Becoming bulgy! June-oh what I mean? (June part 2)

[madamefreckle]

Hello everyone! Welcome to the second thread! Hope you are happy enough that I've gone ahead with this title! If not, I won't be mortally offended if you ditch it and start again!

Here is the list - hope it is more or less up-to-date. Apologies if you're missing, please add yourself on. Pogue - we don't have you on here. Scared - are you still around? Perhaps you've moved to the May thread. Let us know how you're doing.

27th-3rd - ScaredofEverything, 33, #2
30/05 GoodName, 31, #1
1st - Washersaurus , 33, #3
1st - ELM, 29, #2
1st - bambino02, 23, #2
1st - mampam, 29 #3
1st - whenwillisleepagain, 42 #2
2nd - scrappydappydoo, #3
2nd - MrsGravy, 33, #3
3rd - nickytwotimes, 35, #2
3rd - RnB, 31, #3
3rd - Tafftaff, 36, #2
4th - minimoonumbertwo, 33, #2
4th - madamefreckle, 33, #2
4th - sunshiney, 34, #2
5th - greensnail, 27, #2
5th - Dizzymac, 35 No.3
6th - AlwaysHopefull, 35, #2
6th - zumm, 37, #1
7th - LittleRobbo, 34, #3
7th - MrsC09, #1
7th - mumandlovingit, 28 #4
8th - Tobermory, #2
8th- Saucepanman, 31, #4
9th - Woofie, 33, #2
10th - charlottew 32, #1
10th - fillybuster 35, #3
10th - upsydaisysexstylist #3
11th - PorridgeBrain, 34, no. 2
12th - UnrequitedSkink, 33, no. 2
12th - Rangemaster 29, #3
11th - Fabi76, #1
13th - ChairmumMiaow, 29, #2
13th - sobloodystupid, 34, #3
14th - Cadmum, 38, #5
14th ? MrsAlwaysRight, 31 #2
15th - MummyWantsANewBag, #2
15th - Ponymum, 41, # 2
17th - Bluesnowfalcon 28 #1
17th - theperfectbaguette 34 #1
17th - muchchocolate #2
18th - Horton 40 #2
19th - Ladyemmalou83, 26 #1
19th - Georgee 37 No 1
21st - Gizmo, 39, #3
22nd - GinaFB, #1
23rd - Sunshineday 39 #5
23rd - GibberingGinger 33 #2
23rd? - Spudthescarecrow #3
24th - imkeepingmum, #1
25th - Ilovemyterrier, 38 no1
25th - readysetgo, #1
26th - Celery, 34 #4
28th - CantSleepWontSleep (HappyAccident),
36, no3
29th - MrsDmamee #3
30th - Monthlymayhem, 34, no. 2

Many thanks for the replies.
They have helped.

The hardest thing with ds was the complete loss of myself. It's only recently that I have felt like and individual again and I am sad to lose that again.

Had a good chat with dh last night too.

It feels like a taboo subject in real life so I am glad I can discuss it here.

Hey Nicky,

No real advise here as my DS was a very good baby all things considered. But the loss of myself was really hard going! I know exactly what you are talking about! My DS was 4 weeks old when my dad called me to say he had a half day and was taking DS for one hour all on his own and I was to go swimming!

Everyone offers to look after baby to let you sleep but My dad quite literly saved me! I have always loved swimming and that short 45min swim (I couldn't handle a whole hour) was fantastic.

Dad is already planning his holidays to let me so the same with this one!

Might be worth picking one thing you refuse to give up, and let everyone know so they can help out.

mummysprog i love your dad!

Nickytwotimes i felt a loss of identity when i got married,fine having the babies,but changing my name freaked me out like you wouldnt believe,and even though we had been together for 7 yrs (on and off) it just felt like i had lost the me i'd always been,but its fine now,i got over it

Snowed in again here,and i dont mind one little bit Cuppa anyone?

Oh JOY to this thread, nicky - and lots of others! - i massively struggled with ds until he was about 6 months old for a number of reasons but just always felt that all my other mummy friends seemed to be loving it so felt very isolated. It is so brilliant to hear others' stories on this thread and realise i was not alone.

I am convinced that this new baby will be easier that ds as there just won't be that shocking change of lifestyle there was the first time around and I now have my own small support network which i certainly didn't have before. Do you now have mummy friends that can help out a bit with the new baby or at least take toddler off your hands for a bit?

