Anyone else find talking about racism impossible?

[HideItClear]

You know, I feel like the worst thing about experiencing racism is the gaslighting that comes alongside it. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced racism, spoken about it openly and had it acknowledged. I was once told that I must be making it up because “racism in the UK is rarer than a road traffic accident”. I have also been told “unless you attended a place with nothing but Nigel Farage supporters, overt racism doesn’t exist, only micro aggressions”.

I can’t be bothered with it anymore. I’m tired of it. So, not only should I experience racism (including overt racism), but I’m not allowed to acknowledge that I’ve experienced it? Instead of reprimanding me for speaking about my own life experiences, why don’t any of these people spend their time and energy reprimanding the racist people that force me to discuss such topics? It’s not like I just wake up everyday planning to speak about race and race related issues, it’s not fun for me and it’s not something I enjoy, I do it out of necessity because I’m not going to allow someone to racially abuse me and get away with it.

I hear you. I'm sorry. You deserve better.

I’m sorry you are experiencing this, racism is sadly not rare, it just doesn’t look like what people expect. There is still a great deal to be learnt.
It must be exhausting.

OP I'm not black so apologies if I'm intruding on this thread but I wanted to say that I believe you and I'm sorry that's been your experience. I think, as women, we experience this on a lesser scale with sexism too. But I can't imagine how tiring and demoralising it must be to deal with it on two fronts.

I hear you. It's so bloody tiring.

It's exhausting and demoralising. When we say anything that doesn't agree with the popular view such as criticising the racism in Ukraine we are told to keep it in perspective!
Accepting the that racism exists doesn't fit the( false) narrative of of inclusiveness that many people like to portray

It's exhausting that as Black women we know that racism is not rare and we experience it everyday but to be visibly pissed off is more of a crime because you are upset about something that isn't the obvious pitchforks and name calling. At work, the worst offenders could not possibly see themselves as racist as they are polite and respectful, thank you very much, but no promotion for you as you are obviously annoyed about something-or-other and it makes us uncomfortable. Gaslighting indeed @HideItClear . I truly despair, it's getting harder and harder to deal with tbh☹️

I hear you. Gaslighting and dog whistles.

I'm in the fortunate position these days, that I don't have to share a workplace with these thickos.

However, there are younger people in the family, and I care very much about how they will navigate through all this crap. We spend a lot of time together, and I try to build them up to love and value who they are.

I rarely engage on the main boards with the usual racist frothers. E.g the ones who throw the word " woke" around as a sneery insult. Not because I'm intimidated, it's just that I can't have a serious discussion with someone I imagine to be wearing a pointy white bedsheet over their head.

My favourite frother is the one who loves to dogwhistle wibble on about "crt" at any opportunity. She, or he, elbows it in to anything possible.

I like to think that someone like Reni Eddo-Lodge must have beaten them to the last spinach quiche in the local deli or summat. Or they read one of her books, and it made them very cross indeed.

The last spinach quiche encounter has then informed their entire (wrong) thinking about All Things Black.

Taylor's of Harrogate tea bags changed shape? All the fault of critical race theory.
Gas prices gone up? Blame Megan Markle
Cbeebies gone a bit diverse? All the fault of BLM

Sometimes, when I'm feeling jolly, I advance search them to see what rubbish they've written today, just for the laugh.

Best I ever had on here, was the night a plopper on BMN, created the user name Embroidery purely to troll me. What a seriously messed up person to go to all that trouble trying to find an antonym just for me.
Lol!

Yep. The thread on here the other day about the guy sentenced for his racist tweet to Rashford was disgusting. Everyone falling over themselves to say 'oh come on it's not bad, we wimmin have it much worse!!!'

They'll bring the trans argument into anything

The "have it much worse" claims are ridiculous. Lowest common denominator. I'm sure these people have never turned down a pay rise because there are people who's earnings are much worse.

And those saying "we wimmin" to a Board established with Black women and Black families in mind, demonstrate their othering very clearly.

Why I'm no longer talking to white people about race...

I used to think that having friends of all races was good, until you realise how much racism you face everyday that they 1) either never notice or 2) never challenge.
They live a different life in the end.

I've been gaslit all my live but it's so tiring. I just avoid and isolate now, even though I shouldn't have to.

Mumsnet is very racist, I hardly post nowadays. It's just too frustrating and disappointing.

@flirtygirl. Hey we hear you. But don't be on your own please. Always OK to pm if you don't want to talk on the Board here.

Thanks blackandgreen

I think the issue is whi you discuss the topic with... there's many people that will say they don't understand and they don't see this. Waste of time OP if people start off like that just leave it because some people will not hear.

Let's be honest if you haven't experienced racism to some degree you can't truly understand.

Some people will not hear as you say, @Dairymilk50.
Sometimes, best to ignore, impossible to argue with idiots.
(Although I do tend to respond on here, as it's our safe space, which seems to upset the odd frother . )

I'm hiding that "feminist" board today. The misogynoir on the thread about black women is so ingrained most of the posters there can't see it or don't want to see it. And It's all about what is wrong with black women and OUR thinking. Hardly sisterly in tone. As if black women are all the same.

So very sad to read it, and the barely disguised hatred there from some.
As I've learned on there, no point in engaging, more concerned about my grammar and spelling than my words.

🖤

I was on a thread earlier, that has now gone poof. The amount of racist comments on there was just awful. What is wrong with people? Honestly I despair sometimes. The racist posters can not seem to contain there feelings. So sad. Instead of trying to understand or listen, all they do is double down.

EchoNan, Do not let it get you down. Enjoy your day.

Ah perhaps it's the thread I saw. None of the regulars dared to call it out. I didn't even bother to report. It was so vile emuloc.

Although there is always another thread along later just in case we missed the earlier one.

Sometimes it's better to let others see for themselves. For me, it gets like groundhog day, watching their racism flow past like a polluted river. Certain types love to bathe in those waters, and cover themselves in shit.
We can all smell it when they come out. It sticks to them in everything they do in everyday life.

I'm out for a walk for some fresh air.

@emuloc and a big Easter egg too x

Thanks EchoNan. No chocolate for me tough, I am more than satisfied with my bun and cheese.

Another thread deleted and OP banned.
It must be the proud gals day out today.

Oh well, we shouldn't get the Hump.