Would you let your son meet a boy who racially abused him?

[BWJA921]

My 15 year old son was subject to racist abuse from another boy at his school for a year. We followed procedure, school were involved, the boy apologised half-heartedly and for the last 6 months 6 months we have heard no more about it.

Yesterday, my son said he'd planned to meet up with racist boy to complete a school media project which would require them to go to the woods / secluded areas to film. My son instigated this.

I have spoken to my son and explained that racism cannot be forgotten, and told him I was not comfortable with his meeting this boy. There were lots of tears. I asked him to consider if deep down he could ever see this boy as a person he can trust.

My son has since cancelled the meet up but I'm feeling guilty. My son hasnt got many friends and hes trying to expand his friendship group but I worry that he is picking wrong uns.

Please be gentle, I am feeling very raw. But what would you have done?

I have a girl, not a boy so I know it's different (you are right, I am not black, DD is mixed, she's adopted). So I'm learning. For her, there have been other stupid girls who've tried a single insult at an age when they perhaps don't know what it means. It also has depended whether they were parroting, must have heard it somewhere, or randomly describing awkwardly.
I have been happy to let her carry on in a group with them. Not as actual friends but I haven't pulled her out.
But as I say a) I'm learning and b) she's a girl.

And with the mum I discovered was racist, she got one chance and we don't see them any more.

@Dweetfidilove
Good for you and the very wise words you've written I know I sounded sharp but leopards in my truest experience like you said never change their spots; think about it, how can they?
Go Fowards Not Backwards and trust your gut instincts
They'll always stand you in good stead

@SpryCat
You don't think us black folks know that already as we go about our daily lives?
As we navigate others assumptions and dormant not too pleasant feelings towards us in some cases? So
"Steering Clear" is not as easy as you may think it is.

Steering clear was meant as not being friends or giving the lad another chance @QueenietheGreat

@SpryCat
Glad to hear that, and one day soon
Hopefully that boy will be hoisted by his own petard....