Due DECEMBER 2008 - just over a hundred shopping days to Baby

[LadyThompson]

New thread, people, unless someone else has started one...

Beans your poor friend, so sorry to hear that. I foolishly read a detective novel this weekend in which the main character's wife died at 5 months pg, I wept like mad, it was probably a bit of a daft decision to carry on as soon as things started looking bad.

Effie and RhinestoneCowboy hope your scans go well today.

I had a docs appointment this morning to discuss home birth, and she was super-positive about it she's just come from Bristol where they have a HB rate of 14% ! so was very laid back and encouraging. Just have to tackle it with the MW next and see what she thinks - though the 25 week checkup isn't for 2 weeks so plenty of time to prepare my argument!

That's ok, be as miserable as you want, we shall feed you chocolate

Dp was at a graduate work event training thingy a little bit ago and caught up with another grad there who should have been a dad by now His dw is pg again so they are keeping everything crossed.

I suppose just offer whatever support and kind words you would have done if you were not pg, I kow you don't want to feel as though you will be flaunting your bump but hanging back would make her feel it more I think.

14% jj! That is fantastic! Our MWs are ace though. "Where did you want to give birth?" "Home" "Wonderful"

beans you are doing well to hold back the tears i would just go to the loo or outside and let them out, i have this problem where if i don't cry even just a few tears when something upsets me, i get a migraine the next day without fail. If your workmates have any sort of feeling they would understand. It's not just sad for her but a reminder of what could easily happen to any of us and how lucky we are.

Exactly, Veggie. I have had a bit of a cry and people have been very sweet and understanding. Didn't really mean to, but someone asked me specifically if I was ok. People can be lovely - restores faith.

We are so lucky and I won't stop counting my lucky stars. I think today has made me realise how much I really really love this little beast wriggling around. I can't wait to meet him/her!

Thanks v much for all kind words.

JJ - that's great news - I'm chuffed to bits for you.

PS indith - thanks for chocolate thoughts. Making me salivate! dribble.

Bump stroking I really dont like it. I really find it an invasion of personal space. I dont mind so much if someone asks but its the random ones. My MIL last time round drove me insane with it before she would even say hello she was on my belly. This time round DP has told her I find it really uncomfortable when people just start touching me and she listened no bump touching yet. There ius a websire which does great t-shirts and they sell one with DO NOT TOUCH THE BUMP in massive letter on it quite funny but I reckon if you wore it people might think you were being ironic.

beans I agree with Veggie - sometimes just better to cry. Poor woman. You should probably just follow her lead in how she wants to handle - am sure indith is right that hanging back might make her feel it more. Have discovered I can eat maltesers. Not sure what essential pregnancy nutrition they include but is a start...

thanks lal and indith - I will do that. She's off for a few weeks now, poor thing.

I'm glad you can eat maltesers - I've heard they're very good for you. I hope so anyway as I ate a whole big bag myself at the cinema last week. And could have eaten more!

Beans: that is so sad, poor woman .

mibbes: of course you've had your scan (doh emoticon). I get v confused with who is doing what. RG: good luck for today. DH and I are planning to go out for lunch tomorrow after the scan is over (hopefully all good news) whicih will be nice. Am planning to ask about the sex as well - eek!

At some point we need to tackle the How to Tell DS About the Baby thing - are there any books/patent methods people would recommend? I wanted to wait until after 5 months but not sure how much longer to wait, given that he won't understand a lot and there's still a long time to go (he;s only 22 months)

Hmm, I think this has advice, although not 100% sure, Effie. But there are books you can buy that introduce it gently.

I'm afraid I don't really know as don't have any others as yet!

sorry Beans missed your post, terribly sad totally ok to shed some tears.

I will have some of that choccie of its on offer.

I've been sort of pondering that Effie, ds is 19 months and not so great at the whole communication thing. I just sort of chat about the baby to him, if he's prodding my tummy for example then "is that your little brother or sister in there?" and that sort of thing as well as praise if he is helpful or nice to a smaller baby then "you are going to be a very good big brother" type stuff. Not idea if any of that is considered "right" but with ds not really talking at all then although I know he understands a lot and happily give him instructions I never really consider what I say in front of him [bad mother]

What chocolate?

Indith, slow but sure might be the way to go. I think DS understands more than I give him credit for - I tend to make the mistake of thinking he's still at the stage he was a month or two back when he's changing sooo quickly at the moment, esp re: speech and communication. Might start chatting to him about it (and warn our cm as well, she is v good at this sort of thing).

