Spring is sprung, the grass is ris, I wonder where my toenails is - Due June 2010

[greensnail]

Ok, here it is ladies. Nice new thread for us all to enjoy

WWISA - I had the same dream about this baby that I had last time with DD. In the dream, my tummy starts getting transparent, and I can see the baby underneath and it's lovely. Then I realise the skin is getting thinner and thinner and will I be able to hold the baby in? It's nasty too. Fortunately, this never happened in real life with DD, so I guess it won't this time either! How are you feeling now after hospital?

MadameFreckle -does he have to be there? I am actually in two minds about DH being there (this is after persuading him to be there). I'm not sure if it will be one of thise things where I'll just want to put my head down and get through, TBH. He was there last time but it was an em c-section. So, he already knows what my insides look like. I've told him he's to stay up the head end if I get a VBAC!

OMG hospital bags! I haven't given it a moment's thought. I suppose it is about time to be thinking about it. Last time, when I went into hospital with my hunch that something was up with DD, the mw thought I was crazy for bringing my bag with me. As it turned out, I didn't go home again for two weeks, with teeny DD in my arms!

La T, that dream sounds awful. Thanks for milk advice but sadly I really hate milk, although can cope with hot choc or ovaltine so could give that a shot. Really wanting to get an appointment with my craniosacral friend but he has been skiing in Colorado and is stuck there due to the ash for the near future! It really worth trying BTW for insomnia. Also he is amazing with babies, spec after traumatic births. Really helps with excessive crying, not sleeping etc.

Had a bit of nightmare weekend as we have had out whole house rewired ( a job we have put off for 5 years since we moved in but have been motivated by the babies imminent arrival, apparently its not safe) Anyway would have been fine but DH and I both have had stomach bugs combined with cold and headache for me so have been banished from house while feeling awful. Have finaly got house back to ouselves now but have so much dust to clean up now. Cannot be bothered tho.

Oh also with regards to sleeping have bought a memory foam topper for our bed and the difference in comfort levels is huge even tho I also thought our bed was v comfortable before getting pregnant.
Also I am in a book group and we are reading A Team of Rivals, biog of Abe Lincoln and that is very good to read in the middle of the night as it is interesting but not too absorbing to stop you getting back to sleep (BTW we normally read fiction for book group)

thanks for nice messages everyone - I get muddled up about my own name these days and it's hardly surprising that there are two of us on this thread with sleepless sort of names, given that most of us sound sleepless in real life - and that's without even thinking about the next few months!. I was awake between 1 & 3 this morning, trying first of all to get DS back to sleep in his own bed and then being furious with DH who was snoring his head off by the time I got back into our bed.

There was no reason given for my bleeding - I saw duty consultant, who said it is unlikely to happen again and we will probably never know what caused it. Thankfully the baby wasn't coming early, but we wouldn't have been at all ready if she had, so I am just about to have an internet shopping session for all those things, including a cot, that I'd thought I'd leave a bit longer.

And do I remember rightly from last time - there is no need to buy something called a maternity pad is there? It's just a thick sanitary towel with a picture of a mother and baby on the packaging, and a thick sanitary towel will in fact do fine...

I found normal sanitary towels horribly uncomfortable and plasticky on my stitches when I swapped to them after a few days with maternity pads last time around. Also, the maternity pads felt much more cushioned and more comfy to sit on when everything's sore down below. I'll definitely be sticking to maternity pads this time (aren't they cheaper than normal sanitary towels anyway?)

madamefreckle how did the birth affect you and DH last time around? For me and DH, I think him seeing me go through that really made him respect me and my body a lot more than if he hadn't been there to see what I'd been through, but I know it can have the opposite effect on a lot of couples. If you truly are going to feel uncomfortable with him there, then he shouldn't be there. Maybe telling him you don't want him there will be the wake up call he needs to realise this is a real problem. Do you have someone else who you would like as a birth partner?

greensnail I don't think he'd ever forgive me if I told him I didn't want him there. Last time we were really close throughout the pregnancy and it was fine with him being there during labour...but it doesn't feel the same this time. I don't know of any one else I'd have, except possibly my sister but not sure if she'd be up for it.

LaT - what makes you wonder whether or not you want your dh there? Is it him seeing you in that state? Am I right that in the majority of societies around the world (esp. small-scale societies), women birth their babies without men around. They probably have a wonderful, big network of female relatives and close friends from the village to cheer them on. At the moment, that seems preferable.

Whenwillisleepagain I thought maternity
pads were cheaper too.

