Help with my daughter's hair

[absolutehush]

My daughter has absolutely lovely hair but I'm really struggling to take care of it. She's mixed race and my hair (straight, fine, rubbish) means I have no idea what I'm doing! Her Da is no use - he's bald!

She has very soft, fine hair but with real curl. I can post a photo if you like. I use cantu and wash it only once a so a week when I have to (butter, yoghurt and mud went on it today)... I use leave in conditioner as well, through the week.

But it is noticeably shorter at the side/back where she sleeps on it.

What can I do? She's not yet two so doesn't have a pillow/duvet and I'm too paranoid for her to sleep in a bonnet..

Silk cot bed sheets? Do they exist? Are they expensive? I'm broke!!!

I can post a photo of her hair if useful!

Sorry about the typos

I never would have used a Denman until I saw it recommended so many times on the Curly Girl pages. I was using a wide tooth comb which is what I use for my hair, but my curl pattern is much looser, probably a 3A, whereas he's got his tight curly coils from his dad. With the wide tooth comb, I wasn't actually managing to get a lot of the knots out as the teeth to the comb were too wide apart so his hair still looked untidy after a wash. Since using the Denman, his hair has looked beautiful. I only ever use it when his hair is wet and completed coated in conditioner though. Otherwise, I finger comb on refresh days.

This is the one we have: www.amazon.co.uk/Denman-Classic-Handbag-Styling-Hairbrush/dp/B0002Z8QHC

The big game changer for us though has been the conditioner bar. It's something I never would have entertained until I saw SO many recommendations on Little CGs UK page on Facebook and it's honestly transformed his hair. I can't believe a £5 bar can make such a difference. I had been paying £20+ for leave in conditioners!

@absolutehush

Sorry I didn't tag you in my last post to make sure you get a notification.

This is the comb I use for my own hair which is a looser curl pattern - www.ebay.co.uk/itm/333828044931

If his hair is particularly tangled before wash day, I wet my hands, run them through his hair until damp, and then put a liquid leave in conditioner on, and I use the wide tooth comb to comb the damp conditioned hair. This is because it doesn't take out all of the knots so I know it won't cause any breakage but it makes it look much tidier if he's had a rough night xx

Are you brushing her hair dry or just damp op? In my experience (mum used to just spray a bit of conditioner then brush my hair which really hurt) it needs to be wet. Then worked (combed or brushed - I have both but prefer a wide toothed comb) through in sections. Then conditioner applied everyday.

I also can't sleep with my hair down, it must be tied up or it will really matt at the back. Is it long enough to tie up? I can't quite tell from the photos, sorry.

I use a comb very similar to Token's link and have a denman brush too. Although I only tend to use the brush when once in a blue moon I fancy straightening my hair (to freak the kids out!) as it interferes with my curl. My hair is quite long through.

I wouldn't personally use an afro comb on her hair.

Ok - I have one of those Denman brushes and will try! I've been brushing after loads and loads of leave in conditioner because t will try in the bath (bound to be a nightmare and very wet) but I think you're right about about the knots not being got out.

Having asked my DH, apparently it's not an Afro comb, it's got slightly wider teeth.

I will get some CG approved conditioner and the bar and give those a go.

Her hair isn't long enough to tie up, really. I could section it and then maybe do smaller sections but I don't know if she would stand for it!!

Another thing op, although your daughter's hair may not be long enough to worry about it yet. I start from the ends of my hair, comb out and then move slightly higher, comb out again and repeat until I get to the root. Then start again on another section.

Don't let her sleep on it wet. I would do it in the morning and then let it air dry.

@absolutehush I highly recommend Faith In Nature conditioner. It seems to work for almost all hair types. I've tried so many conditioners and spent a fortune on them and Faith In Nature has been fantastic. Anything coconut based is very drying on his hair.

Ok - good to know that coconut is drying @TokenGinger thank you! I would assumed the total opposite!

@roundtable it's not yet, and I'm not sure it ever will be unless I start doing a better job!

Her hair looked really nice today, will see if I can achieve that again and post a photo!

We use and denman or tangle teaser brush, but only brush when wet and well coated with conditioner, so it should be pain free I also often just use my fingers to smooth and cost the curls.

Amal hair update: we have started brushing in the mornings (I wet it) and then adding lids of leave in conditioner and curl creme after.

It's growing much better and there is less breaking at the back, plus it's not getting into matted curls so brushing is easier. She is tolerating it better too.

She's just chucked a load of oats about here so it looks a bit dusty

Curl definition is wanting but its definitely much healthier and she is improving about letting me 'do' her hair (generally involves TV as a bribe).

My son has identical hair & similar age. I do Bantu knots & sometimes put them in overnight. There’s loads of videos on YouTube, I’m going to start learning how to plait soon. We use African pride products, they are fab & smell amazing. We used to use general baby shampoo like Dove, but it dries his hair out. Since using African pride his hair has grown so much. I’m also thinking of silk hair coverings for bedtime but I doubt he will keep it on

My son is a curly boy too, I love African pride. He is autistic so it's tough to explain what's going on so I'm limited at the moment. We wash once a week with conditioner, then leave in conditioner. Then each morning when he is eating in high chair I go round his hair with the detangle African pride spray and gentlly with my fingers detangle but I really drench the knots before so there's no pain. I also use some cantu curl definer, the coconut one.

I'd like to learn to do more but I'm not sure he will tolerate it... Hard to get a good pic

@TokenGinger
Which of the conditioning bars do you use? This sounds like it might ideal for my hair!

@PoppityPop We use the Avocado deep conditioner bar from a company called Soaps for Little Suds. It's the absolute best I've found. She gets inundated with orders after a recommendation in a curly group on Facebook recently so she's had to temporarily close the website until she can make more stock up. It looks like it's re-opening on Friday.

soapsforlittlesuds.co.uk/

Some time has passed since I first posted his hair; here's a photo taking this week. This is 80% dry and it keeps it looking lovely. It doesn't lose that lovely nourished look once dry.

Thanks so much for replying @TokenGinger. Your son’s hair looks absolutely amazing. I think they might need to use him in their advertising! I’ll be poised to buy in bulk once the site opens up again!

Sorry @TokenGinger can I ask another question?! How often do you wash his hair with the conditioner you mentioned in your original post? My LO’s hair is also similar and I just wash once a week but I find it looks a bit dirty after a while due to the products I’m adding and might benefit from slightly more regular washing.

@PoppityPop Thank you so much. We only wash once a week, too, but I do refresh his hair every couple of days.

To use the conditioner bar, I put the bar in a jug of hot water to soften it.

Whilst it's in there, I was his hair with conditioner only, no shampoo. We use Faith In Nature Blueberry. Then I comb through with a Denman brush.

Rinse out.

Then apply the softened bar. I coat his hair to the point that it looks white. Then I dry with a hairdryer.

To refresh, I wet my hands and run through his hair. On that same website, she also does a liquid avocado conditioner. I put that in my hands with a bit of water to loosen it and run through his hair. That's enough to freshen it up day to day and literally takes 1-2 minutes to do.

Sometimes midweek, I will wet his hair whilst in the bath and put the bar through it again and dry it, but without doing a full wash.

We really get the best results from the bar but the liquid is good for refreshing.

Ps I just realised I somehow uploaded the same photo from the start of the thread. I meant to upload this one from this week where his hair is a little longer