Due August 2021 - Welcome to the World!

[PurplePansy05]

Welcome to the chattiest birth club on MN! Newcomers always welcome 💐

14 gorgeous new babies have joined us already, welcome to the world 💖💙🥳

@Smurf123 - Welcome to the world, baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - Welcome to the world, baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain - Welcome to the world, baby boy💙
@PurplePansy05 - Welcome to the world, baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 - Welcome to the world, baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum - Welcome to the world, baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 - Welcome to the world, baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 - Welcome to the world, baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx - Welcome to the world, baby Freddie 💙
@Biscuitcat - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername - Welcome to the world, baby Arya-Nyah 💖

Counting down until we welcome 20+ new arrivals:

@MrsB2019x - Induction w/c 9 August, Girl 💖
@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@Aaaaa1519 - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Angelesque - C-section 16 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, surprise 💛
@livingwithbees - EDD 16 August, surprise 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, Boy 💙
@WolfMother - EDD 17 August, Boy 💙
@Caz1226 - EDD 17 August, Boy 💙
@Millymay13 - C-section 17 August, surprise 💛
@RandomCatGenerator - C-section 19 August, surprise 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@Sheisfee - EDD 19 August, Girl 💖
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛 @notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August (but likely to be brought forward induction/C-section), surprise 💛
@Fran919 - EDD 25 August, surprise💛
@Ava50x - EDD 25 August, Boy 💙
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, Girl 💖
@HopefulB - EDD 29 August, surprise 💛

It's officially THE month! Watch this space! xx

@Caz1226 70 hours??! Wow! You must be knackered!! Huge congratulations!

Thanks everyone, the cluster feeding was real last night! My nips were so sore, but think it's because he wasn't very awake. Seems to latch better today as he is more alert.
Congrats @Caz1226 well done 👏 that sounds rough!

@Daffodil21 yep I can say these last 3 days haven’t been the best but I would do it all again in a heartbeat as soon as I laid eyes on him he was a million times worth it xx

Hi all

I’ve been trying to stay off the internet for a few days as it was adding to the pressure I was putting on myself especially on breastfeeding. So catching up now on everyone’s news. I am really enjoying this thread and the cameraderie of others in the same position, especially as - as an expat - I don’t have many friends who aren’t colleagues around.

I’ve decided against exclusive breastfeeding. It’s like a weight off my mind go have made the decision. DH said the same. I will still pump but will feed him about half and half formula and expressed milk. So he will get the benefits of breast milk but I won’t be a melted pile of sadness and exhaustion, constantly thinking about it and in tears about failing.

I know I’m going to get some judgement for it, but it feels good to have made a decision. And formula is totally acceptable as an alternative - I was formula fed, I turned out ok I think!

@Caz1226 wow for you! That’s an ordeal. I’m glad you’re doing ok now - all the very best to both of you for your recovery.

If I may give you some advice - take it easy! C section is major surgery and emergency c section even more so. Definitely get up as soon as the doctors tell you you should but don’t over do it.I found I felt quite spritely a few days after and so was walking around lots and picking up the baby, only for soreness to hit me a day or two later. Take care of yourself :)

@PurplePansy05 I’ve just seen your messages about breastfeeding. I’m so sorry you’re having such a nightmare. I’ve done a lot of reading and mixed feeding is totally fine - still very much beneficial for the baby to get any breast milk you can produce. I did see a lactation consultant and actually one of the most helpful things I learned from them was how to properly pump in a way that drained my breasts well and didn’t lead to lumps: it’s all down to not pressing into the boob, instead let it be in their natural position and hold the flange with three fingers underneath and thumb on top, a ‘C hold’. I was doing that very wrong.

She also advised on ‘power pumping’ to keep up supply - 15 mins on left, then 15 mins on right, then ten on left, then ten on right. The double pumping helps stimulate higher supply.

Finally, keep hydrated. Sounds really obvious; I’m really bad at it. Consider galactagogues - milk stimulators - too. There are lots of natural ones.

The above has helped me to up how much I can pump - I am usually hitting 100ml in 50 mins, although it varies massively, sometimes it’s only 30ml. Hope it might be of some help to you too.

As others have said, fed is best - you’re doing the best for your baby, you clearly care so much. I found that I was so stressed about breastfeeding I wasn’t spending time bonding with him - and that’s more important. My sister stopped breast feeding after 6 weeks for medical reasons - she said it was like grief not to be able to continue. It’s so tough - thinking of you.

