Due July 2008 - the thread where we realise it IS July, and we mustn't be so busy talking we forget to get round to birthing!

[Polyxene]

Well, I hope a lot more of us can manage to have our babies in THIS thread, even if we will probably talk our way through it well before the end of the month!

disney - so sorry to hear you are feeling down, do not blame yourself, you have a newborn other kids and a DP who is working away, I don't know how you are coping, I think I am only gettin through it as DP is here am dreading him going back to work next week. Remember your hormones are all over the place. Please talk to your MW or HV asap. Let the housewrok and the other stuff go lifes too short. Keep posting here even just to rant and rave it does help.

gilly - I had the exact same thing happen with DD1, very jaundiced couldn't latch, got dehydrated admitted back to hospital threatened with tube feedin etc. I was very stubborn and told them to get me a pump. Would totally recommend it, I had a double one in the hospital and my little electic one at home. Even if I was pumping and only getting 1-2 ozs I gave her them every hour. I also put her to the breast before giving the top up every time so she would try and latch and remember what to do if that makes sense. Sometimes she couldn't latch at all and would need the bottle other times she took a bit. Eventually after about a week she would latch more and more and didn't need the top ups. I would be very careful about using formula if you want to protect and establish your supply. Try him latching first then top up with BM then formula if you feel he is still hungry. Honestly the pumping is a godsend to stimulate your supply. You poor thing with the migraines too can you take some painkillers, I'm sure you can take co-codamol when BFing.

Last MW visit this morning for me felt very emotional MW has been great and I will miss her.

Yes, I agree with everything above! I can type now! Disney, you are doing BRILLIANTLY! I've struggled big time lately with Charlie having colic! Yes, silly old colic, which is nothing compared to what you have and are going through. I really admire you.

There are people out there who are specifically there for people like yourself to talk to. You need support so please seek it.

Does anyone know what Disney's first port of call should be?

disney - big hugs to you. you know you have us all here to support you, no matter what. i've admired your strength and determination through your pregnancy and before and hope you can ride through this patch.

disney - so sorry you are feeling so bad. I have had PND every time since baby 1 - the first time seriously - you MUST talk to someone!!! You will not be sectioned!! Talk to a GP you like or MW and get help TODAY!!! This will not go away on its own but it can be helped so easilly if you ask for help. Please CAT me if you want to talk - I know what you are going through - I know the kind of awful thought you can have

HUGS to you and take care xxxxxxxxxx

Hiiii!!!

It's a strong and healthy GIRL!
I am aware that I was awol on this thread for yonks, apologies, but things have been mad. I've been ill alot with my chest and have spent alot of time in hospital, but it's all been worth it as yesterday we finally met little Jocelyn Taite!!

She weighs 6Ib 5oZ and she's georgeous. Big Brother Evan and sister Holly are very very proud and excited. I'm knackered but recovering very well. Thanks x

minipink the day has gone so fast im hardly aware of the time just so so tired now its like im on auto pilot kind of dizziness all the time
im sat in my study i can hear the kids laughing but its like im not here and the sounds come from somewhere else
my dh came home after i threatened silly things last night my daughter here cleaning up i guess i must be a mess im the sensible one the one who does it all sorts it all out

chat later

congrats shrooms!
hug for Disney - you're doing great xxx

Congrats Shrooms.

Disney - everything you are feeling and going through is completely understandable, and no one could judge you or critisize. You must speak to someone. What is your mw like? Is she understanding? If so try her. She must know how much you have on your plate. Honestly, it would be suprising if you didn't go through some sort of depression. I know it isn't much, but we are all here for you. Talk to us as much as you want. I know how depressed and emotional I was after DS and I had none of the problems that you have to face. Mabe it's about time you let someone else be the 'sensible' one for a while.

Still no signs here. 36 hours before induction...I'm so scared.

oh disney huge hugs and as everyone else has said please do talk to someone - can you find the person you get on best with whether that be GP, MW, health visitor...
You do have so much to cope with you are entitled to some support and allowed to feel down! Just please try and eat - if you haven't eaten for days this will make everything worse - I know when my blood sugar drops I get very emotional! Get your dh or daughter to cook you something or send them out for your favourite bits if you can't face a whole meal. Food and drink really will help!xxxx

Hi All - hugs to those still waiting.

EEC - sending you calming vibes and good luck.xx

Congrats SHROOMS - hope you are in good health now.

DISNEY - surely your GP is aware of the pressure you are unbder re your boys Crouzons, Sams problems and your Dhs heart attack? I would have thought that you would have been flagged up re potential PND with all you have been through. Likewise your MWs must know what pressure you are under so I would have thought that they would be offering you extra care and guidance as a matter of course. I would not feel ashamed or like a failure for admitting how you feel to your Gp or anyone else for that matter. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain - you would not feel silly if you needed to take a paracetamol for a headache or antibiotics - the brain is an organ that suffers from disease the same as the rest - go see your Gp and get some help to sort out the imblance whether it is through therapy or medication - the main thing is you get well for the sake of you and all your family.
xxxx

Hi all...it's hot tonight....I have fat feet and hands - in fact I think my finger tips have been numb all day - it makes typing "interesting". I spent the day cleaning the kitchen floor. It took ages...I even scrubbed the grout between the tiles. It wasn't nesting...it was guilt at the dirt.

