Due DECEMBER 2008 - just over a hundred shopping days to Baby

[LadyThompson]

New thread, people, unless someone else has started one...

Hi lal - both my sisters were 2 weeks late with both their littles, as was DH's sister, so I've got a feeling ours could be too! so if you are, and you don't get the home birth, I could well see you there!

Went swimming this morning, so feeling really good, which is surprising! Did 17 lengths of 25m pool - trying to build up to 20, but find I get tired really quickly and a bit of a pain in my tummy, so need to stop. DH doesn't really understand that you have to take things more gently when pg! But luckily he wasn't there, so did it at my own pace. But now feeling really relaxed - small danger of nodding off at my desk!!!

Veggie - know what you mean about telling people not to be there - I hate sounding like an old bat re people to stay, as genuinely like it in small doses. But think there comes a point when it's a bit much. My heart sank last night, when DH's friend announced that he was staying til Sunday. I didn't say a word, but could feel internal wince going on. We're going away on Friday to North Wales as well for a few days, so wasn't that keen on him being in house on his own as it's a bit "my space" sort of invastion (if that makes sense). Anyway, DH spoke to him today and told him he could stay til Thursday. Sometimes, I think the sun shines out of his arse. Lovely man!

Can't wait for Friday - going away til Tues or Weds next week - bliss. Sailing, walking etc.

Effie - think it's your scan today - good luck!

Hello all!
congrats simmo on succesful scan!
I went for a swim this morning too beans, might as well not have bothered, came out the pool and it was raining so hard I could've just stayed outside! by the time i had cycled to work i was drenched. Feeling virtuous and a bit sleepy too.
My other half is keen on homebirth idea, but i am a bit nervous of doing it on lottery that is NHS and not sure I want to splash out on going private, also think I would like maximum pain relief options as I don't know what to expect. Would like to think I could do without any of the heavyweight pain relief options, but I have heard that a lot of first timers can think "definitely natural" and are desperate for epidurals when it comes down to it, so I am not ruling anything out.

Hi all - welcome to crazycatlady, I'm hoping for homebirth too, was a great experience last time. Someone mentioned Bristol and their high homebirth rate? That's where I am, never realised it was that high! We'll be relying on NHS midwives, but they served us well last time for the birth (not so good on post-natal, but I think that's a prob in hosp too). We're meeting a poss doula on Thursday.

Had the scan yesterday, we had MW doing it who was learning how to use the equipment so we were in there for ages. She went really slowly too so we could really see everything clearly. She then had to get someone to double-check what she'd done so they gave us about a dozen pics for free as a reward for being so patient. Lovely to see everything was fine, can relax a bit now. Mind you this one is such a livewire atm, always shimmying around...

Hope your scan goes well today Effie

Morning all,
Im rubbish at trying to remember what i've read to comment on, pg brain has definately kicked in . Apologies girls.

Effie good luck with your scan today, Im sure everything will be fine
Mine's tomorrow 22wks, bringing along DP's DD aswell she's very excited about the whole thing.

Also, well done on your scan simmo

Have got a stinker of a cold and feeling uncomfortable sitting at my desk, my back is aching and I think my bump has grown hugely overnight.
Haven't felt baby move today, he or she is usually quite wriggly, im not worried though, but i will try and lay down a bit later to see if that works.

Hi to the newcomers. Hope everyone is well.
x

Poor you, purple - sounds miserable.

Thanks beans, I did want to say how sorry I am for your friend in work, and for you also, hope today is a brighter day for you.

Thanks Purple. I'm feeling better about it. I'm just thinking of her. Poor thing.

OOh well done swimming ladies ! and cycling too, flip that makes me feel lazy ! Must get Erin dvd out tonight !

Effie all the best with scan and you too Purple for tomorrow.

Some fo you ladies seem really organised with birth plans - I watched a documentary about baby's development in the womb (which was very interesting) and at the end they showed about 2 mins of the lady giving birth - I have to admit it scared that cr@p out me I have seen similar before but not since PG and thinking 'OMG I have to do that in a few weeks' yikes ! Am definitely going into hospital and having lots of pain relief - I'll go as far as possible without it but am realistic enough to know that I'm a complete wimp and will need lots of drugs

I have been on an antenatal course already (long story, could not get on later one). They showed us a birth video but it was really fluffy and easy looking (moaning and bit of strong moaning at the end, but that was it) and I am suspicious about real ones being like that
I seemed to be the only dubious one on the course though. I wanted to know about epidurals and what happens and why you might have to have an emergency c-section, and everyone else was mmm...this natural lark sounds great. Think midwives doing the course thought I was a fussbag/wimp

summer was the one you did an NHS or NCT one? I'm curious as to why they didn't tell you about c-sections/epidurals etc. I think its important to know about what might happen, what you can do etc so you're prepared. & the parents in the observations I've done are keen to know as well, it doesn't seem to scare them at all!

it was an independent one (i.e. neither). They did tell us about epidurals but it was quite negative (not completely or overtly, but that was the sort of impression I got. But I guess that is not surprising from independent midwives who do home births). Also I asked about emergency c-sections, and they said they didn't cover that as it was very rare! Which it is not surely? I just want to avoid it if at all possible so want to know if there is any case when they would say I needed one when I didn't really. Hopefully not. And what to expect if I do have to have one so I am no more freaked out than I have to be.

But I am sure I can learn all this stuff myself and I did learn lots of useful stuff, so I can't really complain.

Very rare!! What rubbish!!

