Not yet November but already three babies down! Ooooh oooh nearly there!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

New thread...

kyte that just made me cry

fairybex I had a bfeeding workshop at the weekend - that's where they recommended waiting 6 wks to express! We didn't have a knitted boob - just a rather crazily drawn diagram of one with arrows labelled 'oxytocin' all over the place - but the counsellor did feel it was appropriate to manhandle her OWN boobs in demonstration a few times. Thanks. Thanks for that .

On sterilising bottles for EBM, can you just boil them up in a pan for a while? Saw my friend doing this, but her son is a year old now. The bottles I have are Avent as came from a friend with an Avent breast pump too. Sorry if hopelessly naive newbie question but advice v welcome!Oh - just read your post skorpion, think have answered my Q!

erika sorry to hear about the hard time yourmum is giving you. I don't get on very well with my mum either, and since fighting back when I was living at home and having resultant screaming rows and stress, I have got to the nodding and smiling and fairly monosyllabic answers stage that eassyeggs recommends. It's pretty horrible as I am not myself around her at all but it's better than screaming matches. I am hoping that the baby coming might mend some bridges for us. OTOH, might just make things worse. Anyway, you have my sympathy . I justget scared that my relationship with my daughter could become like this. I know every parent/teenager have their battles but...

Hear hear kyte! You have put it so well, much better than I could. We will all be in floods now...

Hi to all, sorry it has been so long, been very busy working, been on maternity leave for two weeks now and very bored, taken this long to catch up with the threads!
Congratulation to all for having there litle babies!!
So jealous, i am 39 weeks tomorrow, and god i know it, bad tummy, been sick, painful walking, can't sleep, and so ladies fed with being very very fat, pregnancy! i am not blooming, just blooming miserable.
Good news: being induced next wednesday, due to pushing my consultant to agree!.
Bad news: 1. being induced this happened last time with baby number three (10 years ago), not too bad just seems to take much longer. 2. Him in doors got made redundant last thursday, so shocked and very worried, should be ok till jan, but he must get a job soon hate him being under my feet, also we had a company car, so we have had to go out and buy a car!, buy a car with money from our money tree in the garden, all this and a baby on the way.
I do realise what a moaning cow bag i sound sorry ladies, but to everyone alse my end i am sweetness and lite!

Well just to bring all up to date, i have a blood condition called lupu, so unject twice a day, means high risk of bleeding etc, have three kids already 16,13,10, girl boy,boy.
Should be having a girl this time, but only had this confirmed once!!!!!
Sending a bit hug, to all who seems to be having a pooh time recently.
Just to note, You can pick your friends but not your family, and sorry but would not pick mine!!!!!!!!

morning all, am happy, dishwasher just arrived. altho feeling quite sick, purely cos the baby is moving so much. had to get my step-dad to take ds to playgroup as i felt i couldnt walk that far this morning.

Thank you all of you... You've made me cry! I know that teens are supposed to clash with their parents, but this seems beyond the norm. The delivery I was waiting for has arrived early, so I might go into town and just get coffee to get some head space.

Thank you, so much... You're such a lovely bunch. x

erika to you. I completely agree with what everyone else has said, including in particular kyte. Most of our lives to not pan out how we planned, and we end up in places, with people and experiences that we never expected. They make us who we are, they help us develop into adults. Being a mum is part of that, some people do it earlier in life, some later in life.

One of my best friends, she is the same age as me. She is 32, and has a 15 year old son. She fell pregnant when she was 16, she was at art college, had big plans to do art type stuff, and her parents did not support her decision to keep her baby so she left home and was a single mother in a freezing cold bedsit for the first couple of years of her life. (She is now an accountant, realised that as she is so anal with figures, this is a much better choice than an artist!) with her own house, and a wonderful teenage son (no idea how she did it, he is clever, still hugs his mummy, and us, and is a generous and well liked boy). She is young enough to go out and party now with our single friends and go on nice holidays etc. and she is plenty young enough to enjoy it all. Unlike when my DD is 15, I will be fit for retirement I am sure . She also carried on doing things with her young son, like go to festivals. Just wanted to say this because, you can still make your dreams happen. They just happen in a different order.

here here Pav!

