December 08 - a few babies under the tree still need unwrapping!

[EffiePerine]

New thread ladies. I have a feeling I will be talking to myself a lot

wg trying to type in dark... dd2 on knee

sorry about rough night. overtiredness as well as wind? i know a lot of ppl swear by cranial ost but i thought was like mystical faith healing... will post tomor re my experience w dd1.

pretty rubbish nt here too. dd2 wouldnt settle in basket 5:30 feed onwards til 9:30pm dh took out in car as i was getting frazzled. she kept dropping off then waking. gave her to my mum to hold/sway while i did dd1 bath and she screamed and got infinitely worse woke 1am 2am 3am 5am at 2am was patting and shushing and she almost settled but dh snoring so took basket to spare room

shattered
but less angry - not being in same room as sleeping dh helps, can hear he's just got up for work. WTF??!! it's 5.30 am!!!! am so glad in different room

tomor = today obv. v v v tired

btw not sure we totally 'cleared the air' yesterday. he sent some nice messages but still hasn't promised to do any nights... [grits teeth]

Jam thanks for winding tips - after terrible early evening i was gearing up for a crap nights sleep, but during last feed about midnight before bed,I did frequent winding - seemed to come up easier at frequent intervals. Settled and slept until 0330-ish, then same again until 0600. Still using dentinox so hopefully that's helping too. Quick question -I keep asking dh but he says it's normal - ds bum crack has very small crease at top which looks like it extends it a bit? have looked online and can only find some common dimple thing some newborns have, but his is more a shallow 'crease' and not like the pics of this dimple thing Not noticed it b4 now, but dh keeps saying it's normal and paed didn't say anything after all first checks and i remember they were rather thorough when checking him. I'm not too worried as dh says all newborns have little crease there initially, but i'm not too familiar with newborns! just paranoid i'm sure?.... hope some of you have had more sleep last night?

Morning, another one with a rubbish night! Ds2 kept waking up hourly for some reason. He'd settle quite quickly being held & with a dummy, I'd just get back to sleep & he'd be awake again! I know its too much to expect them to sleep through now but a good stretch would be nice!

jam thanks for the winding tips.

verso does dh think that by sending you nice messages etc it means the problem's all blown over? It'd be something my dh would do!

effie hope the jaundice clears up soon, am sure it will if he's feeding lots

Dh also back at work today but tbh I'm quite looking forward to it. Apart from the odd day, he's been off work for 3 weeks now & I'm just keen to start getting into some kind of routine.

Exactly, rosmerta!! I am sure he thinks all done and dusted while I'm still left frazzled by the exchange. Hey ho. Have to say decamping to another room last night really helped with my "Rage" . Sorry you had a rubbish night too.

A Mummy friend of mine was saying the other day she wishes there was some kind of sheltered accomodation for the six week postnatal period, so that new mums could all live together and support one another... especially at those 3am feeding sessions. I think it's a genius idea and should be available on the NHS.

Woke up to snow! Don't think I'll be going out in it though but it's nice to look at.

Tried to book my six week postnatal check for this week this morning and got a very snotty receptionist who said they could 'just' fit me in next week (ie seven weeks). Given that they don't let you book regular Dr appointments more than a week in advance I fail to see how I was supposed to know to book this weeks ago. Also v glad I haven't waited for the official all-clear before driving!

Not sure who suggested iTunes for music but I was very "Doh!" when I saw the post - very sensible!! No idea why I didn't think of it. Oh yes... that will be the sleep deprivation then!

Hope everyone has better days than we've had nights!

Morning,

WG and Verso sorry you have had bad nights.

It wasn't too good here either. DS2 went to sleep at half 12 then woke up at 4 and wouldn't go back to sleep in his basket. He was finishing feeding, falling asleep and as soon as I put him down he woke up so I'd feed him again. So it just repeated itself until half 5.
DH and I had a row at about 5 which I feel pretty crap about. It was because he was asleep and I was annoyed that he manages to just ignore it. Also my bedside light broke so I have to either wake DH or do it all in the dark. It can be quite hard to do sometimes.

I hope everything gets better for all of us.

was it a full moon last night or something?!! Did anyone actually have a good night? I seemed to spend the whole night either feeding or standing over the cot trying to settle dd2. Feel like I've had no sleep, although I know I got a little. DH got up with DD1 at 6.45 today, then when I came down at 7am with DD2, he went back to bed and is still there now! I too alternate between madly in love and grateful for all his help, and then intensely irritated that he claims to be so tired, and also that he seems to need prompting to do things like nappy changes, picking her up if she's squawking and I'm tied up...
WG - I know what you mean about winding when they're drunk on milk! When Phoebe falls asleep feeding it wakes her up to wind her and then I kick myself! But if I don't she wakes herself up with a puke anyway! Also, I change her nappy most feeds but that also gets her very awake, but if I leave it she's bound to be lying in a poo within a minute of putting her down!
AM starting to feeling very nervous about tomorrow - Lucy's first day of school - my first attempt to get us all up and out on time! Note to self - sew in name labels on uniform today!

oh and my positive thought for the day... Phoebe did lots of windy smiles which were very fleeting and clearly wind, but it gives a little glimpse of what her beautiful smile will be like when it finally appears!
I keep reminding myself that with dd1, because she was so prem, her first smile came at 3 months, so this one is coming really really soon!

