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Original poster

Underwear washing

58 replies

alilstressed · 18/04/2022 08:46

Looking for perspective from other Black mothers. At what age did you learn to hand-wash your underwear? If you have a daughter, when will you teach her to hand-wash her underwear?
My children's father is 'shocked' that I have no immediate plans to teach my daughter how to hand-wash her knickers.

OP posts:
RedWingBoots · 19/04/2022 14:11

At what age did you learn to hand-wash your underwear?
I was specifically taught to hand wash my underwear I was taught to hand wash clothes at about 8 as it meant that I would never be stuck not having clean clothes if the washing machine broke down or I wanted to only wash one item e.g. school shirt.

If you have a daughter, when will you teach her to hand-wash her underwear?
When I think she is sensible enough not to make a mess. I think one of my brothers was taught to hand wash at 5.

WeDontTalkAboutBrunoNoNoNo · 19/04/2022 15:15

Gosh I don't even remember when I was taught, it was something that I grew up knowing about and sowing but it faded out of habit, no doubt due to relying on the convenience of a washing machine. Hadn't even thought about it until this thread! Must teach my own DD sooner rather than later, I suspect periods on on the not too distant horizon so the timing would be good.

Try as I might though, I have NEVER been able to replicate the sound that my mother is able to make when hand washing, I honestly feel like I've failed at life because of this Blush

WeDontTalkAboutBrunoNoNoNo · 19/04/2022 15:18

Doing, not sowing*

WildBactrian · 19/04/2022 16:19

I have NEVER been able to replicate the sound that my mother is able to make when hand washing,

Same!

Maggiethecat · 19/04/2022 16:51

@WeDontTalkAboutBrunoNoNoNo and @WildBactrian - lots of soap and bubbles 🤣

debbrianna · 19/04/2022 18:07

Not sure when but I know how to do it if I need to. To be honest, it's not something I have continued doing becuase it's a waste of my time. I will re-wash in the machine analysis. The bonding being talked about I never experienced that. Growing up, where you did your own laundry both in school and at home. Once I had the chance to use a washing machine, everything goes in the small pillow case mesh looking thing for socks, bras and underwear to protect it from damage.
I have no intention specifically teaching dd how to only do undies but general hand wash as life skill will be taught.

A friend reminded me of this a few weeks ago when they mention something going wrong while they were in shower, my first reaction was who does that. As in wash nickers before entering the shower or bath when I have a laundry basket next to me. I didn't think it's something people did and unless thry were delicate silk or something.

Mn has proven me wrong. It's coming across as something people do enjoy.

debbrianna · 19/04/2022 18:12

Anyone who wants that sound, needs to use Ariel or Pursil detergent. One of them is the same product as OMO washing powder marketed under a different name. The more bubbles and soft water the better.

RedWingBoots · 19/04/2022 18:59

@debbrianna some women use period knickers. Now if I did I wouldn't be putting them in the washing machine with my other clothes especially on a low temperature wash...

Chocolatier9 · 24/04/2022 10:45

I think I was eight when I was taught. Certainly before I went away to school.

When I went to visit my favourite aunt a few years ago, she asked me after my shower if I’d washed them. Because I may have been a capable woman in my mid thirties, but as I was born overseas and read too much, she had to check! 😂

Chocolatier9 · 24/04/2022 10:50

@debbrianna, did you ever get blisters on your hands when you use these products for hand washing? I did, so I stopped. Maybe the formulas have changed now though - it was a long time ago.

Delectable · 24/04/2022 19:29

Lovely post I've stumbled on this Sunday evening.

I probably learnt handwashing my panties about 8years old. I don't think I washed my clothes myself till I left W.Africa about age 28. I still wash my panties by hand, some bras as well as silk, cashmere and some wool too.

I'm seldom satisfied with results using the washing machine especially for bedding. I can go on about WMs. Lol! I tend to soak or do a pre-wash and always add on extra rinse for towels and clothes that fit close to the skin.

I used to ensure I have powder detergent from W.A but I feel it's horrid for the skin. The bar soap doesn't lather (similar to Castile Soap (American) cos of water hardness). I now use Tesco's liquid soap for delicate fabric and it works ok.

