Actually, there's no defence for my dog penis knowledge. I genuinely did read an entire article on how to have sex with a dog, written by a very strange woman with a vast knowledge of the subject.
The only things that I can say to vaguely redeem myself is that I wasn't reading for personal use, but entertainment, & I was reading it (shocked & giggling) with a friend in a GCSE maths lesson instead of doing quadratic equations or something equally dull (sorry mathsmummy ).