HV is coming at 11 - my aim is to be out of my pyjamas and have cleaned my teeth by then! DD1 is in the bath and dd2 is stuck to me...

yup - we had a similar night. got two hours sleep in the end when i brought her down to MiL who kindly took her til 7.30. Off to hospital to get her weighed.

Verso - that would be great - i would love to be with other mums during the dark hours of the night! i find 3-5 the worst time! Also I have a baby sleep CD that is also soporific (if that isn't cruel!) for us adults. If you wanted I would lend it to you - its lovely and may help DD2 sleep.

Awww - Trace - your little girl off to school! How exciting!

trace, turnip, kayzr, ros - not sure if it was full moon, but i think it might have beenhalf moon and it was very bright. who knows? somehow i don't feel too bad for one who slept for not very much last night.

i'm trying out my fabric sling and she is loving it - out for the count. bloody hell! she is, though, slightly wheezing - we noticed this during the height of her screaming last night, but thought it was because of tired vocal folds/lungs - but it seems to have stuck. should i go to the doctor? any advice?

still interested in people's experience of cranial osteopathy if anyone has some.

Sorry for bad nights...I got woken up at 3 by DD projectile vomiting on my face in her sleep (she's still in with us). Nice. She then managed to sleep through my voluble complaining.

Arti wouldn't claim to know definitively whether anything is particularly dangerous or not - there is a risk in co-sleeping if you are really tired or slightly drunk or on medication - i.e. if there's a particular reason why you would be so asleep that you wouldn't wake up if your LO was distressed. But in general if it feels comfortable and you're close think there's no problem - IME they sleep so much better next to you at this stage. And yes rod/back/yadda yadda but it's rubbish that you have to get them into a cot this early or they never will. Was paranoid about this last time and didn't make any difference (DS has always been and as far as I can tell will always be a bugger to get to settle) whereas DD will quite happily drop off in her cradle or chair during the day.

In case any of you are as disorganised/optimistic about being able to cope without one as I was mothercare are doing 20% discount on phil and teds at the moment - and you get an extra 10% off with code af8.

wg I'm a big fan of cranial osteopathy - think it's definitely worth a try. But it will only fix problem if that's what it is (if that makes any sense). So it can be complete miracle if that's the thing that's pissing your LO off - but make not a blind bit of difference if it's something else. And helpfully you can't tell in advance.

Effie hope the jaundice goes soon. I didn't listen to midwife's good advice about giving DD as much daylight as I could so when we were in hospital whole thing was compounded because jaundice not cleared. I sat in front of window all day and it really helped.

Lady T am v impressed that you went dancing. Am with you on the arm wobble (wtf - how does pregnancy give you wobbly arms?). Also caught myself in mirror dancing with DS the other day and realised was doing shocking mum dance. So lesson is to keep going out and dancing in real life or find yourself confined to living room moves. Sigh.

Turnip hope hospital happy with weight. And Trace hope Lucy's first day goes well. Wow - big step.

My experience of cranial osteopathy is that we had high hopes - and it didn't make any difference. DD1 was failed ventouse and forceps, and had huge bruises and scratches on her head and quite a twisted neck - she was also VERY unsettled - so we thought she was the perfect candidate. We went to the centre near Farringdon in London - so a big, reputable place. DH was very sceptical but by this point I was DESPERATE for some sleep so went along with it because SO MANY people told me it would be helpful.

My hackles were raised when they said within minutes of us arriving that she would need several treatments. Although it's a charity, they recommend a donation of £35 per time - and it was going to get very expensive very quickly. Also they 'did' me and their helpful advice as I was lying there was (a) have you had a hysterectomy? your reproductive system appears to have suffered a trauma and shut down and (b) after I'd told them I was BF they said I HAD to get at LEAST two full nights of sleep a week because my "system" was "completely exhausted". Er. Hello? really? How exactly am I supposed to do that and keep my supply up? Also (c) they said the "treatment" for DD1 "might make her more unsettled" OR "might make her less unsettled" .

I'm afraid I think it was a complete scam, to be honest. I know a LOT of people believe they have benefited from it - but in my experience it was completely unhelpful and a waste of money. DD1 became "more settled" in her own sweet time - by growing!

FWIW I think normal osteopathy really works - I can see logically how it might - but cranial osteopathy doesn't make any empirical sense to me...