One thing I keep forgetting about this pg is t do my pelvic floor exercises! I sued to be reallyt good about them but have got v lazy...

Hi everyone, I hope you've all had good weekends.

Beans I am so sorry to hear about your colleague, the poor, poor woman. Sorry for you too, I can completely understand why you would be upset, I find it really hard reading people's sad stories on MN, it must be even worse when it happens to a friend. I hope she is ale to have enough time off to rest and recover (as much as is possible) before she has to come back to work.

Well I finally stopped bleeding completely on Thursday night and the tests for infection that they did at the hospital came back clear. I have been trying to look forward now and feel positive about the pregnancy again but I'm just so worried now that something will go wrong and I will lose the baby.

I started a separate thread in pregnancy and got some really reassuring answers from MNers who've had similar experiences which helped a lot and I've made an appointment to see my GP tomorrow. I hope she will be able to talk through what happened with me and maybe provide some reassurance. I hope she doesn't think I'm wasting her time.

I really just want to get back to enjoying being pregnant again.

I haven no idea what to say to DS 14mth his form of communication is to scream blue murder. I do tell him he is going to be a big brother and he has taken to using my bump as a climbing frame and I tell him not to climb on his little sister/brother but no idea if he really understands it. I was in John Lewis and gave him a dolly to hold and he started crying really loudly not really sure this bodes well.

pixsix: glad the bleeding has settled down. Hopefully your GP will be able to reassure you. I'm not sure you ever stop worrying (currenlty chewing nails at thought of tomorrow's scan) but you should be able to enjoy the pg as well. Did the hospital give you any further info on the cause of the bleeding? Will you have any further scans or tests?

Effie I don't think I'll have any other scans or tests unless I get any more bleeding or start to get pain. I guess that's reassuring in a way as they must think there probably isn't anything seriously wrong.

Good luck for your scan tomorrow! I hope they are able to tell you the sex. It's nice that you've planned a meal afterwards to celebrate, I think that's a good way of thinking positive.

hi all, just popping in quickly before I go have a nap! Ds didn't nap yesterday, up at 6.30am and after running round with his friends is just wiped out.

beans am so sorry about your friend. Its really hard to know what to do/say. She might keep her distance from you to start with even though you're not flaunting it iyswim, I would just take her lead.

pixsix glad everything seems to be settling down, fingers crossed everything goes well from now on.

Re books, I got a book from the library someone recommended called There's a House Inside my Mummy. Its really very sweet, we've been reading it to ds and he seems to have more of an idea now that there will be a baby. He is 2.5 though so a bit older than some.

We've been talking to DS 19mnth about 'his' baby - and saying I have baby in my tummy which he occassionally kisses or pats. Following my DSIS's advice we also bought him a doll which he used to cuddle - and then lost out of the pushchair on the way home from the park . Hoping we'll do a bit better with the real thing. I'm not sure anything you say/do in advance can properly prepare them though. Seem to remember for nieces that others making big fuss of elder child helped once baby arrived.

pixsix so pleased for you - must have been very difficult time.

Ooh, Effie - it's actually really exciting having the scan, so GOOD LUCK! I was SO nervous, but at the same time, really enjoyed it, IYSWIM.

pixsix, it does all sound positive, which is great - fingers crossed.

jam, not sure if I should laugh at your struggles, but it does sound quite funny!

Not the same at all, but when my sister told her daughter, who was 3, she said "I already hate it and will put it in the bin". then when he was a year old, she tried to drown him. TBH, he's a real screamer and quite hard work. But they were in the bath together and my sister turned round to get their towels and said something to her husband. Turned round and found her daughter had her brother's head under the water and was holding it there! Terrifying. and her daughter just said in explanation "I'm sorry, Mummy, I just hate him"! The way my sister tells it is actually very funny. But must have been quite scary at the time!

Beans so sorry to hear about your colleague. I find it upsetting to hear about people losing babies, even when I don't know them, so I know I'd be gutted if I was you. We are all so lucky to be progressing well, and pixsix glad to hear everything has settled down with you again.

A friend of a friend has just given birth 8 weeks early - luckily her little boy is doing well, but it got me thinking about the risks to my little one - I said to OH this weekend that in another 3 weeks, if baby comes early, then he can be saved at that stage - obviously I'm hoping to last another 19 weeks, but knowing that with each week baby is getting safer and safer is v reassuring.

So last night, I did my first pregnant lady style get up off the sofa, push up with my arms, hips thrust forward. When I realised I'd done it I cried laughing at me, but what am I going to be like by December!

ZJ.x