They put me on Prozac in January, but after two months of not feeling any better they switched me to Citalopram last month. The GP then doubled the dose today. Seeing psychiatrist later on this month.
It's very weird, I used to not care about anti-U.S. stereotypes because I'd just think 'well, that's not me, and people will figure that out once they get to know me'. No trouble chatting to anyone. Now I feel like a shadow of myself. People have to ask me to speak up because I talk quietly and mumble in hopes of not being spotted.
I don't leave the house much with not going to work. I spend way too much time on MN. And nearly every day something jumps out at me from a thread that is negative about the U.S./people from there--not just threads where the title suggests it's going to be like that either. Was just reading something on phrases/words that annoy people, and there were a few entries about American phrases/accents. On its own, not a big deal, but when you read negative stuff about your nationality every single day, it gets depressing. You start to wonder what people really think when they meet you. With the depression, I'm having a hard time separating out what is paranoia and what isn't.
Sorry I'm having a bit of a wallow here. DH tried to tell me my accent was 'sexy' today and all I could do was cry at him. If we ever went to live in the U.S., people would hear his accent and automatically think he was intelligent. I feel like people here hear me and think I'm stupid, ignorant, lazy, wasteful, rude, annoying, war-mongering, pushy, loud, obnoxious, bossy and all the rest of it, until I can prove otherwise.
Sorry again, I've been wanting to write something like that for ages but could never quite get it out. I'll probably look back in a few months and think how daft it all sounds.