AIBU to object to my husband calling our children Black?

[MJJX]

I will start off by saying that I am a mixed-race (black/white) woman. My husband is fully white. We have 2 children (so far). Lately, I've found myself being very bothered that my DH tries to label our children as Black (as in solely Black). It makes me uneasy. He tells them that they're Black and tells other people that he has a Black wife and children when any discussion of race comes up. I want our children to be aware of their Black heritage, but I also recognise the reality. They're 25% Black. They're pale-skinned, straight/wavy hair, no Black features. I have a strong feeling that this is going to cause identity issues for them as they grow older. He's very Americanised (as he lived there for many years), and I feel like he adopted their attitude surrounding race and racial issues (as in their one-drop rule). To me, there is an element of racism to considering a person with any percentage (even 1%!) of Black heritage to simply be a Black person. I really just want him to stop, but other people have told me that it doesn't matter (which I completely disagree with). I think my feelings should matter. AIBU?

(I recognise that it is risky to mention race on MN, so please do not derail this thread with any unrelated arguments about race.)

I look indeterminate. You probably wouldn't think I am totally English but lots of people wonder if I am Spanish or Italian or Greek. My siblings very definitely look the ethnicity that they are. They are all much darker than me. And yes, some of them have had difficult times because of it.

This ⬆️

I believe the PP's point is that there is no such thing as Black passing OR white passing. If you are majority white or majority Black and look that race then you will be viewed as a white person or a Black person by society but can still honour the other part of your heritage. Most people who are being called (and calling themselves) white passing are white people with a small amount of Black ancestry. There are many white people (who identify as white and are identified by others as white) walking around with recent 'hidden' Black ancestry who are completely unaware of it because it does not show in their physical appearance. Should they stop identifying as white if they take an ancestry test and find some Black ancestry? If you consider white passing to be a legitimate concept then when does someone go from being white passing/mixed to just being white? 99% white? 95% white? 90% white? 85% white? 75% white?

I think most know the historical context behind the term, but that doesn't apply to present day. During that time in history, governments (particularly in the US) kept extensive documentation/records of each person's ancestors and each of their races (which is how people would be 'found out'). That is not happening today. This is also not our history and struggle in the UK so doesn't make sense for Brits to be using the term white passing and applying it to ourselves. We have always experienced racism but never a one drop rule in the UK historically. As the OP stated, that's only recently started to be imported from the US.

She can consider her daughter white and her son Asian if she feels that's most appropriate. Do you also tell people who have 3/4 black 1/4 white children that their children are not actually black and that they must consider their children mixed because of "diseases" that they could have inherited from their white side? 🤔😬 There are certain diseases that are more prevalent in European ethnic groups (cystic fibrosis, coeliac disease, thalassemia, etc), so it would be helpful to also consider those children mixed by your logic. I often find that people only argue this in one direction. It feels disingenuous and offensive to an extent.

That’s not what I mean. It’s the nonsensical “One Drop” rule which seeks to protect the purity of whiteness. “White passing” is a nonsense and using the term upholds white supremacy.

MM isn’t black though. She’s birracial.

Yes, a bit like Judaism which is religion of course though as well as culture & ethnicity. A child of a Jewish mother would be considered Jewish traditionally, whether their father also was or not.