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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Due August 2021 - the final countdown!

980 replies

Daffodil21 · 09/07/2021 22:31

Continuation of the previous thread.

All newcomers welcome!

Not long now!!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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12
BertieBotts · 23/07/2021 20:17

If you like the idea of combi feeding, make sure you follow Lucy Ruddle on social media as she has just published a book about it.

I have hidden AIBU because it drives me nuts but I might go and look at that one - hope it doesn't descend into nastiness as these things often do.

Yes the wait for support can be a problem. There is a national breastfeeding helpline, which is supposedly an NHS service but they hardly ever tell anyone about it! And NCT have a feeding helpline and La Leche League. So you can always get immediate personalised advice even if just over the phone. For face to face support, suss out your local support services - you can google NCT, association of breastfeeding mothers, baby cafe, La Leche League and see if any of them run support services near you. Or look up some IBCLCs, unfortunately they are private health services so do cost. But there are often low cost support packages you can get. If you look on the IBCLC GB website you can find who is near you and keep an eye on their social media to see when they post deals etc.

Also there are loads of FB groups for breastfeeding support (although a lot of them are a bit scary/intense!) which you can join but unfollow so you only go and look at it when you want to find something out. The MN infant feeding board isn't bad as well although it's not quite as good as it used to be years ago. There is/was a poster called TikTok who was an NCT breastfeeding counsellor and she used to give brilliant support but I don't see her around as much these days. Occasionally she'll pop up :)

Magik01 · 23/07/2021 20:21

@PurplePansy05 oh lovely how stressful for you! At least they are keeping an eye on you, and will take the right course of action for you and your baby boy. Hopefully it won’t be long for you now!

Also thinking of you @Smurf123 it’s really no fun being stuck in a hospital with no real plan. It does make me wonder what happens if your in labour and there’s no space at the inn!

Also in terms of formula, another vote for Hipp organic here. We started formula when DS was 7
Months after exclusively pumping (I couldn’t take anymore). He wouldn’t take anything else.

Inmypjsagain · 23/07/2021 20:49

@BertieBotts www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4304343-AIBU-to-ask-what-stopped-you-breastfeeding-if-you-wanted-to it’s this thread, not fully caught up on it, so hopefully it’s not descended. Thank you for all the advice, have followed those suggested on Instagram- not on Facebook, feel like I should join for the groups. Our NCT course leader said we could contact her about breastfeeding too and she told us to save the helpline number. I’m searching breast feeding cafes as I’ve not heard of these before!

@Magik01 thank you, Hipp seems popular!

BertieBotts · 23/07/2021 21:02

No don't join FB just for the groups! Most of them are totally batshit :o (I'm sure the August one is lovely!)

Probably there are loads on ig as well. I just don't look at it much any more but maybe I should get it back...

alittlexmasmagic · 23/07/2021 21:03

@wimbler Kendamil is palm oil free. (Honestly I'm not a saleswoman for them, just love championing a British product) x

Inmypjsagain · 23/07/2021 21:10

Ha, I did find FB quite tiring when I had it, then everyone’s mum started joining and I figured it was time to leave 😂 Instagram can be a bit overwhelming too but I’m following lots of baby stuff now.

kendamil.com/products/classic-first-infant-milk?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIuoXi7_758QIViK3tCh3L0w_aEAQYAiABEgJjjfD_BwE I’ve just been looking at different types- you can get it on Amazon too so that’s handy, though it might be more niche. I do look at the ingredients and think 🤨 is this all necessary but then I’m not sure what’s in breast milk… all the stuff from the food I eat? And if I drink coffee, Will baby get the caffeine kick? Think I’ve realised I need to read up on this more!

PurplePansy05 · 23/07/2021 21:54

@Daffodil21 Admit as in to hospital as an in-patient and keep an eye in me till the section. There wouldn't be an induction, if anything goes wrong I'll be on steroids and have my section brought forward.

I am grateful they're monitoring, absolutely @Inmypjsagain @Magik01, the doctor was very good tonight to be fair. I think I'm just genuinely so tired and it all came as a bit of a negative shock again. I never expected so many things to go wrong right towards the end and the toll this would take on me. I've really concluded my body can't do pregnancy well and I am sad about it as I hoped after the difficult first trimester I'd feel a bit better about things, but instead it's a nosedive now. Anyway, end of moaning, I'm off to do work...xx

HopefulB · 23/07/2021 21:55

Hang on in there @PurplePansy05, hope the little one behaves.

@Inmypjsagain, this is only based on what I have read/ been told as also FTM. I’ve had a few friends stop BF for various reasons - and completely agree with what @BertieBotts has said about support.

I was recommended Lucy Webber’s
Videos via you tube to help prepare
For BF.

