Due April 2009: Episode 18 - Mumble gets married and we have triplets and twins here!!

[PuzzleRocks]

Let the ramblings commence.

Electra, you know yourself best, surely. Do you think you will flip in labour? Obviously not, and you don't need her 'permission' for a home birth. If you just tell her you want one then she'll have to buckle down. It's good the psych is on your side, very important, that.

A lot of people don't understand mental health in pg and postnatally. Remember the PND quiz they all do with you after the birth - "Do you feel like topping yourself?" or some such being one of the questions. I mean, realistically, as someone who spent a good proportion of the second trimester weighing up the best way to hang herself from the rafters successfully, do I really think people are going to sit there and say "Yes"?????

I dont remember having the pnd quiz [left out emoticon]

You didn't miss anything Nutty.

www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/40002172/

Nutty, just seen your post on other thread.

How about 'developing' mental health probs and asking for a psychiatric referral and going down that avenue for a cs??? Just a thought.

ALternatively switch consultants??

Thanks Boff xx am seeing mw tommorow so will as for a referal and a switch. it really is doing me in and im so fooking scared.

sorry.

Well, from what you have said, the higher powers are recommending a normal delivery, because you are likely to get better more quickly afterwards. This is actually appropriate medical advice, I think, based on what I have read.

After what you said about hydro I honestly think water birth is your only realistic option for achieving this though, in any proper sense.

However being scared is a horrid thing and if you are really haunted by it, then as electra says, stand your ground and ask for a cs if that will make you happier. You will probably have 6-12 weeks of recovery instead of 2 weeks, but at least your head will be in a better place.

Do what you feel is right for you.

Now nuts have you checked your email? Because I sent you something to cheer you up.

Thanks Boff xx love the panty liner one

i know what they are saying makes sense, i truly do. I just cant grasp how the heck i'm going to do it even with an epidural (how are they going to get it in there?? i cant even be stroked by a physio fgs), i have nightmares about being torn in two, being crippled, rejecting my baby because of the pain.

I'm all for going with the flow and seeing how things pan out but i have a huge niggling doubt that they are wrong on this one which is stupid really as they are the proffessionals and should know what they are talking about and really i should be reassured by that, its highly possible that the standard of care so far has knocked my confidence.

I wish there was more they could do to reassure me tbh.

also it may help if the people like the hydrotherapist didnt make comments like "you're joking, they're letting you do it naturally how do they expect you to manage that"

lol glad i dont have to take that test now i would be put into a padded cell lol

apologies for my dark nighttime ramblings

Hello Nutty from the other padded cell.

The panty liner one was truly hilarious, wasn't it? The way he had carefully placed one on his little willy ... honestly I was crying with laughter.

As DS2 said to me "That will hurt when he takes it off"!

To me it's sounding like physically you could do a normal delivery, from what they say, but mentally you couldn't. I have learned so much about pain since I got SPD, and I know now that the psychology is so intricately intertwined with the physical here that is plays a key part in the process.

So the physio touching you, or the anaesthetist putting in an epidural may not cause further damage, but you might feel immense pain anyway because of the way your pain has been poorly managed up until now.

I think you have to get out of pain as much of the time as possible with the help of the hospital pain team, and see someone about the head stuff, so you know how to move forwards.

I would also be tempted to go down the acupuncture route at this stage as a kind of last resort. But get someone good.

It will be so great when this is over and we can get better.

Good morning

That was a bitch of a migraine. I went straight to bed and didn't get up again. I won't be able to that iin a few weeks. Hopefully they are just pregnancy related. I have never had them before.

I hope everyone is well this morning?

Surprise - I hope everythng goes well at your appointment and you get some reassurance.

Trista - I have nosebleeds all the time. It was the same with DD. They are nothing to worry about. How are you today?
That was an amazing birth clip. Not sure I could get those acoustics in my house though.

Springy - I found out when I was frst married that DH had been lying to me about some old debts of his. I pretty much read him the riot act and explained that there was nothng in the world that would make me walk away from our marriage, nothing. EXCEPT if I ever found out for any reason, no matter how big or small, that he had lied to me again. I meant it too. We then had a truth amnesty. Do you think that approach would work?

oh goodness been trying to be normal and then puzzle last paragraphs made me cry again. I promise I will share with you lot soon but for now can you all carry on being the mad bunch you are so I can read and laugh.

Springy - CheEky Tesco man. I had the same with a Sainsburys delvery when I lived in a flat. To be fair there were 6 cases of Grolsch amongst the shopping. It was Christmas and we had a lot of guests, before anyone thinks I need AA.
Off to read your AIBU.

Ju - When I was pregnant with DD, the HV didn't look at my windows. She studied my bookcase very carefully though and from that I think she deduced that I was ok.

Morning all.
DS had two bad dreams last night, one where he called out for me not to throw his mouse (his comfort toy) in the bin, and another about a gorilla trying to eat him, which he avoided by shutting the door on the beast's nose! Think he is absorbing tension...
Am feeling guilty about being so wobbly yesterday, as now DH is worrying about me and feeling he needs to be reassuring, which is not quite what's needed.

