Feb 2010 part III,

[mamaloco]

Sorry I couldn't wait anymore half of us is in the 3rd trimester and half will followed soon
Welcome sharon I have added you to the list

27th Jan Devotion DD1 6yrs & DD2 3yrs
1st Feb Moth2, 1st but also stepdaughter 3 yrs
2nd Feb Raindroprhyme DS1 8y, DS2 4y
2nd Feb Ktpie DS 13m
3rd Feb sunangel88 1st
4th Feb mothrof2boys
5th Feb chinook Dd 3.6yo
7th Feb grin DS 1 yr 6 m
7th Feb mamaloco DD will be 5y near due date
8th Feb fiziwizzle, 1st
8th Feb gingerkirsty, 1st
8th Feb PinguCarrier, 1st
10th Feb Lovelymonster, 1st
10th Feb T4tastic 1st
11th Feb Woowa 1st
12th Feb Fluffycoo 1st
12th Feb Yummylilmummy 1st
13th Feb mignightsun DS 3y
14th Feb tryingtobemarypoppins DS 21months currently!
14th Feb Clappedout DD 21m
14th Feb Pops78, 1st
14th Feb Glynnispig 1st
14th Feb Threeplusone- DD 12.11yrs DS1 5.2yrs DS2 2.1yrs
14th Feb Stoofadoof, DD 2.11
15 Feb AngelaCarleen 1st
15 Feb flyingcloud 1st
16th Feb GuernseyFrench 1st
16 Feb Watercress DD1 2y 10m
16 Feb esselle - DD 5.1y, DS 20m
16 Feb hannahsaunt - ds1 (8.11), ds2 (6.5), ds3 (23mo)
17 Feb Bethylou - DS currently 16 months
17 Feb Becks130 - DS 3.5 yrs
18 Feb Sunnybump - First
19 Feb Sharon137-
20 Feb Gert ds 22m
20 Feb Cluny 1st
21 Feb Pyjamababe - First
22 Feb Skibelle
22 Feb Scoobydoo
23 Feb 2Happy ds1 4y ds2 2y
23 Feb (twins!!) Insanitybecomesme DS1 9yrs, DS2 7yrs. DD3y 3m, DS3 21m
23 Feb TheOldestCat DD 2.9y
23 Feb Phee96 DD 9m
24 Feb Elebereth
24 Feb TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied DS 15m
24 Feb MidgetGems
27 Feb Westlondongirl
28 Feb Mawbroon Due DS 3.10yo

Hey All

Thanks for all your messages.

Sorry to say it but glad I'm not the only one in the situation as whether to have elective caesarian or try for VBAC - its such a difficult choice to make, basically I had a very long labour with DD (72 hours) after trying to go naturally in the home birth room, DD got distressed, heart beat dropped etc and we later found out it was probably due to the fact that she was 9.5 Ibs and I'm only 4ft 11 so quite a big baby and probably just got stuck in my pelvis! They think this baby is quite big too (well tall at least) and the chances of me having the birth VBAC is unlikely plus they found a couple of fibroids on me in the first scan - the consultants have said that it would probably be best to have a c-section but it's my choice and I should be aware of all the risks and the fact that the hospital don't really like c-sections, so basically they think I should have one but want to make me feel guilty for it. On top of that, I feel like a bit of a failure not being able to at least try and missing out on all the excitement as it were and it means DP and I can't go to the anti-natal appointments really so not sure what to do!

We're starting to get all the baby stuff together but might wait to get some stuff in January - I'm thinking maybe mothercare might have a sale?

I'm totally in love with the bugaboo bee but I don't think we're going to afford it What is everyone else thinking about in regards to pushchairs?

Found this coupon code for Jojo maman bebe - gives 15% off and they do free delivery as well. Used it last night to buy a bump support band and worked fine.

Pregnancy brain! The cose for jojo maman bebe is - MTH92

Obviously I meant 'code'.....think I need a lie down!