Erika I can only echo what others have said so well. You are clearly a bright and perceptive young woman, doing her damndest in a difficult situation. Sadly your mum isn't coping half as well, and is taking things out on you.
You've still got a brilliant future ahead of you, doing all the things you want to do and with a beautiful child too. Hang in there!

pinkmich Not long for you to go now then!

Erika You've just made me think I will go for a coffee now too. I've been at this laptop working since 6am and I'm fed up! I decided (after much deliberation) to turn down some work yesterday as I'm too tired and have lots to do already, only to be rung this morning and asked to reconsider as it would 'really help them out'. I wanted to say that it would have really helped me out if they hadn't basically stopped giving me work a few months ago when I really needed it, but of course, mug that I am, I just said I would do it. I'm off for a coffee and a sulk cake before I pick up DD from nursery.

Goodness.. All this good advice erika and I too will echo what they've said. Children enhance our lives and make them richer in every way....you will soon find out. when you become a mum, it seems that nothing is impossible.

My God, I am so emotional today!

I am sat here crying at all the wonderful things you have all said to Erika and at the horrible things her mum has said to her Erika I really feel for you but, want to second all the things the others have said, especially Kyte and although I don't really know you I feel as though I know you well enough to say that its obvious you are going to be a wonderful mum to Bryn. I'm sending you lots of hugs and a big to cheer you up!

I have had some fantastic news this morning (which also made me cry) My stepdad is coming home today when I told the boys their eyes lit up and they cheered, they are so excited. Ds2 who is 3 said I love grandad and have missed him so much ahh.
I really want to say a huge thank you to you all for all your support over the last 5 weeks while dsd has been in hospital, I really feel as though you have been great friends listening to me go on, so thank you.

On a lighter note (and before I run out of tissues) I wonder how Preggo and ursi are doing?

Oh and forgot to say I have just made a batch of Kytes cookies mmmm wonder if there will be any left for anyone else....

Erika you are going to be a wonderful mum and reading your post about what your mum said to you made me cry too. How could she???? How cruel. Big, big hugs from me. Keep your head held high. You ARE going to be a great mum and breast feeding is natural and should not be hidden away. What b***ks.

I've been clearning out the toys - taking hours! What to do with those itty bitty things that have no home? Like the odd Bob the Builder figure, odd jigsaw pieces, marbles?

Laugs when are you starting maternity leave? I feel for you as a fellow freelancer: it's hard juggling work and late pregnancy. I find though I can't sit still! I've had three days so far with maternity leave and no work and I haven't sat still for more than five minutes!

Grr - I am back as the cafe I went to was closed for refurbishment and it was too far to get to another one in time. Making do with decaf instant coffee instead - some treat!

Tigger Brilliant news about your step-dad! I'm so pleased. And your boys sound so cute. What you said yesterday about the fear of dying in childbirth - I was like that last time too. It became a bit of an obsession actually. I wish I'd talked to someone about it because I could have rationalised it and realised how unlikely that is to happen. I also think it led to me panicking in labour, so I'm really trying to be more chilled out this time (is that a contradiction in terms?). I think it's helped listening to the natal hypnotherapy cds - do you have anything like that?
Also, was it you who had the panic attacks back in the summer? I've had them quite a few times and know how awful they are, but I seem to be getting better at managing it with breathing/ clearing my head etc. I really do think the mind and body are so closely linked with all these anxiety issues.

Becky I don't know when I'm starting maternity leave, but at the moment it's looking like the baby is not allowed to arrive early! I'm due in three weeks and have two more weeks' worth of work to do, but everything's taking me longer than usual, what with forgetting my words and all! Also, my heart's not in it at all any more, which doesn't help.

