Due in June and entering the home stretch - keep the creme eggs rolling!

[makecakesnotwar]

And the Revels, the Greek Yogurt and the curly fries....

After my last 3 experiences, there's no way I would risk a HB, unfortunately, as it sounds wonderful. 2 of the 3 births were really emergency situations, and needed hospital treatmentt, and the 2 bvacs both required huge amount of stiches. that's a definite no no. Plus, I will stay in hospital for about a week regardless of delivery method.

I'm unsure about recovery. I didn't feel very mobile after last birth and was completely unable to sit down for a long time.

But it's the long ter, unknown, unforseeable damage that scares me. Each birth has been worse than the last. At least with c-section I know what the injury is going to be iyswim. But a small part of me wonders if it would be OK this time?

But then the thought of going into labour and being all alone with 3 kids is really genuinely scary.

hi all -been a while since posted as been away (had lovely week lazing while dh skiied). Actually had really nice week just lazing as gave me time to eat loads and enjoy baby kicks whilst knitting. Well enjoyed most of it but getting to slightly breathless stage at time and really starting to get quite a bump so stairs becoming less of a joy.

DM - interesting to hear about your hypnobirthing class -I'm going to first class on saturday.

And can I ask some of the non first time mums out there about pushchair/pram advice. DH and I started looking and want something light/easy to shift (we've got steps to the house and I'm rubbish with anything to hard to collapse). Been looking at mcclarens (had a look at some of the mamas and papas but they seemed a bit bulky and hard to deal with ).

All help/tips much appreciated...

Needing the smelling salts now after popping back in and reading about triangle shaped bumps! Is splitting stomach muscles just down to luck of the draw or do any other factors affect it?

• enjoy your bugaboo; I'm having one too. Sssshhhhh. What type you having?

I cant believe how much thought everyone put into birth stuff - I'm assuming that I might start giving it some thought when the NCT classes start later this month...

In the meantime, if anyone comes accross any pale lemon curtains and rug can they let me know?

Evening all. Interesting you're all on the HB topic. Today I agreed to buy my friend's pool (try www.birthpoolinabox.co.uk for a cheap one) and bought a book on hypnobirthing.

I've also cancelled the doula as DH is confident he will be fine and we can ask BF to come round if he gets panicky. But plan is...

Birth in bedroom with pool in the corner and low lighting (plus lamp for mw to examine etc). Deep relaxation as much as possible and keep mobile until pushing. Deliver standing/ squatting if possible.

Obviously things do go wrong - have had a couple of friends have emergency sections in the last couple of years, but only one in ten HBs transfer to hospital so am just going to keep an open mind and think positive.

And obviously it's not for everyone, but none of my friends have been surprised I want to have a go - is pretty in keeping with my general way of doing things!

Ernest - I'm also quite scared about going into labour with 3 children to look after. I've been induced twice (once at 41 weeks, once at 38) so spontaneous labour isn't something I feel very confident about. DH can't blank out his diary for weeks on end so we have to take a gamble on dates. He has a 4-day trial starting around my due date!

I'm also worried about my undercarriage (how coy ) and am worried about another delivery making it even worse than it is at the moment. That's the main reason I'm looking into hypnobirthing and a doula - if I can stay relaxed and maybe even breathe, rather than push, the baby out, then I reckon I have a better chance of getting through the delivery relatively intact.

I can see how difficult the decision must be for you. It's all very well getting through the adrenaline-packed event that is childbirth, but the thought of being left with a damaged body is really really scary. And "undercarriage" problems are so distressing and unpleasant.

DS2 has just been singing to my belly - so sweet!

olf, yes, with 3 and undercarriage concerns too, glad you understand Going by ds2 experience (4 hours start to finish) dh wouldn't get back in time at all. Like you say, it's the fear of the aftermath, not the birth itself. ds2 had shoulder distocia, was stuck, and they were coming at me with the forceps, so monumental pushing and i tore badly as a result. Ds3 was also stuck and in distress, and they also started waving forceps in my fanjo's direction, so another hasty exit and more vigorous pushing/tearing.

with the best will in the world, I don't think any amount of breathing or cds would've altered thta. I mean, I went into both (well, all 3 births) feeling confident, competant, positive etc, but it went tits up.

What are your plans Rolf? You used a doula before? You want one case dh can't get there or as well as?

Just reading through a couple of posts, have been working like crazy for the last few days.

Ernest, I personally would have an elective C section given all the unknowns you have. At least you could predict when yuo need the help as well.

