Due December 08 - time to start blooming and glowing.

[JamInMyWellies]

New thread lovely ladies

Beans Good on you for at least planning to have a go.

i was a bit the same as you i knew i wanted to give it a try but was so not sure, i had always found the mums put me off cos i found it yucky to watch them feed or express. i didnt even go to the BF workshop that was part of my NCT class, but in the end i absolutely loved it, and was lucky to have a very quick and good feeder (i think 70% of success is them anyway we just tag along). I ended up feeding DS until just shy of 24months. I know it may seem weird to feed for so long but bottle fed babies are often still having followon formulas then so i don't think it is so unusual. It is really helpful later on if they get ill cos although they will go off food and drink they will always want boobie cos it comforts them and they get a bit of hydration.

In the end it is up to you and if it all goes well or doesn't at least giving it a go is great. Also know that there is lots of support around (and not always from midwives) so if you feel you need it just get in touch with friends who have BF or with a BFing helper or counsellor.

Know the coffee chat was a little way back on the thread but I can't keep up with you chatty girls!! I read about a study which said both coffee and decaf coffee led to the same extra risk of misscarriage in the first 12 weeks, so I cut them out completely but I am now having the odd cup. Wouldn't go to a posh coffee shop though as they are alot stronger than the instant rubbish I make at home.

I've gained 7lbs so far which I am reasonably happy with. i think it's from now on that the lbs are supposed to pile on, at a rate of roughly 1 per week if you are the right weight to start with. I don't think there is anything wrong with keeping an eye on weight gain as long as you don't suddenly try to diet to stop the enevitable.

Did anyone see the "biggest babies in Britain" program a few weeks back, very scary to see the effects of massive weight gain and unhealthy eating on what should be wee new borns but look more like toddlers, yuck.

Beans to be honest, the younger they are the easier they are to travel with. Yes, you'll need to take alot of kit with you, but at 1 month he/she will still be sleeping most of the time, so if you plan travelling around feeding time it might actually be quite easy. It's when they start crawling/ walking that it becomes a nightmare to go anywhere!
Re breastfeeding. I am the same, really struggled with DS1 and only managed about six weeks but have every intention of trying again for this one. However, do not let the MW's make you feel like a rubbish mother if you can't/ don't want to do it. I spent weeks in tears when my MW told me off for topping up with a bottle and then giving up completely. I think they have certain targets to meet which is why they can be very dismissive of people who don't take to breastfeeding, rather than giving the support that every new Mum needs.

Artichokes, if you're still on - thinking of you at 2.30! I'm actually at 4 not 4.30 so won't be far behind you. Bring your pics tomorrow night?

Veggie and Jenduck, I used to be reasonably svelte but at 21+2 I have put on a good 8 kilos. I have actually stopped measuring myself in pounds and stones as it's too horrifying. But 8 kg must be about 18 pounds! And I have been going to the gym! Don't let these people diss you, honestly. Morons. Plenty of time to diet after the birth. That said, I am hoping not to put on more than another 6 or 7 kilos for the rest of my pregnancy..

Beans, please please please don't beat yourself up if grosses you out. Mine is going to be getting a week's worth tops(assuming I can after the cs) and I know bf is better, but I was bottlefed and I have straight teeth and am reasonably brainy, so don't really have a hang up over it and feel strongly it's up to the individual concerned. Was talking to a friend of mine at the w/e who is a GP and she didn't want to breastfeed, and the lady at her NCT class wouldn't tell her how to use formula or give her any tips, on principle

Doozie, I think it depends how comfortable you are with your relatives. If they don't need looking after, and you don't mind recovering and getting used to everything before their very eyes, it might be ok.

Waiting, I can't feel kicking as such - it's a sort of fluttery, wriggly feeling. I can't feel a thing outwardly, though, if I put my hand on my tummy though, nor my DP. I'm sure it will come xx

Thanks Effie. Must say, that really helps. We're hiring a maternity nurse for a few days (very spoilt, but my confidence is already higher as a result - and I've saved up for it!) and I spoke to her about it and she said to give it a go, but if I am really distressed about it, the baby will sense it and may not feed anyway, so if I really don't feel I can, then no pressure. Must say it helped. I think I'm pressurising myself to do it, more than anyone else doing it!

