Due April 2009 - Saucy dreams, squirting boobs and spacehoppers. Whatever will the April mums get up to next?"

[PuzzleRocks]

i am making a similar deal with the hotdog (DS has dubbed baby that). But only because i don't want to have another BIG overdue baby again!

Welcome babyc! hope your not having too rough a time with the complications x do you know what flavour you are having or is it a suprise?

hi babyc - must be strange knowing exactly which day it will come - would be really nice in a lot of ways cause you wont have the hanging around wondering at every twinge.

nutty - i've heard quite a few saying seconds tend to be earlier than firsts (and easier), and i am hanging on to that. My mum is one of these sickening people you sometimes hear about - early with all three (but only by a few days) and a total of about 7 hours in labour with all three - she didnt even know she was having contractions with one of us - a few pushes and we were out.

Shame it doesnt seem to run in families. My sister ended up with an emergency cs, and had to have a second as she didnt go into labour naturally and they wouldnt let her be induced, and I was 6 days late so not too bad but 21 hours roughly from waters breaking to baby - 3 hours of which was pushing and that was not fun. But not so bad i didnt go back for more .

holly - fingers crossed our babys want to come out and say hi early, and with as little discomfort to their mummy's as possible :-)

LOL just got dd's stage school report (she goes on saturdays the opening scentence is
"I'm so pleased booboo is learning better about when it is appropriate for her to be centre of attention and when it is not."
eek i have raised a limelight hogging drama queen (due to the fact she has been an only child for 4+ years possibly?)

ok now i am slightly worried about her actual school report (do they get those at reception) at the end of term or is it end of school year?

Nutty: I don't know if 2nd babies come earlier, but labour is certainly supposed to be shorter. DS was born fast (first ever contraction at 5pm, birth at 1am), and the midwife suggested I live near a maternity ward if I was planning a second one. Sounds ominous...

Nutty, my first was 7 hours, 7lbs in weight, and 10 days early. Second was 4 hours, 8 lbs, and 5 days late. Third was 3 hours, 9lbs, and nearly 3 weeks late (mad idea to hang on with hindsight). I don't think you can really predict much really. If I have a ten pounder this time, I am making DH give birth to him

oh bum seems these pesky babies pretty much do what they want then, though i do feel comforted by the shorter labour

AuldAlliance - do you live by a mat ward currently??

Boffin -Lol at making dh give birth
can you imagine tis bad enough when they get "man-flu"

dont tell me that virginboffinmum - i have been counting on the earlier arrival.

i still feel odd having a baby in April - its not a month I would ever have thought I would have done - May yes, but not April. Lo will be the oldest in their school year and not that that really matters, but my brother sister and I are all October - January birthdays so younger in the year and I always assumed I would do the same.

I know its silly and irrational, but its taking me a long time to come round to an April birthday (but am sure it will be great when it happens). Dh thinks its just like the lambs coming in the spring.

hollytree - I don't know about school but I think an April baby will be fab - by the time we are ready to be out and about it will be the start of summer . I'm picturing lots of lovely days sitting in the garden, in the park or having picnics with friends. DS was born in August but by the time I felt really confident to go out it was starting to get cold and dark and I found the winter really long.

Helloooo. I am so tired today. Didn't get to sleep until gone 4. Eugh. No reason for it other than my mind just wouldn't switch off. I had to miss a thing a uni because I just couldn't drag myself out of bed early enough. Stupid pregnancy. Right, now to catch up.

Nutty, he'll have his pick of girls anyway. He's going to be gorgeous & considerate & very funny, don'tcha know?

brettgirl, I don't think that you're speaking out of turn at all - & it's not something that I'm oblivious of, to be honest (I think you might be right, but we're still doing okay, so we'll see). But in response to your points:

1. I don't have any friends here partly because I'm awkward anyway - I've always found it difficult to get on with my peers, because I've always found them to be immature / frivolous. I'm also 20, whereas most of them have just turned 18. It doesn't sound like a big difference, but I had over a year of drinking & going out (whilst earning quite a lot of money!) before I got here, so wouldn't be in awe of my shiny new ID that gets me into pubs & clubs even if I wasn't pregnant. Then there's the fact that I am pregnant, which means that I can't go out drinking or doing any physical activities with people, even if I wanted to. I've also been very sick & tired a lot of the time & haven't felt like joining a group. & just as I have no interest in their hangovers & one-night stands, they have no interest in the strange pregnant one. & finally, the structure of my course doesn't allow for making friends easily. It's difficult to explain concisely, but there are over 400 people & nobody is in fixed groups for anything - there's no way you can easily latch on to anyone. Oh, & most of them live together in halls of residence & knew each other before lectures even started, whereas I live in a flat with DP.

He's not stopping me from making friends at uni at all. He'd probably rather that I did so that I don't require so much of his attention because I'm socially starved. He has, however, tried to have a say in a couple of my non-uni friends, but you could argue that he's NBU, depending on how you look at it. I still talk to them whatever he says, so it doesn't really matter.

