Taking time off due to riots

[Sometimetomaself]

Hi, Black and Asian mumsnetters! How are you feeling? Is anyone else taking annual leave or sick leave this week?

I started feeling a certain dread over the last few days mainly starting last night and today I woke up feeling paralysed by fear, I’ve only just managed to force myself to clean the house because someone is due round later and I’d be too embarrassed to have the house looking grubby. I decided to call in sick and will be going for a nice shower next then doing some food shopping later to get out the house. Hoping my area is safe/OK. I’ll just be out briefly anyway.

A few years back if this had happened I’d have given myself a pep talk about being strong, but now I’m at the stage where I’m like no, I’ll do what’s best for me. Why push myself?

And quiet honesty at this time a part of resents working right now knowing me along with other taxpayers will pay for all these riots. While the rich agitators who have their money in tax havens will get off Scot free.

Btw, if you’re not a POC but are sympathetic feel free to comment but if you lack empathy and want to tell me to keep a stiff upper lip and carry on as normal, please don’t, people’s lives, safety and healthy are at risks. We are witnessing race riots.

sorry in advance for typos. I’m very tired 🥱

They have been contemptible but I hope they are beginning to wind down. There have been a lot of arrests and it's a relatively small number to start with. This isn't to dismiss your understandable concerns, but to hope that they have or will soon peak.

@BurnerName1 That’s what I thought but I’m hearing that there is more being organised on telegram. And the next round of riots will be tomorrow.

Hopefully that’s incorrect and you’re right 🙏🏾

Sorry I meant to add to my OP : daft posts like this will not be engaged with - not by me anyway.

I'm so very sorry that you are being made to feel this way by the actions of idiots and halfwits.
Please look after yourself and each other, until you can go about your normal life again. x
I'm that shade of white that is sort of translucent blue in winter - or I look like I've just been 'dug up' most of the time.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed that people who outwardly look like me, can have such an impact on decent folk. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry you're being made to feel this way. It's appalling.

I think by this weekend things will have turned around 🙏

There are riots 'planned' for this weekend but I think the police are moving really quickly to disrupt the hard-core of rioters. Others will be more stupid / impulsive / youngsters etc.

Thank you so much. I live alone and don’t go out much at the best of time but I’d recently been trying to attend meet-ups and go out with neighbours more etc so this has been a bit of a spanner in the works. Hopefully it’ll pass soon. I just wonder of any long term affects such as people being emboldened to shout racist abuse etc

Thanks @BurnerName1 and @PerkingFaintly 🙏🏾

Its not surprising some bored disaffected young people are joining in, but it’s especially appalling seeing people out there 25, 35, 50 + etc and many of them parents.

Whereabouts in the country are you op? I admit my first thought was overreaction to taking time off sick etc but I'm not a Poc and I live in a hugely diverse area. Are you worried about being caught up in a riot? Or related individual attacks? I can't see a lone woman getting attacked even by one of these horrible racist thugs.

I keep seeing people say 'check in with your POC friends' but I don't know what to say or do other than of course condemn these awful things and be an anti racist. What would matter to or help you right now?

Looking to understand and hope you feel better soon.

I am so sorry you are made to feel thus way.
I was chatting with my neighbour.. a person of colour and a nurse with the NHS in our local hospital.. she even looked after me when l was on her ward.
She kept saying thankfully they haven't any plans to riot in our City..but she did seem a tad nervous
We are 10 miles from Leeds.
Let's hope it's all dying down now.
There is talk of bringing the army in.

FO

Hi @Snoopdoggyd

I don’t want to be outing but I’m in the north of England. My nearest city had bad rioting and I saw footage of a POC being attacked by a gang of rioters. I take public transport, it’s obvious many of these boozed up folk will be going by bus or train etc so it’s not beyond the pale to imagine things could happen. I was very nearly caught out on Saturday as I hadn’t realised it was going on but thankfully I slept in and had decided not to go into the city. If I had, I would have been met with some terrible scenes.

An assault may be less likely but racist abuse being chanting at people is very common right about now .