Ah @PurplePansy05 also - NCT do one to one sessions on breast feeding. My sister said they were a huge help. They do them even if you haven’t been an NCT member - contact via website.

I am so sorry again that you’re having such a traumatic time

Congratulations @Caz1226! Your birth sounds similar to mine, really long labour then an EMCS - tiring but hopefully positive overall? Make sure you look after yourself!

@PurplePansy05 I hope the lactation consultant is helpful for you. It's such an emotional time - it took me a while to identify, but all my most upsetting feelings were linked to when feeding was going badly as it's such an emotional thing. It really is like grieving because it's part of your vision for motherhood that isn't currently going to plan. Bertie recommended Amy Brown on Instagram a while ago and she's posted about breastfeeding grief before. I hope you're feeling ok today - you're doing amazing xx

@RandomCatGenerator glad you've made a decision that's right for you 😊 EBF-ing is such a pressure isn't it? I'd love to hear how mixed feeding is going as it's something I'm wondering about too?

just a question how are those of you who are combi feeding coping with the excess milk or do i just have an over supply ?? i feel like i want to give myself a break from feeding as my nipples are still very much sore and cracked and trying to work out if this is because of the nipple shields as she won't latch without them or if its just the soreness you get in the first week or so when they're born. my milk came in thursday night and my boobs are so warm and hard 🥺 i just want her to be able to latch onto my actual nipple 😫 going to try a bath tonight with her and see if it helps as it's been suggested as it's recreating the birth

@RandomCatGenerator glad you're feeling better about things! I expected to be judged every time I told a midwife or health visitor I was combi feeding but they didn't bat an eyelid. They were pleased with how he's doing and didn't judge at all.

@lucyrp I don't have excess milk supply from pumping. I pump once in the middle of the night, once when I wake up (well, a little while after once he's sorted and I've had breakfast and a cuppa!), then again mid afternoon and then just before bed. I've got pumping time down to 5 mins on each breast as I find that any longer isn't actually that beneficial in terms of volume, so I don't bother. But I started pumping very early on as he wouldn't latch, so I've never had to deal with supply from pumping and supply from direct feeding. I definitely don't think I'd produce enough for him if I was ebf!

@Daffodil21 i feel like subconsciously i am not letting her feed as much as she should or for as long as she should because of the pain but trying to work out if the pain is because of the shields or if it is just the usual pain. i don't get pain when pumping only when feeding 🥺i think i'm going to try and get hold of a lactation consultant

does anyone know if using a haakaa is classed as "pumping" ? my boobs have been rock solid and not emptied when feeding so have attached the haakaa to collect it as it's leaking and i've managed to catch 90ml in less than 10 minutes and its given me so much relief but not sure if this is a good idea incase it causes me to make more again ?

Hi All. I am just going through all your posts, firstly congratulations to Fran & Caz on your new arrivals and I hope your recovery goes well

Secondly, so many lovely words, you've made me cry (in a good way!), thank you very much for your support and wisdom ❤❤

I went to hospital last night thinking it would just be a formality, that I'd collect antibiotics and quickly go back home. But instead they've admitted me. Unfortunately, my CS wound is infected and I've gone quite downhill when I was waiting to see a doctor yesterday. So they've tested me left, right and centre and kept me in on observation, two lots of antibiotics, painkillers and whatever else. We didn't expect this and DH ended up taking Leo home and FF last night. Leo fed well at first, but then brought up loads and he's got a bit of a rash on his cheeks and ear which wasn't there pre-formula. So that's not great.

Meanwhile, I can suddenly express 90ml in one go in hospital using the electric pump 😳 So we might just have a breakthrough here, it works very well on full breasts and maybe I needed this to make electric pumps work on me? I'll keep trying.

Anyway, I'm now on the way home and able to reply quickly as I've finally charged my phone 🤦🏼‍♀️

The lovely bf consultant sent me a long email with tips and links to videos to look at before our session next week. I'm now exhausted, but with fresh determination to make it work again and actually I've really missed bf him, it's our special little time together. I will see how I get on with my wound healing, try to continue to bf , try Bellababy at home again and do formula top ups for the next few days till I speak to the consultant. The latter very reluctantly though as my instinct is Leo doesn't quite agree with it.