National c-section rate is about 25% (that includes elective, admittedly, but you might have an elective for a kind of emergency reason, ie placenta praevia or pre-eclampsia) and I think for first time mothers the rate is even higher than that.

Emergency rate is at least 15% in most hospitals - hardly rare!

That kind of attitude really annoys me - it also smacks of the idea that if you think positive and do all the right exercises you won't end up with any interventions which is a) bollocks and b) gives women who do end up with an unwanted section a feeling that they were somehow at fault for not maintaining their positive mind-set strongly enough.

Grr!!

Sorry, rant over. Please put it down to pg hormones.

Yes I took some of it with a pinch of salt to be honest, but I just think coming away with the impression that any intervention is bad, particularly for the baby will make people feel unnecessarily guilty about having it...and every one is different surely...I would love to have an easy not agonizing natural birth but I am not going to feel guilty if that doesn't happen (am not the feeling guilty type!)

I guess their definition of rare may be 15%! But to me that is definitely high enough that I would like to know what to expect.

tyv, I agree with you, was trying to find a way to write it down!

Thing is, epidurals can have a negative effect on labour but it ultimately comes down to the woman's choice, and to make a choice you need to be informed about the advantages & disadvantages. A woman is much more likely to be happy with her decision if she knows fully what will happen.

I'll stop now too

gosh, I had no idea I felt so strongly about it until I started typing! Having said that my antenatal teacher was very pro-natural birth but also very realistic about the alternatives and when they might be needed - I remember someone asked about intervention rates and she said something like "in a room of 12 pregnant women about 3 will end up with a caesarean, about 2 will have some other kind of intervention like forceps or ventouse, and the remaining ones will probably have a natural birth" (think those were the stats but don't quote me!)

Whereupon of course we all looked round at each other wondering who the lucky 5 would be

after our NCT classes and lots of talk about natural birth etc 5 had emergency sections out of 8 of us!

However when we had our NHS antenatal classes, the midwife was amazing-really inspiring (even showed us photos of her own home births!)and she said she deliberately avoided discussing c-sections, epidurals etc because if they were needed in labour, you would get them. She didn't want us to focus on that in the preparation (made sense when she explained it anyway)

I had a small nosebleed this morning-yuck. not sure if that is significant in any way or just one of those things

mibbes, I'm with you on the old drugs front. I do want to try not to have them, but frankly I cry when I get a splinter, so forcing a watermelon out of my fanny is going to be a mahoosive trauma and I think I will probably resort to an epidural fairly quickly!

I do think it's extraordinary that they didn't go into more detail on alternatives as you can never predict what's going to happen in labour and you should be aware of all options that are available and that you might need. Madness.

majormoo I think it was for similar reasons that they didn't on my course as well. They wanted people to realise that it could be natural, uncomplicated and not too painful.

However, it is quite likely not to be. I'm sure for some people they maybe only want to know the best case scenario, but I am not like that!

It is a difficult thing to balance tbh, if you are going to cover epidurals & c-sections then it needs to be done in a very non-biased manner, just the straightforward facts.

On a recent course I observed, the teacher was obviously trying to change people's minds about where to give birth because her view was as soon as you get into hospital, you're going to end up having a c-section. Or that's how it came across anyway and the group definitely didn't like that!

I think I'd also want to know all the facts. A friend of mine needed an emergency c-section after 24 hours of labour, but didn't realise that involved an epidural - she was desparately against having an epidural and it took 4 doctors/nurses to hold her down to administer it (where she got her strength from, I don't know!). That was so scary for her and her DH and made the whole process so traumatic - whereas if she'd known that it was needed she would have been calmer and would look back on her beautiful daughters birth with better memories. I want to know as much as possible about everything, so I'm not surprised during the process and therefore will feel more in control ... I think.

Hello to crazycatlady, great news from rhinestonecowgirl on the scan and good luck to effie and purple for your scans.

I've got an aqua natal class tonight - please all keep your fingers crossed that the fire alarm doesn't go off this week and I don't have to stand around on the main street in my cossie again!!

ZJ.x

I think I'm just not that phased about it. Want to be in hospital in case of emergency, and will try to do just G&A, but if it comes down to it, would have an epidural or an emergency c-section. Just whatever means the baby comes out ok, if you know what I mean. Think there's always risks in every situation, but might as well make it as stress-free for the baby and for me.

Hee hee zj - that's my ultimate nightmare in street in cozzie. I haven't done my bikini line in ages, as figure that if I dont' look at it, no one will notice. But if I was on the street, I think people would actually be looking and would see how woolly I am! Off for a wax tomorrow and I can't wait!

My DH said I looked like a minotaur when pushing DD out - so Summer you're right to be dubious about the DVD you saw. If I'd been in hospital, I'm sure I'd have had more drugs - that was one of my reasons for wanting a HB, to be out of the way of temptation. I think for me the most important thing was to feel informed. I also had a ridiculously detailed rigid birthplan, and was miraculously lucky to get it - though at the time of the birth neither me nor DH could have cared less about who cut the cord or told me what sex she was. All these things eem so important beforehand - the best thing is to know what you would like in an ideal world but also be prepared to accept that things may not go the way you hope. Most women seem to feel that they are happy with their births whatever they may be as long as they felt consulted and as if they understood why things happened the way they did. Sorry, I'm wittering...

beans luckily I had my towel to wrap round me - my bikini line is similar! (oddly though, it is growing slower than in pre-pg state, but my underarm hair is growing twice as fast )