Home sick and wants to leave

[Peggycat]

How do you all cope when your child messages saying they are finding boarding school too stressful and want to leave? He only started in Sept, and I imagine homesickness is hitting hard. Any useful strategies, or things you have said to your child that helped them? Thanks for any advise offered.

Well done to DS that he realised that the problem and told you about it. Hopefully someone in the boarding team assist. He sounds very mature.

On the back of this thread..if my DS was to go to a boarding school and then half way through term decided it wasn’t for him, would the school allow him to continue as a day student considering the school accommodates both day and boarding students.

Let him come home.. boarding schools set up MH problems for life

Didn’t notice old thread

I would listen to him. ‘Settling’ doesn’t mean he then starts to enjoy it, it means he realises he’s been left and no one will
come for him even if he wants that. much like controlled crying for a young infant. They don’t cry because they know no one is coming.

He may have wanted to go but the reality is clearly not ok and he’s telling you that. Bring him home or risk long term impact on your sons emotional health and your relationship with him.

I’m a former overseas boarder - I would’ve told you at the time I was fine ; it was all great but as an adult I have had to process the damage the separation from my parents did to me and to our relationship - my kids would never be sent away.

Haven’t read all the messages on this thread, but I have several friends with children who weren’t used to boarding and who weren’t happy until a term or two in - but then absolutely loved it after that. So personally I would persevere, unless they are truly unhappy. I think I would try and find a sympathetic teacher/house parent and ask their opinion - they will have seen lots of kids go through this and will be able to offer an opinion on whether it is a temporary homesickness or whether they think your dc is totally unsuitable for boarding as some are. My dd didn’t really enjoy yr 9, but she didn’t want to go back to day school either and the school encouraged us to persevere, which was the right choice as she loved yr 10 onwards. She is now distraught at the thought of leaving this year, she has loved the last three years so much.
Such a dilemma and if you can’t find an honest housemaster/matron/teacher at your son’s school then only hindsight will really help - which I appreciate is not what you want to hear.