Due March 2010 - we're halfway there!

[annamama]

... this is a new thread following on from the last one, welcome oldies & newbies ...

My dad has just gone back home so now it's only me and DD again for one more week, then DH finally comes home next Thu. It was really nice to have some company but there wasn't that much he could really do as DD is very clingy with me and wants mummy all the time... "mamma mamma MAMMA". She better get used to being daddy's girl come march time!

I agree with all the other, great news from the Caitni camp! Has the bleeding stopped now? Maybe liking orange & green is a NJ thing then...

This is the ikea high chair, it's fab. You can buy/use it with or without a tray. We use the tray most of the time even at the table, easier to clean off mess.

Glad to hear others are thirsty too. I made sure I drank loads yesterday and then wasn't that thirsty during the night.

Another low BP girl here, normally around 100/70, in pg 90/60. I've read as long as you don't have any symptoms a low number doesn't matter.

Mummyscrummy - we have a very "plain" looking sling, not sure what brand. Slings are great! Only thing that sent an unsettled DD to sleep during the days when she was little. Sometimes sling + bouncing on birthing ball was needed.

Smac - great that you found your dog! Woof. How was your de-brief? Was it with an actual doctor or just midwife? Was it helpful? Hmm, I'd like one too, am still going over and over DDs birth (lots of intervention, some unneccessary me thinks), especially now when another birth is approaching, but I might just settle for discussing it with my midwife.

Thanks for sharing potty training experiences, I guess 1 1/2 is way too young, I'm being a pushy mum here! We are just playing with the potty for the time being, at least Upsy Daisy likes having a wee & poo in it...

Hope everyone who is ill will feel better soon!

Caitni a quick one on bleeding. I've bled on and off throughout - last time about a week ago. Again usually brown blood, but sometimes redder.

I have something called endometriosis - which is totally harmless and means some of the cells from inside your womb get a bit overexcited and start to grow on the other side of your cervix. They aren't really meant to be there so are super sensitive and bleed.

Mine isn't triggered by anything specific - just seems to happen from time to time and has no effect on the baby.

Could be that you also have this (took them a few internals to diagnose me - joy of joys!) so if it happens again and you're worried, mention this to them, as it's really reassuring to have a cause.

Just got an email from Sainsburys - they are doing 50% off baby toiletries and wipes. Includes cotton wool, breast pads, lansinoh cream and some of their mum to be goodies.

Not sure if it's instore as well as online, but I'm adding it to my next shop so I can cross that off my 'to buy list'!

Oooh, thanks for the heads up, rebeccacad - I'll take a look (and probably place an order) online right now!

Any excuse for baby shopping eh Manda, as my DH would (will) say!

Did this thread fall into the Bermuda Triangle? Not like anyone to miss a chance of posting for 18 hours!!!!

Morning alllllll. DD and DS had another sleep over last night. This time they were together in DD's room. The thinking being that they need to practise not pratting around all night and waking up at Sparrow Fart the next morning. Turns out they need more practice........

I'm still here...

Been reading lots of other stuff here on mumsnet, mostly about childbirth. It's always good to be prepared and to have read a few scary stories, oh and the odd good one too!

EmLou I see you got a little bit of advice & support on your thread about iugr. I think the person there was right about it's good to know as much as possible yourself so you can question everything the docs say, of course you should listen to them as well but it doesn't hurt to be critical of all information. At least that's my philosophy, but then I was always consider a trouble maker at work for asking the simple question "why" too much. I digress, sorry... Fingers are crossed for you! X X

I've noticed there's a topic called birth announcements, I have already written mine, it goes like this:

9 am feel first contractions, have a bath while DH massages my back and we end up making love, this seems to speed up labour, so 10 am call hospital with contractions 5 mins apart. Getting in birthing pool and coping wonderfully with gas & air. 11 am pushing for 10 mins, then baby girl slitheres out with no tear to my lady bits, she latches straight on to boobs and everything is happy peaceful bliss.

annamama - thanks for the comments about IUGR advice. I found some of the info very frightening but there were some positve stories too so I am just going to keep an eye on the little one's movements and do everything the docs say.