Disney - this isn't anything that hasn't bee said before today but it's my four pennarth for what it's worth. One in four of us will get poorly in a mental health fashion at some point - the fact that you are asking for help is good, you recognise something isn't right. When something isn't right you fix it. Eat something....go for a walk and make a call to your mw/hv/doctor whoever you like the best and tell them how you feel. You are strong enough to do it and to get well again.

Ah well - I think I had a contraction earlier...it went away though and hasn't been back so I'm back to watching big brother and waiting.

disneystar
You know these feelings are normal just exasperated by everything in your life plus a new baby. You must try to eat something little and often even drink milk you need to keep your strength up and not eating and the low blood sugars that come with it make the low feelings worse

Please if you have not already talk to your Midwife or GP (and your DH) you are really high risk for PND because of everything going on in your life and talking can help get everything into perspective and makes everyone who needs to be aware you need some extra support. Trying to bottle it up and hide from it will only make it worse (take that from someone who suffers chronic depression) You would be amazes what pregnant and newly delivered women think sometimes one of my best friends kept dreaming she shut her daughter in a draw to stop her crying. Of course she never would but it really upset her until she actually started talking about it and told the midwife.

disneystar

Hun hang in there thinking of you.. Please ask for help.....

EEC
Best wishes with induction, i was induced with DD1 and DD2 and it was not all that bad. Hope it all goes well and will be thingking of you.

i had a showwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

what to do now, woooooooooohoooooooooooooooo!

Disney - the feelings you describe are clearly recognisable as depression - it can have physical symtoms too. I always get a crawling feeling over my scalp when I am suffering. Look - take a deep breath today and go to GP - if you get some meds it will help and the opportunity to talk to someone will make all the difference. There is nothing to be ashamed of as everyone else has been saying this very common and with all you have been through it's little wonder

Disney, I second everyone else's advice - a lot of wise words on here.

Congrats Shroom!

Mummy2bsoon - exciting!

Still nothing here. My due date today so am starting to get fed up. My parents are here, just waiting for the birth - Dad goes back to NZ next week so really want for him to meet his first grandchild before he goes. But I guess she will come when she is ready. But still no BH, no show, nothing. Blah. Having acupuncture today so maybe that will bring results - fingers crossed.

mummy2bsoon - hoorah!

minipink yes a crawling tingling tight feeling over tmy scalp a feeling of detachment nothin is real
like i said my dh came home which is hard for him to do in his job me daughter came round and cleaned the house they took me out for dinner i couldnt eat much and really didnt want to go but i did but threw up straight after eating i have no appetite what so ever if people let me id sit the all day staring and not moving
he came home after i told him i was going to get a rope and hang myself from the attic as i coudnt be here no more cos of the thoughts and everything that is scaring me,ok it sounds crazy but im hoping some of you will undertand this
im going to the docs today i hate being like this and cant shake it of i cant seem to have happy feelings they just gone and in its place is a terrible place to be im crying now writing this my hands are always shaking
my dh has to go back to work monday and im going to try to get back to normal god knows how right now but im usually a strong person ive always coped on my own i have no family at all,i grew up in care homes and lived on the streets in london for 5 years many many years ago i picked myself up went to uni in the end got a teaching degree and got my lovely dc,this is a set back thats all i have a feeling whats caused it but due to the nature of my problem as it involves samuel im not going to say as we have a lady here whos having a baby soon who has a problem at birth i cant inflict my thoughts over on this thread it wont help anyone
suffice to say i never expected to love sam so much i wanted to be a bit detached but i cant be which was a shock
you guys have been my lifeline for so long
thank you

disney, its fine to let ur thoughts out... i probably will be in ur position soon, and its scaring me thinking about it, but knowing sum1 else has problems and is dealin with them, and is sharin them is helpin me come to terms, please dont hold back due to the problems my baby has...

im terrified at the problems i have to face, and as u kwn i dnt even kwn the extent of the problems until my baby is born....

if u ever need to talk to me, maybe we cn help eachother...im here...

Disney - you say whatever you want on here - I will be happy to listen and help abd I'm sure everyone else will be too xx

The doc will probably give you meds - they will take a wee while to work but they will work but in the meantime just try to be good to yourself and take as much help as you can get!! Sending you a big hug and much love - you are a survivpr and you will get through this

Keep checking in to see if Pigleychez is back - wondering how she got on..

catec - my mum has been here 2 1/2 weeks, and has to leave today! No baby yet. It is unbelievably annoying1

disney - really glad you are going to the doctor. We are all thinking of you.

Also been wondering about Pigley - hope all went well for her.

Thinking of you too mummy2bsoon. Hope the show is the start for you...

