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Original poster

Expats carrying future dual citizens!

145 replies

PrePG · 26/02/2008 13:12

I've noticed that there are lots of us on here who are not originally from the UK - I wondered if anyone was interested in starting an expat thread.

For me, it's especially difficult to go through this without my family close by and I thought it might be comforting to 'talk' with others in the same situation.

Anyone else??

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JFly · 29/02/2008 09:56

Yep and yep.

American married to Brit for 5 years expecting first baby in -gasp- one week!

Funny this thread should come up as my DH has been bugging me to get my British citizenship. I was just on the IND (oops, not called that anymore) website looking at the process. Typical UK red tape nonsense!

I've been away from my family long enough that I suppose I'm used to not seeing them that regularly, but it can be tough to go through pg (especially as it's my first) without that support. Parents don't live in US anymore, so their visits are few and far between anyway. I try to get home at least once a year, though. And most of family (I have 4 sisters) will come to UK this summer to meet baby.

Having no relatives in the area, I've hired a doula for after the baby. DH's mum died in July, so I don't even have MIL. I think it will be great to have at least some practical support in the weeks following birth. Will be an emotional time, though!

Great to have this thread! Will try to keep up with all the little future dual citizens!

ladyhump · 01/03/2008 16:47

I have a question for all the Americans here. WIll you be having a baby shower for your baby if this is your first? I don't know if I will be as I don't have anyone to throw it (I think people here assume that you throw your own).

Is anyone in the same boat? Will you be having a shower? Who's throwing it? I don't know what to do, but I do want one!, Even if it is just a barbecue type deal for all friends to come over before baby comes.

Parofleurmapu · 01/03/2008 17:47

Hi im British living in Gran Canaria and due in June. Partner is dutch. Baby will have dual nationality. British/dutch.

LeonieD · 01/03/2008 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

e14mum · 02/03/2008 15:41

One of my (British) girlfriends threw me a shower recently. It was, of course, modified (like my hen party/bridal shower!) but it was fun all the same.
Hi JFly- we're almost there!

ladyhump · 02/03/2008 19:54

Leonie- Yeah, that's the problem. My SIL and MIL both said when I first told them I was pregnant that they would throw me a shower, but they haven't brought it up again. I feel rude bringing it up to them. I've asked some British friends what they think of baby showers, and they all ask if I'm going to throw one. I told them that you don't throw your own, but they still seem to think I should. haha. Maybe they're a bit slow. Just kidding!!! I'm still mulling it over as to what I should do.

musicgirl · 02/03/2008 20:33

I'm an Aussie living in Aberdeen, pregnant with my first. I'm a bit disappointed that I'm not going to get the baby showers and fussing over me from friends and family.

Also depressed that I'm going to be stuck inside for the first 4 months because of the lousy weather and long winter nights.

aberdeenhiker · 03/03/2008 09:26

I didn't get a baby shower with DS and I do feel a bit cheated! My mum and her friends all got together and had a party and sent me stuff but it wasn't the same.

Musicgirl - when are you due? I'm due in June and I'm a CDN living in Aberdeen. I have to admit to timing this baby to take advantage of the better weather and more light!

Original poster
PrePG · 03/03/2008 10:48

Hi all!

I'm pretty sure my mom will do a baby shower for me at home and then stuff will come over in trickles with me and them when they come to visit and then by mail. We plan on moving back to the US shortly anyway, so I'm not going to worry too much about a crib and furniture.

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gimmeapeanut · 03/03/2008 11:23

hi everyone-- i'd love to have a baby shower here as well. i do hope my british friends throw me one, as it would feel a bit strange to do it for myself: "come to a party for MEEEE!!!!"

i'll be heading back to the states for a few weeks this summer, when i'm around 6 mos pg, and hopefully my friends and family will arrange some kind of gathering then. ladyhump, i'd love to have a bbq back home or something casual as well. i don't really care about the gifts (couldn't bring really big things back w/ me on the plane anyway), i just want to see everyone i love and celebrate a happy occasion...

gimmeapeanut--previously mommymummytobe xoxo

JFly · 03/03/2008 11:39

e14, howdy do! I thought you may venture over here.

Nope, no shower for me. Would have been nice, but I guess I've been here long enough to know not to expect one. I thought maybe my sisters would have organised something "virtual" but alas, they were not that on the ball. Although, I suppose with not knowing what I'm having and the expense of shipping stuff over, they may just want to wait until the baby is born/they visit.

Funnily, one of my NCT friends (British) had a shower/tea thrown for her by her British friends. So maybe idea is catching on?? Although plenty of people are still very superstitious about such things....

Original poster
PrePG · 03/03/2008 13:09

We're going to New York on Thursday for a long weekend! So excited! My parents already know but have asked them to keep it a secret from the rest of the family as we'd like to tell them all in person. As a result they've been telling random people because they have to tell someone! - about 5 people my mother works with, the hairdresser, the accountant and who knows who all else knows but my grandmother doesn't! Ah well, will all be rectified by Friday!

Our scan is on 20 March and DH and I have both taken the day off - will be nice to return from New York and only have 8 days before the scan and then the long Easter weekend to let the news soak in afterward!!!

