Due Sept 08: Come on babies, 'cause we are running out of space.

[kiskidee]

New thread here.

Daft name cause we only have 4 more before we hit 1000.

Sending waves of "I know what you mean" to you all. i too am scared at how much more I will grow yet I feel so big I will burst.
Have 2 weeks 3 days left in work, thank god, and am currently tussling with HR over my return to work date - I say 2 April, they say 1 April but I think they have ignored the fact that as I am only taking OML, I get credit for accrued bank holidays at the end - ie xmas day, boxing day etc. Grrr.

Blood pressure still a little high but not so much that mw is worrying.
Had a great home visit on Sunday. I was still in my nightie as started a terrible cold on Saturday so got no sleep as couldn't breathe but she was lovely, checked bp (yes high but not creeping up) and listened to flumpet's heartbeat whilst I lay on my couch. Luckily I had remembered to put knickers on, especially as the lounge curtains were open.... Neighbours would have got a shock....

Cold getting better now, so hoping to sleep better tonight.

sketti welcome. My DP is normally very good but we have had rows and he hasn't offered to massage my back or anything. In fact he's currently checking emails when he promised to put cot together - I am getting stressed that the nursery is not done!!! He also says that as I wake him up at night, he is just as tired as I am! Men!!

And why are mums some of the most impatient people?
I crossed the zebra crossing at asda today, making a mum in a huge BMW X3 gas guzzler wait, with 2 kids in the back. She could see I am pregnant, yet practically sat revving her engine and tapping her fingers impatiently.
I'm determined not to turn into one of these mums....

ooh just thought of something for hospital bag

don;t know if its been mentioned before but you might appreciate taking a jug into hospital with you for if you have stitches

when you pee afterwards it burns, burns, burns and at my hospital they looked at me like i was made when i asked for a jug

Seen the midwife today for a check up and its possibly that i could have a c-section as having a big baby and also its breech olique so got the gym ball. How long do i have to bounce on it? Also if it will end up head down, its 50/50 that i will end up having a c-section after all!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

lol meglet I've just done the ironing didn't take long as the clothes are sooo small....in fact gorgeous!!

Your lucky debithescot having your MIL do it for you, mine never visits let alone do my ironing...in fact don't think she knows where we live

Will find out this week if the baby is still breech but it's still playing prodding games on my cervix...ouch!!! so not confident it has. Anyone know at what stage (weeks) a section is decided?

biglips when do you find out for def if you gotta have a section?

ive gotta see the consultant on the 15th...im dreading it now!!

the c-section is usually decided about 37-38 weeks - i think

Nothing is ever written in stone according to maternity care. Consultants etc may speak that way because that is the way they have gotten used to speaking.

Every hospital sets its own policy if a c/s is planned. some will say for eg. 39, the one down the road in a similar scenario may say 40.

I don't know your exact situation, mumiyumi but the can offer you a section for a certain day, but even on that same day you can say, you know what, I would rather wait. You can request managed care in most scenarios. they can't make you have one even if they have planned one weeks ago.

If you want to share more info unique to your situation, maybe I can give more specific advice.

look at www.spinningbabies.com for info about getting your baby into optimal position, biglips. how far along are you?

oooh, I have to let you know that I have finally bought a foxy leopard print b/f bra in H&M, £9.99. I look quite the yummy mummy in it even if I do say so myself . My old nursing bra's don't fit now, so they definately wouldn't have fitted once my milk comes in. So it was an excuse for another shopping spree, shame!

Hello everyone. I just can't stop crying tonight. The SPD and back pain is getting worse and worse and I know I'm being a terrible mother to dd. She was sat having her tea tonight and I just balled my eyes out. We'd been for a walk round the block to blow the cobwebs off coz she's been in a foul mood today, and by the time we got back I was in agony, then actually couldn't move. Dh is being as supportive as he can - does the cooking and makes me hot chocolates and hot water bottles for the back pain, but what I need is someone at home to help. Friends are lovely offering to take dd, but that makes me really really depressed because I'm being such an awful mother. Family too far away to be of any help, and besides, there's 8 weeks to go so any help would only be a drop in the ocean anyway. I'm so worried I'm getting ante-natal depression and will have post-natal depression too coz I just can't stop crying