With regards Formula, I don’t want to go down that route, but also conscious that baby will have a tiny stomach and need feeding regularly, if something properly goes wrong & I can’t feed her, I don’t want to be stressing.

Our NCT Breastfeeding support suggested that if you wanted to look at different formulas then this website is helpful from an independent charity

www.firststepsnutrition.org/parents-carers

Inmypjsagain · 23/07/2021 22:04

@PurplePansy05 I can’t really imagine, anything happening at this stage must be a shock. But it’s been a tiring week and the week before Mat leave was total chaos for me, not a nice rundown at all and that’s without 2 ctg visits! But final stretch of pregnancy now and hopefully last day (night!) of work and then you focus on putting your feet up! 💖💖💖 hope you can get through the work quickly and you get a good sleep in tomorrow!

@HopefulB thank you this! I was shocked at nct when we learned how little baby’s tummy is, yet they can feed for ages.

I’m open minded about the whole thing tbh, I’d like to breast feed but ultimately just want a happy baby, so whatever gets us there! You know, it’s odd, my boobs are aching so much right now, it’s like the talk of feeding set them off 🤔 😂

HopefulB · 23/07/2021 22:12

No worries, @Inmypjsagain,
I came to the conclusion that it was worth buying a starter pack of bottles/newborn teats, and a basic hand pump that way I could pump a little if needed for comfort, & have a bottle to leave milk with OH ifnI need a break, and also if we need to give formula. Probably not going to buy the formula itself as they’ve so widely available, and we’ve got plenty of options to buy within a mile of home, or on way back from hospital!

Inmypjsagain · 23/07/2021 22:18

@HopefulB yes, I’m looking at bottles for expressing too. I asked my midwife at 36 week appointment if I should bring formula in my hospital bag and she said not to, because if you’re struggling to breastfeed then it’s almost too much of a fallback- whereas if you really are having issues they’ll give you formula at the hospital and as you can say, can pop out to buy some! Breastfeeding would definitely work out cheaper for sure!

Whatshouldbemyusername · 23/07/2021 22:24

@PurplePansy05 hugs my love. Final stretch as all the ladies say. Your little man and you can do this ❤️❤️❤️

biscuitcat · 23/07/2021 22:46

Ladies I have a massively TMI question - is having some diarrhoea a sign of labour? I've just had that, and haven't eaten anything that I think could cause a runny tummy. Have also had loads of braxton hicks the past day or so (though have been walking more than normal and I do tend to get them when I walk), and woke up last night with pain in my bump, which I've also had a couple of times today - nothing really really sore, and fairly short lived though. I'm 37+3 today so wasn't really expecting anything to happen for a couple of weeks yet!

BertieBotts · 23/07/2021 23:16

Yes, there are two schools of thought about having formula in the house. I don't think there's a right answer - it really depends on how you feel.

The argument not to have it is that in the middle of the night if you're struggling it can be an "easy fix" and then you just always end up going back to it, whereas if you're always just thinking OK - if I can get through the next few hours - and then you do, it sort of bolsters you to carry on. I think this is particularly true if you think that people around you e.g. partner, mother, etc will be constantly wanting to "fix" breastfeeding by offering a bottle.

Now, I don't actually think it's true that one bottle is going to magically shatter all breastfeeding supply/progress, destroy the baby's gut flora and make them prefer bottles forevermore, which is what it can sometimes sound like breastfeeding advocates are saying - but I do think that what commonly happens is that breastfeeding can be about confidence. If you're already feeling anxious, don't know how much baby is getting, worry that your supply isn't enough or you're doing it wrong, worry that the baby is unsettled etc etc and then you (or DH or MIL or somebody) gives the baby a bottle and it magically seems to solve all the problems - you know they've had X amount, they fall asleep, they seem happy, then this is going to put a huge dent in that confidence which might already be shaky. Then you start to doubt yourself more, give more formula, see this cycle repeat, and before you know it the amount of formula you're giving is enough to affect supply, cause baby to get frustrated at the breast, etc.

In that situation, having no other option but to keep going with breastfeeding (especially when combined with reassurance that you're doing everything right, this is normal newborn behaviour etc) can help build up that confidence and therefore enable you to feel you can keep going with BF.

On the other hand, if you're generally quite confident in how BF is going anyway, you have a bit of knowledge about supply and demand (or sometimes, have little/no knowledge so hence don't worry about it in the first place!) or feel quite relaxed about the idea of mixing and matching, and the intensity of BF being all on you makes you feel trapped and anxious, then having that backup in the cupboard can really help. You might never need to use it but you know that it's there in case you do want to. Or you might use it sporadically to give yourself a break and therefore reduce the pressure and make the whole thing more bearable. Sometimes "all or nothing" is too much and that is absolutely valid. The idea that you must never give a bottle is rooted in an idea that once you start it's always a slippery slope and/or that you can't possibly mixed feed, which isn't true at all.