1. The punching walls, etc., is obviously a massive worry. Things like that are my biggest problem. He's never tried to hit me or even grab me or anything like that. But again there have been questionable things. For example, & this is something that I didn't think that I'd admit here but I suppose is relevant & I feel that I know most of you well enough to say it now - I knew DP as a friend for a long time before anything sexy or romantic happened between us. But a bit of flirtation built & when he was visiting me in Birmingham one weekend, we slept together & it was lovely. We had a really nice weekend. I then didn't see him for three weeks & didn't really think much of it - we'd been friends for a long time & I thought that it was meaningless sex to be honest, even though I found that I did have feelings for him. I, asides from anything else, assumed that he would see it only as sex. So, three weeks later, I had a very drunken one-night stand (my only one EVER, would you believe ) & saw DP the next day - when we decided that we'd give us a go. But I never told him about the one-night stand & he found out from someone else 2 weeks later. He views it as cheating. I can see it from both sides. To him, we were together - I didn't see it that way. But I didn't tell him, which obviously didn't help. I had to race up the country when he found out & beg for his forgiveness - as a friend, as much as anything else. That's when I found him 'slicing himself up'. He has since broken the other guy's nose (& got a police caution for it) which he blames me for as well, & still maintains that I deserved the same treatment. & apparently the only reason he was cutting himself was to stop himself from punching me. Which would have, apparently, been a perfectly reasonable reaction. Alarm bells should've been ringing then, eh? But I just thought that it was really extreme circumstances & I'd screwed him over & it wasn't fair to judge. But yes, apart from the belief that breaking my nose would have been okay, there's not really anything like that. But that sentence sounds completely ludicrous

1. When I was worried about the baby, what I meant was that I didn't think that we'd survive something awful happening. I'm not with him only because of the baby. I'm fighting harder than I would otherwise, but I know better than to stay here for that reason alone. The baby may well end up being the reason I have to leave. But I know that we wouldn't survive. Seeing as I'm doing confession time (I forgot that I get horribly honest when I'm really tired; how amusing), I had a very early miscarriage with my boyfriend of 4 years whom I've mentioned before. I was going to have to have an abortion anyway because I was 16 & his dad was a vicar. But I loved that potential baby so much in the couple of weeks that I knew about it & thought that I'd get a chance to prepare myself to say goodbye. I didn't & I was left not only with the lack of control, but the guilt of having made that decision. I couldn't even look at him for months. We had about a 10 month 'break' in the middle of our relationship (which involves even more stories that you wouldn't believe if I churned them out now ) because I just couldn't stand to be near him. But he is the most lovely, patient man I've ever met & we ended up getting back together for another year or so until I had to end things because it wasn't the great 'passion' of my life that I'd expected & he was starting uni & I didn't want to cramp his style if it wasn't going to work out anyway. He was so wonderful with me throughout the whole thing & it still broke us - I know there's no way that DP & I could survive losing this baby now. Not when we've both felt him kick & seen pictures of him & wanted him so much. It just wouldn't happen. That's nothing to do with the relationship as such.

This has all become way more epic than it was supposed to (how do I do it?! ), so I'm going to post this & carry on catching up in another post to break it up a bit.

the only reason i'm a bit dubious about the April thing is that dd is mid march

but its quite funny that all my family are in month order, jan - both my brothers, feb - me, March - dd, April -was my mum and now bump

new year is a very busy time lol

snowy - i know this already, i bet hes going to be adorable in every sense, hunny but i meant in the virtual mn world sense lol

i'm going to be a bit harsh here hunbun but "I know there's no way that DP & I could survive losing this baby now. Not when we've both felt him kick & seen pictures of him & wanted him so much. It just wouldn't happen. That's nothing to do with the relationship as such."

unfortunately that does sound an awful lot like it does have alot to do with the relationship.

let me ask you this, would you still be with your dp if he acted in the same manner and you weren't pregnant?

also on the one hand i accept (in a very strange way) that it is better for him to hurt himself rather than you but the fact that he did that is worrying in itself, the fact that he had to hurt something/someone.

unfortunately for me it rings huge alarm bells (i had a very abusive 4 year relationship which ended in me having to send my partner of the time to prison it got so bad, the first year of our relationship was good but there were warning signs that i frankly was too young/stupid to read) in my case this was a very extreme situation, but i am worried for you. I am glad that he is getting help though. Just stay safe though ok xxx

Snowy, I had an abusive partner in the dim and distant past, and it started with things like wall hitting, finally progressing to dragging me across my daughter's bedroom right in front of her, with my arm twisted behind my back and nearly breaking it, so I second Nutty, it rings massive alarm bells. (Police and legal system absofg useless, by the way. Full of fg men with their own f*g agendas).

