what should i do my son has been rejected by westminster, shrewsbury, marlborough, winchester and st pauls

[PerkyExpert]

hi guys i am really in a sticky situation at the moment, we thought our son was bright enough for these schools but clearly not so. Any ideas what i should do?

Operative word being good. Not everywhere has a good state option.

@Calliopespa there are plenty of really good state schools (depending on where you are obviously) and even some good state boarding schools. And at least then people meet up with a reasonable cross section of society. It’s just so funny to come on a thread where people are so familiar with all these private schools - it really is a world away from most of us.

I agree with the person who said 'face facts'. Look at local options, if you feel that fee paying schools are the best for your child, not all are selective.

Boarding school is seldom the best option for a child in my opinion.

I guess my point (which is definitely not really what this thread is about); is that the people who attend these schools are in a different world from the rest of us. and I am really happy that the cabinet isn’t made up of these ones any more.

OK, obviously you are entitled to your opinion. Do you have any answers for the OP?

https://www.bedes.org/senior

This is worth a look. I know several children who are thriving here.

Have you tried St Trinian's?

There are some good ones; and there are some that aren’t.

But ultimately if people are “ mad enough” to want to pay for something you wouldn’t pay for, why not let them relieve the pressure on an already stretched state school budget?

I don’t get the hate that this issue generates. And as for the point about them being no benefit, if they really are a waste of money, why does anyone get envious about people going? People do lots of things differently. They eat differently, they have different holidays. It takes a world …

That must have been a real shock to you @PerkyExpert . I don't think that it means your DS wasn't bright enough, necessarily, though? Don't they look at a combination of test scores, interview, and whether the child will thrive? It's possible that he was perfectly 'bright' enough, but there were just other kids who shone a bit more in their priority areas.

Millfield
I know at least 3 objectively 'not very bright' people (they would concur, academic study was simply not their 'thing') who've gone there over the last 15 years. One of the first (only?!) private schools to have a good BTEC programme.
They all had a lovely time and successful adults!

I think it would be tough there though unless you were super sporty.

Face the fact that you were wrong. Try somewhere less competitive.

St Custard's. He may still be able to win the Mrs Joyful Prize for Raffia Work.

Not necessarily. It's good for music and drama too.

So, five entrance exams etc, and presumably five fails. And you want to put him through more? Jeezo. There’s a ball of inadequate, insecure childhood trauma right there. Poor kid.

Where is he currently OP and what year is he in? Has he not passed the pre-test test in year 6 or final exams in yr 8?

Pressed submit too soon. I echo what others have said, your current school has let you down badly. What have they said?

Could he be failing deliberately (or subconsciously) because he doesn't actually want to go to boarding school?

Not in anything like the same league as the school you have applied to but I have several friends with children at Clayesmore and they are very happy.

Bedes has BTECs.

That’s why she is posting to make sure the next approaches are successful.

OP has been badly let down by her current school, who should have been able to give an objective steer that would have had some hopeful options but some more or less guaranteed “ fallbacks.”

OP you can also ask for his iseb results. Lots of schools will give them if they haven’t given an offer ( they are less keen to give them if they have offered as then people say “ but so and so only got x and you took them…” .They are still young and it isn’t uncommon for them to crash and burn on those tests. I think all your choices were year 6 assessment? Some like Bryanston (?) are year 7. It may just be you need to prepare him well for the year 7 iseb and he gets a whole second round. But definitely do your groundwork and find out a) what his iseb was b) if there was a particular reason they didn’t make an offer ( eg how was he in interview) and c) I’d put pressure on his current school and ask to see his reference tbh .

Agree with this. My first thought was not actually that he's not bright enough, it was that he didn't seem right for those schools when they met him.

Yawn.

Grange Hill.

We've actually found over the last few years schools like you've mentioned are getting easier to get in to as it's a tough market at the moment. Did you decide to push for places like Winchester or did the school advise it? Honestly if they struggle with Shrewsbury entry Winchester was never a good option and I am surprised that it would be recommended by the school unless your DC was at the very top of the year.

Go to your school again, ask advice and be realistic, there are non selective schools out there, and ones that take the more all rounder than the academic child. Don't make your child feel bad though.