Love your birth announcement - you won't believe me but with DS it wasn't far from that (bar the making love which was really the very last thing on my mind). Went into labour around 7am, had a bath and a wander around, DS born at 2.45 pm, managed to have a nap in the middle of it all for about 90 mins and was back in my room eating toast by 3.15 (third stage labour was only about 30 mins and I only had one stitch).

Re the breast feeding though - that was another story as DS was tounge tied and it wasn't noticed for two weeks (two excrutiating weeks of bleeding nipples after which DS finally had his toungue operated on and was like a different child when he went back onto the breast).

Off to docs in a minute to have blood pressure, urine and fundal height check. Fingers crossed no more bad news!

annamama - I loved your birth announcement! I wish mine could be something similar but this will be my first baby, so I'm preparing myself for a terrible and long labour!

EmLou - good luck!

Hi!

I'm writing this while I have stew cooking on the stove (TLC = domestic wonderwoman). My PIL are coming up tomorrow afternoon to help DH and I paint and decorate the nursery.

Cooking them stew to feed them for lunch.... I don't plan to paint, so will have to busy myself with other things.... sorting out baby clothes and toiletries and stuff.

I bought some baby clothes this morning, some new, some 2nd hand. I plan to wash them all before baby C is born, but need some advice.

What temp should baby clothes be washed at? Is it best to wash them on their own, or can they be put in with other washing? Is it too early to wash them now (at 25 weeks), and if it is, when should they be washed and got ready? I'm impatient and excited, want to do it all now!!!

Morning ladies

Annamamma LOVE your birth announcement . Wouldn't that be lovely [sigh]

Arcadie sorry to hear you're so knackered! Are you planning on having your two older DC share a room once DC3 arrives? Interesting what you say about ER type birth stories, as I've been similar (which probably made my panic worse ) but the labour ward and maternity day unit were so very...calm...and quiet...not at all what I was expecting!

Rebecca thanks for the Sainsbury's heads up and the endo info. I don't have endo (I had IVF to conceive, so had some pretty extensive tests to rule things out) and this was the first bleed of the pregnancy. Glad you have an explanation for yours though - must have been pretty terrifying at times!

Manda It must have been so terrifying for you when you had that bleed a couple of weeks ago, though the 24 hour monitoring is such a good idea. My placenta is posterior high so the official explanation seems to be "have no idea what caused it" . I'm now too chicken for any lovin' with DH for the time being, as don't want to do anything that might trigger another one! Poor old DH

Smac hope your de-brief went well. It's a really good idea to clear the air, so to speak, about your first birth well before DC2 comes along . And so glad your dog showed up - must have been so worrying!

Pixie glad to hear DD2 will be off crutches by Christmas - yay!

Heckle hope the lurgy clears up soon - must be awful to be sick and self-employed.

IWCAS I love your name choice - unusual but quite noble sounding (and I also like Ramsay Macdonald, so I actually thought of it more of a first name than a surname...which is funny as I'm also not a fan of surnames as first names, since Irish-Americans have turned so many Irish surnames into first names - Ryan, Brady, Brennan etc). On the old-fashioned names front, we're thinking of Walter as a middle name for a son, after my DH's grandad, who passed away when he was a teenager. In fact, we're thinking Margery as a middle name for a daughter as my DH's grandmother (marge) is my favourite person is family (after my DH of course!).

Pacific & Heckle another Niamh fan here - it works in the States too (I personally don't like Neve, but that's because where I'm from it's pronounced more Nee-ave rather than Neeve iykwim). It's also associated with fair hair (Niamh of the Golden Hair in Tir na nOg, one of my favourite Irish myths), which works for us as we're both fair haired. So it's definitely on our shortlist for girls names.

EmLouT glad you've taken some days off work. And glad that you're getting some advice/support on your IUGR thread too.

Mummyscrummy I'm also interested in slings and so far the Close sling has emerged as a contender - we've been given a baby bjorn, so my DH wants to use that but I've a hankering for a sling but reckon I'd be rubbish at anything I have to actually tie each time! There's a slings section on MN, where you can get some advice too.