Ernest I don't blame you for going for the elective CS in your situation.

I'm afraid I don't know much about hypnobirthing, I'd like a water birth in hospital if possible.

I've been asking about the thermal spas again today and apparently the heat of the water increases the bacteria and that's why there's increased risk of infection. But my friend told me about swimming tampons that you wear when pregnant and swimming in normal pools, she also mentioned yoghurt but I'm not sure about that I'll have to look in the shops at these special tampons!!She did say that I could swim in the local pool though - we have an open air pool over the road and it's great but VERY cold.

No, I haven't used a doula before. Generally in labour I've managed fine until near the end and then I panic. I can't even remember how strong an urge to push I had - all I remember is having people yelling at me to puuuuuuuuush and feeling under pressure to get on with it. I really do think that if I was left alone and somehow able to relax then my body would just get on with things.

DH and I aren't assertive at all when having babies, although we are otherwise quite bolshy. So my hope is that if I can talk all these things through with a doula she can be assertive for me. It will also take some of the pressure off with regards to DH being there, childcare etc. We both very much hope that he'll be there, but will feel calmer if we at least know that I won't be alone if he can't be there.

I don't think I'm quite brave enough for a home birth. I'd need to hang on for blood count and GBS results before I felt safe to plan for a hb, and I know that I'd get uptight about the uncertainty. I don't think I'd get the chance to rest afterwards either - my DH is lovely but pretty hopeless like that.

I haven't thought about asking for a section, although because of my dodgy obstetric history I've got to know my consultant quite well and they are very gentle with me at the hospital. I don't think I want to go that route - my deliveries weren't anything like as difficult as yours, from the sound of it. For me too, whilst a section would save me from tearing etc, most other pelvic floor trauma is caused by the pregnancy as much as the delivery so I'm already f*ed from that point of view

From what I have read about hypnobirthing, it's very good for people who would otherwise be fearful about labour. It helps with any sort of delivery, apparently - including planned sections. I agree that complications like shoulder dystocia are going to increase the risk of tearing and I can see how you would be anxious to avoid a situation like that.

Dunno what's the best thing to do. None of the options are 100% certain and rosy, are they?

Morning all-

what a way to start the day. Sod all sleep, the next door neighbours are putting up scaffolding (could they not have had the courtesy to let us know our conservatory would be overlooked for the next three months?)and the dog has crapped twice on the floor. Is it too late to go back to bed and start the day again? Is it normal to feel so grouchy???

Oh Makecakes - what a start to the day - and yes it's normal to feel grouchy - I had a very grouchy day yesterday.
You'd think the neighbours might have mentioned the scaffolding, but if it's for the next 3 months it should be gone by June so you'll be able to sit in your conservatory in privacy with your baby.

ernest - after your experiences I'm pretty sure I'd be getting an elective section. And as you say, because your DH isn't there, it's more important to be able to schedule things too. (But I'd get the section just because of the tearing).

Glad I'm not the only one with a triangle shaped bump! I don't think it's anything splitting or tearing - I think it's just the muscles are stretching in the middle. It's only a triangle when I'm using my abs (which I try to avoid).

The hypnotherapy classes sound interesting - too bad there's nothing like that up in Aberdeen. I'd still recommend the NCT ones though as we made such good friends from the class and it was really important to me to have women to hang out with when I was at home with a new baby. It was a great supportive group!

All the homebirth stuff is great but not for me. I actually feel calm in the hospital, I like knowing that all the equipment is there if needed and it doesn't make me uncomfortable. However, I would love to avoid the epidural this time (even though I probably wont) just so I can get home 6 hours after the birth! We should have my MIL here to help with my DS so I think I'd get more rest in my own bed. (Am buying a waterproof sheet and taking off all my nice bedding though as soon as I hit 37 weeks).

makecakesnotwar - ugg! hope the day improves. We're struggling with neighbour issues too (it's recently become a rental and there's a minimum of 5 adults living in a 2 bedroom house - in clear violation of housing rules) and I really just want to move. I think if I wasn't pregnant we'd be putting the house up for sale, but the timing right now means we need to stick things out.