It's just scary as you feel your baby is in their hands....the decision will be taken out of mine. i'll be 35 wks when i see the midwife on thurs, will she decide then right it's breech we'll sort out a section or will i be given more time for it to turn? Don't know at what stage (weeks) a section is done
it's my ds b'day on the 1st sept and really don't want to not be around for him them, maybe worrying a little prematurely but can't help it..excuse my ignorance but what is Managed care? Thanks for your advice kiskidee any more will be greatly recieved

carrieon,
i know it's easy for me to tell you to chin up. but i have to say that you are being a good mother just because your worried more about the affect your pain is having on your ability to be a good mother to your daughter. some mothers wouldn't even think about how their conditions affect their kids. i feel terrible about your pain and i hope it lets up soon. i'm sure your daughter won't hold this against you in the future since your such an attentive and wonderful mummy all the time anyway. she's probably in a foul mood because she can sense something is wrong but may not be able to understand it.

crying helps, but remember you've got a husband who is doing his best to help and friends who are also trying to help. your surrounded by a group of lovely people who may not understand fully what your going through but at the very least want to help you as much as possible. they care for you and you are loved very much even by your sweet dd.

i really wish you weren't in pain, but if it helps you only have a little ways to go. and your not alone.

Carrieon, sorry you are having a rough time right now. Are there things you could prepare for your dd to do that won't require you to do much. For my dd (3) I've got things like a bucket of playdoh and tools, lego that she can have on the table so I can play a bit with her too and a box of assorted crafty bits so that she can glue and cut to her little hearts delight. If you have a garden I'd let her out there as much as possible, maybe with a couple of small containers of water.

Remember, this is a short time, and taking your friends up on their offers of help doesn't make you a bad mother. Instead if you've had a rest you might be able to manage the rest of that day a bit better.

Sorry your feeling so crap carrieon it;s such a difficult time although i can only empathise with the spd and back pain, but i know how you feel about feeling an awful mother, i have no patience with my poor ds an he's often at the end of my snapping and short temper. I'm sure they wont remember and still love and need us at the end of all this.
Eandz is right i'm sure she'll be acting like she is because she's picking up on how your feeling and is worried, she'll be fine when her mummy returns! They're funny little beings and bounce back quick.
Maybe you should go and have a chat with your gp if you feel your getting depressed better to get it seen to now, as you don't want it developing further and being worse after the birth. I really hope you get to feel a bit more human soon take care xx

If your baby is still breech when you see her, they should first offer an ECV at 38 wks (I think) which is a manual attempt to turn the baby from o/s. For a lot of women it works but there is not guarantee that the baby will stay in this position. A friend of mine had it done in April and her baby stayed that way.

You can also ask, because I doubt that they would offer it, acupuncture with the hospital's physiotherapy unit. there is also moxibustion which you will have to seek out a practitioner of if you fancy that idea. I have read that it seems to work on the homebirth yahoo group.

Managed care is about having frequent monitoring to assess the situation at regular intervals. They probably don't like to suggest it because it takes more time and money to do it.

Since a normal pg is anything between 37 and 42 weeks, not 38-40 as most people believe you can buy yourself time to let other methods work before agreeing to a c/s. So as time goes on, you can have say weekly then maybe later on bi-weekly appts to check positioning. YOu could say, for example, external palpations till 40 wks then if no labour, an internal exam to check the state of your cervix. If no sign of softening for example you can say right at 41 wks you may have a c/s if baby has not yet turned / or you can let them know that you would like to try for a breech birth.

Bear in mind that many babies who are breech will also turn during labour itself as long as labour is allowed to progress naturally. Ie, you can to move around as much as you can, hence no strapping you to a fetal monitor which will force you to lie in a bed and no induction of labour.

As long as labour is allowed to take its natural course, the scenario of an 'emergency' section is small. Besides, an 'emergency' section IRL really means that it will still take at least 30 mins to get you into theatre. It in not like the movies.

I out to know. The registrar who delivered dd sent word for a Em C/S due to me starting to fit in labour. (v. badly managed pre eclampsia and care on the antenatal ward), and before I could be taken out the room for the section, my labour moved into the second stage and I pushed her out with the help of a ventouse.

I haven't read this site, but it seems a good place to start to bone up on some knowledge.

Hello all, finally caught up with all the posts, been away for 2 weeks, then spent a weekend laying laminate for my mum.
weather lovely got burnt with factor 30 on!!!
started part time work, only 2 shifts a week yay!

sorry your feeling down carrieon, but just remember this is not for very much longer, and keep reminding yourself, that you are a very good mum, and your hormones are taking over, making you feel this way.
congrats to jenbot, glad to hear lil clara doing well.
hope everyone is well, love to all xxx

Thank for the info i'll keep you informed of what the mw says on thurs but feel more in control now i know what my options can be.

