International Boarders - Ludgrove School

[est09]

We are looking to send our eldest (age 6) to Ludgrove for year 4-8 (so when he turns 8.) Currently we do not reside in the UK, but we are UK citizens, and have a house in London. We have a relative with whom he’d stay with if we weren’t able to travel over for exeats (which would be our aim). Has anyone got any advice/experience with:

• Boarding at a young age
• International boarding
• Ludgrove School

Also, if anyone has any other recommendations of full boarding schools within around a 2 hour car journey (maximum) from a London Airport, please let me know.

Things we’d like to know about Ludgrove from other parents before we ask the school themselves:

• How often can boys contact their parents?
• Are they allowed devices?
• How many boys on average are in a dorm?
• Policies on children on social media/protection from the media?

In an ideal world, we would like to go from Ludgrove to Eton/Harrow. Our other sons would join him when they reach his age.

Thank you.

@MumznettyI accept your opinion. You are free to respect whoever you want to respect, please don’t demand that I hold the same views

@needmorecoffee7
Nobody, including the OP, asked for your particular opinions on this thread. You have contributed no relevant experience on the topics of international boarding, junior boarding or Ludgrove. Instead you have expressed some bigoted, offensive and incoherent views about the armed forces, those who serve in them, and the state of their marriages.

@TheCricketersActually, I do have a great deal of experience with boarding schools — and I’ve seen first-hand the damage it can do to young children. Nothing in the world would make me put my own kids through that.

If my partner were in the military, I’d prioritise staying with my children. That was my main contribution to this thread — and as far as I can tell, no one else raised that point. You don’t have to agree, but it is a relevant and valid perspective.

I’m also not sure in what way anything I’ve said could be considered “bigoted.” Criticising institutions — including the military — isn’t the same as attacking individuals or whole groups. Sharing concerns about the impact of certain choices, especially based on real experience, isn’t offensive. It’s part of an honest discussion.

Disagreeing is fair enough. But let’s not throw around heavy labels just because someone challenges the dominant view.

It was your judgment and attitude towards a situation you know absolutely nothing about and have no experience of, which was very unfair on a mother asking for advice. Especially on a board labelled supportive.
You then showed utter contempt against the people who serve to protect our nation. Which, of course is an opinion you are allowed to hold, but it hasn’t gone down well, and you have to tolerate that response alongside your opinion.

You are ignorant of boarding and the military. You have no firsthand experience - only third hand- of boarding.
your opinions are not well founded as you have no lived experience of what it means to have boarded yourself or have children that do.
The anti military rant was totally uncalled for.
i don’t think the “boarding school” forum is your natural home. The board was specially created for people who are in the process of choosing boarding schools (or already using them) precisely to stop the sanctimonious preaching of wilfully ignorant folk who proclaim this choice as crap parenting. I suggest you pull your judgy pants right on up and toddle off to the boards that ask for debate and leave the boarding forums to those who know about it.

I have no experience of boarding schools. I have experience of 8 year old children though, and this is just so sad. Poor little thing, mine would rather be with me no matter what! And me, with him.

@leftandaright@MrCarson
Incredible that you presume to know what I do or don’t understand.

I went to a boarding school as a day pupil and saw first-hand the impact it had on children who boarded from a young age — many from military families. My own parents and several relatives boarded as young children and were deeply affected by it. Their experiences were painful enough that they made a deliberate choice not to put me through the same.

So no — I’m not speaking from nowhere. I’ve formed my views through direct experience and through the lived experiences of people close to me. Personally, I don’t believe any child should be left with lasting emotional harm for the sake of a parent’s career. But hey — that’s just me.

@leftandaright I’ve never had such a rude and personal attack on this site. You might want to ask yourself why my opinion angers you so much. Maybe it hits a nerve because, deep down, you know that sending very young children away from home isn’t easy to justify.

For the record, I’ve worked in two separate boarding schools within the last 10 years, and I’ve seen the emotional impact on some children first-hand. I’m not speaking from ignorance — I’m speaking from direct, informed experience.