My neighbours are causing problems as well, bleat, grunt, bleat, grunt but she has a beautiful lamb now which she is very proud off

lol Sophie. And what a rubbish start to your day, Makecakes. How rude of your neighbours. Most people on our road are really nice. The two that aren't we (charitably!) call Asbo Boy and The Proceeds of Crimers

sophie - I so with I could trade with you! We've been taking DS to see all the new lambs and they're just so cute.

morning all. was up till far too lae reading about c-sections etc. I'd decided right after birth with ds3, I think it's just cold feet/worrying I've made the right decision / reading loads of neg. section comments on mn / getting whistful and a bit jealous of all the wonderful sounding hypno hb stories here. But deep down I know I went into 3 births with the best frame of mind and for me it just didn't happen, so you've all calmed me down again, ta. WIll now read as many psoitive section stories as I can/avoid birth stories altogether

OMG last night, so I finally went to bed at 11.30, and light out midnight, which is stupid anyway. Got woken up by banging noise downstairs, went down to see, couldn't see anything, back to bed. 4 am there it is again, really loud banging. I thought for a moment we had intruders, but bravely had to go down to investigate. Rational head kicked in - burglar v. unlikely adn no one's stupid enough to be that noisy, right? After uch investugation - a neighbours cat had got in, I'd forgotten to lock both sides of the cat flap - evenings I lock it so ours can get back in, but not out, as she stays in at night, but after she was in I'd forgotten to lock the other direction, so anyway,neighbours cat had got in but couldn't get back out and was head banging / charging / trying to very loudly smmash it's way out of our house. It must've hid 1st time I came down, so am KNACKERED. And it's all my fault.

And now ds1 & 3 are both ill. And I need to go shopping arrgghh! Am wondering if it's the eye drops, they seem to have been out of sorts since they got them, and ds2 fine. Is that irrational?

Hi ernest - I had what was classed as an emergency section with DD, it was an emergency only because it wasn't planned, the Docs made a decision that they could keep inducing( had been induced 12 hours earlier and nothing happened) and I would end up with very distressed baby and emergency section or have a section without all the panic, and it was really positive, they made the decision at 9.30am and due to a couple of emergencies which the anaesthetist (sp) was needed for ( it was a Saturday and he was covering childrens ward and maternity) I was wheeled into theatre at 4pm. everyone was so calm, there were a fair few people ion there and I was intoduced to each one, asked what I wanted to listen to on the radio, DD was delivered at 4.41, weighed etc and then skin to skin contact while they stitched up and then we were wheeled back to the room, our hospital is great in the fact that if you have a section you do automatically get a private room. The midwives were fantastic helped with DD and did her first shitty nappy change in the early hours and then I was up on my feet at 6 ish the next morning and out on Tuesday afternoon. I am having a section again this time, after a talk with the reistrar who was trying to get me to do a VBAC. I think the pertinent points he came up with were they had a 60% to 70% chance of a successful VBAC, well that was a 30-40% chance of having an emergency section which I didn't want, and he also said that I would be monitired trhoughout and on a drip, well if that was the case then I wanted to have the birth that I wanted in a clam atmosphere which is what I am having, I know that things can go wrong with a section, but I know what I am getting into and feel very positive about it. Sorry for the ramble and hope this helps

Ernest well with your past experience it is not wonder you are worried. At the end of the day you have to chose what is best for you and makes you more comfortable/relaxed but it is a tough one

Dramaqueen I don't even know which one I bought. It is the one where you can chose the fabric for the base and another one for the top if that helps?

greenfairy your birth plan sounds good. I have yet to decide where to put my yet to be rented birth pool (will probably go for a birth pool in a box). My favourite room is the kitchen as it is light and bright, but I suspect that might not be the most practical room to give birth in!

My BF went ballistic when I told her I was thinking of a HB so I don't think I will tell anyone else. People already thing I am loopy because I do hypnobirthing!

I spent my evening last night doing a fifi outfit for DD as they have a dress up day at nursery and need to dress as their favourite book character. In moment like these, I wish I could saw!

Hello, deb asked where I had got to so here I am, in case you are interested by bump pics thread

You talk so much i can't keep up

Morning all,

You are all brave as far as I am concerned - I like the theory of homebirths and hypnobirthing, but its just not for me. I'll be in Kingston Hospitla in the midwife led unit, so am hoping all will be fine there

We are also having problems with neighbours - our downstairs neighbours fight constantly. Almost every night they fight and when they are not fighting, they are making up, and they are very vocal at that too!

