December 08 - a few babies under the tree still need unwrapping!

[EffiePerine]

New thread ladies. I have a feeling I will be talking to myself a lot

quick question: dd is 11 days old. we haven't bathed her yet - cord stump is still there. are we the worst parents in the world? we have no idea where to start when it comes to bathing.

we are going to try a sponge bath and olive oil her to get rid of some of her flakiness - any tips?

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Bathing tip, if you have one of those baby bath thermometers don't necessarily go by what it says. DD likes it a bit warmer than what it calls 'ideal temperature', maybe because she's a winter baby! The first few times she screamed blue murder, but if I do it a bit warmer she will happily stay in for ages. I also bought a bath support from Mothercare, which makes things alot easier, and therefore alot less fraught for me! here

WG and Cat DD is 17 days and has had two showers only. We also showered DD1 as a newborn. Basically one of us sits in the bath and holds DD2. The other uses the shower head (which is above our bath) to squirt water on DD2 and wash each body part in turn. We don't use any soap as it is harsh on their skin, instead we use aquaeous cream. It takes less than 2 mins and both DDs have seemed to like the sensation. Once we are done the parent who is not in teh bath takes DD2 and dries her and we rub oil all over her while sort of massaging her.

Hope that helps!

chutney!!! I've missed you! Welcome back! If it helps at all, I'm fat and will be 39 this year so we can keep each other company. Would love to meet up - just need to arrange somewhere do-able (and work it round the elusive but oh-so-precious nap times...)

jj did you get any good tips from the BF drop-in re wind?

wg I second the advice for your DH to talk to his GP. He sounds like he's getting very depressed.

On the subject of baths - I do cotton wool topping and tailing for DD2 and also wash(rinse) her hair once a week. Both my DDs have VERY dry skin - so I also use olive oil quite regularly on DD2's legs and arms. DD1 gets a bath every night but no soap of any kind except a tiny dab of shampoo once a week for hair washing.

simmo thanks for the hugs - sounds like you need some right back. "you know what you signed up for" indeed . These bl**dy men don't know they're born!!! Makes me SO mad. I guess we all have to remember that women are the stronger sex by FAR and take some comfort in that... and also the fact that a lot of us are sharing very similar frustrations at the moment.

Have just got DD2 down in her moses basket upstairs after about two hours of trying... but am paranoid that someone will wake her up... . Also got that gnawing dread feeling again for the night ahead. The joys!

DD2 awake. That lasted a long time

How weird, I gave Lachie a bath tonight, TBH I just popped him in with his big brother let him swoosh about a bit then out again. We have a bath support so that makes it a bit easier and I second the slightly warmer water than you think.

Simmo I too have noticed a change in DS1, he is definitely more tantrummy and in the last couple of days when he is told no he has taken to banging his head on the floor. I am trying to as much as poss ignore the bad behaviour and try to spend a little time with him every day without the baby being strapped to my boobs.

KMP DS1 had a random weird crease at the top of his bumcheeks I remember my niece had it too, but it has gone away as they have grown.

Cranial Osteopathy I think is fab DS had a long traumatic labour and he was vvv screamy for the first few wks we took him to the place that Verso mentioned but had a totally different exp to her we just gave them £20 the first time then depending on how much spare cash we had depended on how much we gave on our subsequent visits. It defo made a diff to DS1 and I would visit again with DS2 if I thought he needed it. I also had a bit of cranial when I went overdue and I would say it made my whole body feel more comfortable.

We survived the first day wothout DP even managing to take the hound for a walk too although it did take me 45mins to get ready to get out the house. Mums & tots tom have to be out the house by 9 never gonna happen.

katie I totally agree with your post about the different opinions. I almost did a post at the weekend but wasn't sure where to post it, about how until you have a baby, you usually have the courage of your convictions, or at least know where to find good, reliable, empirical evidence or fact-based research to make most decisions. It drives me DEMENTED that so much hearsay, opinion, gossip and anecdote is dressed up as "you should" "you must" "you ought" when it comes to babies - and not only that, but that for every view there is an equally vehemently cited opposing view as well...

eg. don't introduce a dummy whatever you do, use a dummy to space out feeds, don't wake a sleeping baby, don't let your baby sleep after 3pm, dont use a bottle before six weeks, if you dont introduce a bottle before six weeks the baby wont tske it...