Can I give you all a huge great big (teary) hug please? You've made me feel so much better. I still don't think I can forgive mum for what she said to me last week, but I am going to take the wonderful advice from you all about being civil, and simply nodding along. Just to make life that bit easier until I can find somewhere else to stay. Thank you giant hugs to everyone Tigger that's such fantastic news, am so happy for you all!! Give him a cuddle from everyone on MN

Pinkmich good to hear from you, if we don't see you before your induction, good luck

Oh and meant to say - Laugs that's a shame about the cafe The bus services around here are playing up so I'm not getting any coffee either... Was really looking forward to a Caramel Latte and a huge chunk of So Bad It Must Be Good kinda cake!!

Erika big big hugs to you. I'm so sorry for the things your mum has said. Good for you to rise above it and just nod in the right places. My best friend got pregnant while we were doing our a-levels at school. It was certainly not what she has planned for her life, but she went ahead and is the best mum to a now 14 year old, 10 year old and 5 year old. She didn't get to university like she had planned, but that isn't to say she isn't thinking about it now the children are older and at school. Her parents were supportive in a disappointed sort of way which was really hard for her, but she got on with it. She also had to bring the oldest one up on her own as her other half at the time left her when she was pregnant. She is now happily married with three wonderful children and as much as things didn't pan out the way she thought, she wouldn't change her children for the world. You will make a wonderful mum to Bryn. You have already coped with so much in your life and having him will bring you so much joy that anything will seem possible.

I had the worst nights sleep last night. I couldn't sleep for one thing and another. I think I might have sinusitus but don't want to do anything about it today as seeing the consultant later and just going to steam it away before seeing her as don't want any more excuses for having to keep this baby inside any longer! I need to have the baby for my own sanity. I can't keep not sleeping etc. Please keep fingers crossed that this consultant is nice! I'm petrified of being ripped in half again

Meh, another false alarm last night. I was getting pianful contractions, all round my bump back and legs for about two hours, every five minutes, lasting about 45 seconds, then they stopped. I was so upset this morning when I woke up and realised I had slept through without being woken up by them starting again.

DD is coming down with something I think. She is really clingy and grumpy, and she keeps saying "ow" to herself, but won't tell me what is up. I have given her some calpol and sent her to bed for a nap. Hopefully she will be better later.

erika hope you're feeling a little better today. FWIW, I had my daughter at 20 when I was supposed to be going to Uni. I'd been living away from home for a few years by that point but it still wasn't what my Mum had hoped for me. I dropped out of Uni to have her, then went back when DD was 1.25. I have since gone on to have a successful career (I got a 2:1 in my degree) and am now in a situtation where I own my own home and have a great DH and DS with this one on the way. DD is now 15 and is a lovely girl (most of the time!!)
Uni was certainly different with a child in tow, but we managed it. I was a single mum until she was 9 but we got through and it certainly helped me become the person I am today. DD is polite, respectful and I'm told a credit to me, so it's not a given that you end up breeding an asbo!
Your Mum will be struggling at the moment as her hopes for you have not been realised. I suspect that this backlash is far more to do with her feeling she has failed you, than your actions iyswim. She is probably feeling like she should have seen this, or has let you down somehow, and is just lashing out. I'm not excusing what she's said, just trying to get you to see that it's her issues not yours. You are almost there now, hence it's all come to the surface.

Did she bottle feed you and your DB? If so, that's where her feeding comments are coming from too - I get variations on them and I'm 35!!! By choosing another way of raising our babies, our mothers can take it as a sign that we don't approve of the choices that they took and can get defensive. This is my 3rd baby, and Mum has already started with the comments of not struggling to bf and to go with bottles if it's not working straight away.
I now also nod and smile and think I'll just do what I want! Think it's harder for you as you are living under the same roof, but you have your sanctuary in your room for you and Bryn so use that when you need.

I promise, it will all change when he's actually here. Any misgivings your Mum may have (and you for any plans having to be put on hold) will disappear and you'll all be amazed at the little angel that has come to join you. My DB was 12 when DD was born and he was completly smitten.