Hello again - I introduced myself somewhere on a previous page - 27 weeks with DC3 due 14 Feb.

MusicalMum - Pushchairs are definitely on my mind now. Thinking of getting the Nipper Out'nAbout 360 (single). It's very similar to the Phil & Teds E3, which we had last time round - very light, easy to fold, etc. And pretty good value at around £200. You can use the P&T cocoon in it too, which is great for winter babies. Has anyone else used the Nipper?

hello scarysarah glad everything is going well for you. I can think of a few people who haven't posted for a long time, and I hope all is well for them.

When my dp is asked how he found the birth of dd he says it was boring. I was stuck fully dilated for a few hours and he seems to think it was a bit dull. So sorry darling! That said, when it came to the pushing part he was brilliant and I couldn't have done it without him. I think as long as partners stay at the 'head end' they normally cope quite well with all the lovely blood and mess. To be honest I don't think watching it on tv can prepare you for the actual event. It certainly didn't for me.

I need to have a huge whinge this evening. Just as you are all counting down your weeks left at work, I have got to start work! I have been sat at home for 6 months waiting for my company to find me suitable employment for my pregnancy. And now I am 29 weeks they have managed to find something. It is at the company hq at Heathrow which means commuting on the busiest stretch of the M25. Even worse is that there is another airport 2 miles away where I could have been given a job. Grrrrr..... Plus now I have to go and buy office type maternity clothes. I am not impressed. And I do know how fortunate I have been to have been at home for the last 6 months but I am pregnant, and therefore entitled to complain.

Chinook, of course you are entitled to complain!

I am wondering about DH during labour too. His SIL didn't allow his brother in during the messy part and I have a couple of friends who said the same. I REALLY want DH there - definitely not at the business end, but I rely on him so much for support and the idea of going through that all alone without him there is terrifying. I don't want to push him though and I don't want to traumatise him either! Does anyone have any strong opinions on this.

Hmmm my two pence worth flying cloud: He was there at conception, he should be there at delivery! My DP is also awfully squeamish but I've just told him he has to man up and stay at the head end, I really think that it is a man's duty to be there to support you in labour and also to miss out on those first few minutes of his baby's life would be awful.

DP has stopped even making little comments now as he knows there is no room for discussion on this - he calls it the pregnancy rage!

Of course, you may not want your DP there but if you do then I really think he should make every effort to be there to support you.

My DD's father ended up swanning off to the tv room during my 70 hour labour which both the midwives and I found a little cheeky - I'd even put special things in for him in my hospital bag yet he couldn't even be bothered to stick around - pah, it did make me realise how alone I felt during labour and why I in turn probably still have nightmares about it - the hospital can be quite an unnerving place with all the wires, people, smells etc and I'd hate to think of having to go through it on my own again.

You need him there flyingcloud, no question! If nothing else he can hold your hand and mop your brow. There were times during labour when I was scared and felt abandoned by the midwives so I could send him out to fetch someone. He did not find the actual birth too bad, more the lead up to it, and stayed firmly at the head end though did manage to notice when I did a little poo and reminded me afterwards, thanks DP ! Any dignity I had clung on to by that stage went quickly out of the window after that...

PS this is quite common I am told, I hope I haven't shocked any first timers!

Morning everyone

You're definitely entitled to complain Chinook, work is pants. Mawbroon, I can't believe things are still all icky with you and yours, a big cyber hug to you and get well soon Mr Mawbroon.

My DH has been brilliant about being there at the birth - we just both assumed he would be. As we're planning a homebirth he'll have lots of practical stuff to do in between supporting me - pump up and fill the birth pool, put down protective sheets and make tea and snacks for the midwives. I think it's something that's really important to discus beforehand, in terms of what you expect from him, I'm guessing labour is a pretty bad time to be having an argument or feeling abandoned. MMJules, I take it you're no longer with this caring sharing supportive guy who went to the telly room while you did the work. That sounds awful, I'm so glad you have more support this time.