What's everyone's thoughts on epidurals/gas and air and drugs etc?

I'm hoping to do a water birth, but am keen to have epidural on standby if I'm in too much pain!

icecube did i see that you are also having a home birth. Do you have an independant midwife or are you on the NHS?

I have officially started back on full strength coffee again today and oh it feels so gooooood, i am starting to have a slight feel of what it must be like to be a drug addict.

How are all those of you who are doing your Davina DVDs etc. I still havent taken my Erin Obrien out of the wrapper but i think tomorrow might be the day. I'm really starting to get my energy back, though could be the coffee. I think i need to get back into swimming more regularly too.

DS and i are going for a walk into town to get a new paddling pool this afternoon. We actually have one from last year but it is in teh shape of a massive pirate ship and takes up half the backyard and takes way too long to inflate.

Gosh, you're all so kind - thank you! I really hope I can BF, but if not, I know it's not the end of the world. Plus if you sit in a room with a load of random people, it's impossible to tell who was BFed and who was formula, so don't think it can make that much difference.

thank you all! I have heard hideous midwife stories about berating you for not breastfeeding. But I know it's up to me and will ultimately do what feels right - best for the bambino if you're not stressing and probably wouldn't get enough milk if I was too worried.

My link doesn't update that quickly, so get a lot of messages AFTER I've put my posts on. But honestly, I'm really overwhelmed by how supportive everyone is. Means a lot!

gas & air gas & air gas & air gas & air gas & air. I love that stuff, it doesn't really take any pain away but it feels soooooooo good. I only used it during the 1st stage though as i found i need to concentrate a bit more on the 2nd stage. I didnt use anything else but that was just me i had a long but good 2nd stage so didnt feel i needed any thing and as i was in a birth center would have had to leave and go to georges next door if i wanted an epidural. My MW's were great too they have a policy that they don't ask or suggest having any pain relief i had to ask for it. It's your pregnancy not anyone elses so do what you want. Only thing with the epidural is it limits movement. I found i got a lot of relief from being able to move around a lot. Oh and TENS machines are good. Also this may sound a bit hippy but learning some good deep breathing techniques can be a helpful. But again labour is a really individual thing and i had a relatively easy and low pain one.

Thanks Veggie - i will see how it goes. After my sister did 47 hours of pushing and had epidural, I'm not anti them at all! Might see if thomas's does those epidurals where you can move around. But will try to do it without one for as long as possible. I'm not good with pain. A bit of a wetty!

am doing yoga classes, so hopefully the breathing there will help. Find them very relaxing and good to meet other up the duffers who live nearby!

i'm a bit of a BFing glorifier but i have a friend who BF because she though she should but hated every minute of it (which is a lot of minutes) she persisted for nearly 3months which while it's admirable i think it effected her bonding a bit, as a considerable part of her time with her baby was unpleasant to her. So not much point to that. On the other hand if you do enjoy it it can be very satisfying. i gives you a much needed self esteem boost when it feels that your not doing much else with your days.

Thanks everyone for your kind words, you've all made me feel a lot better! Logically, I know I've not put on too much, as I walk 2-4 miles each day & do aquanatal once a week, and I'm not 'eating for two', just having a few extra snacks when I need it. I also know that my body is growing for the right reasons, and that this woman is probably jealous & bitter, but I just have moments when it gets too much! I blame it on the hormones

On a brighter note, I now have my buggy sorted! DH came home from work the other night saying that he had been asked to clear a set from a TV show they'd been filming, & they were going to throw out this brand new buggy, which had just been sitting there as a prop! Well, he thinks it was pushed down the street once with a doll inside it! So he asked if he could take it home & they said yes. He also got a pink puschair in similar condition (can't remember the make, but similar type to McLaren), but obviously won't know if we can use that as not finding out sex of baby. It is a Graco Aerosport Plus which seem to be retailing for around £170! Am very pleased with that. However, there was also a lifesize Ronald McDonald which he failed to pick up...

I must say I have been feeling movements for about 3 weeks now, but wasn't sure that that was what I was feeling (iykwim) until my scan yesterday when I said I thought the baby was probably just next to my belly-button (& pointed) & she scanned & hey presto, there were the tiny feet! Very reassuring. I have been feeling kicks rather than butterfly movements, apparently baby likes to use the placenta as a cushion!

