Racist forum discussion on black female

[CarHire101]

So was looking into forums which discuss black issues in addition to this one.

www.overclockers.co.uk/forums/threads/single-black-female-love-island-and-the-problem-with-race-and-dating.18823985/page-2

Literally came across this website and was shocked at the discussion. I reported the thread to the website. It just makes me really sad that young black woken/girls could stumble upon this and read such hatred and blatant racism. It brings back all the memories of my teen and young adulthood days when I really questioned my attractiveness, considered cosmetic surgery and basically suffered insecurity and anxiety.

Have I overreacted...

Woken = women

Nope you haven't overreacted it is disgusting.

The thing is we know this type of thing exists online and in real life, I personally wouldn't share it because it just causes further trauma. I doubt any Black woman reading that will not have heard those things written before so yeah I wouldnt share it for the sake of not wanting to further crush our spirits.

(By the way, Black women are beautiful and I dont care about what anyone else has to say)

Once I hit half cast, I couldn't go any further. I think it's sad. I get preferences but preferences don't happen in a vacuum which is what people fail to understand.

Sigh. No Hope's of changing people like that's opinion. Balanced media representation hopefully will broaden people's minds and and free the younger generations. Conversations like this create a lot of self hate as well. I want better for everyone..
I have black boys and I don't care who they date but I want it to be for the right reasons - not to swear off black women because of what they hear and constantly being told how unattractive they are everywhere he goes and internalizing that message. I want him to date a black, white, mixed, Asian or Latina eomen because he finds her attractive and engaging not because he has sworn off a whole race of women because of what the media tells him everyday. I want him to love his own features reflected back in a woman and not find them disgusting. I don't want him to limit himself because he believes this stuff. Equally l dont want him fetishized nor do I want any black woman fetishized because it is dehumanising

I want black women to love themselves and know how beautiful they are- not constantly be told this crap. This is why we carve spaces for ourselves and then almost always those who are privileged and who society caters to, insist we share those spaces in the name of fairness. Don't you get it? This is what we are dealing with everyday!

Hi Op
I get how you feel we black woman are acctrative despite the lack of representation of us in the past in popular media culture,
Thankfully things are changing there is a shift happening long overdue, haven't you noticed in high st book stores like water stones,and wh smith,and even in Morrison's supermarket,there has been recently last few months mags high profile ones like Cosmo,and their has been quite a few/lot of mag editor s clamouring to have black people,black woman on front covers mags on front shelf an behind shelf,I have been so susprising, that I have taken photos on my mob,bit geeky,I know l.o.l😊
Also in the main high st book stores books on black history/black culture, on stands right near the entrance of the stall,even seen black culture/black historical iconic people children book,at my local wh Smith
I was stunned I was tempted to buy too,but I have already got a few children/family storybooks,
A few yrs ago,
I never saw books/mag only occasionally, growing up as a teen in the early 80s,
I even saw a sindy doll depicating the fashion model from our culture,who has skin pigmentation melain patches on her face,
Sorry I can't rember her name,I saw a the doll by the check out express tills at my local Asda store,I live in s.wales.
I have had real shit experinces relating to how my features campare to western narrow representation of beauty. .

Frankly it pisses me off this kind of crap,from main media,not only as black woman we have to deal with usaul,general,census, beauty like white woman,deal with too, such as being judged on our body weight,and other ways,issues woman are judged on,but we have to deal with racist mistonginstic,(Arsehole judgementsin of our facial features,
I get pissed off when someone touches,strokes my hair, I had this happen few times both male and females.(have you had this kind of crap?
They never do this to a white woman,I am not a pet dog..
I have also experienced once I went to a women's only event it was one of those Ann Sumner parties at my local pub at that time,
And this Scottish woman,said when they said it was time for any male regulars of the pub to go and sit in the next room,this random Scottish woman said to me that she wondered why I didn't join the men next door as she thought I was a man, she apologised to me a few times,and to try and make it up to me,she started to say,how she had sympathy for black slaves being mistreated, (she had the audaicity to say/ask me if she could have my mob tel no..

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to vent my spleen how angry,hurt, pissed off I feel you are not alone feeling like you do,

I think you should ignore, black women are more attractive. I've been told that since i migrated to this country and was approached to model several times in my younger days. I can't say more on why we are more attractive as last time i mentioned the reasons the thread was pulled down on mumsnet

I'm amazed at the Scottish woman's comments. As a black woman i've been told by other races except chinesethat i'm slim and attractive with a nice smile and lovely curves....Ignore.

I reported this thread when I looked at the link. It is still here. I do not think that it is in the interest, or helpfull to black women to keep reading this narrartive. Black women are always being told in one way or another of how others view them.

I think this is a good forum to discuss issues black women face. Why are we hiding our heads in the sand about these issues? Why must the thread be pulled down?

@C130 i thought the same too initially, I just thought it was spreading negativity towards black women. However after reading the posts here, I do think this is a good space to allow Black women to express themselves when it comes to our womanhood and beauty. For me personally it was really upsetting to read and I would not have shared the link.