Not sure if i'd like a breech birth as ds birth was long and very painful, ending up being an emergency ventouse so want to avoid anything like that!

Thanks again...how many children have you got as you sound like you know what your talking about! a professional!!!

Carrieon Just wanted to say I know how you feel, I have days like that too and our DD's our roughly the same age. I think the reason you are crying is that you are in pain and are hormonal - it's quite understandable and IMO doesn't mean you've got ante-natal depression or are going to get PND. Try not to be too hard on yourself. We're getting to the most difficult bit of the pregnancy now - we're big and heavy and it's difficult to lift our DDs, which we also feel guilty about. Hang on in there and remember the SPD should go once you've given birth so in 8 weeks this should be a distant memory and you'll have another gorgeous little person to love! Big hug.

I only have one child but because my care was so badly managed the last time round, I have learnt a lot in the last 20 wks or so to make sure I know as much as possible.

I know that the idea of a breech birth scares a lot of people but like I said, you can wait till as late as you are comfortable with to give your baby the chance to turn before going into labour. Only be mindful that if you agree to a C/S in the end, they will of course want a nice weekday - again, at their convenience, not yours.

Definitely look at the AIMS website and the homebirth website because they will have additional information of your rights as well as to make you more confident about breeches and trusting your baby and your body (nature) to get into optimal positioning.

In the meanwhile, I heartily recommend watching telly, reading, even MNing on a birthing ball as well as looking at the Spinning Babies website and the diagrams on that page to help your baby turn.

You can also start to wash the floors and clean the low kitchen cupboards etc as it gets you on your hands and knees to help your baby turn. But that sounds like work!

Carrieon I am thinking about you too and I send you lots of hugs. Like jearund says i also feel like that, most of the time really, from the time my husband goes to work till he comes back.

I would love to sit down and close my eyes, but instead we have to look after our children and if we don't feel up to it and in your case, you have pains, that makes you feel you are the worst mother in the world, BUT YOU AREN'T.

Our kids won't remember these last months of the pregnancy because they were neglected, we are giving them sisters and brothers and in a year's time they will have a close bound. Try to focus in why you are doing this, in my case I am 41 and I wanted to complete my family and I should be happy I am about to achive it. WHAT IS YOUR REASON?
Is it is a happy one, keep it in mind and time will fly.
I too feel big, tired, dizzy, useless, you are not alone.

optimal fetal positioning on the homebirth website. But definitely look at the home page too as it has lots of interrelated issues with pregnancy and labour management and your rights which happen in hospital as well as home births. You may like to read the stories about breech home births just so that it normalises the situation for you so you can feel less stressed as scared of the unknown.

Oh carrieon, so sorry you are suffering

I can empathise with the whole "I am a rubbish mummy" thing though. My ds is so very active and I cant play with him like I used to as I am too big now and so uncomfortable (but not in agony like you!)

I would second what sassafrass said though - I am trying to find things we can do together that dont involve me crawling around on the floor or walking too far....drawing and colouring, sticking and glueing, even baking is good becasue you can do it standing up (I find sitting for any length of time painful).

Anything that can be done at the kitchen table is good.

Please dont be so hard on yourself...I am sure lack of sleep and hormones are not helping - I know that they are not helping my state of mind!!!!

carrieon: is there a pool you can use? I am having hydrotherapy once a week at the hospital for my spd along with a few other pg women. We simply walk back and forth in the shallow end, slowly, not big steps, swing a leg gently from front to back and making circles with them while standing on the other and shallow, not deep squats so that we don't aggravate the spd.

the warm water (36 deg) provides instant relief and and the buoyancy is also welcome. I was vv knackered the first time I got home but the second week it was better. The theory is that you are getting some exercise which is important for labour and since we can't get it as effectively on dry land anymore...

Hope this gives you ideas and hugs.

Thank you all for your lovely words. I'm hoping today is just a hormones incident. You've all made me cry again but for happy reasons this time coz you're being so nice. Oh I'm welling up again!!! Found some really useful threads on MN (of course) about spd before, during and after labour. Feeling a little more armed with info, which makes me feel a little better. Hoping for a good nights sleep for everyone