Huge thanks to everyone on here, it's so good to know i was not the only one

Little Robo - If I had changed my name when we got married it would have been DH that freaked. It would have given me exactly the same name as his sister! Thankfully, Spanish women don't change their names so the issue didn't arrise.

Mummysprog - I can't tell you how much your Dad deserves a hug. I would have LOVED that. DH and I keep trying for me to go swimming but with one thing and another it has happened once in two years! It was lovely though.

The thing I find hardest about motherhood is that I used to work in jobs and have freedom in my private life to do things absolutely as well as I wanted to. I liked to be really good at the things I did. Now, although I love looking after DD and wouldn't have it another way, I have to accept every single day being 'good enough' because you just can't have everything done perfectly. Particularly because a toddler basically wants all your attention all the time and that's just not possible.

I wanted to say to the SPD ladies, have you been told how to get in and out of bed? This was one of the things the physio did with me and it did help. I'll try and find a you tube or something.

On the bright side I received a half price Galt playring from Studio 24 today. It's gorgeous. I was quite tight with DD when she was a baby because I didn't know what was worth paying for and what not. I promised myself one of these for the next one and now I feel all squidgy. We're all going to have ickle babies! Hooray!

No luck on the SPD video but it goes something like this. Lie on your side on the very edge of the bed, the side you get out of. Position your top arm under your tummy to push you up. Swing the lower part of your legs off the bed at the same time as pushing up with your hand, so you make a see-saw-like movement.

The point is you avoid twisting your hips when getting out and that horrible crunching feeling.

You can do it in reverse to get in aswell. Hope that might help somebody.

Hi all. Had my 20 week scan today. All present and correct and as it should be!! Didn't find out the sex although when the sonographer was measuring the thigh bone she froze the screen on a picture looking from underneath the baby's bottom. Lets put it this way I don't think I'm having a Laila Rose!!! I was convinced I was having a girl and that was what I had my heart set on to call her but I think we might have to seriously think about boys names now!! DH is convinced it's a boy too from what we saw!

Saw the consultant too and he has sent me away to have a serious think about having a cesaerian (sp?). I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. These are my pro's and cons:

1. Was induced at 42 weeks with DS who was so HUGE that I had a 3rd degree tear and ended up in theatre for an hour being stitched up. Being induced brought the contractions on so fast and strong I was in absolute agony.

I just think that I could have been saved that agony if they given me a C-section in the first place. I ended up having a spinal and being in theatre for an hour anyway so it would have killed 2 birds with 1 stone and would have saved me from going through such a traumatic birth.

I had SPD which got worse after giving birth and I never really recovered properly from it.

I've never been able to clench properly since and make noises from my bottom end at inappropriate moments ever since.

Bladder is quite weak also.

Consultant says that if I tear like that again it will make my bowels worse. Giving birth naturally will make my bladder worse. He wants me to have a scan on my sphincter (gross) and if it doesn't function properly they will definitely recommend a c-section if it does I still have to make the choice!!

They will deliver at 39 weeks for c-section and induce me at 40weeks for a natural delivery.

The thought of having a c-section however petrifies me. I know the risks and being the anxious person that I am I'm convinced something will go wrong or that I'm going to die!! (I know, I know!!).

I know the simplest thing would be for me to just have one but I would prefer a natural birth if only they could guarantee no 3rd degree tears, agony or trauma!!!!

What would you do????

I would go for a natural birth mampam. The thought of being unable to do anything for myself for 6 weeks during the recovery from a c-sec is less than appealing . But then I live somewhere that means that I would be totally removed from civilisation if I couldn't drive, and my dh will be working abroad again when this one arrives, so my circumstances might be a bit different from yours. In fact I will be pushed to have an induction from 38 weeks, because of the gestational diabetes, but will be refusing for a good long while after that, if not altogether!

So, do you have a boys name list at all?!

Ooh, 20 week scan, how exciting mampam, glad all was well there, you'll need to get thinking of boys names! I can sympathise with the painful induction, I was induced at 36 weeks pain was so bad with the syntocinon (sp?) that I was completely unable to speak to demand an epidural, eventually I don't think I could really hear what was going on either. I found my voice again once in transition but by then it was too late! I only had a 2nd degree tear though (apparently it was very close to becoming a 3rd degree one) so I think I got off lightly on that score. I will also probably be advised to have an early induction again, and I will go for it. Am already thinking about how I can use my experiences from last time to plan for a better labour this time and am confident that I can stay more in control and have a better experience this time.
On the other hand I know a lot of people who have had caesarians and recovered very well ( and one who had a terrible recovery, but is still going for an elective section with her second baby) so I wouldn't discount that option either.
Sorry probably not much help, but just my thoughts on it.

mampam, you could be describing my last labour. Just about identical, except I was fortunate to avoid SPD.