With hindsight I would have left after the first temper tantrum he had. But in my defence it took me 4 years to save up enough money to escape.

just so you know i'm not tryibng to pick your relationship apart or anything honest. I trust that you know your own situation better than any of us, and that you have the good sense and judgement to do whats right for you and the baby xxx (((hugs))

These blokes are great at making you like them and then doing it all over again, whilst blaming you for their problems. The thing is, you end up believing it because you so badly want things to work.

snowy - sorry you are having a really difficult time. the english lit department was so ridiculously big when I was there too, making it difficult to make/keep friends. i felt a bit out of it all the time too - i'd taken a year out and had a BF at home (now DH). I found the second year easier because I could choose the options that interested me, and found that I kept bumping into the same people in seminars and got to know people that way. are you going straight into the second year next year or are you having some time out?

just wondering whether your DP could go to the uni counselling service - it used to be on northumberland rd (i think) and you could self refer for help with anything. i found them really helpful when I was going thru some family issues. Also, there was a university nursery in broomhall - could you try getting in touch with some other students mums through there?

heres to escape xx

I just saw how huge that post is & said a rather rude word. I really do apologise. At least it's packed with interesting revelations rather than just moaning for a change

AuldAlliance - thank God the baby was found okay. Imagine the terror! Although I feel a little bit sorry for the woman who took him - God knows what's happened to her to make her act in such a stupid way. I'm going to be so scared of letting my baby out of our sight in the hospital. I'm paranoid about baby swapping & all sorts.

OddEyes, I hope everything's well. It's good that they're checking it out instead of saying 'ah, it'll be okay' & not taking precautions. I'm sure it's relatively common & will be fine, though. Make sure you let us know how the scan goes.

Sarahmum, how rude! I can't believe anyone would say things like that to you. They can't even think that it's something you didn't know already, let alone would want to hear again. Honestly...

Puzzle, I'm one of two girls - my dad loves us to bits (& wanted girls - he has never known a well-behaved boy, but of course that'll change ), but there came a point me, my mum & my sister were all rampaging around with PMT at the same time of the month, every month... Poor man

Need to go & sort some financial stuff out now (DP's come back & opened yet more bills that I had no idea were coming , hence why it's taken so long for me to get this far), so I'll be back later to finish off xx

what rude word???

Nutty - we live 5 mins' walk from the hospital, probably takes longer to drive as we have to park miles away from the house. But that is purely coincidental, albeit quite handy and reassuring now.

Snowy- it seems that the woman in question had 6 kids, had had the op to have no more, but had remarried and wanted kids with her new DH, so told him and everyone else she was pregnant. The kidnapping was apparently an attempt to find a baby to pass it off as hers. That's me reading between the lines of the press...

Well, my latest attempt to drag my childhood customs to France failed: DS wanted to write a letter to Santa, so we did. Rather than posting it, I suggested we send it up the chimney, which is what we did when I was a kid. But he looked horrified ("it'll get burnt, Mummy"), so to compromise we left it on his mantlepiece for Santa to find, after much worrying about whether the downstairs fire would have gone out so Santa wouldn't get burnt. I sneaked in and took the letter before DS woke up, and his first words of the day were to wonder if it was still there. But when I said that it had gone, and Santa must have taken it, he burst into tears, saying he'd wanted to see Santa and wanted the letter back so Santa would come again and then DS could see him.

This lying to your kids lark is very complex!

Hi again, thanks for the welcome messages. I'm having a blue baby and yes it is a bit weird knowing exactly when he is due to arrive.
I was also a bit concerned about an April baby and school - but as a teacher I checked my registers and found no reason to be based on dates - there are good and bad kids in in every month. Still worrying that he will be at home until 4 1/2!

Yes, nutty, I am a Free Woman now!!

snowy - i dont have any insight really into your situation - sounds like nutty and boffin are much more able to provide you with good advice, but your post did worry me too. I know you were thinking of talking to your mum at christmas and I hope you can still do that - I know you dont want her to stop liking your dp - but sounds like you really need somebody in rl to confide in.

auldalliance - do you speak to your ds in French or English or both? And is your dh/dp French? Sorry if you've told us that before.

It is scary about that woman - but I am quite confident about the security in the hospital last time with ds - although I suppose if you are determined, you can find ways round security. But snowy - re swapping - a lot of babies look strangely like their dads as soon as they are born - ds was the absolute spitting image, so I think you'd recognise your own if somebody swapped it.

Hollytree, I am not sure about giving practical advice in this instance because every situation is so different, but the more I hear from Snowy, the more I hope she gets herself off to Relate, because these people really do know what they are doing.

Snowy, from my point of view based on what you have told us here, but reading between the lines a bit, it seems as though your situation is really not good at all and actually deteriorating despite your best efforts to put a spin on it, but I think you know this or you wouldn't be posting at length about it. You are also clearly not over the rest of the stuff that has happened in your life. I think it's bigger than you can sort out alone.

www.relate.org.uk/
www.home-start.org.uk/
www.shef.ac.uk/counselling/

I will be checking up on you Snowy!