I'm so looking forward to teaching my daughters about washing their panties and all my children about handwashing clothes.

Between the age of 5 and 8 with different levels of supervision is about right. Handwashing is a life skill as is dish washing. I've explained over and over again to my DH that dishes aren't clean if there's foam all over them but the English hold on to their own ways too. 🤗

Maggiethecat · 24/04/2022 20:59

@Delectable - 😂
I’ve never been able to fathom this habit of leaving soap suds on washed dishes!

Delectable · 24/04/2022 22:17

@Maggiethecat I should probably start a thread about that. It should be an interesting debate. 😄

Maggiethecat · 24/04/2022 22:59

@Delectable - you’re braver than I!

allinadaystwerk · 06/05/2022 21:49

The sound of the soapy scrubbing.. in Jamaica we call it scrib scribs.. 😄

A3285633 · 10/05/2022 09:36

Delectable ha ha that’s not an “English” way …… sounds more like a DH with dubious hygiene standards to me

WildBactrian · 11/05/2022 22:34

Lots of people take the dishes out the soapy water and put them straight onto the draining board. I've never understood it, since you wouldn't get out of the bath and dry yourself with the soap still on your body.😦

A3285633 · 12/05/2022 00:49

Maybe, but lots of people don’t

Kanaloa · 12/05/2022 01:31

I don’t think she specifically matters but when you feel you should/can. I don’t tend to do anything by age - some children do things at x age while others can’t do it until much older.

It’s all about your daughter’s (and your) comfort/energy/when you want to do it, not your husband. So let him be ‘shocked’ and make your plans when they suit you. I often find men are all too skilled at being ‘shocked’ when women aren’t doing xyz but rarely hear a woman listing all the things a man ‘should’ be doing.

Kanaloa · 12/05/2022 01:31

That’s supposed to say I don’t thing AGE matters.

Kanaloa · 12/05/2022 01:33

Also it’s hardly as if it’s time sensitive. Like if you teach your 2 year old they’ll know. If you wait till they’re 12 they’ll learn then. If you forget to teach them they can easily learn at 22. So I’m not sure why her father would be ‘shocked’ you haven’t taught her yet.

WildBactrian · 13/05/2022 19:29

@ A3285633 Well obviously lots of people don't, but that doesn't negate my point that lots of people do!

TeaAddict235 · 13/05/2022 19:52

I think my mum taught me around 10-11, so that by secondary school it was firmly in practice. It coincided with the talk about periods and I suppose bodily fluids if I remember correctly. I distinctly remember her saying that in addition to my period (which nobody should ever see on a pair of knickers), women's bodies also secrete mucus to clean the vagina, and that it also is something nobody else ever needs to see. But she didn't want me (or my sisters for that matter) to waste time pre soaking and handwashing like she had to. She used to tell us just to throw everything straight into the washing machine (she had bought us black or dark blue period knickers to mark the occasion) and she would add other dark coloured clothes to the wash. Then we were to hang up the drying undies on the clothes horse in doors and the rest of the washing would go outside on the line.

At uni I often had to sweep away the drying clean knickers off my bedroom radiator if I had guests. Also had to recently remind my little sis to do the same when I went to visit her. I didn't want my 2 sons or DH 'knowing all her business'.

So even today I do the odd hand wash of undies, and am completely bemused by male (white) friends who have daughters and boast that they do "all" the household washing. I often see my neighbour hanging out the underwear, and I ask myself if his student aged daughter is comfortable with her undies on show.

TeaAddict235 · 13/05/2022 19:53

*practise

Kanaloa · 13/05/2022 20:31

At uni I often had to sweep away the drying clean knickers off my bedroom radiator if I had guests. Also had to recently remind my little sis to do the same when I went to visit her. I didn't want my 2 sons or DH 'knowing all her business'.

Surely your husband and sons already know their auntie/sil wears knickers? It’s hardly some horrible secret that has to be frantically hidden from fragile male eyes. It’s not a healthy dynamic to be ‘reminding’ a young female relative to hide away any evidence of her period so as not to offend or embarrass male relatives.

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