I am due for induction tomorrow, so now natural birth looking unlikely. Today I am going to go for a long walk. Have just eaten one last dose of pineapple in a last ditched attempt! Other than that will repack my hospital bag for the 3rd time and play a game with DCs I think. DD is feeling very anxious. She was downstairs in tears at 10:30 last night worrying about something happening to me (due to all the childrens books and stories there are about orphans whose mothers have died in childbirth! - most recently the secret garden which was on telly this week!) I was very positive for her, but it wasn't particularly nice to be thinking about thast for me just before bed either!

Hi all, just checking in, wondering if there was any news from PIGLEY Obviously not...

DISNEY You need to get yourself to a doctor, I'm not surprised your feeling down, everything you've had to go through this last 10 months or so, it was bound to hit you sooner or later. Vent away on here if it helps but please get some medical advice, and soon!

Sending popping vibes to all you guys who are waiting with baited breath, I hope you all pop before August comes....... Just think positive thoughts!

Still no news from Pigley? Hope it all went ok?!

Disney, I can only repeat what everyone else has said. Hang in there, speak to health professional and talk to us, whatever helps!

Feeling fed up, and the more I think about it the more I am convinced this is going to drag on into August for me. Not due until next Thursday, and had nothing apart from the odd BH which fade into nothingness as soon as I lie down! As soon as my mum gets here (Sunday) I am doing everything. Except the naughty stuff with DH coz he point blank refuses don't know whether that is a reflection on me or what?! But am feeling hot, fat and useless and want her out...NOW! But I know she is only going to make her entrance when SHE is ready!!! SPD is sheer agony now that her head is engaged, and I feel so uncomfortable and miserable!

Really lonely at home as everyone I know is at work, and even if they weren't I don't actually think I would want anyone here as that would intrude upon me lounging around in tracksuit bottoms/knickers and a vest! Plus next door are having an extension done so are constantly going accross our back garden. Yesterday the scaffolders left all their stuff on our patio and set up their radio in our garden....it is so invasive but DH just doesn't get it. Makes me feel really uncomfortable when I waddle out to the kitchen in my pants and vest and there is a builder in the garden!!! Just don't want to rock the boat by saying anything as we actually get on ok with our neighbours, and I want the extension done asap before LO arrives! (Not that that is EVER going to happen!) Just think I am being grumpy and hormonal!!

Sorry to hear you're feeling down Disney, I hope you manage to speak to a professional and get some help.

I keep meaning to tell my birth story since I'd like to get it off my chest a bit. We went into hospital on Sunday 13th July because I hadn't felt Meda move for a while. As soon as they put on the monitoring equipment she started to kick it off but my BP was high. After monitoring us both for a while, they decided to induce because of the BP. They gave me one pessary at midnight, sent DH home, and then woke me up at 6am to give me another pessary. Contractions started around 10am, and I was moved into the labour ward at about 1pm. They broke my waters for me and let me off the monitoring equipment so I could move around. Unfortunately, the waters were green so I had to be strapped down again in case the baby was in distress. They also put me on syntocin. Contractions started to get very painful, although I was managing them with TENS and entonox. Around 7pm or so, the contractions were becoming unbearable and I was starting to black out between them (mostly because of the entonox I think). The doctor came in and told me I needed to have an epidural because the syntocin was making contractions so painful and I wasn't at all dilated. The epidural was a godsend and kept me sane throughout the night, along with my very fab MW. By 4am, I was 5cm dilated finally and contractions were starting to break through the epidural. Eventually they examined me to say that I was fully dilated at 8am. Around about 9am, I wanted to push so got on with it, and Meda was born at 9.09am. The placenta followed very quickly.

Fast second stage left me with a third degree tear to the perineum, two tears up the side and a labial graze so I had to have a spinal block and surgery to get repaired. All the support on the labour ward, including the surgical team, was great.

Post-natal care was absolutely appalling. I was left in blood soaked sheets all night (bed bound because of catheter and anaesthetic) and unable to do much baby care. DH had been sent home so it was a horrible night, with no breastfeeding support at all.

We were due to go to the local unit the next day and got discharged - car packed and everything, only for the MWs to suddenly refuse and tell me that the unit didn't want me because I wasn't breastfeeding properly (we were going to the unit for breastfeeding support ). I got pretty depressed because another night in the hospital was awful. No sleep at all, and zero support. I developed bedsores from not being able to move for so long and it took ages to even get painkillers. We went home the next day, still struggling with breastfeeding and eventually called the unit for support. They told us that they had never said they didn't want me and were just told that I didn't want to go so God knows what the hospital were playing at. The unit has been fantastic since, and I was readmitted yesterday for a night to help with the breastfeeding. She's still not latching on but she's getting there and the expressing is fine for top-ups in the meantime.

Phew! Sorry for the long post, but just wanted to talk my way through it.

Good luck to everyone who's still waiting - sending positive labour vibes.

Looking forward to hearing from Pigley!