Goodname - Hope you're feeling better after your naff weekend.

madamefreckle It sounds like you really need to discuss this properly with your DH. The last thing you need in labour is to feel inhibited by having someone you don't feel comfortable with there. Really hard if he's not acknowledging your concerns at all though - do you think it might help to right him a letter explaining how you're feeling?

Hope you all had lovely sunny weekends I'm trying to do all the 'sensible' things to control my SPD but did manage a lovely picnic with friends in a nearby nature reserve yesterday that was totally lovely. Was a shame not to be able to join the 2km stroll around the lake, but I didn't find chilling out in the sun with the papers too challenging!!

Thankfully ds and dd slept/stayed quiet until 9am on Saturday and 8.45am Sunday (sorry CSWS!) so dh and I actually got some proper sleep...I had a hell of a shock when I opened my eyes (to a totally quiet house) and saw the time on Saturday morning ! Maybe because of the extra zzzzs, or maybe because we had stopped worrying about it, but very unexpectedly dh and I managed to nookie on Sat night And very nice it was too, despite a wiggly bump and pelvic pains. So hurrah!

Sounds like a very stressful 24 hours, WWISA, really hope you're feeling ok now?

Cinema Mampam?? Gosh, you must be feeling better!

Didn't you have to spend ages talking your dh into attending the birth for dd, LaT? Why would you not want him there now? Who will be looking after dd whilst you're in?

Madamefreckle, am very of your allotment! I've got a very small greenhouse in my (very small) garden and about 30 large pots and a raised bed on my driveway (which is an ugly concrete area at the back of my house, so we don't really use it)...so we're probably not the same scale as your planting efforts! I'd love to have room for more than 8 potatoes, 8 shallots etc...but I prefer to have a bit of lots of different things than a big crop of one item. Sorry you're having such a hard time with your dp at the moment. It sounds as though he isn't dealing well with emotional stuff right now - would you be able to discuss it all with him without getting too tearful/emotional? If not, I agree with greensnail that you could write it all down for him if that works better.

I'm very impressed by those of you starting to pack bags and wash baby stuff already....the filly track record suggests I'll start doing most of these things approx 48 hours before my EDD, although I'll probably get started on washing sheets/blankets etc once DD is out of the nursery and everything has been cleaned properly. Yes, so about 48 hours before my EDD

Madame Freckle - On DH being present at the birth or not, I do want him there as I will need supprt and someone to do things for me, obviously. And he really wants to be there to see the baby straight away, as he was with DD and he wants to be fair to them both! What makes me doubt are several things: we only have a friend to look after DD and I want her to be happy. Maybe she would be happier with him? Also, I may find him a total PITA. I may not but I'm sure it happens. DH is one of those men who wants to fix things and make things right, which he really won't be in a position to do then, will he? Also, we have had several couples as friends, with admittedly husbands on the weaker side of rubbish, who have had difficulties - and even a divorce - where the husband's cite being at the birth as the main problem and this makes us both worry a bit about the effect it might have. I'm not sure it's to do with trauma to the lady bits, more about having been in the position of being totally powerless to help their wives. I get the impression that actually a lot of women feel traumatised in much the same way after having given birth, so I don't think it is really a trivial thing.

Having said that DH saw me having the c-section and felt exactly the same about me 'the next day', as he says. I haven't ever had a labour, so I really don't know how I will feel. And again, this is part of my uncertainty.

He'll be there at the start anyway. I may chuck him out later on!

My dh didn't particularly want to be at our first birth, but agreed, remaining adamant that he was staying up my head end. He ended up videoing dd's head being born . He hadn't realised quite how quickly the body would shoot out afterwards, so he saw that, but didn't manage to catch it on camera.

At ds' birth he and my doula were rather busy holding my legs apart, as the mw was caught unawares of how imminent the birth was (4cm to birth was 1 hr 10 mins, and she thought that I was exaggerating how fast things were progressing ).

We plan for him to be there this time too. Just hoping that baby comes at a convenient point so that we can get a friend or the inlaws to look after the other 2!

Had scan and clinic appointment this morning. Baby is breech at the moment, so hoping it gets a move on and flips over. Ds turned 3 times between this stage and 34 weeks, so I'm not worried yet.
They estimated current weight at 3 lbs 11 oz.

Hello all, sleeplessness affecting me too! Was awake between 2 and 4.30 this morn,ds was teething, dd wanted to talk so we did & we read pg books together .
Packed my hospital bag today with some omissions toothbrush, makeup etc but it seems more real now. Have started yoga which I'm really enjoying. Doc couldn't be sure which way baby was this week[shock} but still early days...