Although I haven't had a chance to discuss it with the hospital I think I will go for an elective section this time. I know a section will mean up to six weeks recovery, but compared to a vaginal birth and the possibility of lifelong faecal/bladder incontinence I think it might be worth it. Also I'd rather have a controlled elective section that I feel calm about and the surgeon can take his time than a emergency section (if it got to that, it was close last time)in which everything is much more pressurised and things might go wrong.

But its really not an easy decision to make - life would be so easy with a crystal ball. If knew for definite there would be no further damage I would go for vaginal birth, but I'm not much of a gambler! two thirds of twin deliveries are sections anyway so my previous tear might be overruled by other factors.

Hope I've not scared any first time mums much. Labour is different for everyone, and as many people have 2 paracetamol and one big push type experiences as those that have nasty tears and stuff.

Sounds like you had a rough time with DS at birth Mampam. I would go for the sphincter scan first then if all looks ok, probably go for natural delivery but get induced v. soon after 40 wks if baby hadn't arrived. But still...tough choice. Hmmm...If you've got enough family support around you to help during recovery, perhaps go for a c-section? The liklihood is that you'd be fine and save your nether regions from further trauma. Either way, really glad all was well at your scan.

Had my 20 wk scan today too. Was so nervous but everything seemed to be hunkydory! Decided at the last moment to find out the sex and the liklihood is that it's a girl! I'm over-the-moon and scared-to-death in equal measure! I'd feel more relaxed having another boy but am actually really, really chuffed. Right, off to name hunt...

Yay madamefreckle congrats on lovely scan and your missfreckle you must be so thrilled!

Sorry mampam for not being any help,i just dont know what i would do!I am such a scaredy cat that i would probably just leave it til the very last minute to decide,or when someone else has to decide for me,yes,i am that weak! I m sure you will be in excellent expert hands whichever route you go though.

CSWS, no,no boys names here!!! DH really likes Freddie (he's a huge Queen fan!!) but DD absolutely hates it. I like names which aren't common (in our area anyway), not necessarily names that are out of the ordinary just names where there aren't 10 others I can think of called the same thing!!! It's hard with boys though isn't it, much easier with girls names.

GG I would definitely opt for a section if I were having twins!! But I'm not so I still have to make the decision!!

I was hoping that you MN ladies would go either one way or the other, not give a mixed view!!!!

I'm so indecisive!! I know I've got a while yet to decide but I can guarantee I'll still be like this when I next see the consultant. If only I wasn't such a wimp!

Sorry forgot to say Madamefreckle congratulations on having a little girl. Glad the scan when went well.

Also for those ladies with SPD the ladies on the SPD sofa thread in pregnancy are very good at giving advice and support.

Hi all, got a bit behind with reading posts, so have not been able to post anything for a while til I managed to catch up.
Had my 20 week scan yesterday and found out its a boy. Am actually in total shock over this. Thought it would be nice to have a little boy but also thought I would definitely have a girl. In my family there are so far only girls, my mum has 2 sisters, my mums sister has only girls, I have 4 sisters, my sister has 2 girls, even my dad only has sisters. So I have absolutely no experience of boy babies at all. I do have three nephews on my husbands side but we dont see them so much as they are a bit further away.
Was feeling quite happy at the thought of having a baby, and not too apprehensive but now I am petrified. Worried I wont know what to do with a boy baby. I do realise this sounds ridiculous but I am genuinely quite scared. How different are boy babies from girls? Any information on bring up boys would be gratefully received. (Hope I dont sound too crazy) Oh and everything was good with the scan and got an amazingly clear photo in which the baby looks exactly like my husband, its quite freaky.

On another note, we are off skiing on Saturday. Not looking forward to it at all as I love skiing and now will have to watch everyone else have a great time while I sit at home and cant even drink mulled wine or eat cheese. Grrr. Will have to try really hard not to be grumpy with everyone when they come home going on about the great day they had skiing. Planning on going next year though so I will try and look forward to that. I do realise I will have a baby then by the way but me and my sister going to pay for my younger sister (who is a nanny) to come and look after our kids. Yipee! Anyway have 4 good books ready to go with me so thats something I guess.

