Please could you advise on dd’s Afro hair during lockdown

[Alakazam8]

I usually have dd’s (11) hair braided as she likes it long. Obviously at the moment hairdressers are no go but had to remove the braids she had yesterday.
I have tried looking at videos and tips elsewhere online and not managed to find a style that stays in place and looks neat and tidy for school. I haven’t managed to learn how to cornrow/canerow braid myself yet.
Im looking for a quick style, or a few that I can do in the morning before school- dd has learning difficulties so anything quick is better for her.
Can anyone give me some ideas or point me towards some really simple styles I could try for her hair, it’s just above her shoulders if that’s any help!

I use cantu curl cream liberally to brush it out and then a strong bryl cream (or coconut oil) and scrape my hair back into a pony tail. I then clip the tail with a claw. It’s probably not the healthiest thing to do daily to a child but could work in the short term. Depends on now her hair takes oil.

Thanks that sounds like one option- I’ve got cantu products in, do you find coconut oil holds it? I think I’d try that with a scrunchie not a claw though. Am trying to protect her hair as much as I can- it’s beautiful. She won’t wear it just loose though- and can’t for school obv.
Does bryl cream damage the hair at all- I won’t use gel as I’ve been told it can damage the hair but often wonder how some styles look so sleek...

Could you braid her hair yourself with her own hair?
Redo it once a week. If she has type 4 hair maybe twists would be better.
Something like this

That would be good to try next weekend. I’m not sure if I could get the partings as neat.
Particularly as keeping still is not dd’s strong point.
I noticed on the video she uses edge control gel for the style. I really want to avoid that if possible- hopefully the style would hold without gel
Twists would be lovely if I could work them out. Feel like I’m letting her down....

My DD is only 3, so I tend to put her natural hair in plaits that I do myself. I wash her hair weekly, then use a bit of coconut oil and this amazing natural cream that is made by a Black lady. I usually section DD's hair into between 8-12 areas, then plait each one. Occasionally, instead of plaits I will leave it out in Afro puffs, however I tend not to as it is usually a people magnet (DD has a lot of Afro hair!).

This is the cream we use:

https://www.chantelsachanna.com/?utmcampaign=8bc9cd12-63fb-406c-8113-556b0d968670&utmmsource=so&utmmedium=mail&cid=5f4fbc85-5bf7-42a2-8c88-147d9cc19f5d

@Alakazam8

Thanks that sounds like one option- I’ve got cantu products in, do you find coconut oil holds it? I think I’d try that with a scrunchie not a claw though. Am trying to protect her hair as much as I can- it’s beautiful. She won’t wear it just loose though- and can’t for school obv. Does bryl cream damage the hair at all- I won’t use gel as I’ve been told it can damage the hair but often wonder how some styles look so sleek...

It depends on her hair. I’m an Indian with afro hair so my hair is type 4 but the coils are between type b (wide) and type c (medium) so coconut oil and bryl cream work ok on me. It’s not as good as getting it chemically straightened first but even before lockdown my hairdresser wanted me to stop that as my hair was becoming really fragile.

Type b medium and type c small lol. I have lost my ability to use the alphabet today

OP: If your daughter has a looser texture like the girl in the video then braiding will be more suitable because twists unravel easily on loose hair.
Try using shea butter, gel is not needed. Partings do not need to be perfect, you can do it. You could even just do 4 thick braids, part the hair into 4 sections, 2 in the front and 2 in the back and pull them up together in a hair bobble. Black hair is so easy. It's easy to redo everyday.
Or part the hair into 2 sections with a low sided braid on each side like Alice in wonderland. That is also easy to repeat and keep neat daily.

She does have a looser texture but not quite as loose and the girl in the video. Will try some Shea butter. Thanks for the great suggestions- have been feeling so daunted. I’ll go for simple this week and have a go at some plaiting at the weekend. Will have a look at the cream you recommended @Starseeking as I would rather by products made by black businesses for her where possible.
I find partings tricky as never seem to get smooth edges like in videos but will try some Shea butter for those as well.
Thanks for being so welcoming and supportive- want dd to be proud of her hair, not pick up on my concerns!

So tried @DivineRoyalty ‘s suggestion of 4 sections today. It worked ok and wasn’t too difficult for either of us. There are parts of shorter hair around the edges that won’t go in when I put them in ponytail bands. Would the Shea butter control them more?
She was happy with it today which is the main thing I suppose!
Thanks again

Do not worry about trying to control the edges. They are quite fragile and too much handling of them can cause them to thin out and become patchy, or break off. I would use a soft baby brush and go over very lightly once the hair is styled, with the brush, if you feel you need too. I would use a brush for babies as they are very soft. I would not use any edge control or the like, you could just use some water with conditioner in it in a spritzy bottle, just to dampen the edges a little. I do not think it is a good thing for young black girls to feel like every hair should be in place and sleeked down to perfection tough.