There's a lot of love on this board today . erika your mum sounds like she is unsettled by the prospect of you having to go through the pain of giving birth and the intensity of rearing a baby. She is probably nervous on your behalf, a bit shocked in herself that her wee girl is growing up fast and overwhelmed that it's all happening under her roof too. All this manifests itself in weird ways, but the only way for you to deal with is is as others have said to develop duck feathers and let it wash. It'll come in most handy when dealing with MW/HV after the birth too.

pink good luck!

DD has come down really suddenly with something today, and I feel at a bit of a loss without my trusty childminder neighbour for reassurance. She was VERY bubbly this morning and having a loud day. Granny took her for a swimming lesson and in the changing room afterwards she suddenly came over all quiet, complaining of a sore side. MIL thought she'd hurt her whilst changing. She was silent in the car on the way back (unheard of), pale and disinterested when she arrived at the house. Temp 38-38.5, cold skin. We watched some cbeebies then tried a banana sandwich which seemed to be going down well until she said she needed the loo halfway through it. We went, and had to wait for a poo. Her innards are a bit gurgly. Well 3 stories from the Thomas annual later, nothing emerged and she fell asleep on the toilet leaning on my shoulder! So the wee toot is having a nap now. I've run out of calpol after the chicken pox so we must go and get some when she wakes up.

southern good luck with your consultant. I really hope that your faith is restored in the system and you get treated like a patient rather than a lump of meat.

Erika have just read your post, but not all replies to it and realize this may be repeating things. Sweetheart, you make me cry. You are young, you will have the child and before you know it you'll be back on track with your plans for being a translator plus a wonderful child that'll look up to you for working hard on realizing your dreams.
Your mom sounds like she is a bit freaked out about not having control over your life, and obviously has not the faintest idea about communication. Don't get side tracked by anger or frustration. You can do this and you will. Instead of letting yourself be emotionally brought down by unconstructive people, even family, brainstorm ways of getting what you want. There are grants and ways to catch up and it all has been done before. All the best, honey.

Erika and Scarlotti I get the same sort of comments about feeding as you talk about as my mum, MIL and stepmum all bottle fed their children. My mum really upset me the other day because she asked me 'are you going to try to breast feed again?' and I said yes and she gave a deep sigh and said 'really, is it worth it?' I realise she wasn't meaning to hurt me and in a way my tenacity to keep trying might be seen as a dig at her not trying (she tried with number 1, my brother, but didn't with my sister or me but that was perhaps more because in the 1960s and 1970s things were different and the choice was less emotive than it is now).

Anyway, these are the sorts of things we have to deal with with our mothers. It is always hard for mothers when their daughters have babies I think, even if they are happy with the situation. When I had DS1 DH had a blog about DS1 and he made a comment on it that upset my mum, something about her giving advice, he didn't mean anything horrible, but she took it very much to heart and they didn't speak for nearly a year. It was just the worst time ever for me. I couldn't get them to make up. They did in the end... but that's a long story. My point is that mothers do find it hard when we have children and that might explain their erratic behaviour at times!

DS2 and I have just been shopping and I had the worst stitch ever I could hardly walk. I thought I was dying! Then went to the loo and felt better

Sorry ladies, no time to read all your posts. MIL, like my dh, wants me to make every little poop decision about what is going to happen next next, and is glued to my butt demanding I'll be her best friend when I don't want to be as I don't like her much. Also DH is passive agressive at its worst as I thought I might get into labour last night then didn't and also didn't let him sleep in today as had to help with dd and mil. Could kick both to the moon. Sort of hope baby won't come while mil is here, as she promised to hold the baby while I cook. Yeah right, sister.

Damn it. I want to be left alone. I am unsocial at the best of times, but right now especially is not the time to tell me that there is really very little space left on my lap for dd, that I do have a very pronounced appetite and that I am looking at a world of trouble with two kids.

Oh dear comma

Sounds like a really stressful situation. It is SO annoying when people state the bloody obvious (like no space left on your lap) and WHY do people make insensitive, hurtful and downright RUDE comments like the others you mentioned?? I really don't get some people...