That said I don't think I will get any in, even though I think I am more likely to be in the second camp. My reason being is that I think DH will lean towards wanting to give a bottle at the first hint of trouble and I don't want the pressure from him. I'm definitely open to giving formula for whatever reason - necessity or convenience or preference - but I don't see a situation where it's absolutely urgent that we need to have some. And if there is one, there are 24 hour garages.

When you buy a pump it will normally come with a bottle or two and if you express regularly, the little breastmilk storage bags work really well. They kind of fold over the bottle and catch the milk, then you seal and write the date on them. They are much easier to store than loads of bottles and you can combine back into the one bottle when you want to feed (it's rare for a single pumping session to yield enough milk for a full feed).

WRT the ingredients in formula, they are very closely monitored and so yes, every single one of them is necessary. The components of breastmilk make up a much much longer list and we don't even know everything that's in it. But all the ingredients of formula serve a purpose and are trying to mimic some function of breastmilk, whether it's a vitamin or nutrient or whether it's the balance of fats/carbs/sugar/etc (I'm not really that clued up on nutrition so not too clear on the differences!)

In terms of food/drink going into breastmilk - breastmilk is basically a blood product, it's made up of white blood cells and fat essentially. Anything that is blood or fat soluble is going into breastmilk, which means most of what you eat/drink is not. Alcohol for example is not fat soluble, but is present in your blood. So your milk will always be as alcoholic as your blood, which sounds a bit alarming but is actually not. If you reached 0.5% blood alcohol percentage, that's a lethal dose - you'd be dead (unless you're a seriously hardcore alcoholic). 0.08% is the legal limit to drive. For context, orange juice contains roughly 0.1 - 0.7% alcohol. On the other hand, THC (cannabis) is extremely soluble in fat so if you take cannabis it will be very concentrated in your milk - should be avoided. Caffeine isn't considered a problem for breastfeeding although some people prefer to avoid it just in case it is keeping their baby awake (if you want to be cautious, just time your tea/coffee after a feed - the caffeine levels peak at about 15-45 minutes after drinking.) If your baby happens to have an allergy to something like cow's milk protein or soya or egg, the proteins from these foods can be found in your blood and therefore will go through to affect the baby, so mums with allergic babies sometimes choose to go on an elimination diet themselves rather than change to hypoallergenic formula. But things like fizzy drinks making the baby gassy, sugar keeping the baby awake, cabbage making them fart etc are probably just old wives' tales as there is no biological basis for this to happen. Tastes from some foods you eat can make their way into breastmilk - this is probably through the fat - although not generally strongly enough to seriously put them off, and sometimes it can be slightly different colours depending on what you've been eating, so expressed milk can look slightly blue, green or creamy/yellow. That's not an indication of the fat content or quality or anything of the sort. It's just slight colouration probably of the fat portion of the milk.

BertieBotts · 23/07/2021 23:17

Ooh biscuitcat yes, sometimes! It's not a sure fire sign or anything but a lot of ladies find they have a bit of a "clear out" before labour starts. It is not an imminent sign though so I would try and go to bed rather than waiting around for anything to happen.

livingwithbees · 24/07/2021 00:16

Agh is anyone up, I need some reassurance please! I’ve been asleep since about 9pm and abruptly woken up feeling a bit sick, shaky and on edge without explanation. I had dreadful backache weds morning, saw mw for 36 weeks appt who suggested it was because baby might be back to back but sent me to local DAU to confirm presentation by scan anyway (questioned whether baby is breech, it’s not!) but while there mw scanning me confirmed that head was vvvmuch engaged but didn’t note how many fifths palpable. From being in the waiting room (4.30pmish) to about 10pm I had very strong and reg BH which died off after I went to bed and haven’t really reemerged barring a few. I’ve had a fairly normal and busy day chasing after my 3yo but now feel off and can’t shake it, I’ve had a few clear outs (sorry!!) today but not diarrhoea, nothing else noteworthy apart from a few stretchy pinchy feelings inside. I’m probably driving DH up the wall with the need to pace about! Am I worrying unnecessarily? Part of me is attributing feeling so odd to incoming thunderstorms (how Shakespearean!) but I only had an induced labour with DD from start to finish so still a bit of a newbie to things I should be looking out for. Sorry to ramble, just wanted to see if anyone was up to tell me to suck it up and go back to sleep!

livingwithbees · 24/07/2021 00:17

Just to add, I’m 36+4.