I've been getting bad coxyxx(sp) pain at work from sitting at a desk all day and yesterday had sore hip joints. Apparently the special chair I should have will take up to 7 weeks to arrive, that's another 5 weeks to wait, pah. That and headaches and cramp, yes they're all minor but they are so very wearing.

My belly button is now completely flat and my skin feels as tight as a drum. I'm wondering how much more it can stretch, maybe time to lay off the cakes. [biscuits]

Off to do a wee bit of painting at the new house today. We should be in by the first of December [would jump up and down if I wasn't so huge emoticon] which is fantastic. I love my in-laws but I really am craving nesting space.

Have a good day everyone
X

I do have strong opinions on whether your DH should be there or not. If you want him to be, of course he should!! You (we) are going to go through a life-changing and possibly traumatic experience, and you need the support of the person closest to you. If my DP wibbled I would put my foot down and say that he has to do it, for me.

I'm trying to keep mine at the head end but he wants to be at the business end!! Yuk! And all my friends/family are saying "Oh you can't deprive him of seeing his child born, most magical moment etc etc" whereas I'm thinking, once he's seen that where does it leave our sex life...?

chinook you POOR THING. How long are you going to have to work for? At least it will be broken up by the Christmas break. What bad luck they found you something!

Nope Clappedout, you've not scared me, I'd read about the poo before, lol.

Clappedout - the poo isn't news to me, luckily! I am sure there are lots more surprises in store!
Thanks all for your thoughts and comments.

sunnybump - I am too struggling with coccyx pain when sitting down. When I am working from home I change positions so regularly, from desk to sofa (the best so far for the pain but probably not so good for posture), but I struggle when driving or travelling.

MMJules - can't believe your DD's father! I don't blame you for feeling lonely.

Hi everyone, I've had the ILs here all week helping us decorate, have tried to catch up but there has been a lot said!

Saw the MW this week and the bump was measuring 32cm and I am 29 weeks but she thinks the baby is breach at the moment and that might make the bump higher. Maybe I should stop eating all the pies?
I told her about the fainting and she says to take it easy, BP, sugar etc were all fine.
Apparently at our docs we have to ring up and book in for the SF vaccine, and it won't be available until the first week of December. My lovely MW was very noncommittal about it, certainly not enthusiastic. Still not really decided.

I'd go for DPs at the birth. I'm sure queasy ones will either be too caught up with what is happening to feel queasy and able to stay at the head end, plus there will be chairs available and I'm sure midwives see plenty of queasy men! Maybe worth mentioning on your birth plan so that they are aware?
I was really glad my DH was there, although he did eat all my sandwiches (I couldn't keep anything down anyhow!) He was brilliant, to be honest I would have felt scared without him there, and it was great to have someone to talk to afterwards who knew what had happened (it was all a bit of a blur to me). He saw all the damage fiziwizzle and it doesn't seem to have bothered him!

Chinook - that is rubbish having to start work now.

Sorry to hijack the thread but I 've got to get that off my chest.
We are expat in an ortodox country. A politician just offered to be godfather for unborn child. Refusing would be "political" suicide. DH not in politics but needs politcians for is job in the environment. I don't even think the politician even thought of us not considering baptism at all. He is doing us a favor and we are greatful... But even raised catholic, I was baptised by familly pressure on my parents and have a jewish godfather and orthodox godmother (don't ask), DH is church of Sweden (as everybody born there) with no religious upbringing, his sister is catholic (don't ask).
If we are honnest the closest "religion" which fits our beliefs would be Bouddhism with a mix of some of the old greek philosophers. DD is not baptised we want her to understand what it means before doing it (or not), and honestly that is what I want for this one too. Is there a way to get out of this mess with both party being "happy".
sorry again, not sure where to post this the philosophy thread seems a bit too religious.

mamaloco maybe have a naming ceremony and get him to do something interesting at it, like give a speech. As to how to explain the difference in religion/philosophy to him - surely he understands that different cultures often do differ on that sort of thing? Or if that's not religious enough to be politically comfortable, does the orthodox church offer thanksgiving services like the churches here do?