PS not meaning to offend anyone with my (somewhat forceful) views of C.O., but I was sooooo disappointed and would at that point have done ANYTHING for even three hours of sleep in a row!

verso - thanks for being so honest. important to go into something with both sides represented.

dd kicked off around 10.30 last night. she only settled into any kind of lasting sleep (had a couple of 20 min naps but startled herself out of it and straight into a frenzy) at 5am. dh and i took it in hourly turns to look after her. i settled down with her on the sofa (isn't that a complete no no according to SIDS?) with her. then ventured upstairs at 6am, she grizzled, and then woke at 8.30 for feeding. she began to kick off, despite appearing milk drunk, so i took her downstairs, fed, changed nappy, put her in the sling and off she went to sleep. happiest sleep i've seen her have in over 2 days. had her in sling for 1.5 hours, then put her back in her moses basket in the hope she will stay asleep until next feed time (12ish, i suppose). she is grizzling, but if necessary i'll sling her again.

am i doing the right thing? i just don't know. i want someone to be here to hold my hand and say, yes, that's good, or no, try this first. i just don't know.

just popped in on dh who is still sleeping (if he doesn't get his sleep, he heads scarily towards depression), and he hung his head and told me how scared he is of our baby. it breaks my heart. told him to get more sleep (some maternal hormones have kicked in meaning i seem to be able to cope with v little sleep) and came back downstairs.

i'm sorry to be so me me me.

Happy new year to you all! This is the first time in over a week I've managed to get online (due to Virgin Media rather than pressure of time, baby, etc) and I am SO thrilled. I have missed you all so much and wanted to send everyone lots of love and best wishes for 2009.

Are we all now with babies? Congratulations to Bisou, WG, SL, Turnip, Effie and March on your babies - and to anyone I've missed (it's been a very quick read!)

We have had the guests from hell over NYE. Not so much as lifted a tea cloth. Dh's parents, so I can't slag them off to him but by god I've made free about them to everyone else! I may have to vent my spleen again later.

Sympathies to all those with useless partners. My DH moans about being tired etc when he wakes for about 10 minutes over night. I could go on but I'll get bitter, and that would be SO ageing (and as I'm 40 this year I can't afford yet more wrinkles!), and ageing and fat is not good. Off to the WW website in a minute to find my local fat fighters class (oh, the shame! Dust anyone?)

I should be back online with my lovely new ISP next week but will try to look in before then. Lots of love to you all. BTW, if anyone fancies meeting up, I can easily get to Clapham / Wandsworth / Dulwich / Wimbledon or even down to Ikea or somewhere more far flung. I have different combinations of children on different days but would be able to fit in most things if I have a bit of notice.

Take care and love to all XXXX

morning all... sorry to hear more dodgy nights, dd managed midnight until three then four until six - though it took us 2 hours to get her to settle in the first place. I don't think we've had a whole evening meal sat down together once since she arrived.

thanks jam for the winding info - we've had dd on infacol since friday but the only difference we've noticed is that instead of wind coming out the top an hour later, it gives her horrid gut pains and screaming some indeterminate time later in the day. then she cries herself out of wind back into hungry and is too panicy and upset to latch on prpertly, and so more wind...

off to a bf drop-in this afternoon (hoipefully!!!) so will see if they can offer any more tips. i've tried cycling legs eytc thouigh it's very hard when she's kicking and arching her back with pain

verso dh being a gp is immensely sceptical about cranial ostepopathy except in the case of babies, because their skulls haven't yet set solid so you might be able to manipulate thiungs a bit. sounds like you did hit on some dodgy dealers though.

i love the idea of a big newborn baby commune where everyone helps each other out - didn't that used to be called society...?

she's fallen asleep so will attempt to grab a quick shower - hugs to all!

have just uploaded some more photos

and awake again and hungry... wg so sorry you're having such a rough time. are there any drop-in new parent sessions near you? or is your health visitor any good?

shes gorgeous waitinggirl

further to this that i posted earlier Quick question -I keep asking dh but he says it's normal - ds bum crack has very small crease at top which looks like it extends it a bit? have looked online and can only find some common dimple thing some newborns have, but his is more a shallow 'crease' and not like the pics of this dimple thing Not noticed it b4 now, but dh keeps saying it's normal and paed didn't say anything after all first checks and i remember they were rather thorough when checking him. I'm not too worried as dh says all newborns have little crease there initially, but i'm not too familiar with newborns! just paranoid i'm sure? i just looked over discharge notes and all his checks are marked normal... i found a photo of some babies bum online with a different thing (mongolian spot) but noticed that it's bum had a similar crevice which i'm talking about, although they aren't referencing this as this photo was to illustrate the patch so i'm assuming this crevice part is normal? his kind of looks like that (actually not even nearly as noticable as this babies) but without the blue mongolian patch! anyone know what i mean? sorry never see newborn babies until now!
www.myhealth.gov.my/myhealth/eng/${public}/story_images/child/P1T5_mongolian_blue_spot.jpg

crap link doesn't work.... will try again

www.myhealth.gov.my/myhealth/eng/${public}/story_images/child/P1T5_mongolian_blue_spot.jpg

www.myhealth.gov.my/myhealth/eng/kanak_content.jsp?lang=kanak&storymaster=0&storyid=1130124781684&su bstoryid=1130728039781

hope i'm making sense - he doesn't have the spot thing at all - just the little crease which looks like his bum crack goes a bit higher - but it actually doesn't - not as pronounced as in this babies one, but similar in that triangle type shape? dh said normal and has seen it in loads of newborns but he's not in paed's! his check was all normal on discharge but didn't notice it myself then.... i'm sure i'm all worked up over nothing but just thought i'd ask you all!