.

Much sympathy for the mastitis, am also suffering (sitting here expressing with bloody noisy machine, sounds like am mowing the lawn.)