Dec 08 - the one where we wonder what are our bodies going to do next?

[rosmerta]

Sorry for rubbish title, best I could do

i don't understand it though when my brother had children i couldn't get enough of them i was often popping over to see them (that SIL also makes good coffee) and babysitting. I have friends here whose family are constantly sending their own teenage children (older cousins) over to look after their young kids.

We have friends who have a better relationship with our DS and love him to bits compared to my DH's sis.

Turnip will be interesting to see if your SIL expects you to look after their 1st child when you next have you holiday.

I think it's just a personality type thing.

DH's sister (also childless) is always offering to look after DS, sadly she doesn't live in the country so DS barely knows her, and I think she doesn't realise how difficult it is to leave a 2yo with a virtual stranger, especially one who isn't used to kids. We did try it once and he was completely inconsolable - I think she is slightly offended but I don't know what to do about it as there isn't anyway of getting him more used to her, he just doesn't see her enough.

It's sad because he absolutely adores my sister (in a really quite weird, stalkerish way!) and although she's fond of him, the affection is definitely mainly on his side!

I don't care really, I don't take it personally.

hi all you lot natter so much i can never keep up! feel like im moving in slow motion at the moment anyway with excessive tiredness .. not helped by the fact that we changed bedrooms around about 3 weeks ago so my two boys (3 and 2) are now in one room in bunkbeds and my dd (8) now has her own space in her own room. Unfortunately this ment taking ds2 out of a cot and since then he has been waking between 5 and 6am and crying .. before he still woke up early but would not cry would happily play with teddies in his cot. Little bugger didnt go to sleep till after 9pm last night either and has become increasingly clingy me thinks he is becoming increasingly aware that there is an intruder on the way.

Grrr at your selfish SILs ... im very lucky with most of my family and in laws except DPs youngest sister who no one speaks to anymore but who still manages to cause chaos and heartache to his mom and her own children ..
but that is a long story

sorry moan over hope you are all doing well xx

sorry Turnip - cross-posted! agree it's a completely different kettle of fish, what you can ask your own relatives to do!

I would ask my in-laws for help but only if I was pretty certain they'd want to do it anyway (if you see what I mean).

Perhaps when your SIL has her own kids you can do a bit of subtle bargaining, eg "Oh would you like me to babysit for X on your wedding anniversary? Then perhaps you could return the favour next week when I want to go to the cinema" or whatever?!

or she may just clue up and realise how bloody knackering it having small kids!

I knew you meant me Turnip but i think you need a little break, maybe you deserve a little prenatal massage or a little treatment.

Well, had call from DH and they were seen really quickly, X-rayed and sorted (something called Housemaid's elbow, apparantly really common but I hadn't heard of it before). Be careful about pulling small children by their arms! Though a better alternative than letting him run onto the road... Anyway, they're both having lunch in the local greasy spoon and I am home to let them in so all is well

Any tips on amusing toddlers that do NOT involve trips to A&E gratefully received . DH and I usually do one day a week each (plus the weekend) so don't need anything more structured than going to the park or the shops. Might need some more activities! Also need a pair of reins. Unless there are bizarre reins-related injuries I don't know about.

Turnip: sorry to hear your holiday was spoiled . Can you get your DH to take the kids for the day and go off and do something? Or is the work issue an ongoing one? I'd be livid if DH had to abandon a family holiday (especially if he thought I had it easy staying to look after the kids!). How old will your eldest be when DC2 arrives?

nursemaid's elbow that is

www.babycenter.com/0_nursemaids-elbow-pulled-elbow_1494567.bc

So glad everything is ok Effie.

effie, not heard of that before, glad ds is ok though. Must be careful. I have some reins for ds, the harness type ones. You can get a wrist one but I think there have been a few accidents with them as well.

I think we need a proper harness affair (actually a dog harness would work well )

I would imagine wrist straps have the same risks as hand-holding.

a nanny sounds an excellent idea, as does the break in October. Will your eldest be at school by Christmas?

another good experience at the Homerton btw for the North London ladies... DS was seen pretty quickly, x-rayed, seen again and out in about an hour. They have a separate paediatric bit with toys in (and toddler proof) so you don;t have to wait in the main A&E with the drunks and the loons

effie, my comment about must be careful was actually meant to be I must be careful, not aimed at you!

Turnip, your break and nanny idea sounds good, hope it goes better!