lucyrp · 24/07/2021 06:06

@livingwithbees sorry no one was awake to tell you to go back to sleep. I'm guessing it hasn't developed into anything ?? Whilst at work todag i had a lot of what you described and trying to serve customers whilst going through it was quite difficult and my supervisor kept checking I wasn't actually going into labour as that's what it felt like. Same for me and it didn't develop into anything sadly, im 36+5 today

livingwithbees · 24/07/2021 06:35

[quote lucyrp]@livingwithbees sorry no one was awake to tell you to go back to sleep. I'm guessing it hasn't developed into anything ?? Whilst at work todag i had a lot of what you described and trying to serve customers whilst going through it was quite difficult and my supervisor kept checking I wasn't actually going into labour as that's what it felt like. Same for me and it didn't develop into anything sadly, im 36+5 today [/quote]
It was so strange! So much easier to rationalise in the morning though. I did get back to sleep but literally up every other hour, nothing but being really restless and agitated. Interesting that you felt similar, I wonder if it is going to turn into something sooner rather than later! Realised that I’m the same as you (36+5) but just forgot to factor in what day it was at midnight!

PurplePansy05 · 24/07/2021 07:08

Ah girls sorry you're going through some anxious times too Flowers I've not had that, apart from unpleasant BH and on-off pain on the middle of my lower back (MW said normal), but I wonder if it might be that some digestive systems are more vulnerable to temp changes. Not sure what the weather is like where you are but here it's changed overnight quite dramatically. I am sensitive like that but have not observed this now due to having diarrhoea daily anyway on Metformin. Nausea is certainly something I had before whenever the weather turns, especially with the heat and storms.

If it's an early sign, this might be nothing to be concerned about just yet, from what I read it doesn't need to be an immediate sign. It could quite easily take days/weeks and if it was you'd notice increases in other symptoms too. NCT said the contractions wouldn't be BH type, but the real ones, increasing in time. Obviously not speaking from personal experience though so anyone who's been through it please correct me if that's wrong xx

lucyrp · 24/07/2021 07:37

@livingwithbees I've had a lot of trapped wind the last couple of days, coupled with feeling sick too. The only thing I don't have is an engaged head although the midwife said with second babies they don't tend to engage until right before labour so I'm wondering whether I'll feel that when the time comes ?? Head is definitely all the way down though just not right in there. With my first labour my waters went and I didn't actually know I was having contractions until they hooked me up to the monitor and they were like yes you're contracting they're 5 minutes apart so I'm unsure of what to expect this time 😳

@PurplePansy05 I think I'm just so anxious for something to happen, like I really want them to come early around the same time as my DS did so I'm hoping for things to get going by the end of this next week and every little twinge I'm like ahhh but I obviously don't want it to happen yet I'd like to make it to 38 weeks which is a week on Monday for me.

HopefulB · 24/07/2021 08:02

Forgot to add for those looking at PJs/gowns for hospital I got a really lightweight dressing gown last year (when I needed to have procedure post miscarriage and knew hospital would be hot).

It was from CyberJammies and I absolutely love it. Also treated myself to some lovely lightweight PJs for feeling sorry for myself at home after. Hoping both will be used in more positive circumstances this year!

HopefulB · 24/07/2021 08:06

Sorry lots of people are feeling anxious.

I think it’s a good time to practice relaxation & breathing techniques and things you may try to manage labour. I’ve noticed baby is so much more active when I relax - but it’s
So tempting at this stage to keeping pushing to finish timings before baby arrives. My OH keeps getting very cross with me for not relaxing - even though I feel very slow and like I’m achieving nothing. Keep reminding yourself your body is doing an awesome thing, and all those twinges and aches are probably it’s way of telling us to do less.

livingwithbees · 24/07/2021 08:07

@lucyrp I’m similar to you - would like mine to cook for a bit longer! Living life on the edge and still haven’t organised the car seat, (have it, just needs putting back together from where covers have been cleaned and actually installing it) and half of my pram is 2.5 hours away 😂 basically in denial that labour can happen earlier than 41+6 which was when DD was born.

@PurplePansy05 interesting to hear your thoughts re weather, of course that was probably what it was last night/early this morning! It felt quite charged here despite not having the first thunder boom until 630am. Lack of other symptoms was what mostly kept me off google last night! Re contractions not being like BH - I couldn’t say despite this being my second because first was born with induced contractions so not sure how they compare with natural if that makes sense?

livingwithbees · 24/07/2021 08:14

@HopefulB Cyberjammies looks great, thank you for the link! I know what you mean about not relaxing, DH is being driven mad by my refusal to just do nothing with my feet up, I’m terrible at switching off. Might try and load my kindle up later which should keep me still for an hour Grin

What are everyone’s weekend plans? I think DD may actually be secretly relieved for an ‘in’ day as the weather is very on and off here, despite still being warm.