I was going to start a thread about this, asking people to post the links to any empirical scientific, fact-based research to support any of these bits of advice... but then decided i didnt dare

dd2 grizzl.ing on knee

back later

Katie as a paeds nurse I was taught that breastfed babies don't need burping and don't get wind but now as a mother I know it's a load of crap. Also my Bestfeeding book which is supposed to be a breastfeeding bible says they do get wind the only dif is they are usually easier to burp. I think unfortunately it's one of things they have little tummies and little bowels so it's gonna hurt if air goes there. I know there are ways to prevent it but as much as I try to get jordy to improve his latch I can still hear him gulping air. That was good the tips you got JJ your BF drop in lady must be good. We have one on a Thursday but it is run by the HV I got a bit bored of the other day and when I told her I was doing the helpers course she looked at me like I was the competition and I haven't even started a group yet.

Hi All,

Just to let you know that baby Amber was born on 1st at just after 1am (first baby girl in my local hospital of the year!) weighing in a 6lb 6oz [Grin] Went into labour on New Years eve (last day I posted) and was in the final stages when the fireworks were going off.

Baby is doing well and so am I. Right off to catch up and will post again soon. Hope everyone is well and hope we all have our pressies unwrapped now!!! xxx

missed a page and just saw jjs tips! not sure how i missed it - apols!!!

Oh and kmp you can do the citizenship passport etc from here to or at the australia house they have ticketing system so you go in take a ticket then wait. Just a tip they don't have a toilet but there are toilets just beyond the church accross the road. We luckily know loads of Australian nurses so never have a prob with the prof Australian you have known for 1 year or thing. But I know the British passport if you apply in Australia they let you use an australian person equivalent. If your desperate I could pretend I have known you for a year it's been nearly that long.

Congratulations Emmanbump Amber is a really lovely name.

Hey well done Emma and first of the year. That must be everyone surely which is wonderful as it means every little angel arrived safely I am so happy about that!!!

congratulations, emmanbump!!

emma - congratulations!

baths - I was taught to bath a baby by having water as warm as you would wash up in (so warmer than you might think). Then strip them off but wrap them in a towel and hold them rugby ball style under one arm and use the other to splash water on their head and face. Then dry their head and put them in the bath and splash the whole body for a minute or so. To hold them a good method is to put you arm behind them, ie your forearm supporting baby's neck, with your hand grasping the shoulder/ top of baby's arm. Don't know if you can picture that - I use my right arm behind phoebe's neck and head and my right hand on her right upper arm (with her body and legs out to the left). It feels very secure because you have a firm grip on the arm and they can't slip under.

just read that other thread on winding (linked on page 11 of this thread) - that Tiktok is quite militant isn't she?!!! I have to say that babies (including Phoebe) do seem to get a pallor around their lips when they have some wind to release...

Well am off to bed. Phoebe is asleep (albeit on her front - naughty mummy) so I should seize the opportunity - it'll be over all too soon!

Feeling very anxious about Lu's first day at school tomorrow - packed lunch made, all name labels sewn in, PE kit ready, book bag labelled, snack prepared, shoes polished, uniform hanging up ready...can't really be any more ready - just have to leave the house with all 3 of us dressed - and not be late - don't want to get told off on our first day!!!

night night - sending good sleep vibes to all the nocturnal babes ...

xxx

If you're putting your baby to sleep on their front, how do you do it, trace? Do you bend their knees up or lay them flat? I have to say it's seriously tempting. DD2 has cried herself into a complete lather - again

The rest of the night (I am totally jinxing myself here) she goes down fine into her moses basket - but this time of night is up down up down up down until she's totally overtired and exhausted (as am I!)

good luck for Lu's first day at school, btw - how grown up!

verso am sure you have tried this so do ignore or tell me to shut-up, but have you tried swaddling her.

yes I have, jam - but not every night. I should probably go back to it - thanks for the reminder!

I dont do it every night but when I do he does seem to sleep better.

My dh has just pointed out that the reason babies go bluey grey around their mouths is because of a lack of oxygen. The wind is filling the tummy which presumably means not so much room for 02 in the lungs. Still not sure if that refutes Tiktoks argument, and definitely not brave enough to post on the other thread, but it makes sense to me.

Hello everyone. I am drinking in all the winding tips, keep 'em coming, although LO has in the last week started doing really big unladylike burps, so I wonder whether it is just that her burping equipment has started to mature (I mean this quite seriously so for those of you having trouble, maybe it will pick up too - she didn't actually burp for weeks). She is six weeks tomorrow - unbelievable.