Hope everyone else is well and having a good Friday

We had our first NCT class last night - it was great. In my ignorance, I didn't think it would be run by a midwife (was kind of expecting it to be run by a volunteer!) so was so glad to have such a fountain of knowledge on hand. We seem to have a nice bunch of people too, which is good. I was also able to fit in pregnancy yoga beforehand, and wasn't too knackered, which was good as I heart my pregnancy yoga teacher so much I'd be sad to have to give it up!

I've also brought my maternity leave start date forward to 5 Feb (from 12 Feb - my EDD is 2 Mar) as this week has brought home to me that it's OK to take a bit of time before the birth to just be (that sounds super cheesy but I've realised it's OK to have a bit of time to rest and relax and adjust from finishing work to becoming a mother).

So by the end of today I'll have 49 working days left (I need a count-down system a la IWCAS )

afternoon ladies.
I've calmed down since the dog disappearing act but it was really stressful at the time. I truly thought she would have got squashed as she was close to a lot of busy roads.
My debrief yesterday was quite good. I originally was told that I would go over my notes with a mw but in the end it was the same consultant that I saw at my 12w scan. I didn't take to her then and felt the whole appointment was such a rush but yesterday she took the time to go through my notes and listen to my concerns and we have agreed to try for VBAC but we have a plan in place that I feel happy with. My notes were a bit sketchy from DD's birth and the doc that had written the vital parts is no longer part of the team - not sure what the full story behind that one is - however consultant feels there is no reason why I couldn't have a vaginal birth this time. I think I had too much gas and air last time and I also felt there was a huge gap between being told I was going to theatre and having the spinal and this was the worst bit as I'd been pushing and then was literally trying to keep the baby in! Anyway she's recommended an early epidural and no trial of instrumental delivery, any probs or concerns straight to theatre, no hanging around. Although it's not all clear what went wrong with DD's birth I feel more relaxed about the whole thing. I got an extra scan and she has plotted baby's size in my notes and baby is almost at the 75th percentile line so not a small one but not worryingly huge either although she did say that at 26w it was a bit early to get a good idea of final size. Next consultant appointment is at 38w - gulp!
annamama we have the same Ikea highchair. I did BLW and used that forum to find out more about it all and it came highly recommended there - so easy to clean and nice and upright.
I also love your birth announcement!
TLC you can wash baby clothes at any temp as far as I know. Best to use non bio and wash them all together but I soon gave that up and started mixed washes and moved to bio to get rid of nasty stains! Good to start with the best of intentions!
I know nothing about slings - they always seem to me to have so much fabric bunched up that I can't imagine that they are comfortable or easy to use. We had a loan of a Tomy front carrier which I found easy to use and DD was very comfortable in it. I used it for dog walking mostly and then progressed to a Bushbaby back carrier when she was 6 months old. I know there are lots of sling addicts about but I found the carriers suited my requirements (dog walking)and then used the buggy for town.
EmLouT some of the replies to your thread on IUGR were scary. I hope you are staying calm and getting the information and support you need.

Hey IWCAS we were busy typing at the same time.
I think you should squeeze Gordon in there too - Ramsay Edwin Gordon sounds good !
Right I'm going to try and give you some reassurance. Although the FSIDs campaign strongly recommend that you don't fall asleep in bed together or on the sofa there are loads and loads of people who co-sleep with their infants and even those who don't intend to seem to do so at some point or another. My DH was/is dead against co-sleeping but I have to say that sometimes when I pulled DD into bed for a night feed I would dose off with her beside me. The important factors are if they are low birthweight, if you smoke and if you are taking drugs or been drinking and not fully 'with it'. Sometimes a baby will only settle with mummy close by and sometimes mummy is so exhausted that she does fall asleep. I wouldn't worry about it too much, especially at this stage.
As for lonelyness I recommend getting out and about and meeting other mums. I moved countries when I was pg with DD and had cabin fever when I was pg (stuck at home with no work and limited social contact) so when DD arrived I was out the door and off to meet people! My husband works long shifts so I need a structure to my week and things to do to fill the time when he wasn't home. My family were miles away and all my old friends were too. I have made one really good friend and a number of other 'mummy' friends through various groups. Once you start going to some things you hear about more things too. My local family centre has also been excellent and they have 'drop in' sessions every weekday morning. Monday is BF group which I went to and I found that great too.
If you are keen to breastfeed then please do try it and if you can't do it then ask for help. The mw at the hospital should help get you started, you get home visits from the mw and there are various phonelines you can call. You and baby both have to learn what you are doing. It is worth persisting (IMO as once you've got is sussed it is just so convenient) I introduced formula at 9m and it took me ages to get my head around it all, remembering all the things I needed to take with me etc at least your boobs are always with you and the milk is at the right temperature.