I would say, if you're not christians and not going to raise DC as one, prob best not to have a baptism since you make lots of declarations that you might not feel comfortable with. Best leave it to DCs to make up mind later. That's only my opinion and more than happy to be disagreed with.

Maybe, since you're expats, come to england where anything goes, and have a naming ceremony here to avoid the issue!!

On other topics, I got my swine flu vaccination appointment this morning. RATS. I was hoping to remain in denial about it! I really don't want to have it, because i would rather avoid all medication during pregnancy (and generally!). And i don't feel like swine flu would be that bad...

I don't like making big decisions...scared about making wrong choice. Sigh.

Off to make cakes now. It's not so exciting during pregnancy as I can't lick the spoon afterwards because of the raw egg!!! . But i do get to eat cake at end, so it could be worse!

BTW, does anyone else have more braxton hicks the more physical stuff they do? I've been quite busy (including putting ikea furniture together) the last couple of days and my uterus s complaining like anything...

Oh - and one more thing! Does everyone poo during birth? What do the MWs do with it? How awful...I didn't know this. Please tell me more!

mamaloco I agree with woowa, can you hold a non-religious ceremony for your DC? I could not go through with a religious ceremony not being religious myself - I couldn't make all those promises knowing that I didn't mean it. But I would like to hold some sort of welcome/celebration for our baby when s/he arrives and was thinking we would have a naming ceremony followed by a party. And we would ask close friends to be... what would you call them... well, we'll have to come up with something before the event (!) but like Godparents but non-religious.

woowa I've been wondering for a while whether the very tight feeling I get across my abdomen when walking to/from the station each day (20 minute walk) is BH. Regular as clockwork, I start walking and my abdomen tightens up. I guess it is!

I confess that I'm worried about the pooing DP and I don't even fart in front of each other (which has been a nightmare some nights in bed when I have gale-force wind and have to keep going to the bathroom to trumpet loudly). I'm planning a waterbirth and have horrible visions of a poo bobbing around or even worse him having to fish it out with a sieve. In fact I've been thinking that I'd drink prune juice when I know I'm in labour to clear it all out. Bad idea?

Hello again ladies

Glad to know so many of us are thinking/feeling the same things. Had my 28 week check this week, and all is fine and dandy. I think my little one is trying out for the role of baby Rocky, with my ribs being the punchbag. I find myself dreamily watching my tummy in awe whilst it undulates!

Leaving maternity-leave til the last minute - 1st Feb (due 10th), but only back in work part-time in Jan to use up holiday entitlement. All my antenatal sessions are in Jan too, so what with the run up to crimbo, and loads to do in Jan, it'll all go very quickly no doubt.

Getting as many tips from friends, you guys and MN as possible. Thinking of buying Mamas and Papas 03 in local exchange - anyone any advice? Want a 3 wheeler, also considering Jane Slalom, Baby Jogger and the Quinny Speedy.

Have a lovely weekend all!

ROFL fizziwizzle - you have totally put me off a water birth

Just wondering what those of you referring to 'the head end' in terms of DPs being present for the birth mean? Assume your own head (obviously!) but therefore are you planning to be lying down when giving birth? I had a similar plan until NCT class last week when they explained about active births, and now am having horrors about dh seeing me in all manner of positions or even helping me into said indignified poses ...but it will help the whole thing be over with quicker. What to do?

Feel I may as well abandon any plan of escaping with a shred of dignity and hope for the best re future sex life?? Any non first-timers out there with some advice?

This DS will be my second so feel I can impart some advice, at least based on my own experience last time round!