Springy, Puzzle's idea is a good one, though I don't know your DH well enough to say how successful it'd be. The puppy codeword plan is too sophisticated for my currently addled brain, I fear!!

Swaliswan, DH also thought I was on holiday when I started ML, but he has since noticed that I am still working in the evenings till silly o'clock so he has revised that idea. He also insisted at the weekend that I shouldn't do any cleaning in my condition (though TBH I am having no physical side effects other than general cumbersome-ness) and that he'd do it all. Maybe you need to sit down and talk things through with him before the baby arrives, so you can work out a way of managing things together? Easier said than done, I know. Is there any way you can wangle it so he has your DD for a whole day all by himself, so he can see what it's like?

Hope everyone feels better today than yesterday and that you all have a good day. I weighed myself yesterday and have returned to my resolutions to replace biscuits with carrot sticks!

DS now sleeping in after his disturbed night, so I am going to get on with translating that website now. Any extra centimes will help...

Kitty - Hooray for your homebirth. Not sure about balloons on the door though. You could end up with lots of excited 8 yr olds on your doorstep looking for a party.

Lulu - I had the same issues with security at C&W.

Schulte - How is DD today?

Puzzle - even if they aren't pregnancy related in a few weeks you will be able to take nurofen. This seems to transform my DH from death to living in a matter of minutes (where paracetamol BADLY fails!)

I think one of the problems with HB is the midwife you get. So far I have met four during my pg and to be honest only one would I trust with my health and that of the little one without an obstetrician in the next room.

In terms of annoying obsessive twats on threads I have always found the best approach is when they start trying to be offensive to respond with PMSL or LOL and rattle off like you haven't noticed. They don't know how to respond to that and it usually shuts them up IME.

I've been eating chocolate already this morning

Nutty - Good luck with the midwife today.

Bronze - Sorry. . I hope you are ok?

Auld - Good luck with the carrots, you're a better woman than me!

Morning All.

I'm about to go for a bath but I couldn't go until I came and told you all what happened with DH last night. So, after having a huge moan about him and getting it all off of my chest, I start wondering why he isn't home at 11pm when he normally gets in just after 10pm on a tuesday I even started wondering if somehow he had managed to get onto MN and start reading my rambling posts! Anyway, at about 11:05 I'm in bed tossing and turning and he comes in. I decide that I am going to try the sex bribery thing one more time and I thought that it might help me get to sleep (AFTER the sex, not during, I hasten to add ). So, I stumble through to the kitchen in my sleepy state and there he is surrounded by Tesco bags. He'd gone to Tesco after work because he didn't want me to be stressing about having to shop today and certainly didn't want me trying to carry the shopping home.

Now I feel really guilty about coming on here and slagging him off. It has reminded me that although he may not do the laundry until the basket is overflowing and he won't even notice that the kitchen/bathroom needs cleaning, he will manage to keep us ticking over until I'm more able to get on with the housework again after baby is born.

Boff, thanks for linking to the PND questionnaire. It was quite scary reading it and remembering filling it out last time. I'm quite scared about having a newborn if I'm going to feel like that again. I'm even a bit scared that I won't have a very good birth this time because I know what is coming with all of the newborn stuff. Last time I was smiling through my contractions and saying "I'm going to be a mummy" in time with my breathing because I was so excited. I hate to think how I'm going to feel this time.

Electra, FWIW I think that you stand every chance of getting the HB you want. They don't seem to have any clear reason for not letting you and, at the end of the day, they won't refuse you one. My MIL is a midwife who only attends home births. She says that there are women who have a HB even though they don't fit the criteria for one because all they have to say is that they won't go into hospital when the time comes and it is considered less risky to send a midwife for a HB than refuse one. Stick to your guns. You are being sensible in how you are managing your mental health problems so that must count for something?

Aah Nurofen. Bliss.

Right i'm off out now. Shall have to read the aibu furore when i'm back.

Where is this thread?

Swaliswan, what a lovely story .

My DH is brilliant but even he lacks 'initiative' when it comes to housework - he does anything willingly but only when told. It makes me feel like a right nag unfortunately.

OK ladies I have a very silly question (that I was too embarrassed to ask in my antenatal class) what does one wear in a birthing pool? It will obviously be difficult to give birth in a swimming costume.

Morning all!

Brettgirl - in all the videos I've seen the birth pool ladies have been starkers. I'm not too sure about this myself, but I'm sure I've seen the odd picture of a women in the pool in a t-shirt. I'm more in favour of this, as it gives you just a bit of coverage, though I can imagine me flinging it off in a fit of dsicomfort half-way through, when I no longer care about nakedness!

Or even woman and discomfort.

Well possibly, but I can't quite imagine walking to the birthing pool in the altogether

I'm still winding people up about windows. Apparently UPVC will make your house fall down because the house can't breathe. I just posted and suggested opening them so I'll wait to see what the response is