Looking forward to hearing how everyones scans go in the next few weeks

Ooooo, Mampam, that's a real toughie.

Although I'm generally a strong proponent of natural birth, if I were in your shoes I have to say I'd be thinking about an elective quite hard. Lifelong incontinence is not to be sneezed at, IYSWIM . An elective should be a calmer and more controlled experience than your emergency c-section so it might not stress you so much?

Alternatively, maybe wait for a while and see how big they estimate the baby to be. Sounds like the killer combo is a big baby and induction, so maybe you could book an elective after your due date and give the baby some time to arrive naturally?

Goodname, you have my sympathy - I'm contemplating skiing in March which will basically be doing what I'd do at home but in the snow and at altitude.

But if you haven't got any kids in tow then there are probably many ways to pamper yourself a bit - does your resort have a pool? Maybe a spa? I reckon several nice treatments/massages might be in order, plus many trips to mountain cafes for hot chocolate and views.

As for boys: I have two and they're very boy boys. I hesitate to generalise but they're often extremely affectionate, 'cuddly' babies and toddlers, particularly with their mothers. TBH, I really don't think gender makes a huge amount of difference when they're tiny babys - the biggest shock element comes from having a baby, and the fact that it can wee in an impressive sprinkler fashion from the top of a changing station is but a minor footnote in the general shockwave

My boy likes to bash stuff more than his sister did! And is calmer (so far - it's still early days!) than her.

Congrats on all the other good scans.

Mampam - your criteria for names is similar to mine - will share some of my likes later once I've got ds down for a nap.

at gizmo's incontinence joke.

mampam I don't know what I'd do about the c-section v natural birth so no help to you there. A friend in a similar situation went for the c-section 2nd time round and she says that was the right decision for her. I can sympathise with having a husband who's a queen fan and having to constantly veto names like Fred, Brian, Roger and any other versions of them.

Glad everyone's scans seem to be going well - 2 weeks until mine. Midwife appointment was very uneventful but I sort of assumed it would be. Didn't try listening for the heart beat but I keep getting the odd nudge so feeling ok about it. They seem to assume that because it's my 3rd I should know what I'm doing! Has anyone else found that?

Rubbish weather today - no more snow just a drizzly fog which was horrible to walk to playgroup in this morning especially at 3yr old speed!

Lots of posts so sorry if I've missed anything as I've got my youngest trying to press the buttons on the laptop at the same time as me!!!

Are there any old TTC First Time Frolickers here? If so, please say hello to many of your old chums on this new ante-natal thread.

Thanks

Right MamPam - don't be too rude about any of them, because we've already used some and will use others, but boys' names that I like are:

Elliot
Gregory
Duncan
Dominic
Lawrence
Barnaby
Zachary (though getting more popular)
Fergus
Patrick
Hugo
Jeremy
Julian
Lorenzo
Jesse
Kester
Jonathan
Chesney
Justin
Ferdinand
Angus
Francis
Fraser
Ellis
Howard
Rupert

Any of those appeal?
There are a handful on there that dh has firmly vetoed of course!

Nizzy trying to get DH to understand that you just cannot call a baby 'Brian', is a hard thing to do!! I keep telling him, it's a mans name not a baby's name. I apologise to anyone who has got a child called Brian but to me I cannot imagine cooing over a baby and calling him Brian!!!

goodname You'll be absolutely fine with a boy. When I was pg 2nd time around I petrified that the baby would be a boy. I thought all the same things as you, basically, what the hell would I do with a boy. When DS was born and I found out he was a boy I couldn't have been happier. I totally fell in love with him and just got on with things. Things came naturally and I'm sure they will to you too.

So either that was a cross post or you hate them all mampam .

CSWS I'm not really feeling any of those!! Zachary, maybe or Zach/Zack. Don't really want a name beginning with 'J' as that's what our surname begins with.

Like 'Hugo' but feel like I'm too common to have a posh name like that!!

Just had a gander through baby name book and seen a few names that are OK!

Alex
Evan
Riley

That's all that took my fancy and they aren't really making me jump up and down with excitement!! I'm too fussy aren't I??

CSWS sorry yes, crossed post. Oh and I quite like Ellis from your list.