I am someone who would rather DH was on a different floor of the house before I have a poo so was dreading doing it in front of him and the medics during labour more than anything else. Unfortunately, it happened every time I pushed (and I was pushing for more than two hours... ) However, although I was aware of it from time to time (and the look on the face of the doc who came to help who managed to be terribly professional, even though he clearly thought it wasn't his job to deal with it), it wasn't nearly such an issue as I thought it would be. DH has managed to avoid talking about it in front of anyone else and doesn't seem to have affected his feelings for me.

I have had to use a glycerin suppository for some tests since then and am vaguely contemplating using one at the onset of labour, but it really wasn't as big a deal as I thought it would be. Some people apparently aren't even aware of doing it!

Head end does generally refer to staying at your head end and away from the business end. Two friends have partners who faint at the sight of blood and needles and both have recently coped fine.

Hope this is all reassuring!

Thanks bethylou it's good to know that wilting flower types like my DH can potentially cope ok with labour! Fingers crossed it will be alright on the night!

HI all not caught up properly been busy with DH away and running after the 3 dc.. esp DS2 who has just started running away from me at every opportunity.. it is surprising how fast you can sprint at 27+wks pg with back and hip pain.. when your LO is running in th emiddle of a car park.. out down the street etc.. All doors in my house have to be locked on a night now.. meaning front, back, kitchen dinning room.. so he cant access them if he comes downstairs before he wakes me..
Dh home tommorrow and I cant wait these last 5 weeks have felt like an eternity.. i am defo on strike from motherely duties housework etc on sunday..

e Dps/Dhs at the birth if you want them there then they should be there.. I want my Dh at my end but know he will be at the business end as it facinates him.. when I had DC2 his first, he watched everything then whilst the mw was cleaning DS up he started to remove the dirty sheets from underneath me saying to the mw.. my wife our mess i will change them!!!!.. I wouldnt mind if he did stuff like that at home lol...
But he is veryt good when I am in labour.. rubbing my back on demand etc.. and laughing at me whilst I m cursing then telling me how much he loves me etc.. I suppose I am luckly to have him realy. When we had Dc3 ds2 my friend came with us and DH said to her you can stay with karen and I will do the business end!!.. which she did up until he shouted I can see the heads to which my friend was soryy *** do you mind but I want to see the baby.. I told her I didnt care at that point intome aslong as he came soon as it was hurting, and she said later it was the most amazing thing she had seen.. ashe has 3 DC herself but obviously never seen a baby come out.. She now has a very special place in her heart fro Ds2.. And keeps asking me when I am going to aske her to be at this birth.. I would happily if she didnt live 2.5hrs away!!

Sorry for waughling.. must go get some sleep.. hope you are all ok have a good weekends xx

PMSL at fizi , definitely wouldn't want to be sharing a pool with floaters!

Luckily my closest friend has had two kids in recent years/months and warned me all about the poo thing (suppose it's kind of inevitable with all that pushing eh?), although she did say the MW just whisked it away without a word. I share the fear about my DH seeing that though - I too am a fan of keeping bodily functions locked away in the bathroom! Also I suspect he may find it hilarious and want to tell everyone...
I did read somewhere that quite often you get a bout of diarrhoea at the onset of labour, which helps clear your bowels anyway...?

Baby has suddenly become very opinionated - if I so much as make a move towards sitting/lying in a position he/she isn't comfy with I get an absolute barrage of violent kicks and punches until I move to accommodate the little cherub! Hardly slept a wink last night! Has also started being quite cute though - seems to like it when DH blows raspberries on my tummy and always responds with friendly little kicks to the sound of his voice! It's really nice for DH, I think he's finally starting to feel involved!

Ahh well, have asked DH if he minds sieving the pool if necessary and he didn't bat an eyelid. As long as they're removed quickly then hey ho...

As far as prams, we're still going for the Maclaren Techno XLR with the carrycot, seems the best long term option for us.

My wee one's very opinionated too! I've just had a big bowl of porridge and he's decided it's infringing on his space in there. I get the same when I sit or lie somehow he doesn't like too. It came in handy the other day when I hadn't felt him move for a long while and was worried - Just sat how he doesn't like and he was quick to protest!