CantSleep - Is 34 weeks the time by which they should be head down? So yours could be a bit of a speedy one this time then! Hope your friends/inlaws are v. close by!

Filly - It is pretty lovely strolling over to the allotment (or 'lompment' as ds calls it and surveying our piece of land - which costs us the princely sum of £12 a year!) However, I rather overdid it yesterday. Evil weeds with roots about a metre deep have invaded. I got on a bit of a mission and before I knew it I had spent 3 hours furiously trying to dig them out. As a result I'm suffering a bit today and the SPD is niggling again.

LaT - Know what you mean about thinking it might be better for DH to look after your DD when you have the baby. I Feel like that too but, on balance, I don't think DS will suffer too badly from being looked after by who-knows-who for a day/night/however long it takes even if he would be happier with DH. Also interesting what you said about couples having problems because of the men feeling powerless...I remember actually feeling quite sorry for DP last time having to watch me in that much agony...must be hard. Hey, who am I kidding? We've got the hard job!!

I think I've voiced my worries to DP as much as I can at the moment. Now I think I'll just wait til I'm in labour and see how it goes. It could turn out that he's a great support (last time he just held a glass of water for the last 6 hours and held it to my lips after every contraction. - He wasn't full of words of encouragement though, in fact I'm not sure he said anything the entire time which is very unlike him)! However, if i'm finding him a total PITA this time, I can always hoof him out with the perfect excuse of being able to focus better on my own for a bit or some such thing.

Oh whoops, that was me giving away an alternative nickname!! Like to go undercover sometimes!

Ongobongo - 34 weeks is just the point at which ds stopped flipping. Obviously there's less and less room for them to turn as time goes on, but I think that consultants only start to get worried around 37 weeks or so.
It was only so quick last time because they kept increasing the drip (was on day 5 of my induction by then ). I'm hoping to avoid induction this time so it might not be as quick.

Ah! I thought I didn't recognise the poster, but assumed that it was just someone who only pops on occasionally that I'd forgotten!

Five days of induction - grim with cherries on top! Poor you!

My DH doesn't intend to be in the room when I actually give birth. I've been working in small stages, but have now got to the point where he says he'll be there during labour, rather than pacing the corridor, but as soon as I start crowning he'll be out. In fact, he wants me to put a bit in my birthplan to say that's what is happening and the midwife mustn't tell him off of he tries to leave . I'm hoping that, like CSWS's DH he will be so distracted that he will forget to leave... we'll see!

My midwife still can't tell which way the baby's lying- a combination of her being curled in a ball and my apparently strong stomach muscles. But I'm back in again next week- a week early, as despite looking like Mr Greedy my bump is a bit small. Not small enough to do any investigation yet, that's only started at 3cm small and I am 2cm, but small enough to bring my appointment forwards by a week.

Hope everyone else had a loveley weekend with all the good weather.

I was quite keen on the idea of my DH not being there and I definately want him to stay near my head but he is fascinated with the whole thing and would not even consider not being there. I do worry it will make him look at me differently afterwards as its really not a very attractive time! Think we would both regret it in the long run if he wasn't there tho. I am thinking of having my sister there too as she is very good at keeping me calm and has recently had 2 babies herself. Seeing as neither I or DH have done this before it might be nice to have extra support? Is anyone else having extra people there?

I have very itchy red skin today esp on legs, thighs and hands but sort of all over. Feels like an allergy but I am not normally allergic to anything much. Is that normal?

Hello All,

I haven't had a midwife appointment since 28 weeks and the next one is booked for a home visit at 34 (2 weeks time), am I being neglected ? Everyone else seems to be being scanned and measured.

goodname Have you any other symptoms ?
www.babycenter.com/0_itchy-skin-during-pregnancy_9450.bc?page=2#articlesection4

milly, my mw appointments were also at 28 and 34 weeks but when I queried this I was told that I should also see my GP sometime around 31/32 weeks for a quick checkup. Maybe something you could do?

In the end, I had a consultant appt last week (31 weeks) and they did the usual urine/blood pressure/heartbeat thing anyway, so I didn't bother seeing my GP

For the first timers who are worried about their dps being present, I would say that my dh turned out to be a bloody amazing birth partner. He didn't annoy me, he coped really well with me me hugely demanding at various points, he absolutely hated seeing me in pain and not being able to help but it left him with a lot of respect for the whole childbirth thing (and, I think, gave him a lot of incentive to really pull his weight afterwards!) and was fantastic throughout. He did stay 'up at the head end' for ds' delivery, but that was because we had 12 doctors and a great big bloody screen up at the business end....dd's delivery was a lot more normal and it was great hearing him shouting that he could see her head, etc, after another 28 hour stint No question in my mind at all as to whether he should be around this time...!