And I’m afraid there’s no “safe space” on a public forum when you’re advocating for something that many of us believe is harmful to children. Disagreement comes with the territory — especially when the wellbeing of young kids is at stake.

For what it's worth @needmorecoffee7, I don't subscribe to the last two posts from @leftandright and don't believe we should become so uncivil in discussions that should be assumed to be in good faith and intended to be helpful. But actually, you and leftandright were earlier making the same case against boarding from a young age- leftandright wasn't advocating for it at all. So I don't think you can put her posts down to suppressed guilt or hostility to challenge. Your views on boarding are not unique and even those who (like me) have used boarding school from Y4, are likely to acknowledge it's not always the right path to choose, and shouldn't be undertaken lightly.

I wonder though whether you have any insight into how offensive your views on military service and families would be on @this forum? You may not have intended this, but you should be aware that your unapologetic disrespect for those who serve their country caused deep offence and hurt. Counter-views on boarding school are probably fair enough on a boarding school thread even if unwelcome. Doubling down your views on the Military on a thread that's not about the Military but with a large Mil membership was provocative, rude and goady. I'm not surprised someone bit you.

@needmorecoffee7

I have reread your earlier contributions in this thread and there’s nothing about your lived experience of international or junior boarding in there. You went straight in with a nasty insinuation about OP’s relationship with her partner/children and then followed up with some gratuitous (and incoherent) attacks on the armed forces.

If you have something useful and relevant to say here, then please say it. Otherwise stick to AIBU or the politics threads. It is plain trolling behaviour to come onto a thread like this with a lot of military families and start insulting them.

Let me be clear: my initial comments had absolutely nothing to do with the military. I was responding to the issue of early boarding — full stop. It was other posters who brought the armed forces into it and began demanding that I show gratitude. I won’t be told who I must thank or where I can and can’t post.

This is a public forum. If I have relevant experience and a viewpoint to share — which I do — I’ll contribute. In fact, I likely have more direct experience than many here when it comes to the impact boarding school can have on young children. I didn’t lead with that, because I prefer not to overshare online, but that doesn’t make my perspective less valid.

While I stand by my views on the military — because I’m entitled to my opinion — it’s not a debate I came here to have or care deeply about in this context. What I do care about is the long-term effect early boarding can have on a child’s wellbeing, and I’ll continue to raise that concern wherever it’s relevant.

As the spouse of someone in the military, you do have the option to stay with your children rather than sending them away to board. That is a perfectly reasonable point to raise, and one that deserves to be considered — not shouted down.

It’s a good school, but it’s much more common to just board from 11 now. Eight is terribly young - if you have an international school near you, I’d use that, and send him over at 11, which is enough time to prep for public school entrance at 13.

I do know people who enjoyed their prep schools - including me - but it’s not ideal.

Is Ludgrove academically selective? Would a boy who is not particularly talented or confident thrive there?

prep schools tend not to be too academically selective although they do employ unofficial filters to make sure that children joining are going to be able to thrive. Ludgrove certainly feeds the most traditional bastions of the English public senior school sector which inevitably tend to be academically selective themselves - so many will be bright, go-getter types but also I know boys who have gone from Ludgrove to attend (very!) non academic senior schools. These good prep schools specialise in “prepping” the children for the right senior school for them as individuals.
the Ludgrove entrance process will be like match making. Is the school a good fit for the child and is the child a good fit for the school? If it’s a double yes, they will get a place. So it’s worth visiting the school and talking to their admissions in an honest way and then if it’s the right place, I’m sure they will get a place. (Depending on how competitive that cohort of entrant applicants are.)
if you are wanting a full boarding place then it’s a buyer’s market as the demand for full boarding prep schools is dropping through the floor over recent years. But since Ludgrove does such a good job as a prep for the top seniors, I’m sure it will very much employ excellent filters at intake to secure an appropriate cohort of boys starting each year.