I agree with @TellItToTheStars I also believe that Black women are beautiful but this beauty is not appreciated by the mainstream media or the western world. That's okay with me though because I still feel beautiful and know that mainstream media or western beauty standards were not conjured up with my beauty in mind.

Let's use this space to lift up ourselves and contnue to appreciate our beauty because we know we can't leave that job to the wider society we will live.

Thank you @babynumber2pending i agree, black women are beautiful and we should celebrate our beauty. I enjoy being a black woman. I love my curves, my full lips, my skin tone, my personality. I read that queen of Sheba was a beautiful black woman who slept with King Solomon. This fact fascinated me. In the olden days black women were seen as beautiful.

Also, a good example for us to look at is Michelle Obama, she is an attractive black woman. Do i need to say more?

Ok babynumber2pending I take your point regarding this thread. I agree with you that the European ideology regarding what is deemed beautiful did not include black women. I guess at least here we can talk about it .

Off the back of hating black women, they say a lot of shit about women in general, and women of other specific races. There are even offensive comments about disabled and gay people. Imagine devoting your life to such a man 🤮. Yes, they should stay well away from us!

I doubt any Black woman reading that will not have heard those things written before
Sad but true

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However, based on the discussion here, In my view, there are beautiful and ugly black women just as there are beautiful and ugly women of all races. The problem arises when black women are generally considered not to be attractive.

I do get annoyed with my black sisters who go heavy on the make up with false hair galore and really over the top eye lashes.

Black skin really does not need caked up make up and long unnaturally looking weaves. For me, black women look unattractive with all that fakery but really strikingly beautiful the more subtle their makeup and natural/traditional their hair (whether that is braids, relaxer or natural Afro).

How does society define an ugly woman or man? Are we to define this as what we believe is attractive in our eyes regarding their looks. For me attractiveness can be affected by personality too.

I’m not keen on the word ugly to describe a person. I like to think there is some form of beauty in most people but may not be what society classes as beauty when judging someone by their looks.

Unfortunately the society we live in today seems to be even more obsessed by the exterior of a person with little thought regarding the impact this has on a persons mental health.

@sugarlost it would be nice if the word ugly was never used to describe a person’s outward appearance but for good or ill it is part of society.

We can get philosophical about what is meant by ugly and how society decides who is and who isn’t ugly.

For now, let’s roll with how our brains normally conceive of beauty. There are good looking and ugly in all races. Even if you changed the standard of what constitutes good looking or ugly it would still be the case that there will be good looking and ugly in all races unless we all agree that everyone is good looking or ugly.

In any case, there is more to life than your race. Most surely whatever youthful looks you have, when you age, that youthful beauty will fade. Those who rely on beauty for their self worth often become depressed when time takes its toll on their faces.

@IamthatIam I'm surprised that Ugly is still used to describe a person's appearance but sadly many things in this life surprise me in a negative way.

I agree depression is a big factor in losing ones looks especially if they heavily relied on their appearance in life for self worth.

The racist forum targeting black women's appearance. I think it's interesting that many non black women fake tan, would like fuller lips, a curvier bottom.... what many black women have naturally. I guess if society says something is fashionable many are influenced. Regarding advertising featuring more people of colour...I've noticed more since BLM. I think again because it's fashionable and many companies want to make as much money as possible and tick the right boxes. It's a bit too little too late for me. The high end stores using people of colour but some security guards still tend to target people of colour as potential thieves when they enter the store..a stores was even outed as having code words for black people entering the store.
I remember the incident with Oprah trying to buy a Hermes bag....

Wish I hadn't bothered clicking, didn't make it past the first page! Urgh.

‘Why blacks insist’ ffs
OP you didn’t over react. It’s sickening. Fucking awful men.

Yes,the white standard of beauty has its problems, but by gum, they're mesmerizing. As are asian and Latino women.

Here we go.

This was the whole point of that post.

Hi op,
I know this post is old but I couldn't just read and go.
As a white women with mixed race children I do find racism is a key issue.
My eldest daughter who at the time was 11/12 for called a bush monkey because of her lovely Afro hair. ( this was said by a white boy). At the time my daughter didn't understand what that meant so when she told me I went straight to the headteacher and ofsted and complained about the racial slur.

Upon having my children I have seen so much racism. Even down my my OH being stopped and searched, or pulled over in his car because of the colour of his skin. I know this isn't going so much on tour post but I thought I would share.

OP all black women are beautiful, don't let no1 tell you any different. What annoys me the most is white women want to be black.

The media make out like white women are so superior. We are not. People need to do there history. It's sickens me so much.

AIBU? For some reason, a post upthread caused me to visualise an elderly white man, ensconced in his "man cave" away from "the missus", slobbering over well thumbed magazines of a certain genre. Going to all that bother of inventing an alter ego on MN, just to post here.

How tediously pathetic some ploppers are.
By gum