Evening All!

DH was fab during DD2's birth - I had her at home and the 2nd midwife was delayed so DH had to stand in for her! He was the one who checked if DD2 was a girl or a boy and had a sneaky first cuddle even before she came to me. He was quite good at making sure the midwife did what I wanted - although they ganged up on me and kept fibbing to me that the gas and air was on its way even though they knew it wouldn't arrive before the baby!

Midwife appointment tomorrow which will probably be very uneventful. Day 3 of my iron tablets and the side effects are starting - any good tips for getting iron without needing the tablets?

Only 5 days left at work - last day is next Wednesday and I can't wait!!

vitamin c helps the absorption of iron so it's good to eat things rich in both together. Leafy vegetables, red meat and lentils. I thikn apricots too.

Spatone is quite a gentle way of taking iron. Could you try this?

Fybogel is fine to take in pregnancy if the side effects tend that way for you!

Hi there

DH was great during my labour with DS. I was induced and started off on my own, thinking he should come along later. Quite quickly it all turned out to be more painful than I'd imagined (I heard later it really is more uncomfortable) so I got the MW to call him. He was then around for the next 15 or so hours and saw me in every imaginable situation of being undignified, including when I projectile vomited on him. He nearly missed the emergency c-section because the lovely MW insisted he went off to get some breakfast and that was when the decision got made to take me to theatre. Even more impressively he'd only given up smoking a week before, and was doing it DIY with a box of gums. I remember shouting at him - including telling him to get off me when he tried to rub my back and complaining about the music he'd put on the MP3 player for me. Hope I've been more grateful since.

I know what you mean la t about wanting to make sure your existing child isn't too disrupted by your labour. I have asked DS if he'd rather go to nursery or have MIL come over and he's opted for the latter, but I want DH to get home ASAP to reassure him.

And thanks for the views on maternity pads - I'd assumed they were a big marketing con - now I'll get some!

Oh yes, maternity pads - I didn't find them terribly comfortable or useful, and preferred to use big night time pads (with wings).

whenwilli - I don't think that induction is necessarily more uncomfortable (have had one induced and one not). I think that the pain just escalates more quickly, but is generally over with quicker too.

Hello all! Hope everyone enjoyed the fab sunshine at the weekend. Had lovely Saturday but had to spend 3 hours in car on Sunday visiting MIL (aka Waspface) which was necessary but annoying when the sun was shining...

Maternity pads - agree they are actually cheaper than normal sanitary pads. I used Boots own brand last time - I think they are £1 a pack. You use quite a lot - I think I was using them for 2 weeks post birth. Comfort is key! I also found those absolutely ginormous granny pants that go over your tummy (and are actually square in shape, so large are they) really comfy and helpful for holding wobbly tummy in place post birth.

DH will most definitely be attending the birth. Much as I love my mother, I really wouldn't want her with me for the duration of labour (last time was 48 hours). She will however be a brilliant carer for DD whilst DH and I are in hospital.
Last time around, DH was fab, and didn't try and invade my space (was in a bit of a zone where I didn't want anyone near me) but helped when I asked for it. We were at home so he spent most the time making tea and snacks for the midwife!
When it came to the birth, he couldn't get near the action-end as I'd been transferred to hospital at that point, and like filly, we had a load of medics crowding that end with ventouse etc. What I found most shocking was how quickly the baby pops out, after all those hours of labouring, it is really very fast at the end!! And that amazing feeling of having a slithery little bundle handed over to you - instant love....

Nizzy I'm on iron tablets too and feel so much better already. laT is right - try and take the tablet with e.g. orange juice, and avoid drinking tea/coffee or milk when you take your tablet as apparently this affects absorption. Dried apricots full or iron, green leafy veg, most cereals are fortified with iron and bread too I think. I can't believe what a difference they have made to the fatigue.

Got my 30 week scan tomorrow - excited about seeing the babies again! Only 6 more weeks of work, and 8 weeks til babies are here all being well.
We collect our new car on Weds, but still need to order a double buggy and cot. I did buy a second-hand Tripp Trapp from a neighbour today which is as good as new - in better condition than DD's is.

To new mums - my advice is go second-hand where you can - esp. clothes as they last for such a short time.

Hope everyone else is OK x