Due May 2009 - our bellies are getting as big as Santa's

[FiKelly]

It'll be an alternative merry Christmas for us this year ;)

Moonlit - My cousin had her first baby in the States and they monitor your every fart over their. Having said my cousin monitors her dd's every blink

DelightedOB - I've only had home births. The first went swimmingly and the second less so. Like Momino said, we'd forgotten everything even though it was only 18 months before. This time I've got the Natal Hypnotherapy CDs which I'm finding great. WRT mess, it's not that messy and the midwives clean it all up anyway. You get the complete undivided attention of a midwife - albeit unobtrusively. It's your own germs you're exposed to, you can eat what you want when you want (within reason)and you don't have to put up with anybody else's crying baby in the night. Your own children are the problem. I'm going to enlist our parents to help. DD to Mil DS to mum.

Momino - this baby is a boy and he moves A LOT. Wakes me up in the night kicking me (and I'm only 22 wks!). I'd say he moves more than my girls did (particularly DD1 who was, and still is the most laidback person ever!) Ended up in hosp with her with lack of movement - nothing wrong, she was just lazy!

Jennster - that's interesting, thanks for that info. I'm just scared I wouldn't be able to cope without much pain relief - I can't remember whether they give diamorphine at home or not? Or whether just gas and air...... Duh, where has my brain gone? I agree, my kids would be the problem I guess. If during the day fine as school or nursery but night time/breakfast time or tea time would be tricky......
OH God knows what I'll do. TBH giving birth just isn't an appealing option is it? I'd like a zip.

DOB you would have to check with your mw about what is available in your area. We don't get diamorph but do get pethidine. They only get the controlled drugs though if you give them enough notice and the second mw has to go and get it. Gas and Air is absolutely wonderful though. They told me I was using it very effectively when they had to go and collect the 2nd lot from the hospital. I was using it through a mouthpiece rather than a nasal doodah or mask. It forces you to breathe slowly and very deeply.

oh Jennster that would be fine then. Diamorph and pethidine are used in different hosps. I'd prob just send the 2nd m/w to get it as soon as she arrived! Just in case it was required.....which it prob would be as I've had it with the last two. I do like Tens machines too and gas and air, in fact anything they'll give me!

Oh i don't think I could do a home birth - too scared! Good luck to all of you who are actively choosing this!

jennster I'd love a home birth- I gave birth with no pain relief last time and had a terrible time at the hospital. They sent me home and told me I wasn't in labour, went home and was a back within the hour had Ruby 20 mins later. They made me feel like a stupid teenager that didn't know her own body! I was 25 and married!!!!

Anyway thats by the by I want a home birth this time but dh said no incase of problems. We only live 1 mile from the hospital but it is a shared service so even if I had our child at that hospital if there was anything wrong we would have to get an ambulance to a hospital 10 miles away or rely on the 20 min turn a round they have to get a doctor to us.

The hospital was really unclean, I won't go into the horror stories of the NHS I experienced when giving birth but aty the time I let a lot go it's only now that I am going to give birth again soon that I appreciate how disgusting the standards actually are...
So how do I convince dh???

good morning all.
re: movement; i guess it just depends on the baby how much it moves and prob not related to sex. So it could be either, couldn't it?

re: home birth, i'm not sure I could cope without pain relief which is why I want to go to hosp. last time, i really wanted an epidural but they made excuses why i couldn't so gave me the pool instead (not much of a pain relief but much better than sitting on a labour bed) and gas/air. so didn't have any medical pain relief but i wasn't relaxed and felt bad about myself afterwards that I couldn't cope with the pain. there's more to it including the rubbish aftercare but will leave details out - you don't need to worry about it. each birth is different, my care was so good for dd1s birth.

In any case, will really be pushy for epidural this time if i need it. One thing about the USA, my sister and friends who've had babies there seem to be given epidurals without any argument but it seems to be such a taboo here.... i wonder why? I know there are miniscule risks involved and some recovery time but there must be something said for a relaxed mother.

all best wishes for the home births, though. i hear they clean up really well including the bath - that's reason alone to have a home birth !

Morning all!

Momino I think the reason they try to dissuade mothers from having epidurals in the UK us actually a staffing issue. Once you've had one you need one-to-one monitoring from a midwife, none of this popping in every 4 hours to see how you're doing! So if the labour ward is busy they often simply don't have enough staff and have to try and decide who needs one most.

Hope you're all well. I have ANOTHER cold and am really bunged up. Apart from that, all is well.

Good luck to everyone who is still awaiting their scans!

you're right, Emmalina. i went into labour end of Aug, full moon (believe it or not, more babies born on full moon!), loads of mums in labour and mine was the only one not an emergency section. so i do understand they were needed elsewhere. that's why i need a Refresher course so that if i get left alone again with no epidural option, DH and I will know better how to cope, breathe, etc.

that aside, waiting 3 hours after giving birth for toast, 5 hours to be stitched up , 6 hours for bath, and 7 hours for a bed was uncalled for no matter how few staff they had. am i being unreasonable?

You're not being unreasonable at all. It sounds like you received appalling treatment. No wonder you are apprehensive this time. Did you complain last time? I only ask because my FIL is on the board of an NHS trust and he is always imploring people to complain in writing. All too often people assume that it's just one of those things and that complaining is a waste of time but they do take action (complaints regularly reach board level).

Sounds like a refresher course would be a good plan. Some hospitals in London offer 'birth rehearsals' based on yoga practice - do they have anything like that near you?

I'm having an elective c-section this time and one of the reasons I don't want a vbac is because I feel very nervous about the availability of pain relief and my own ability to cope!

Am still doing an NCT refresher course though but I expect them to be at my c-section choice.