Arti and KMP, where were you to save me from my worst shopping excesses Westfield was ace and I think I will be a regular, so you won't escape so easily next time

The Baby Bjorn worked really well, taking her into London on the train, although my back flipping well hurts. I didn't buy the Baby Bjorn as I had heard not so good things about them, but someone gave me one last week so I thought I would give it a try. She loved it. I left the house at 09.45 and got in at 8pm! Mind you, some of that was being at the hospital and I had a good couple of hours lying down at my flat as well. So, 6 week check all ok and the consultant has given me the all clear to do certain exercise but not everything as my tummy muscles are still three fingers width apart (yuck). So basically, walking, swimming, treadmill and rowing are all ok. The key is to do exercise which is 'symmetrical' as that's the safest, if anyone who has had a c-section and reached 6 weeks is interested.

The other thing was nagging me about which contraception to use. I am stuck on this as everything is horrible. She recommended the Coil but I really don't fancy it. She didn't think the Pill was a great option at 36, given that I want another child, because it could mess up my ovulation for ages etc. That leaves condoms (DP is not a fan) and a Cap or whatever they are called. I may investigate the latter. I have asked this before but any tips anyone?

Congrats to Emmanbump for the arrival of Amber, hope you are all well. Is that everyone? I think it is - Bisou will know but she will have her hands full at the moment. And Trace, good luck for little Lucy tomorrow.

Don't hate me but LO slept from 11pm until 5am. She has never done this before and will probably not do it again for months (my consultant said as much) but it was a nice present for Mummy and Daddy. I felt quite human today, what with the sleep and the autonomy of going to London under my own steam (ok, apart from the lift to and from the station here - it's three miles away though).

Keep batting, everyone.

emma huge congrats on the arrival of your bump! what a fantastic way to arrive - I hope you'll tell her in the future that the fireworks are always for her

veggie - the bf drop-in is run by the council but the advisers are all NCT or from La Leche League.

trace big hugs to your big girl and good luck for the first day of school! How exciting.

verso you're so right, there are so many conflicting things said about parenting and surely the best is just to follow our instincts - if we get something wrong then so what, it's all a learning curve for the babies and for us. Nobody's going to die because we misunderstood a signal of hunger for a change my nappy please. I'm trying very hard to be relaxed about everything (though it's very hard at 3am with screaming dd... ) because whenever I've learned anything else in the past it's taken a while - you can't drive perfectly on your first lesson so why do we expect ourselves to be perfect mums a day after the baby's been born? Everyone does things diffeently and the proportion of people that grow up to be serial killers is so small ;) so most of us must be getting it right!

jam swaddling really helps dd if we catch her before she's stroppy, once she's very kicky it's a lot harder but if she's dozy it works really well. We've been putting her in a grobag to sleep but her hands get soooo cold not that it seems to bother her that much.

As far as sleeping on their fronts goes, I'm sure the fact that if you have them on your chest they snuggle in really closely with their knees raised up must mean it's ok at least while you're awake and unlikely to roll over (though that must be where the automatic mum safety reflex kicks in) - this is about bfing but has the same kind of positions:

biological nurturing

Verso I have been putting Jordy on his front to nap during the though it didn't work today it has been working other days. I just put him straight down and his legs usually end up underneath him or bent but out to the side like a frog. If I can I put his hands up beside his head then he can turn his head easily. Overnight if he is in his nest hammock thing or in bed with us he prefers being on his side. Plus I don't think he will go on his tummy in the hammock.

LT you are such a trooper you have so much energy. We are also thinking about the contraceptive thing. We are not intending to have anymore kids but at 36 I have never used anything but boys with condoms and maybe played it a bit close at other times. DH has never minded the condoms but we don't want any cheeky surprises now and he doesn't want to wear condoms until I hit menopause so we have to look a something else. I actually don't like the idea of the pill, can it still make you put on weight? Does anyone have an cap experience?

Hello Veggie,

Well, the Pill makers say it doesn't make you fat but it makes me fat. So I don't know, but seeing as I have got 3 stones to shift, more fat is not what I need. (If I get any fatter, contraception won't be an issue ) Seriously though, I don't want to mess around with my hormones even more, either.

The Cap - well, apparently, it can be, er, felt by the bloke. That puts me off, let alone him.

The Diaphragm - do they still do these? I think they are quite big. I am going to investigate, though.

I am tempted to just do Vatican Roulette because it's easier, but last time I went that route...I was pregnant within two months, so um...this is why I am concerned.

DD has gone slightly spotty, has a receding hairline and her scalp is starting to flake. She is still beautiful to me though so I think the Baby Goggles are still on.