I had an em. section 1st time, despite strong wishes for nat. birth (baby undiagnosed breech). 2nd time, had natural birth (no pain killers at all, but tore v. badly), 3rd time I was positive, I thought 2nd time was just unlucky. I had my water birth, well, pool, but birth was really horrific, baby distressed, tore even worse, ruptured vagina, complete mess downstairs and took seriousl months to recover (almost a year), unable to sit down for weeks. I swore then I'd never do that again.
I am really worried my undercarriage has already been damaged so much, and as I've torn v. badly both times, this time would be just as bad if not worse. Plus (and it is a consideration no matter how stupid anyone esle thinks,) I'm all alone here, dh is in another country. At least with c-section I can be sure my undercarriage will remain intact and that my husband will be here?mum here to look after my other 3 sons.
2nd pg ds nearly 2 weeks early, so people organised to come still in UK & had to rely on neighbour we didn't really like/trust to look after ds1. and it was very quick, so if this time also same speed, dh would not have chance to get here.
with ds3, he was 4 or 5 days late, so people organised to come had been and gone before he finally made an appearance, so again, was real problem ensuring ds1 & 2 cared for.
this time, I wouldn't even have dh with me, and with mil dead and sil with baby, my options for help are all but gone (only my mum).
But read loads recently saying how terrible section is, sex painful for months after etc etc. and it's got me questioning myself. Unsure etc etc. the birth itself, even with no pain releif, OK, not a barrel of laughs, but ok and manageable. It's the tearing and damage and months of pain after I need to avoid.
PS 1st timers, I've clearly got an unlucky and useless undercarriage. Don't take my tearing stories as being likely to happen to you. Most women give birth in 1 piece and come out of it relatively unscathed