I'm hopefully going for a home birth this time, I'd much prefer to be in my own environment than a hospital and I'm not too worried about pain relief (yet!). But it all depends on the results of a late scan as DD was undiagnosed breech. My midwife has agreed that if this one is breech then as long as I go to the hospital I'll be allowed to attempt a vaginal birth. I'm incredibly lucky (in some ways!) that because DD was spotted so late there wasn't really time for a c-section so have proved I can do it already, I guess it just depends on the confidence of the midwives as I get nearer the date. I'll certainly be fighting for it. And assumming that this LO is head down, then I'll stay at home, if I can. Not too worried about hospital transfer, we're in the same town. Am I being too blase about it? My mum seems to think so.

Jennster - your post made me
Trust me they won't want to monitor my f*s, they are lethal at the moment

Momino - You do get epidurals way easier than here, my SIL and friends all say the same too!

But I really do think, maternity care is better in the USA because our insurance companies are paying through the nose for the service.

The hospital i have selected, is like a five star hotel! I guess I will be able to give a better opinion in May, since I had my DD here.

We shall see!

I admire those of you going for a home birth. I have a very low pain threshold, so I wouldn't even consider it.

Ok I need some advice - On my scan on Monday we couldn't find out the gender of the baby because the legs were tightly shut. I have found a private scanning company that can tell me the gender for £79 and if they can't tell you can go back again for free.

My husband refuses to let me have a private scan, because he now wants it to be a surprise. BUT I want to know!!!! Shall I just have it done and not tell him?

Please vote

YES or NO

wish York hospital were like a 5 star hotel, can't wait to hear your experience.

Emmalina, unfortunately, I didn't complain. even when the MW visited me a few days later, i'd felt like it was all my fault that I had a bad experience and should give the understaffed MWs a break, and it was just my inability to cope, etc. then went into bad PND for a number of months before getting help so didn't write that letter.

i think writing would have helped - if it were a staffing issue, at least attention would have been brought. anyway, older/wiser they say. I intend to have a better birth this time (with no pain, of course!).

moonlit, yes if you can manage to keep it a secret from your DH. Don't know if I could!

Moonlit- YES (but only if you think you can keep it secret)!

moonlit - ooooh he'd be so hurt if he found out! Can you imagine, in the middle of an argument (or something) you saying "and anyway its a BOY"!! We have our scan next week and I really want to know - haven't convinced dp yet...! I don't think I can wait another 19 weeks!!!

oooh moonlit I don't know......I did this last time (found out without DH and didn't tell him or anyone) - but it was at a routine scan not one I was paying for so not sure if that makes a difference. I did it cos like your DH mine wanted a 'surprise'. But hell, I reckon it's still a surprise whatever gestation you find out!
I think I probably would do it, but you must make sure he NEVER finds out! DO NOT TELL A SOUL. (well, tell us though obviously )

Moonlit I would never do it on the sly - I'd probably tell him I was doing it whether he likes it or not!

I have pulled out all the baby stuff I have stored away - where have all the clothes gone??!!!! I was so sure there were boxes of boys clothes right up to age 3-4/4-5 yrs. I must have gone through them all and given away,cos all I've got now is some vests (up to age 2-3), some baby grows, and a few cardigans (newborne) and a few velour all in one outfits, 2 pram suits, loads of bibs and muslins and 3 pairs of newborn socks and scratch mits. I have bedding for mosese basket, crib and cot - BUT NO CLOTHES!!! Tragic - I'll just have to buy more! But I dont know which sex - and buying 'neutral' clothes is so horrid a feeling to me!

I went to my local pram store today to have a look at the Jane Slalom Pro with Strata car seat, and the iCandy apple system. I loved the Jane, but for the fact the buggy can't face me when the baby is slightly older. The iCandy apple can go forward or rear facing. Anybody got one of these systems?? I have a few more stores to visit to access more options. I have found so far that a lot of the prams I fancy fold flatish rather than the last one I had which concertina-folded. Buying a pram is very hard isn't it, especially when you can't test drive them for a weekend to see how you get on - a quick 30 minutes in a pram shop really isn't great - especially when you could end up spending £500+ on something that could make life easy, or just as easily make it hard.

Have to go and get DS ready for Beavers - if I can now only get him off Indiana Jones Lego adventures on Wii!!!

Hi All,
Just caught up

Moonlit I wouldn't do it, I could no way keep it a secret from my DH as I'm such a blabbermout but if you think you can go for it!

Re homebirth. No experience of it but I do know here in Cambridgeshire the Midwives DO NOT clean up afterwards, you are expected to do it yourself. Yes really!!

Re Movement: have had regular flutterings since 17 weeks but after scan I think it is because the babs is sitting really low down. This week it has graduated to proper movements and today he really didn't like me yelling at my awful year 11 class as he was kicking me in the nether regions the whole time!

Since the scan we've been back to our long list of names, its so hard finding stuff to go with our surname (one syllable, rhymes with turd!!) would appreciate thoughts ladies...

Huw
Owen
Howard (Howie)
Rhys
Dylan
Evan
Gwilym
Gwyn
Steffan

I posted a couple before, as you can see there is a welsh flavour!

Rubysmom - So you would have to do a 10 mile journey if something went wrong in the hospital anyway? I'd say the odds are stacked with you at home then where you have 2 midwives looking after you rather than on the maternity ward where you have to share them. If they weren't happy in the slightest with anything then you would be blue lighted to the hospital, and as I said before, you have 2 of them looking after you and would pick anything up immediately rather than when they popped in to see you.

runningmoneky I've got Aneirin and Osian on our list. DS's middle name is Iestyn, which is probably my favourite welsh name. I wish we'd kept it for this little one!

llaggerub I love all of yours! Dh doesn't like Aneirin unfortunately I might try osian and Iestyn tho if you don't mind