... do you really want "Gordon" and "Ramsay" in the same name?

love Ramsay btw

I definitely wouldn't describe myself as a dab hander but, ICWAS, does it help to hear that I think a lot of what you are worried about are things that most first-time mothers worry about? And I'd also lay money on the fact that the fact that you're worrying about them suggests that, contrary to your fears about your "selfishness" / lack of motivation, you will be a good mother. Some of it will be instinct but a lot of it won't - and, like anything else, the skills and tricks you'll need to cope with your particular circumstances will take time to acquire.

The exhaustion thing... Well, yes, the tiredness that comes with a newborn is like no other tiredness. But it's great that you're thinking about that now! I didn't. It never occurred to me that I might spend night after night sitting on the sofa holding a baby who wouldn't let me put him down and struggling not to fall asleep myself whilst dimly but desperately wondering how I'd survive another day after almost no sleep. (DISCLAIMER: Not all newborns are like this.) But it's sure as hell at the front of my mind now - and I'm working out how I'll deal with it if the same situation arises again. You can work out a similar strategy too. What about a bedside cot that attaches to yours? Or co-sleeping? I know you are worried about falling asleep in bed with your baby but, as Smac says, there are ways of minimising any risk. Also, your mother lives close by, doesn't she? What you may find would help would be to have her (or someone else - have a rota, maybe?) come round each evening for a couple of hours. She can hold your baby while you rest/bath/eat. Same at the weekends. The big thing is SLEEP WHENEVER YOU CAN and whenever anyone gives you the chance. (Sorry for the caps - just wanted to emphasise the point.) I didn't - at least at first - and consequently got myself into a bigger mess than was perhaps necessary.

Breast feeding: no, it doesn't come naturally to everyone and not all hospitals have good support systems. However there might be a breastfeeding workshop near you where you can go for advice. It will also give you somewhere to go during the day. (That's another top tip that I didn't really follow last time: get out - preferably to meet people - every day. Doesn't really matter where: NCT mums' meet-up, baby classes, meet childless friends for lunch. Anywhere really.) Also, think about contacting LaLecheLeague. They're not to everyone's taste (no pun intended) but they have a lot of useful breastfeeding advice to offer - and a helpline. No reason why you couldn't call them in advance.

Oh, and of course you will be loved again. For a start, your baby will love you - not what you mean, I know - and I am sure that, in time, you will meet someone else much much lower down the f*ckwittage scale than your ex. Who knows, having a child may be a useful filter.

Smac, your debrief sounds good. It must have been a relief to talk it over with someone and to be able to come up with a plan for this time round. And very glad your dog turned up. We had a dog that was prone to running off: once he was collected from the police station (where I was asked to wait while he finished his supper FFS) and another time he was caught stealing sausages from someone's kitchen....

anna, do you mind if I duplicate your birth announcement? You've also convinced me that I need one of those Ikea highchairs. We also have a Chicco one (a well-meant present) and oh how I hate it! The crooks and the crevices where all manner of food can hide. Plus, it's ugly....

anna Love the birth announcement although would likely take scissors to DH's bits if he tried the love making during labour...

Good evening, ladies, I am just checking in and marking my place .

We had a power failure last night (2nd one in a week) and therefore no internet!! Today busy and loooooong day at work, dinner for DH and me is alsmost ready.

Read all your posts. Lots of stuff happening by the sounds of it and most of it good thankfully.

Anyway I am too knsckered to contribute anything meaningful.

Take care .

your post really made me smile pixie!!!!

hope everyone has a good weekend!

Just to wish you all a lovely weekend.
I had my swine flu vaccine yesterday afternoon and my arm is very sore. But apart from that I feel fine and the baby has been moving and kicking.
It's very dark outside so I have no excuse for not to work on my thesis

Take care

hi Ladies
so glad you are ok Caitni i was reading the thread with my heart in my mouth..