Not sorted Xmas yet but said to both sets of parents that we're not sure how much we'll be able to do & everyone very easy come easy go about it, so that's good.

Beans, glad you are feeling better again. Must have been your body's way of telling you it needed an afternoon off!

Ebans: I am a complete wuss and managed to have DS with TENS and nothing else (mind you I'd have latched on to the G&A is it has been offered, but everything was a bit quick). My sister had an epidural with her first and hated in (was induced and not really given a choice) but that was before the mobile one was introduced. I'd say work your way up: you might be surprised at what you need at the time. My list goes: TENS (early labour), G&A, pethidine/epidural if needed

Beans if you come across a Midwife in your clinics called Natalie have a good natter with her about it she's great. Not as condescending as other madwives i mean midwives can be. She only does home births so won't be at you labour but she does the clinics for everyone i think.

also nothing prepares you for what the labour is going to be like apart from the discomfort, you have absolutely no idea of what your supposed to be doing what it should feel like or how long it will take. have a loose birth plane chat to as many people who will give you good information (avoid scaremongers) and get information on what is involved with any intervention. Try not to be scared by anything (not easy). I was dead scared of needing intervention and i think that may have slowed things for me, as when my midwife told me the most i was gonna need was an episiotomy i relaxed and DS popped out 10mins later (without needing an episiotomy). And remember how ever it comes out the result is the same a baby, hurray.

Interesting to hear about not being able to move so much with an epidural - as I'm a fidgeter, and more so when I'm uncomfortable, I'm guessing I'll be wanting an active birth! My issue with epidural is the big needle in the back, I'm funny about needles and think I'd prefer to deal with the pain! (saying that, I don't know how much pain I'll be in yet). Anyone else feeling like that, or am I odd?

Z.x

Turnip that comment is pure genius!!!!!

Don't rule anything out on the pain relief front. I did tens (useless), gas and air (made my breath smell according to DH - couldn't understand why he handed me my toothbrush in between every gulp!) Then nothing at all, whch was when I started throwing up from the pain, so eventually was given Epidural and was in heaven. Every labour story is different, but after 40 hours and an 11lb 5oz baby I couldn't care less that I couldn't move around, in fact it was bliss not feeling anything, so just see how you go.

wow Katie well done for getting it out naturally.

right off to get a pool.

11lb 5oz??? Hats off to Katie.

I had a ruptured ovarian cyst in April (it hurts a lot) and they gave me gas and air whilst I was waiting for the ambulance. It didn't help with the pain and when I threw up it gave me bright red sick, BUT I know many people who love it and swear by it. Hmm, shame you can't have a dress rehearsal for the big event!

Crikey - that's a big old baby, Katie! Well done! I think I'd have an epidural for one that size!

I also hate the thought of an episiotomy as well - apparently natural tearing is less painful! Anyone know the truth?

mmmm, double decker...

I had an episiotomy and demanded a local anaesthetic (esp as I wasn't on teh G&A , grrr). Also demanded more anaesthetic for the stitches, the doctor said 'most women find the G&A helps here too' and I barked 'WHAT G&A?'. 2nd stage was less than an hour and involved monitoring and faffs over DS's hb, hence the confusion. So I'd say latch on to it soonish but you don;t know how quick the labour is going to be - I fully expected it to go on for a lot longer but DS had other ideas

With ds I didn't have any pain relief at all, but I did have an episiotomy. Don't know how it compares with natural tearing but it is about the same as a 2nd degree tear. I did find it uncomfortable to sit afterwards for a couple of weeks!

Best thing is to have a general idea of what you want in labour including pain relief but once you past a certain point, you won't be able to have an epidural as it can slow down the labour. Also stay at home as long as possible, labour is likely to progress quicker if you're in your own environment, comfortable etc and if you go in too early, mws are likely to send you home again!

I'm planning on bf this time, I really struggled last time with ds and by 2 weeks he was fully ff. I honestly believe I was set up to fail from the beginning by the bullish pn mw I had and some of the ridiculous things she was saying!