Hi there, sorry for all the negative opinions from people who probably haven’t been in the situation you are in. It’s very easy to say how horrid boarding is from the comfort of being able to send your child to the local or a day student. I am a military family and move every 1-2 years. In fact we have lived in 8 houses in the 10 years of marriage and 4 international postings. The change for the children has been brutal, adventure yes when young, but much harder academically. So unless my husband quit his job and we bought a house, we really have no choice but to board and honesty my children have loved it. Son started year 5 at 10, daughter started at 8 in year 3. My advice would be to choose a school as close as possible to family or friends who can swoop them up for weekends or exeats. Mine are at Port Regis in Dorset but my third might go to Ludgrove. So many amazing schools with brilliant pastoral care. They have so much fun. Child has to be the right “type”, outgoing type but the CV listen are all in it together so they make friends quickly and are happy together. It’s much harder, granted, when you’re abroad. We luckily are in the UK for the next few years so can see the children most weekends but that will change soon enough. So id look yes good transport to airport and close to family. Good luck with your decision. Having kids in international schools the opportunity they get in a boarding schools is far far superior and probably cheaper too 😬

I’d also say about Ludgrove that all the boys are together as they go on a fortnight routine of all in for those two weeks, then the exeat. Whereas some with day students not all boarders are in. Pros and cons I guess. Some boys may feel it good when they know all are in. My son likes the fact not everyone is in as it then feels more special to go back to the boarding house. But his school has many staying weekends so he’s always around at least x80 others. Good luck with your choice. If you can visit then do as you get a good feel of the school and its ethos

I’ve known quite a few boys who attended Ludgrove

majority had a great time and for one it was the absolute making of him. It brought out th very best version of him

Yet for another boy I know he hated it so much he left

goes to show that as with all schools its horses for courses. Key is to find the right fit for your child

definitely visit and go see Summerfields too. It’s the only other proper boys boarding school near by

@est09 I am very happy to help - there is lots of conflicting advice here from lots of people, but you need to decide what is right for you and your family. Be wary of the term "full boarding" as it doesn't exist in many schools the way it did 10 or 20 years ago. Exeat weekends are more frequent and often schools empty out every weekend. There are only a handful of "full boarding" schools left in the UK as most UK parents have moved away from wanting this model. But there are some - and you will definitely need a UK based guardian. There are also some preps that specifically cater for military families. Year 4 is often the youngest that children can board at any school and so you do need to ensure that if they are to stay in school at weekends, that there are a decent number of children of their age that stay in with them and lots of activities provided. Pastoral care is obviously key as is communication with parents - but ultimately it's about the child, their personality and ensuring they flourish in the right environment for them. At this age, it's about so much more than academic achievement. As others have said, advice on future schools starts in the January of year 5, with CAT tests etc. sat in year 4 and year 6, so it is useful if a school knows a child well around year 5 age - but it's not a deal breaker. Do PM me if you'd like to chat more!

@SchoolsMum agree re Y5 - that’s the key year as head’s references are based on what they see of pupils then (for many 13+ entry schools, anyway)

If I may revive this thread about Ludgrove. What are the boys like there? Friendly and cheerful vs sharp elbows required, or a bit of both? Bullying? Hierarchy? What makes them different from, say, SF, Sunningdale or Papplewick boys?

My older cousin boarded from age 5/6 at a Scottish prep school then went to Fettes. His parents were living and working in Africa at the time.

I don’t think it’s affected him at all.

Amongst the boys that we know who are there or who left in the last few years they are all very different

some at far end of the spectrum and. It at all sporty but they had a great time

others very sporty, also enjoyed it

a few who left after a year or two saying “it wasn’t for them” without elaborating

of the schools you have chosen I’d say they have one thing in common which is that they all feed to Eton and Harrow in abundance

Sunningdale the outlier in terms of sport as they don’t have many pupils to chose from.

other three schools very strong on sport

If you want proper full boarding and decent sport it’s between SF and Ludgrove IMO

similar except SF has a lot of Chinese. Check out their social media

SF is not proper full boarding. Has loads of day boys. Nor is Ludgrove really, as everyone goes home every other weekend.

Thank you. The structure of boarding and other 'technicalities' have already been verified during our 'due diligence' :) What we are really interested in before we sign on the dotted line is inside views about the boys in those schools. We have visted them (except SF) a few times and have formed our opinions, but your views will be really appreciated.