Glad all is well Effie pulled elbow is very common in toddlers as the little blighters are always tryin to run out onto the road. I used to see it often in the paed A&E of the hosp i worked from. Nothing you can really do to prevent it as in almost all the cases we got through it was basically the elbow pull or some other nasty accident.

I got reins for my very active DS when he was about 18months but really it just gave me an extra half meter away from him i still had to spend most of my time running. imagine a jogger taking their grey hound for a run with a leash and that was me and DS with the reins.

Turnip i think you have done really well with your kids over you 'holiday' they must be very well behaved, or you are simply amazing and very patient.

Effie how old is your DS? I think it's good to keep todds entertained ut am also a big advocate for that new buzzword benign neglect. I set up things for DS and i to do together like cooking or walks or painting etc but also i give him heaps of time just playing by himself with me either cleaning or (in many cases) having a coffee and a scan of MN.

effie so glad your DS is not badly hurt. When my little sis was about 2, my parents dislocated her shoulder by doing that thing where you take one arm each and swing the child between you - it was about 48 hours before they realised what had happened, as she'd stopped sucking her thumb - for the first day they were pleased with themselves that they'd managed to break her thumb sucking habit, before realising the problem was a little bigger! Within half an hour of seeing the doc her thumb was back in and I don't remember her making much fuss at any point, I think Mum and Dad were more upset - as I guess you were too Effie.

turnip sorry to hear about your holiday - fingers crossed your October break will be more succesful. Did your children have fun?

DS is 21 mo Veggie . We do a fair amount of stuff together like cleaning, but he is not sympathetic to me (or DH) sitting down at the computer when he wants to play! As soon as I get near the sofa he starts bringing books over for me to read (Mog! Mog! Up! Knee!). LOL at you running behind your DS - I do that a lot

Hello all, feeling a bit hazy so haven't managed to post, though I have been reading some of the thread. Hope you're all OK.

LOL at benign neglect - told my DH that was his style of parenting and he was strangely flattered. But then the programme I was watching did say it was a good thing.

I'm still recovering from a weekend of sole parenting. My DD doesn't allow me to neglect her benignly but just keeps asking questions over and over until I answer. She was so excited to have me to herself but that meant she couldn't sit still. I feel like it's good to be in the office having a rest .

mmmm....21months, i'm afraid it is a lot of attention giving at that age, unless you pop Cbeebies on for the odd 15min break (or so). Do you have any friends close by who have children it can help to go to the park with someone else and their child break up your day and you both get a bit of social time. Also if the weather is crap outside you cold see if there are any soft play gyms close to you, you are close to the homerton aren't you there is a little soft play thing called mudlarks at Canary wharf in the Docklands museum and the museum of childhood in Bethnal green is good for a run around although no longer has a soft play it does have a little sensory chill out zone that is good for a sit down for you and stimulating for DS. Also good coffee shop.

ZJ your poor mum and dad they must have felt terrible LOL at them thinking they had stopped the thumb sucking they must have felt quite smug.....then completely mortified!!!!! Isn't it amazing that a 2 year old girl can cope with the pain for 48 hours yet my DH was a complete mess when he dislocated his shoulder, well he was pretending he wasn't a mess but was doing all puffing and wincing while they sorted him out.

I think we get softer as we get older, I stung myself on a nettle this weekend and I don't ever remember it hurting that much before - poor me! My parents laugh now and my sis (aged 26) still threatens to report them to the NSPCC from time to time for it, but they must have felt so so terrible at the time.

I think today is the day I 'officially' look pregnant - I went for a swim this morning and two people asked me when the baby is due. So I must be past the stage when people are thinking 'is she pregnant or fat'!

Turnip what a PITA. I reckon somewhee like Mark Warner for half term will you srill be able to fly? A nanny is an excellent idea wich we could have one although that would negate somewhat my abilities seeing as I used to be a nanny before haivng DS.

Effie so glad your DS is ok I looked after a little boy who did it twice its because of their bones not being all joined up or something. Re the reins I think they sound like an excellent idea and remember in a few yrs time we will be complaining about them being all stroppy and walking miles behind us.

TheYoungVisitor I like your idea of just throwing them in like a mini hand grenade might try that next time I am with the rellies.

Reban fingers in my ears lalalalalalala am not listening to stories of babies coming out of cots and waking early, we have to do this with DS 14mth before the mini munch arrives.

Zoe but at your parents.

I love the benign parenting I think its a very important developmental aid to teach our children to play on their own while I do some lovely organic cooking mumsnetting and watching daytime telly.