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gimmeapeanut · 03/03/2008 13:55

have a great time in nyc PrePg!!! have a slice of pizza (pref from the w. village) for me while you're there!

Original poster
PrePG · 03/03/2008 13:57

Thanks gimmeapeanut Unfortunately, most likely not going to be in NYC this time. Too short a trip. My family is on Long Island - still the pizza is very good out there too! As are the italian heroes and the greek food, and the chinese food and the seafood! sigh I eat my way through every time I go!

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gimmeapeanut · 03/03/2008 14:04

prepg, i know what you meanyou can't help itthere's so much to enjoy!!!

except for now w/ my pg cravings, i don't miss food from home so much while i'm living here, but as soon as my feet hit east coast soil, i'm all, "where's my mushroom cheesesteak?" (i grew up in s. jersey, outside of philly). i really do have pizza on the brain right now. i'll stop now before i drool and short out my laptop

musicgirl · 03/03/2008 17:13

Aberdeenhiker - I'm due at the end of October.

e14mum · 03/03/2008 17:15

Ok expats- quick poll about baby showers. My (British)SIL and her friends hold these "showers" for EVERY baby- not just the first one. That's just not right, is it? Or have I got it wrong?

Oh, so envious of anyone going home soon- baby and I are hopefully going to travel in late summer/early fall. I'd love to be home for Cdn Thanksgiving this year, but we'll have to see how things go!

aberdeenhiker · 04/03/2008 08:26

I've only ever heard of showers for the first baby. I thought the idea was that you could reuse everything for the second (and we definitely plan to!).

I'm not going home until October, when the LO will be 4+ months old. I honestly can't imagine doing the trip with a toddler and a younger baby. And at least it's a direct flight for us (Glasgow- Toronto), I feel bad for everyone who's got connections!

Original poster
PrePG · 04/03/2008 11:06

I would only ever have a shower for a first baby, although some people have 'sprinkles'- just smaller showers - for a second if there's a large gap between babies.

aberdeenhiker October is such a lovely time to go home I think - the height of fall is so beautiful - it'll be worth the wait!

When is a reasonable time to travel with a baby? I'm due the beginning of October and I know my family will all be anxious to see the LO - I don't know if we should try to go before Christmas or if that's too early and we should wait until New Year?

So, last night my mother calls me and my younger brother and SIL are expecting again! This will be their third. And she's due three weeks after me! I can't help but be slightly disappointed. DH and I waited a while before TTCing and we waited to tell everyone we were expecting because we wanted to tell them in person and now I'm sure we're both going to be revealing the same weekend! I know it's incredibly selfish, but I was really looking forward to it being my turn. On the other hand, I know it will be fun to be PG at the same time as my SIL but I'm a little worried about how my parents are going to handle being in the UK for our baby's birth and then in the US for theirs. I know these things don't go according to plan but I really would hate for them to miss ours, and then for my brother's sake, I'd hate for them to miss theirs!!!

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Mum2b2BabyRoo · 04/03/2008 14:39

Well I thought it was just for the 1st one as well but I have been to several for the 2nd one lately... any excuse I suppose!

musicgirl · 04/03/2008 16:15

In Australia baby showers are usually only held for the first one unless there is a big gap. But I don't think anyone would mind if you had one for every baby. I've been to heaps and it's great fun shopping for presents.

ladyhump · 04/03/2008 20:33

I thought it was just for the first as well, but then a smaller one if there was a long gap. That means that if we don't get one now for our first, we won't get one even if we move back to the US b/c it will be our 2nd. Darn

I know what you all mean about eating your way through your trip home. I start obsessing about the food I miss about 3 weeks before I get there, and I always come back about 5 lbs heavier! In n' Out, Mexican food, good Italian, diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper.... I stuff as much as I can in my suitcase as well for when I get back.

We're planning on travelling with the baby when she is about 4 months back to the states. I've heard that the younger the baby, the easier it is. Just make sure you leave enough time to get the little one a passport.

Original poster
PrePG · 05/03/2008 10:40

Thanks, Ladyhump, I was wondering how long it would take us to get a passport - I heard that making the appointment with the embassy could take a while.

I'm sure if your family knew that you didn't have a shower in the UK with your first, they'd throw you one for your second! I know my mother would

PSA: Virgin is having a miles sale - I checked yesterday and I could fly on miles in August! very exciting to get to go for free in the summer! I just need to make sure I cuold still fly at that time. WE have excellent travel insurance through our credit card, so hopefully it won't be a problem.

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Original poster
PrePG · 12/03/2008 13:41

Just to let anyone who is headed to the States know - I got a few maternity items when I was home this weekend. A pair of jeans from Motherhood that were about $25 and a pair of cargo pants that were about $20. Both are super comfy and even cute! I also got a couple of tops from Banana Republic - they're not maternity but a couple are empire waisted so they should see me through the second trimester. I bought a bigger size for the length more than anything else.

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yuls · 13/03/2008 17:24

hello. i am russian with 2 passports- russian and british. my husband also has two passports- british and south african.
i have been living in london for the past 12 years. baby is due in october
ps great thread idea!