Spent most of last night in bed (left work 1/2 hour early too) as bump was vvvv uncomfortable, tight and felt very heavy - almost to the point of pain, but not quite iyswim. So went home and spent the evening in bed, reading, dozing and generally not doing anything. I feel a lot more relaxed now, but bump is still quite tight (and lopsided this morning too!)

ernest i'm sorry to hear you've had such tough births. my undercarriage was also torn very badly (as i was being threatened with an episiotomy which i didn't want, big mistake) and so i pushed killer hard and split everywhere and it took me over a year to heal. wasn't helped by the fact that they stitched me up 'wrong' and then i never got in for corrective surgery (still on wait list almost 2 years later??) so it's manageable now but not the same. it's part of the reason i went for hypnobirthing so i can avoid the intense pushing and work with my body instead of against it like i did last time. dh has strict instructions to tell the midwives not to say a bloody thing to me unless there is an emergency. otherwise i'm doing it myself, and listening to how my baby wants to be born, not how they think it should be!

saying all that - if i were you i would almost certainly go for the csection. plus it will give you extra recovery time to be in peace with your baby!

makecakes, neighbours ugh! i def see the benefits of a farmhouse somewhere!!

i just realised i've been letting ds watch tv since he woke up at 7 (i fell asleep on the couch until 9 then made breakfast). before this pregnancy he watched maybe an hour a day. makes me feel like a very bad mum!

ta dm. s'okay. the births themselves were probably worse for dh to watch than me to do - I was quite busy at the time! It's the 'recovery' or lack of that concerns me. But i'm back on track fro my section thanks to you lot ta

Morning all
Needahand I'd say if your kitchen is your favourite room then why not? Everything's wipeable, which has got to be a bonus (!), and you've got easy access to water and a kettle for sterilising.
If we do move in time then my plan is to birth in the kitchen of our new house for many of the reasons above - plus it's next to the bathroom and is big enough to put a double futon and a pool in.
Where you are happiest is what's important. If we don't move then the bedroom in our flat is simply the most practical room (biggish and right next to bathroom) and is also very chilled out - which are the two most important factors imo.

Nettiehay I'm a first timer too and the hypnobirthing book I've got is interesting on the whole denial/ fear association with birth - which is quite common in our society.
All my friends seem very keen to tell me the negative aspects of their births - even those who had straightforward deliveries seem to delight in playing up the tiniest things. Obviously, in the case of someone like ernest it's understandable that previous experience would make you concerned - but two friends who had totally normal births (and I've had ALL the details) still talk about them in a comparatively negative way, which I find quite strange.
I don't think there's anything brave about homebirth. It's our local hospital and their understaffing/ poor hygiene/ love of medicalisation which I'm scared of - as far as I'm concerned it's people who put themselves in the hands of practitioners who watch the clock and have rigid views on how births should progress who are brave.

My SIL's second birth is a case in point - because she had an active labour and was relaxed was told she 'couldn't' be ready to come into the (same) hospital yet when she rang them - they were trying to refuse to admit her because she was 'too calm' etc etc. She turned up - they still refused to believe her and she ended up birthing in the maternity waiting room 15 minutes later! For her first birth she wasn't informed, laboured and birthed flat on her back, and had a difficult time, including episiotomy and ventouse. She feels she would have had a very different experience if she'd been as informed as she was the second time...

Hey all - the hypnobirthing courses sound FAB! I would definitely like to do it.. let me know what you decide Rolf.

Well I had my scan yesterday and the other twin is a girl!!!! . I always thought it was a girl (well, had a 50% chance of being right anyway!). We are calling her Esther at the mo. Our little boy will be Theo.

The consultant said they are growing really well, well within the normal range even for singletons. We had a really positive meeting with him - he said he was non-interventionalist (great) - except with twins (downer).

He said he would recommend an epidural because if the second twin is breech they won't be able to deliver her without the epidural - they'd have to do a section. I'd rather not have an ep unless I really feel the need, but he said I didn't need to actually have the drug, I just needed to be wired up for it 'just in case'. He said the wires would be long enough for me to move around and he said that they wouldn't even need to do continuous heart monitoring of the first twin. So that was great. So hopefully I will be able to deliver Theo normally with no drugs (thats where hypnobirthing comes in!) and then Esther will flip round so she has her head down and she'll come out normally too. Fingers crossed!

I am reading a great book at the moment about natural birth - it is the Lamaze International book Giving Birth With Confidence. I would really recommend it to anyone wanting to give birth without intervention. It even tells you when it is time to give in and have the drugs/c-section etc!

Ernest, if you are thinking about maybe going for normal birth it might help you make up your mind.