Can I just say to those of you post CS, please don't be lulled by feeling great, it can give you a false sense of security. I really do not know how I've managed to develop an infection nearly a month post CS and after a really great recovery up until now, but it happens. Please rest up as much as you can, tap dry the wound very carefully after showering once your dressing is off, and air it as much as possible, including by lifting the post-partum mum tum/overhang a bit (if any). I'm now feeling rather poorly on antibiotics. Any discomfort or discharge, make sure you're seen asap xxx

PS Re Haakaa @lucyrp, I understand it collects surplus/spare milk and because it doesn't pump as such, it shouldn't create an oversupply issue. If I'm wrong please someone correct me! xx

@Smallbean27 and @Caz1226 congrats on your little ones! Sorry to hear you had a rough ride Caz, take it easy as EMCS are a lot.

@PurplePansy05 sorry to hear about your infection! They come out of no where don’t they, my EMCS ended in an infection 3 weeks after the op after cleaning it everyday. Take it easy lovely. Glad to hear your feeling more positive in terms of BF though! And regards to Leo’s rash it might just be the brand that hasn’t agreed with him. You could always buy some of the little bottles of prepare and seeing which suits best (if you decide to combi/FF long term)

@lucyrp my understanding is same as @PurplePansy05’s regarding Hakaa- I think you can use it as a manual pump by squeezing and releasing, but if you’re just hanging it on your boob to collect excess I don’t know if it would be pumping per se.

Like @Daffodil21, oversupply isn’t an issue for me. I pump 3-5 times a day and have enough to feed him probably half of what he needs. It’s so variable how much I get in any given session. My evening session today was 50ml; my afternoon session was over 100ml.

If you do have too much, you can freeze it. Just make sure to write the dates on. It keeps its nutritive value up to 3 months according to What To Expect.

On nipple shields by the way - if it hurts that much, maybe try a bigger size? I found that helped me.

On him not being able to latch, try a lactation consultant / a different lactation consultant. When I gave birth I was assured by the lactation consultant there and two doctors that my areolas were ‘too flat’ for him to get on directly. I saw someone different this week and with her help he was able to latch directly - albeit it was really painful for me. I know someone with inverted nipples who managed to latch her baby with help. So it is usually possible, at least after a week or so when the baby is a bit bigger.

@Daffodil21 @biscuitcat thank you so much 🥰

@Magik01 All I read re formula is that they come from 2 manufacturers and are "all the same", I'm guessing that's not quite correct?? He's had little bottles of Cow & Gate (pre-prepared) so far as this is what he was given at the hospital before.

@RandomCatGenerator It's a lovely thing you said about camaraderie, spot on. I'm glad it's helping you feel less alone abroad, I can imagine having a new baby home in your circumstances is an even harder challenge xx

Hi all, just catching up on posts in a brief moment of much needed relaxation.
Whilst I obviously don’t wish any of the struggles people have had on anyone, it’s been incredible to read everyone’s posts and support and a little bit like @PurplePansy05, I too have just had a little cry!

I have had a tough few days with feeding/ lack of and resultant inconsolable crying (baby most of the time but me too occasionally!) too. The first help I got with feeding was community MW visit 48hrs post birth. Feeding me or baby was definitely not high on the hospital’s priority list. Discharging me clearly was both due to capacity and COVID.

Yesterday after a follow up call from community team my OH rode the mile to JL, got me their very last electric pump, and got back in under 30mins just so I could try and get some milk into little one. We seem to have made progress, which has made me feel a lot better. I’m still trying to help her latch, and maybe 1 or 2 feeds a day we may get a good latch but definitely not consistent, and only short term until she pauses. I’ve ordered nipple shields and nipple formers from Medela to see if they will help too and asked it someone will watch us again tomorrow when we go to clinic for day 5 check/blood test. I’m hoping they will refer us to infant feeding team at that point, but if not I’ll book a lactation consultant - several people have echo’d others comments on this thread that it was the best £50-80 they spent!

Sending you all strength and patience

Sorry to hear you ended up in hospital @PurplePansy05. I had no idea you could still get an infection weeks later. I've definitely been taking recovery for granted so will be more careful from now on!

Having said that I did spend the entire morning in bed while DH was at work. Having some cuddles but mostly putting him back in his crib between feeds so I could have a doze. Feel much more rested/normal for it. The last day or two have been weird - didn't really expect to be feeling how I have been but hoping it was just tiredness/hormonal. Feel better now!