ICWAS Im constantly concerned about isolation and not coping and like you Im quite an independant woman - like someone said - it shows - I hope - that we will be ok as we are thinking it through..

I had the weirdest thing yesterday - I felt like I was going to collapse in Sainsburys (where incidently lots of baby things are 1/2 price). So I went to the checkout, had to take off my coat as was so hot and started panicing about fainting or something in public and making a dick out of myself. Managed to pay for shopping and go to car and then drove 1 hour home freaking out that I would pass out or couldnt concentrate properly. I know it isnt the best thing to do but I didnt want to give in to it, if it was 'just' a panic attack, which Ive had in the past while driving (just 3 or 4) and I found the best thing is to not give in otherwise Id never drive again..! So when I finally got home and took stock of myself I realised I was really dizzy, fairly steady pulse so not a panic attack, and completely freaked out. Baby thankfully seemed ok. DH came home at 9pm and I went to bed. Woke up this morning feeling slightly hungover but fine now, but with the unusual sypmtom of a swollen fanjo - it actually feels bruised! (definitly not caused by bedroom activity .

So they might not be related but any ideas?? I think maybe yesterdays dizziness could be related to work (inspection bollocks that upset me last week) but didnt have my classic panic attacks symptoms.. or do I have some kind of weird pregnancy thing that again I was in ignorance of???

hope you are all having a less swollen weekend..

Hi everyone, just wanted to say thanks to everyone who recommended the NCT, I had my course this week, it was excellent. I've got loads of great advice from them and made some new friends in the process.

anna totally agree about highchair, in fact it applies to all other baby items, big bulky expensive ones (pushchairs, high chairs etc) often get changed later on for more simple, lighter easier to use models, really wish I'd known that with DS1

rebecca thanks for sainsburys idea, I've also joined their baby club, I think you can get extra nectar points if it's your 2nd child too

We are in the midst of potty training here, so not much time to post, just popped in for quick update.

xxxxxxx

Hello, all, hope your weekend is not quite as damp as ours! And very sincerely hope none of you got flooded - I can't think of anything more soul destroying than finding your house filled with dirty, cold, wet mud.

IWCAS, and any other first time mum-to-be on here : I so understand your concerns about isolation etc. And it is not like they are not justified... Life does get considerably more complicated with a baba in tow and I know I struggled quite a bit from that rather sudden loss of independence (and I do not mean trekking in the Himalayas or raving til 4am; just being able to go for a wee without DS1 either screaming his head off or having him sit on my lap - yes, baby on mummy's lap whilst she is having a wee ...).
Personally, I think the reason why 2nd and subsequent children are often perceived to be "easier" is at least partially because by then mums have learnt to roll with it more, remind themselves "this too shall pass" and having given up a fair bit of self...
I certainly found DS2 inspite of all the worries and special care he needed because of his prematurity much easlier to look after, and DS3 is just joy .
The absolutely Most Important Thing whilst on mat leave was to get out of the house at least once a day, it almost did not matter where we went: Bfing group, friends, toddler group, park, shops etc...

Baby gear: I would also say if in doubt, go with the lighter/easier to move/cleanable option. Expense aside, there are things I just cannot get my head around like cashmere jumpers for babies - I am sure they are lovely and soft, but how much handwashing does one need when looking after a small child?? Or is that kind of merchandise aimed at those of us with staff ? Well, I can always dream of those Euromillions...

siamese, that sounds like a scary experience. Glad you are ok. You could maybe just have had a rather low blood pressure? 'Tis quite common in young women, worse when pregnant and different people tolerate different levels of "low" IYKWIM. Also you can feel more symptomatic if your bloodcount is also a littly bit low. If you keep not feeling right, it is really worth it to have your midwife check you out.

I got an appointment through for a 30 week scan after Christmas (growth scan) just to check that bubs is growing as my ancient body cannot be trusted to make a decent placenta... Looking forward to the scan, but just having that appointment stuck to the fridge has now made me worry more about LO's growth, gah... EMLouT, you and your bump are in my thoughts, hope all is well.