And just as an FYI racist abuse - especially as a lone woman - is also very scary and frightening too. You don’t need to think you will have a boot in your face to be fearful of these riots.

I keep seeing people say 'check in with your POC friends' but I don't know what to say or do other than of course condemn these awful things and be an anti racist. What would matter to or help you right now?

Yes this sounds good. And for people to just keep an eye around them for anyone who is being harassed. Even if you can’t intervene yourself you may be able to point to a train conductor for example what’s going on.

Yanbu to look after yourself and put yourself first.

I can’t understand who these rioters are and where they are generally found (when not rioting) / what they do when they are not rioting. They are like a hidden underbelly of society. And some sort of organisation that has clearly “called them up” for these riots.

@Sometimetomaself if you know people who live alone see if they want to go out for a tea, coffee or whatever.

I've learn at times when people are having crap for any reason just being around and treating someone like normal helps them a lot.

Thank you for answering @Sometimetomaself. I'm really sorry you're feeling like this and I can understand the threat of verbal assault is awful too.

I would like to think I'd intervene if I saw something happening - not with the thug but I'd step in and check in on the victim and help them however I could.

I really hope things calm down and it rains heavily everywhere to put these idiots off!

Thank you.

I think the issue is this is being organised via telegram and we really don’t know where’s next. I hope it doesn’t come to that but if needs must, that’s what they must do.

I had a really hostile interaction with a local over the weekend in my actual town (not my nearest city) which is not ethnically diverse at all- it was the first time it’s happened and at the time I didn’t link it to anything other than a miserable angry person but now I’m second guessing myself. Why was I singled out?

That’s part of the issue - it all just makes you too hyper vigilant and unsure.

You shouldn’t have to take sick leave, your employer should be offering paid leave/wfh/taxi door to door. But since they clearly haven’t offered that, and perhaps they genuinely can’t afford to, sick leave sounds sensible. I hope you get paid. Remember that, if your employer uses the Bradford Scale, you’re better off taking a longer stretch than going back in and then being off again.

This.

You have to do what you have to do sis.

It's very interesting that people will come on this thread and tell you you're overreacting etc etc, but if it was any other issue impacting your mental health and making you fear for your safety the reaction would be different. They'd be telling you to "protect your peace", "look after yourself."

Typical that.

People take a bunch of quotes and cliches parroted online, but when it comes to racism, and how that affects your mental health, it doesn't apply.

Well I’m white and I’m glad I don’t live in a city. I wouldn’t want to witness the mindless thuggery, violence and looting let alone be racially abused.

@Reugny most of my friends are in London, I only moved here a year ago hence my recent drive to try and socialise more. I’m happy enough doing my own thing and having people visit now and again so I’ve actually been fine, I just thought meeting more people closer to my current location would be a bonus.

I've learn at times when people are having crap for any reason just being around and treating someone like normal helps them a lot.

Yes true that’s good advice. a good friend of mine is passing through where I live later this week on her way from a work trip going back up north (she’s more north than me) and she wants to meet for coffee so I’ll probably do that and I’m sure it’ll help a lot.

Remember that, if your employer uses the Bradford Scale, you’re better off taking a longer stretch than going back in and then being off again.

Yes true. I’ll look up the Bradford scale but I think I know roughly what it is from context and I think my employer does use that or something similar ie. You’re more likely to get pulled up for lots of short absences than one longer one?

I am so sorry to hear this @Sometimetomaself

I am not a poc, however my DD is married to a lovely guy of Pakistani origins and I have been worried for the both of them. Last night he had arranged to play darts at what is a st.georges flag type pub. I was on edge for him, luckily all ok.

But I get your nervousness totally.

However I have just heard my DDs office is closed tomorrow because of planned racist riots where the office is 😮

I have posted on Black MN board before but under another name, I had to change because of constant PAs

Stay safe OP, it's awful what is going on at the moment. In the real world, and here on MN sadly

If you can't work from home, then I completely agree you should do whatever you need to keep safe

My team (mostly WFH) has just cancelled an in person meeting in a city this week.