Can't afford uk boarding schools any more. Alternatives please

[Letsgetouttahere2023]

Simply cannot afford/ justify the cost of uk boarding schools. No parental help self funded, it is / will kill us. Would love to try and replicate, happy to move abroad to do so (we can wfh /internatinal jobs)

. 3 girls all brilliant all rounders, but particularly sport talented (hockey). 12y 11y 9y old.

Looking at re locating abroad . English only fluent language
School the priority for relocation, we can easily sort job post covid

Any recommendations For Schools? Not sure where to even start!

Thanks

Also, from what you've said, weekly or flexi-boarding somewhere fairly local might be a good compromise?

Strict I mean

Ireland - much cheaper cos the state pays pretty much the same as it does for state schools, and it’s just top up. St Columbia’s mixed, Alexandra college girls, black rock boys, many others obvs.

N Ireland, some state grammars have boarding facilities - so you just pay the (fairly modest) boarding fees - Victoria college girls, Campbell college boys, couple of other mixed ones I think

Also there are state boarding schools in the Uk, mostly quite good.

You could look at Christs Hospt in Sussex.

Hmmm....

Have you thought about sending them to a local private school and having them at home instead of sending them away? Or would that get in the way of your personal life? It's clear that you don't really want them around, and despite your best efforts, they are turning into brilliant children.

I feel this is going to bite you on the bum in the future. Kids are there to be cherished, all too soon they are flying the nest and moving away.

I've met lots of people who boarded and nearly all of them hated it apart from a few who said their parents were so messed up that it was a relief to escape for 30 weeks of the year. My school for example was 90% day / 10% boarders. Some had parents lived less than 30 mins away, the ones I was friends with resented their parents for not really being around.

Is your life that busy that you cant put the time in with your own kids? Maybe hire a nanny and have them at home?

🤯

I think you have a rather utopian view of modern boarding schools OP. 🤣

Hi, all. We'd like to remind you that we are here to support each other, and to help other parents with advice. This thread was started in the Boarding Schools topic - please do not derail the thread with uncalled for attacks on the OP.

I appreciate that this is the boarding school thread, so you weren’t looking for opinions on boarding school generally.

However, I wonder if you have considered the emotional impact of your children being separated from you?

Maybe this is a perfect opportunity for you to reconsider boarding.

Any benefits, such as being immersed in education, will be significantly outweighed by the impact of your children being separated from their parents. They will no doubt look back and wonder why you chose this for them. Children need love, to feel safe and connection more than they need to be immersed in education and cared for by strangers.

You can google to find lots of research about this topic. Children can recover from trauma, so all is not lost if they have boarded up until now.

You could look at Christs Hospt in Sussex.

Actually this is a good suggestion.

Yeah, they might do a 3 for 2 deal.

The cost of living crisis is really starting to bite now. We thought it was bad when people couldn't afford to buy food, or pensioners couldn't put the heating on, but you know things are really getting bad when people can't afford tens/hundreds? of thousands per year to ship all their kids off to boarding school for most of the year. If only we lived in a country where free at the point of use education was widely available.....

I'm now waiting for the OP to come back and say that boarding school is not a luxury in her household because both parents work offshore, so is a basic essential.

Is this for real? Where I live, although there are of course boarding schools MOST people send their children to the local school. You sound as though you want the best for your children - as long as you don't have to be involved other than paying! I agree with several other pps, send them to a local school and parent them yourselves rather than paying someone else to do it.

You think this won't happen? I thought you were abroad and so need boarding school but you are saying it the other way.

If they are all so talented have you checked out scholarships?

Unfortunately they're all girls and there are no YOI for girls anymore, they'll have to settle for a secure training centre I'm afraid. It's not like the good old days.

Move to another country where 28-bedroom mansions are affordable. Duh!

OP is in the UK and wants to move to anywhere that has cheap boarding schools.

India? Many English medium boarding schools? Though something tells me you won't want to live in India. But it's cheap!

Overseas boarding school….maybe not as good but most start at a later age 13+. Assuming you not doing 11+ girls only options?
Job relocation will pay? USA, Ireland, Thailand, Singapore, Malaysia. You need to check curriculum and sports.
Mobile use, they all use them and second phone.
Good luck!

The fact that you are willing to move countries to gain a preferred method of education whilst most British state schools will suffice sounds crazy.
I might be able to understand if schools in the country you live in were unacceptably dire, but for the most part schools here are possibly the best in the world (don't get me started on the Tory cuts).
I would have thought that schools in China are more performance based and involve too much pressure causing unnecessary stress but I don't know enough about it although I've heard first hand from someone that has moved there and sent their child.
If you were sending a child to Switzerland which is a very wealthy country and you were going to begin a whole lifestyle there also, and hope for a better life there generally, then possibly.

We had Friends move to NI for just this reason, not utterly bonkers as he was originally from there. Two years later they were all back.

Three DD just like you. All then went through the local, rather good, state schools and all are very rounded young women now with good education/jobs.

Boarding schools in all Asian countries- India, China, Thailand, Singapore, Malaysia-are mostly way more pressured than the UK and put academics above all else. 45 out of 45 on the IB is not uncommon in many.

That seems quite an extreme plan OP. Except the social media and ‘immersive education’ toy outlined previously, Are there any other reasons they absolutely must board?

Several family members went to boarding school

1. Age 8 boy, ended up with no idea how a family might work. Emotionally withdrawn, difficulties relating to wife and children, though v talented musically.
2. After failing the 11+. Boy. Persistently ran away. V unhappy.
3. Boy aged 9, father in Forces in another country. Ran away, very unhappy. Father lovely chap but had no idea what his role in a family might be. ( He went to boarding school aged 6.)
4. Aged 10. She has never recovered emotionally. Very insecure.
5. Age 6, lovely generous chap but again no idea what a family is or what he might do in one. Needed his wife to be at home and not out at work, so he knew where she was all the time. Very insecure. His children neglected and troubled.

Roomed with girl at Uni. She'd been sent to boarding school aged 8 as had her 3 sisters. Again lovely, needy girl but easily exploited/abused by her boy friends.

Maybe I'm just unlucky, having met so many for whom boarding didn't seem to work. The common denominator seems to be the young age so maybe it does work for 16-18 year olds?

Or, maybe it would work if they were older say teens and boarding during the week and came home for the weekend and could have emotional support then?

Many state schools in other European countries have a weekly boarding system where villages are far flung so children 11+ can't travel in everyday.

You are very naive if you think that there are no mobile phones at boarding schools! They all have burner phones hidden in drawers etc plus the terms are so short they have 19 weeks a year at home on their phones.
Look at what happened at a leading boarding school a couple of weeks ago resulting in the arrest of a pupil to give you an idea of current "pastoral care".

Or the tragic death at Woburn Abbey.

@CharlotteRumpling , yes of course Wycombe Abbey too.