Also the more you plait the hair, the easier it gets. Don't worry, there are lots of women here on this board who can help you.

I agree with @C130 regarding edge control, I've never understood it. Afro hair is by default curled into various degrees of coil; it was never designed to lay flat and straight against our heads.

When I plait my daughters hair, I make sure all her hair is together, but I never slick down the front. Not because she's 3, but because I'm not going to try and turn Afro hair into something it's not. I treat my own hair in exactly the same way.

Embrace the curls!

You’ve no idea how reassuring these posts are. Dd just got home and has a few loose bits around the edges but otherwise it’s fine. Will try to be more relaxed about it. I’ve heard so much about edge control it’s made me worry about it more. I’ve got Shea butter now-arrived today.
How best to use that please, on sections before plaiting it or just on edges?
I love her curls- just want her hair to look clean (which is does), shiny (mainly does)and in a nice style for school/home. (this is what I find hard!)

Use a spray bottle, moist her hair with water and apply shea butter all over. Use a soft bristle brush to lay the hair down whilst styling after it has already been detangled.

Thanks @DivineRoyalty. Would I detangle first as a separate step or detangle after applying the Shea?

I’ll get a soft bristle brush too for smoothing it as I think that might really help.
Thanks again for all the advice so far.

I would advise detangling with water first and then apply shea butter.

I spritz with water then use coconut oil or castor oil. Then later, a Leave-In Conditioner, any that is parabens-free is good. I have the 'Tangle Teezer Thick n Curly" detangling hairbrush...right now I'd be lost without it.

You'll find your way through, it's trial and error then you get used to it. Water is key, and not saturating the hair with products or over-combing/brushing there's no need really.

There are some very good "protective styling" haircare clips on YouTube, great for beginners, simple but really nice hairstyles too

Please don’t worry about her having to look “neat and tidy” for school. As long as she is comfortable and her hair isn’t being damaged at the moment at the moment it’s a case of doing the best you can.

If school think her natural Afro hair is untidy, that’s their problem and they need to educate themselves.

OP, are you not black? You might have said somewhere and i missed it. I ask because you appear to be asking the question as someone who doesn't have personal experience with black hair. If so, I'm wondering, do you have black women in your community / family / friendship group who can help? Many of the qs you're asking would be better answered by someone who knows your daughters hair.

I'd also say that most white children do not have perfect hair for school. They have littke bits that fly away, especially around the temple etc. I'm wondering whether you are holding your daughters hair to a higher standard of neatness (if so, im also wondering why).

French braids are just the inside out version of canerows. You can definitely do them.

Thanks for the info re hair styling. I probably haven’t been using enough water on it.
I’d rather not go in to my situation in too much detail on here for a variety of reasons sorry @samosamo but understand your points.
I just wanted some advice so that I feel I can improve things for dd who is missing her usual hairstyles. Maybe I could do cane rows with more practice but can’t as yet!

@DeeCeeCherry, thanks for the helpful info will have another look on YouTube for those types of hairstyles.

It definitely depends on your daughters hair porosity and texture . Some hair dont need as much moisture as others. You will see what works and what dont. If her hair is on the dryer side try adding a bit of leave in conditioner in the spray bottle. It also depends on how often her hair is washed. If it is washed daily then leave in conditioner should be applied daily.

I wash her hair once a week (co wash 2in 3 washes)
I tried the Shea butter this morning and didn’t have much success- think I needed to microwave it to soften it first- another rookie mistake. Ordered soft hair brush now and have water spray sorted- might add some conditioner to it as her hair does seem dry. Do I need to wash the Shea butter out each day or is it ok to leave it in?

No, don't wash the Shea Butter out and only use a little. Yes, soften it first. Keep an eye out to see if it makes your DD's hair more manageable for you/her. It should do but if it doesn't, you could switch to Mango Butter as it's lighter. I find it much better than Shea but, we're all different.

Add Leave-In Conditioner to haircare routine. Get a "moisture boost" and/or detangling one. It's not a Black hair product but Aussie Miracle leave-in works well enough on my hair.

Thanks @DeeCeeCherry for all the advice you’ve given me on the thread. It’s good to have a back up if Shea butter doesn’t work for us. Will look at mango butter if needed. I do use a leave in conditioner and hair masque occasionally too for her. I’ll give Aussie miracle a try too as I like that myself. I have found a simple style on you tube that we both like and I think I can do so will have a go at the weekend.