Help with my daughter's hair

[absolutehush]

My daughter has absolutely lovely hair but I'm really struggling to take care of it. She's mixed race and my hair (straight, fine, rubbish) means I have no idea what I'm doing! Her Da is no use - he's bald!

She has very soft, fine hair but with real curl. I can post a photo if you like. I use cantu and wash it only once a so a week when I have to (butter, yoghurt and mud went on it today)... I use leave in conditioner as well, through the week.

But it is noticeably shorter at the side/back where she sleeps on it.

What can I do? She's not yet two so doesn't have a pillow/duvet and I'm too paranoid for her to sleep in a bonnet..

Silk cot bed sheets? Do they exist? Are they expensive? I'm broke!!!

I can post a photo of her hair if useful!

I note I offered to post a photo twice! To be honest, that's because she is SO BEAUTIFUL

Impossible to say without a photo

You could always go over it mid week with a watered down leave in conditioner in a spray bottle, Comb through and allow to dry. Maybe putting it in twists at night may help too.

The problem you will have with trying to plait/twist a 2 year olds hair is they won't keep still, plus if she won't wear a bonnet you will have to do her hair every single day.

I would get her bonnet wearing and putting her hair in 2/4 plaits. (If she won't wear a hat in the daytime you are on a hiding to nothing trying to get her to wear a bonnet.)

Also make sure she is taking vitamins as recommended by the NHS - www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/vitamins-for-children/

Have a look for a group called ‘Little CG’s UK’ on Facebook - it is the curly girl method specifically for children and there are some really helpful people on there

She takes her vitamins!

I don't know if I can twist her hair, or what you really mean by twists?

Will any silk bonnet do? Any recommendations? She will wear a hat occasionally so I'm prepared to try!

I bought some cheapish silk pillowcases from eBay and used mattress clips to attach them to the top of the cot.

There's loads of useful videos on You Tube, 'twists, baby/toddler' also tips and tricks as it can be challenging. May find something useful, and you may find more advice, ideas and advice on products there. I suppose it depends on her hair length really. Silk bonnets are good apparently, and im sure they will do small ones, maybe on Amazon?

By Selina curly products have worked wonders on my mixed hair. My daughter is very knot and matting prone too, these products are super gentle and contain no silicones or any other drying nasties.

I've asked her grandma about it but her hair is very different! Her Grandma has thick, wiry Afro hair which she relaxes and my DDs is much more mixed.

My DDs curls are very tight although if you 'pull' them they're longer. I've watched a few YouTube vids and very informative although I don't think she'll be able to sit for long enough.

Silk sheets have been ordered!

Thank you all for the advice

Hello! Sorry to resurrect my own zombie but although my dd's hair has improved loads and breaking is less, I now find it gets really matted especially overnight.

She hates it being combed/brushed. Anything I can do?

Photos attached

What do you do with her hair overnight? My hair texture isn't far off from your daughters (mine is more afro textured), and it is quite long. I have to plait or twist it at night because it gets matted easily. I wrap it also, and that helps stop breakage.

In fact, overnight plaits/twists help to 'set' my hair, like rollers do for other people. Ideally, your daughter should wear a bonnet/silk wrap too. Get into a routine of doing this every night, or it will be more painful every morning. 2 or 4 big plaits are enough. Smaller ones are better for 'setting' though.

If I'm honest, I don't do anything! I put leave in conditioner on. She has silk sheets and pillows, but she's incapable of sitting still for twists. Hates having her hair touched, to be honest.

Bonnets and wraps aren't recommended until she's older - I assume a suffocation or strangulation risk.

I thinking that maybe I'm a bit limited in what I can do?

I thinking that maybe I'm a bit limited in what I can do?

You are just going to have to condition it every morning and run a wide tooth comb through it as quickly as possible. If possible try to distract her with things while you are combing her hair.

I'm luckier because my daughter's hair is finer so there is less of it, but that's what I do.

You really need to be either putting a headscarf on her at night, or plaiting/twisting it before bed. Standard practice for afro/textured hair. Make it part of the bedtime routine, non negotiable. She'll soon catch on.

Omg her hair is beautiful ❤️

This is my DD's hair at about age 5 and age 8. We follow the curly girl method and it really works so well. The main thing we do is only wash hair in conditioner (I use Sainsbury's own apple conditioner, which is approved and also cheap!). We also use a little gel to hold the moisture in.
I brush her hair when completely wet and coat it very generously with conditioner. We also leave extra conditioner in and add more when styling! To achieve these curls, I normally work from the bottom layer up and just gently pull the curls out, making sure they are well coated and free from knots.... then leave to dry! After it dries, you might need to pull the hair a bit to break the gel cast if you've used gel. You should then have lovely soft curls!
My daughter sometimes wears a silk cap when her curls are fresh, or I just loosely plait it otherwise.

Hope that helps a bit!

@jammydoggers1922 thank you!

@PatriciaHair thank you, that's really helpful. We're working on introducing each step one at a time, so brushing her hair is still a bit of a challenge but I've already noticed a small improvement. Thanks for the heads up on the conditioner, cantu is costing me a small fortune

Also I have bought us both silk caps to sleep in. I'm hoping my slightly dry hair will be improved and she will get on board with wearing one if I do!

Oh I've just realised your little one is so young! At that age, we just washed in conditioner (the Sainsbury's one is so good - only about 70p a bottle and I usually buy about 8 whenever we are running low) - brush it when it is really really wet and silky with conditioner and then leave conditioner in to provide more moisture. My Dd has only just started wearing a silk cap - usually I just loosely plait it or tie it in a scrunchie on top of her head.

What combs would everyone recommend please?

She brushes my hair whilst I brush hers. It's hard to tell who is more distressed

Also I am really struggling with twists, not sure her hair has enough length!

We follow the curly girl method on my son's hair and the products we use help a lot.

I wash with Faith In Nature Blueberry conditioner, no shampoo at all. I really massage the shampoo into his scalp for a good clean. Whilst this is in, I comb/brush his hair out with a wide tooth comb and/or a Denman brush. Then rinse.

Then I use a conditioner bar from a company called Soaps For Little Suds. I leave that in a jug of warm water to soften whilst I'm doing the combing out mentioned above.

I use the conditioner bar and rub along his hair section by section. His hair can look white by the time I'm done but it really soaks up all of the moisture in it.

Then I just leave it. To refresh in a morning, Soaps For Little Suds also do a liquid conditioner which I rub into my hands with some water and just smooth along his hair.

Sometimes we use Boots Curl Creme for an extra bit of hold.

@TokenGinger oh his hair is gorgeous!

Interesting to hear you use a Denman brush, I would have thought they were no good. Is it the hard kind or he soft bristle kind? I'm assuming the yard, because that's closer to a comb.

I have a tangle teaser but haven't used it as I think it would comb out the curls to a frizz, and probably be painful. I'm using an Afro comb of her dads from when he had a full Afro.