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend x

Oh @HopefulB this sounds incredibly stressful, you have so much sympathy from me I agree and I'm doing the same thing, trying to get all the help that I can and trying out different methods.

@biscuitcat I think you said up the thread that most of our low mood/crying/feeling stressed is linked to LOs feeding and this is soooo true. I have only realised this once I thought about it in more detail after your comment. It sure is a priority. However, it's hard to stay rational with mad hormones, leaking tits, baby cries and postnatal recovery, not to mention those of you with more kids trying to juggle their needs too 😱 xx

Also forgot - Get Well Soon @PurplePansy05!

Total bummer on site infection, this is a fear of mine - I’ve deliberately slobbed around the house in night shirts to try and keep area dry, but can totally see what you mean about overhang.

I was advised to look at First Steps website for Formula info if needed - it’s collated by an independent charity. Hope it’s useful Pansy. www.firststepsnutrition.org/parents-carers

@PurplePansy05 thank goodness you were seen at the hospital and thoroughly checked you over. I think you’re right that it’s easy to forget that CS is a big operation and even when you’re feeling better you still have to be really careful. I’m now 11days post CS and feeling so much better, so this is a timely reminder to me. I really hope your infection clears up soon.
As for feeding, I managed to EBF for 4 days (I’m trying hard not to add ‘only’ to that sentence). It was so painful I couldn’t bear it and so we tried FF. Thankfully Ethan took to it well and I’m now just BF for comfort when he’s unsettled. I can’t believe that I’ve managed some comfortable feeds in the past couple of days just as I’ve begun to accept that EBF isn’t going to work for us. I have cried a LOT over this and am having to try hard not to feel a failure for not managing it. I think I definitely built up a perfect image of how I would mother, and that image intensified with the miscarriages so having to adjust my perspective is tricky. However I’m learning that I can still experience closeness and intense love without EBF, and that the only judgement over how I feed our little one comes from me. I did find a Facebook group for a local la leche league meeting group, so that might be an extra place to gain some support before you see the bf consultant.
Try to be kind to yourself though, you have been (and are going) through a lot so lots of rest, relaxation and cuddles with your son and husband are in order xx

@Millymay13 I think that's exactly what I've done too. Following the miscarriages, I've made a promise to myself to always do the best for him in terms of feeding, safety, everything, at any cost. Then we're bombarded with EBF is best, this that and the other is best and everyone says something else. Even though I tried not to fall into that trap, I have held myself to an impossible standard and it's caught up with me now. xx

Just catching up on some of this. @PurplePansy05 hope the antibiotics are working and you’re feeling better soon. That’s so scary it can happen so long after. I’m about to go for a bath so going to have a proper look at mine. I’m tempted just to avoid looking at it but I really should if it can happen so long after 🤦🏼‍♀️ I had completely stopped bleeding after day 5/6 but it has randomly restarted this week after 2 and a bit weeks. When I looked it up it said the placenta scab is likely to have come away and caused it but it seems to be relatively heavy sometimes 🤔 hoping it stops again soon and I don’t have an infection or anything going on

@Millymay13 @PurplePansy05 it's interesting you both think that way. I kind of feel the opposite 🙈 I feel like my body has already exceeded my expectations by bringing him here safely, and if I can't feed him how I intended then that's ok. Your babies will be happy and healthy however they're fed ❤️

I managed one feed with him latching, and then he just seemed to forget it all (probably my fault for getting him used to formula before pushing on with bf). The midwives rated the feed as 3/5 😂

I'm going to be naughty tonight and have a glass of wine (just one!) and some pate 🙊

@PurplePansy05 hope you’re recovering well now. I will say that not once have I had a conversation about how DD was fed now that she’s 2.5. It might not help but literally nobody cares. I think when you’re in the thick of it there’s so much pressure and guilt so try not to let the fear of judgement sway you. Happy mum Is the most important thing Re formula brands. I know aptamil and cow and gate come from the same place but not sure about others. I always liked hipp organic which is what I’ve got in case of emergencies this time too.

I’m getting a referral for tongue tie tomorrow hopefully from a lovely nhs lady my friend put me in touch with. Hoping to get a quick solution as I can’t take much more bfing at the moment. The constant vomiting after a feed is relentless