Due May 2009 - Childbirth is getting closer and it's giving us the (blue) willies!!

[SpangleMaker]

In honour of llareggub's DS's painting experiments........

dive if I can read between the lines at all, a woman who irons her husbands t shirts (I'm sorry, I still can't get over that) deserves some appreciation and not to have it taken for granted that she carries out these things with the minimum of effort. Its sad that we still live in times where the job of housekeeping and child rearing is so belittled. I would like a wife like you and my fiance probably would too.

I had a question for belgian but I can't remember what it was.

pula brill, i'm more convinced now and off to do some research!!

dandy all good at your end hun? I mailed you ages ago as I was mid rant about something but don't worry as I'm well over it now and have devised a coping strategy....ie don't take the bait Yvette and just chill!!

I was writing a post and then the phone rang and in the mean time there have been loads of other posts, so I'll have to start again I think.

dandy I didn't mean it as an excuse for men, nor did I say that they're not capable of doing things in the house without being told. It's just that this is a society where despite everyone agreeing it is not the right way, women are raised to be more nurturing then men. I think it's slightly less the case now than in the past (thinking of how my 28 year old brother compares to my 44 year old DH). Still in most households it is the case that the woman is the carer. It doesn't mean that I let my dh get away with not doing anything in the house. He cooks, looks after the dc, feeds the cat, irons, etc... all without me telling him what to do if necessary, but if I'm around for some reason he's always asking me for 'advice' e.g. tonight he wanted to know what he needed to cook for dinner, even though he's accepted the grocery delivery today and knows better what was in it than me, who had ordered it 3 days ago.

divedaisy Ah, OK I see why it was behind then, sorry. I think I got confused a bit, because the list had been copied twice today and so I assumed it was because someone had updated the dates as well as someone adding their names. I'll leave the list alone now and I promis to do it for you next week when I'm enjoying being a SAHM for a good few months

Ahhh Fi what a FAB idea but I can't remember who it is either. I knwo Momi is American but lives here but I recall someone going back out there....

Yeah men - can't live with em but can't shoot em either

but they fill prams.....

hi all.
I think it's MrsEvs who's in the US (?)...

Polony

Your profile picture - you're a total glamour-puss twiglet of gorgeousness.

Evening all, just catching up, will post proper-like when I caught up!!

speaking of men, my DH is taking out the rubbish right now as I am totally useless with lifting anything. I think he's just realised if he doesn't do it, our house will be filled with rubbish (it was a good ploy of mine ).

my dh does his own ironing as he's so fussy.. he can cook basic stuff but i quickly get bored of his same few pasta/noodle dishes so as i'm at home i do the cooking. he does fix things around our flat but needs a few reminders

My dh was a single man at home for at least 5 years before I came along, so he knows how to look after himself. He can cook OK, but my own cooking is better. I think it's not practice but talent though . I come from a family where my dad did all the cooking, equal share of childcare, equal share of general housework, though my mum did all the ironing, so I did not actually grown up with the traditional man/woman divide in the household (though my mum did most of the cleaning) and so I'm expecting my dh to do his fair share, which he does in his own fashion, but a lot of my friends have quite a traditional set up and a lot of the women I meet at work.

Oh and of my 2dcs it's my ds who's the caring one. One of his favourite things it vacuuming! So that's him taking a job of my hands too! I'm always saying that he'd make a good nurse.

Funnily enough that steriotype holds true for my dcs, but I don't think its a sex thing, but more a personality thing IYKWIM. DD is the fiercly independent one who would rather struggle than admit she cant do something. My ds just avoids things he can't do. Quite a few mums at the school gate talk about how they put their ds's uniform/clothes ready for them in the morning and that they're unable to find their own clothes in their own wardrobes. If I tell them that my ds can fetch his own clothes in the morning they're all very surprised and sort of admire him for being able to do it, but like you said, dandy, if they've always done those things for their ds's, they'll never learn how to do it themselves and I fear they're another generation of 'helpless' men in making.

I meant stereotype.

My Dd is fiercely independent at 15 months but then I think she is just a darling little madam, who is going to be a real handful very very soon!!!

I think i am very lucky with my DH as he loves to cook, does his own ironing, condenses his hours into 4 longer days so he can have a day a week with the kids and is a hands-on dad, cleans, tidies, is houseproud... in his family, his dad does a lot of cooking and jobs around the house so guess he thinks its normal.

In my family, my mum/dad have very traditional roles and i resented the fact that me/my sister had to do things when my brother was treated as the son and heir and was waited on hand and foot. My dad is deliberately bad at cooking/cleaning so he doesn't get asked to do it, which i'm sure a lot of men use as a tactic, but if they are allowed to get away with it, then I'm not surprised they do it.

i'm teaching ds to do things for himself... i think it's really important for him to learn as I don't want him growing up expecting mummy to do everything for him. My mum brought me up to be independent (even though she did everything at home except mowing the grass and had a full time job like my dad) and I plan to do the same for my kids

I'm going to do the VBAC natal hypnotherapy... I managed to win the cd's on ebay today and now can't wait for them to arrive hoping starting them now isn't too late and will be of some help for may!!!

Detsy did you know we both have 15 month old DDs and are due on 8th of may. Snap double snap!

I've just added some very cute photos of DS to facebook. He is armed with his special cleaning spray (water) and his cleaning cloth and he is cleaning his bedroom. I am starting him young! He loads and unloads the dishwasher, the washing machine and sweeps the floor for us. He has started to help me prepare food too, although this is more like messy play than anything constructive as he is only 2.4.

I am doing this because my grandmother raised three utterly useless sons. Even when they were grandparents themselves, and she was in her early 90s, she would cook them a meal, and then stand over them while they ate so that she could replenish their plates, fetch water and generally act as their slave. My mother told me that when she first married my father he was shocked because she refused to cook him breakfast every morning. She strongly advised living with a man before committing to marriage! My father reverted to type and is now married to a woman just like my grandmother. She seems happy enough cooking for him and ironing for him, but this isn't for me. I want my DS to see household chores as something that everyone has to do, not just "helping mummy."

That said I do iron DH's shirts, simply because generally he is the one who does all of the cooking. He also runs a business as well as working full-time, so a couple of evenings ironing suits me well in return!

Does anyone know when things may start getting better for me ? ?
I'm starting to get really down now.
You know how they say things come in 3s, well Im up to No.4 of shit and have had enough!
1.Got diagnosed with PGP and am in agony,
2.Got made redundant,
3.My nan had a mild stroke and seizure yesterday and is in hospital (am v.close to her as she has bought me up since I was 9.)
4.Our landlord has decided not to help us at all regarding our rent for a while since I've been made redundant, so looks like I'm going to be looking for somewhere to live at 9months gone!
I really dont know how much more I can cope with.
Im scared that we're going to be homeless and pennyless
Someone make me feel better!

llareggub,

My DS loves to load the washing machine for me and is great at tidying up (he's only 19 mo). However, i'm sure my DD was like this at this age, and is terrible now. When asked to help tidy up she is suddenly "too tired" although if pushed, she will do it (so we need to push more- bit like men, eh?)

Llagrub, I had ds 19months and dd 3 both helping load the dishwasher tonight.